There were 638 spoof news stories published in July 2012. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story:  The World's Most Famous Pizza Mascot Fired!

The World's Most Famous Pizza Mascot Fired!

IRVING, Texas - Chuck E. Cheese's mascot, the giant, hideous-looking rodent has been shooed out the front door. After 35 years of being the official spokesrat for one of America's leading children's pizza establishments Chuck E. will join the rank...
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Funny story:  George Clooney Rumored To Be Getting Ready To Pop The Big Question To Girlfriend Stacy Keibler

George Clooney Rumored To Be Getting Ready To Pop The Big Question To Girlfriend Stacy Keibler

WASHINGTON, D.C. - George Clooney's best friends Brad Pitt and Matt Damon have both remarked that they have never seen their friend look happier than he is now. And the reason for the jubilantly joyful look on Clooney's countenance is due 100 perc...
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Funny story:  Ghosts Fill Empty Olympic Seats

Ghosts Fill Empty Olympic Seats

London, England-- Prime Minister David Cameron wants the world to know that the empty Olympic seats really aren't empty. The Olympic Committee decided months ago to have about 50% of the seats set aside for 'ghosts, spirits, goblins, and whatever cr...
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Funny story:  Friday the 13th astrology shocker for House of Lords reform scams

Friday the 13th astrology shocker for House of Lords reform scams

London - A cosmic tsunami is being predicted as Uranus, celestial body of sudden eruptions, turns retrograde this Friday. Nicknamed the zodiac's Great Awakener the planet currently straddles part of the Aries constellation traditionally associated...
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Funny story:  A Country Music Shocker

A Country Music Shocker

NASHVILLE - The Country Music Bureau has issued a very stern directive to the entire country music industry. The president of the CMB Blanchard "Buckaroo" Buxtonhouse has stated that recent consumer polls show that the sales of country music CDs h...
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Funny story:  Superman, Justice League Destroys H&R Block's Kansas City Corporate Office: All 7 Remaining Home Office Employees Unharmed

Superman, Justice League Destroys H&R Block's Kansas City Corporate Office: All 7 Remaining Home Office Employees Unharmed

H&R Block Drop A Bat-Grenade Down Their Own Pants. Again. Superman, Justice League Destroys H&R Block's Kansas City Corporate Office: All 7 Remaining Home Office Employees Unharmed.  The tacky, babyshit-green Corporate Offices Of Kafkaesqu...
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Funny story:  The 10 Worst Hip Hop Band Names

The 10 Worst Hip Hop Band Names

Bling Bling Magazine ran a survey and asked its readers to name the hip hop band or bands with the worst names. Quandell "Yo-Yo" Lemonmuckle, editor of Bling Bling Magazine stated that his publication had a total of 49,701 surveys returned. Entry forms were received from every state in the union except for Arizona. Lemonmuckle stated that he also received surveys from Zimbabwe, Kenya, Du...
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Funny story:  Mission Impossible? Tom Cruise starts search for wife number 4

Mission Impossible? Tom Cruise starts search for wife number 4

Following the weekend announcement by Katie Holmes attorney that she has filed for divorce from Tom Cruise, both the couple were busy making plans to get on with their life today. Tom has started he ball rolling for his fourth wife by placing an a...
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Funny story:  Adam Lambert Could Be Replacing Randy "The Dawg" Jackson On American Idol

Adam Lambert Could Be Replacing Randy "The Dawg" Jackson On American Idol

LOS ANGELES - After eleven seasons and 438 episodes the longest sitting judge on American Idol Randy "The Yo Yo Man" Jackson could be uttering his last "Yo, yo dawg" on the top rated musical reality show. The powers that be, who are known for shak...
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Funny story:  Homeland Security Crushes July 4th Terror Plot

Homeland Security Crushes July 4th Terror Plot

New York - After years of burning through trillions of taxpayer dollars, the US Department of Homeland Security has finally scored. The agency shut down an elaborate terrorist operation that would have destroyed the heart of the city on the Fourth of...
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Funny story:  Katy Perry and Katie Holmes Deny The Lesbian Rumors

Katy Perry and Katie Holmes Deny The Lesbian Rumors

LOS ANGELES - Katie Holmes filed for divorce from Tom Cruise exactly six months to the date that Russell Brand filed for divorce from Katy Perry. Katy was definitely devastated at the news where as Katie made the news, so she was certainly not the...
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Funny story:  Cheryl Cole Comforts Tom Cruise

Cheryl Cole Comforts Tom Cruise

TARZANA, California - Cheryl Cole took time off from her busy schedule to fly from London to Los Angeles and provide Tom Cruise with two comforting shoulders. The handsome couple spent the afternoon relaxing at the famed Tarzan & Jane Petting...
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Funny story:  Penn State Football Will Soon Be History

Penn State Football Will Soon Be History

UNIVERSITY PARK, Pennsylvania - Penn State University spokesperson Calhoun "Lips" Lippalino called a press conference and informed the news media that the university has received a certified letter from the NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Associat...
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Funny story:  Ann Curry and Erin Andrews leave their networks

Ann Curry and Erin Andrews leave their networks

Ann Curry and Erin Andrews both left their respective networks this week. Let's take a look at some other well-known exits of female anchors. 1980: Jane Curtin is replaced as co-host of SNL's "Weekend Update" after violating a contract clause that required her to be funny. 1987: Gayle Gardner quits SportsCenter after watching Chris Berman eat a pulled pork sandwich during a broadcast. 200...
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Funny story:  Disgraced Michael Phelps secretly exits London Olympic Games and retires from sport

Disgraced Michael Phelps secretly exits London Olympic Games and retires from sport

It was a sensational opening Saturday night at the Olympic Park Aquatics Centre in London: an American swimmer Michael Phelps, the most successful Olympian in the history of the Games, did not win a medal in the 400-meter individual medley. He strugg...
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Funny story:  Mitt Romney Asked To Leave England And Go Back To Hee Haw, Massachusetts

Mitt Romney Asked To Leave England And Go Back To Hee Haw, Massachusetts

LONDON - Mitt Romney has just clearly demonstrated the art of sticking one's foot in one's mouth. The GOP presidential candidate figured that he would jump on the Olympics bandwagon and garner all kinds of free publicity for his political campaign...
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Funny story:  Fast Food Places  Now Serve Vampires

Fast Food Places Now Serve Vampires

New York, NY-- Some fast food giants have found a new niche market to bite into--vampires. The two biggest fast food chains now stay open to dawn for their undead customers. Vampires don't eat chicken nuggets or french fries, but they do like to sl...
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Funny story:  Demi Moore Has A Crush On Tom Cruise

Demi Moore Has A Crush On Tom Cruise

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Demi Moore says that now that Tom Cruise is getting divorced from Katie Holmes that she can reveal to LaLaLand and the world a secret she has kept secret for several years. Moore, who herself is recently divorced, stated that she...
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Funny story:  Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Buy Russell Brand's The Blue Tattoo Ranch In Texas

Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Buy Russell Brand's The Blue Tattoo Ranch In Texas

SAN ANTONIO - The young stars of The Vampire Diaries flew into San Antonio to tour the 3,000 acre Blue Tattoo Ranch which is owned by Russell Brand. The beautiful, sprawling, working cattle ranch was originally owned by country legend George Strai...
View 'Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Buy Russell Brand's The Blue Tattoo Ranch In Texas'
Funny story:  L.A. To Close Down All Marijuana Shops

L.A. To Close Down All Marijuana Shops

LOS ANGELES - Literally thousands of high school and college students are extremely upset at a statement that has just been issued by Mayor Antonio "El Hey Dude" Villaraigosa. Speaking before hundreds of members of the news media Mayor V, as Linds...
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Funny story:  Washington Bails Out Facebook with a Cash Takeover

Washington Bails Out Facebook with a Cash Takeover

Washington DC - In a rare bipartisan action, President Obama has joined with Congress to purchase Internet social media giant Facebook for an undisclosed sum. "If you have to ask how much, you can't afford it," Obama joked with reporters. "But ser...
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Funny story:  Facebook Orgasms Very Common Say Psychiatrists

Facebook Orgasms Very Common Say Psychiatrists

New York, NY--Going on Facebook is becoming a sex act for many adults. About 10% of the population has had a spontaneous orgasm while viewing the popular social website. Psychiatrists aren't sure why, but think it may have something to do with how...
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Funny story:  McDonald's Happy Meal Box Survives for 20,000 Years

McDonald's Happy Meal Box Survives for 20,000 Years

When remnants of a 20,000-year-old kitchen were discovered recently in China, it was hailed as a major find. Researchers combed the site, thinking they might come across some leftover Chicken Chow Mein or perhaps some fortune cookies. No luck.
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Funny story:  The Illuminati Admit to Writing Major Portions of ObamaCare

The Illuminati Admit to Writing Major Portions of ObamaCare

ST. MORITZ, SWITZERLAND - In a festival-like gathering, Secret Societies held a conference celebrating the US Supreme Court ruling which effectively terminated use of the judicial system to limit unchecked powers of unelected bureaucrats appointed by...
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Funny story:  Vampire Diary Stars Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Reveal Their Secret

Vampire Diary Stars Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Reveal Their Secret

BUENA PARK, California - The stars of The Vampire Diaries, Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev were recently seen walking hand-in-hand at the world famous Knotts Berry Farm. The two were dressed in matching T-shirts that read "President O For 4 Mo." I...
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Funny story:  Washington Outlaws Money; Puts Americans on a Credit Allowance

Washington Outlaws Money; Puts Americans on a Credit Allowance

Washington DC - Your money isn't good here anymore. A new ruling by the Federal Reserve prohibits Americans from "owning, possessing or utilizing" money, in any shape or form, under the threat of life imprisonment. The prohibition is at the heart...
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Funny story:  Mother's Fury after Son Is Forced To Strip Naked, Dance  and Talk Dirty by Kindergarten Teacher - Whole Thing Is Filmed and Posted on YouTube

Mother's Fury after Son Is Forced To Strip Naked, Dance and Talk Dirty by Kindergarten Teacher - Whole Thing Is Filmed and Posted on YouTube

A Wisconsin mother is today furious after video of her son was posted on youtube by a Kindergarten teacher clearly showing the teacher ordering him to strip naked, dance and make comments of a sexual nature. Marjorie Blackthorn, 57, says she was...
View 'Mother's Fury after Son Is Forced To Strip Naked, Dance  and Talk Dirty by Kindergarten Teacher - Whole Thing Is Filmed and Posted on YouTube'
Funny story:  Shakira and Dolly Parton To Record An Album To Be Titled "Hips & Nips"

Shakira and Dolly Parton To Record An Album To Be Titled "Hips & Nips"

LA PAZ, Bolivia - Shakira, AKA "The Colombian Firecracker" performed before a sold-out crowd of 17,903 at The Inca Dinka Doo Coliseum. Afterwards she met backstage with a member of Boli-News, the official entertainment news agency of Bolivia. S...
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Funny story:  Swastika Replaces Olympic Flag

Swastika Replaces Olympic Flag

London, England-- Only a few gasps of horror and outrage filled the Olympic Stadium in London on Friday as a familiar red and black flag was unfurled. The dreaded Nazi flag, the swastika, had replaced the multi-coloured Olympic flag. Some in the au...
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Funny story:  Mona Lisa 'Extraterrestrial' Say Scientists

Mona Lisa 'Extraterrestrial' Say Scientists

Paris, France-- An unusual assortment of scientists and art experts met today outside the Lourve in Paris to give an incredible annoucement to the world. The scientists included exobiologists, geneticists and astronomers. Their findings pointed to...
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Funny story:  One Direction fans sign up for plastic surgery for Harry Styles

One Direction fans sign up for plastic surgery for Harry Styles

A plastic surgeon in Hertfordshire has reported a 2,000% increase in business in the last week - all from teenagers attempting to look older - so they can catch the eye of One Direction heart-throb Harry Styles. The 17 year old star has been splas...
View 'One Direction fans sign up for plastic surgery for Harry Styles'
Funny story:  Lily Pond Lane couple turns down $200 million for triple beach-front mansion

Lily Pond Lane couple turns down $200 million for triple beach-front mansion

The Hamptons, Long Island - Realtors at Long Island celeb vacation home finder iSquats have been left reeling after a Big Oil couple's 'thanks-but-no-thanks' letdown. Months of treading-on-eggshells diplomacy on behalf of 'arguably the richest, mo...
View 'Lily Pond Lane couple turns down $200 million for triple beach-front mansion'
Funny story:  Games logo cops swoop on Olympic Rings crop circle

Games logo cops swoop on Olympic Rings crop circle

Wiltshire - Olympic copyright protection authority jobsworths swooped on an Alton Barnes wheat field this morning amid reports of blatant cashing in on the Games logo. An alien crop circle depicting the Olympic Rings had sprung up overnight 'in co...
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Funny story:  Ann Hathaway Claims Catwoman Role in upcoming "The Dark Knight Rises"  affected her long after cameras stopped filming in similarly eerie way Joker role affected Heath Ledger

Ann Hathaway Claims Catwoman Role in upcoming "The Dark Knight Rises" affected her long after cameras stopped filming in similarly eerie way Joker role affected Heath Ledger

Actress Ann Hathaway has admitted that her role as Catwoman in the upcoming Batman film "The Dark Knight Rises" lived with her long after filming and that she now understands better the affect the role of The Joker had on Heath Ledger who it is claim...
View 'Ann Hathaway Claims Catwoman Role in upcoming "The Dark Knight Rises"  affected her long after cameras stopped filming in similarly eerie way Joker role affected Heath Ledger'
Funny story:  Over 12 Million New Jobs Found Locked in an Omaha Warehouse

Over 12 Million New Jobs Found Locked in an Omaha Warehouse

Omaha, Nebraska - America's frantic search for new jobs has hit the mother load. A team of Navy SEALs has uncovered and seized a long-forgotten human resource center, containing over 12.4 million private sector jobs. "At 1:09 AM, Greenwich Mean Ti...
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Funny story:  Whereabouts of chimneys from Olympics opening ceremony confirmed

Whereabouts of chimneys from Olympics opening ceremony confirmed

Having just recovered from his and Mr Grenouille's extensively boring speeches at the grand opening ceremony of the London 2012 Olympics, Lord Seb Coe, the Chairman of the Olympics, queried some of the volunteer staff as to where the 6 chimneys used...
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Funny story:  Ecuador Human Frights activist Kerry Kennedy in a spot of DUI bother

Ecuador Human Frights activist Kerry Kennedy in a spot of DUI bother

Westchester, New York - A karmic twist has slammed the brakes on top Opus Dei apologist for Ecuador's so-called Justice [sic] Ministry who appeared before a judge on DUI charges today. Kerry Kennedy, 52, is accused of fleeing the scene of an accid...
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Funny story:  CERN announces discovery of Satan particle

CERN announces discovery of Satan particle

Scientists at CERN today announced that they had discovered the Satan particle, which has the same mass and spin as the God particle, but opposite charge. When a God particle and a Satan particle collide, the two annihilate each other and energy is r...
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Funny story:  Demi Moore Not Speaking To Daughter Rumer Because of Ashton Kutcher

Demi Moore Not Speaking To Daughter Rumer Because of Ashton Kutcher

HOLLYWOOD - The Moore-Kutcher Carnivalesque atmosphere seems to continue with word out of LaLaLand that Demi Moore is extremely upset with daughter Rumer. The 49-year-old Moore, who was unceremoniously dumped by husband Ashton Kutcher after 6 year...
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Funny story:  Katie Holmes Blames The Mona Lisa For Ending Her Marriage To Tom Cruise

Katie Holmes Blames The Mona Lisa For Ending Her Marriage To Tom Cruise

New York, NY-- Actress Katie Holmes says there was another famous women that broke up her marriage to Tom Cruise--the Mona Lisa! Katie says Tom was so deeply in love with the 16th Century portrait that he even asked Katie to dress up and wear her ha...
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Funny story:  Apple Inc. May Invest in Twitter; Twitter Birdies Elated

Apple Inc. May Invest in Twitter; Twitter Birdies Elated

When news broke this week that Apple Inc. is reportedly interested in investing in Twitter, the Twitter birdies were on a high. They stopped delivering tweets for a few minutes to celebrate. "We couldn't be happier," chirped one of the birdies.
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Funny story:  Rats Laugh If Tickled, But There's More to the Story

Rats Laugh If Tickled, But There's More to the Story

Scientists were quite elated recently with their earthshaking discovery. Spoof reporters, however, have gone behind the scenes to get all the details about the observed connection between tickling and rat laughter. Like the scientists, they used...
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Funny story:  Heiress who tried to smuggle drugs into US embassy reception found dead

Heiress who tried to smuggle drugs into US embassy reception found dead

London - Eva Rausing's attempts to smuggle heroin and crack cocaine into a reception at the USA's London embassy in 2008 ended with a feeble slap on the wrist. The affair was lampooned widely with fake 'Oooh Mr Ambassador, with these crack wraps y...
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Funny story:  Britney Spears wants to compete at the London Olympics

Britney Spears wants to compete at the London Olympics

Fears were growing again for Britney Spears health last night as she told fans she would be purchasing a 'duplex' in East London and competing at the London 2012 Olympics. Speaking to a fan on myface she said she loves the east end, after filming...
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Funny story:  George Clooney and Stacy Keibler Comment On Their Food Poisoning In Italy

George Clooney and Stacy Keibler Comment On Their Food Poisoning In Italy

CERNOBBIO, Italy - George Clooney has a luxurious villa located on Lake Como, a beautiful lake named after the famous Italian-American crooner Perry Como. Clooney's Villa Oleandra Oxen Free is regarded as one of the most exquisite villas in the en...
View 'George Clooney and Stacy Keibler Comment On Their Food Poisoning In Italy'
Funny story:  A List of 10 of Sarah Palin's Top Geographical Boo-Boo's

A List of 10 of Sarah Palin's Top Geographical Boo-Boo's

Sarah Palin was a relatively unknown politician until Senator John McCain picked her to be his vice-presidential choice on the 2008 GOP presidential ticket. And after "Snowflake" Palin and "Comb Over" McCain were soundly beaten in the presidential election the "Loose Moose" from Wasilla, Alaska, has tried her best to stay in the political spotlight. The "White Wilderness Woman" with a dozen...
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Funny story:  50 Shades of Grey or 10 Shades of S**t

50 Shades of Grey or 10 Shades of S**t

50 Shades of Grey by E L James V 10 Shades of Shit by Chantelle Battersby 50 Shades of grey is the book of the moment. Everybody is trying to get their hands on a copy of this book of "Mummy Porn". But is it as good as all the hype makes it out to be. ? A local first time author, Chantelle Battersby from Miles Platting Manchester, claims that author E L James had stolen her id...
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Funny story:  The 2012 Summer Olympics: The Reason Why Costa Rica Is Extremely Upset

The 2012 Summer Olympics: The Reason Why Costa Rica Is Extremely Upset

SAN JOSE, Costa Rica - A spokesperson for the Costa Rican Olympic team, Francisco San Platanos, has expressed the fact that Team Costa Rica has just received a certified letter from The International Olympic Committee. The letter stipulates that t...
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Funny story:  Charlie Sheen Wants To Be An American Idol Judge

Charlie Sheen Wants To Be An American Idol Judge

SHERMAN OAKS - Charlie Sheen says that his days of being a "Space Cadet" are over. He stated that he is thrilled with the success of his brand new comedy show Anger Management. When asked by Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors if his days of being a "La...
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Funny story:  Reasons behind NBC's decision not to live broadcast the London Olympics revealed, dramatic events ensue

Reasons behind NBC's decision not to live broadcast the London Olympics revealed, dramatic events ensue

American station NBC refuses to live broadcast the 2012 London Summer Olympic Games. Jonathan D. Miller, the President of NBC Sports, has just announced that NBC had made a calculated choice to air sport events with 6 to 8 hours delay. "Scientific...
View 'Reasons behind NBC's decision not to live broadcast the London Olympics revealed, dramatic events ensue'
Funny story:  Mermaids Don't Exist? Minnie the Mermaid Begs to Differ

Mermaids Don't Exist? Minnie the Mermaid Begs to Differ

Minnie the Mermaid, in her seaweed bungalow at the bottom of the sea, was shocked to read on NYDailyNews.com on July 3 that she doesn't exist. But there it was! That glaring headline: "Mermaids, like zombies, not real, say govt. experts." She trembled as she drank a glass of sea water and read these words in the article: "The National Ocean Service has declared that the mythical creatures d...
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Funny story:  The Top 10 Vampire Movies of 2012

The Top 10 Vampire Movies of 2012

Vampire movies have been around since the days of silent films. When most people think of vampires the name that comes to mind is Count Dracula. Count Dracula was portrayed in the 1931 motion picture Dracula by the legendary actor Bela Lugosi. The film is considered to be the "Granddaddy" of all vampire movies. The motion picture was followed by three sequels; Dracula's Daughter (1936...
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Funny story:  Nottingham News: For W/E: 14th July 2012 - With Comments

Nottingham News: For W/E: 14th July 2012 - With Comments

Monday 9th July 2012 Topic: Crime - Murder "Man died after stabbing in Nottingham" Source: Nottingham Police Site Extract: A man who died after sustaining injuries during the early hours of this morning was stabbed, police have tonight confirmed. A Home Office post-mortem examination confirmed the cause of death as a stab wound to the leg. The victim, who is believed to be in h...
View 'Nottingham News: For W/E: 14th July 2012 - With Comments'
Funny story:  Snakes in the grass, not seaweed!

Snakes in the grass, not seaweed!

Evolution geeks are today enraptured by the latest plot twist in their mythology. For years, fibbing 'professors' such as atheist fundamentalist and evolution crackpot Richard Dawkins have been spreading the tale that snakes originated from the se...
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Funny story:  Higgs Boson Found--Then Lost Forever

Higgs Boson Found--Then Lost Forever

Bern, Switzerland-- Excited physicists at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) have finally discovered the elusive Higgs Boson. The sub-atomic particle has been the object of an intense search by scientists for over thirty years. Tears of joy at its dis...
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Funny story:  Tibetan Wild Yak an Endangered Species

Tibetan Wild Yak an Endangered Species

Washington DC: PETA representatives met with Obama administration officials on behalf of Tibetan animal rights activists who feel the Tibetan wild yak is an endangered species. There are only 1,000 Tibetan wild yaks remaining in the high altitude...
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Funny story:  US Wins Gold Medal In Pissing Contest

US Wins Gold Medal In Pissing Contest

London, England-- The United States has won the gold medal in the pissing contest in the 2012 Olympic Games. Russia took second place, with a surprise win for Tibet in third place. The contest was held in the Olympic Stadium and was for adults only...
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Funny story:  Fifty Shades Of Red:  The Incestuous Relationship Between Obama And The Media

Fifty Shades Of Red: The Incestuous Relationship Between Obama And The Media

BILLINGSGATE POST - There's much more to Dr. Billingsgate's publishing phenom than just secret backroom assignations between a panting press and a president willing to use any device to satisfy himself and his red-shaded lovers. For those who hope...
View 'Fifty Shades Of Red:  The Incestuous Relationship Between Obama And The Media'
Funny story:  Google To Lease Space In Peoples Heads For Mammoth Surge In Internet Data

Google To Lease Space In Peoples Heads For Mammoth Surge In Internet Data

Internet giant Google has come up with a solution to its data storage problems. The exponential growth in the use of the Internet has caused many of the top web site facilities to experience excruciating problems with where to put all the billions o...
View 'Google To Lease Space In Peoples Heads For Mammoth Surge In Internet Data'
Funny story:  Steven Tyler Quits American Idol

Steven Tyler Quits American Idol

LOS ANGELES - Steven Tyler, at the age of 64, says he wants to get back to rocking and rolling with his band Aerosmith. Tyler spoke with Buck Yazoo of Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine about the band's soon-to-be-released album. "Lips" as he is known said th...
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Funny story:  "Are your Swiss Bank Accounts Any Better Off Now Than They Were Four Years Ago"? Mitt To U.S. Dressage Federation Convention

"Are your Swiss Bank Accounts Any Better Off Now Than They Were Four Years Ago"? Mitt To U.S. Dressage Federation Convention

Mitt Romney today demonstrated a profound sense of the moment and just how severely in touch he can be with his audience in a speech before the U.S. Dressage Federation summer convention being held in the Cayman Islands over the past two months. It w...
View '"Are your Swiss Bank Accounts Any Better Off Now Than They Were Four Years Ago"? Mitt To U.S. Dressage Federation Convention'
Funny story:  Naked Olympic Games

Naked Olympic Games

Olympic officials have sanctioned a new spectacle for the Olympics that should give the Games a real boost, in the light of so little publicity for the event so far. David Cameron, visibly shaken, declared that it was a great opportunity to get aw...
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Funny story:  Skimpy bikinis banned by butch Olympic lesbians

Skimpy bikinis banned by butch Olympic lesbians

Women's beach volleyball players have been advised not to wear tight fitting bikinis at the 2012 London Olympics. Athletes in the event have worn skimpy swimwear since the sport was introduced at the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta. Now the change has b...
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Funny story:  Old Lady Has Sex Change

Old Lady Has Sex Change

Philadelphia, PA-- An 89-year old spinster has become the oldest person to ever have a sex change operation. Miss Vicky Smegma is now known as Mr. Victor Smegma and he says that he couldn't be happier. The former English school teacher says he...
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Funny story:  Penn State To Sell The Joe Paterno Statue

Penn State To Sell The Joe Paterno Statue

UNIVERSITY PARK, Pennsylvania - A spokesperson for the highly scandalized Penn State University has just confirmed reports that the school board of directors has voted unanimously to remove the 7-foot tall, 901 pound statue of former head coach Joe P...
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Funny story:  Johnny Depp Devastated As Amber Heard Dumps Him

Johnny Depp Devastated As Amber Heard Dumps Him

NEW YORK CITY - It appears that Johnny Depp sure got sucker punched by his brand new girlfriend Amber Heard as Mr. D got D'd for dumped. Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo noted that the relationship had barely gotten off the ground and...
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Funny story:  UN Spokesperson Emperor Wang from Planet Porno Threatens Member Nations with Sex Ray

UN Spokesperson Emperor Wang from Planet Porno Threatens Member Nations with Sex Ray

Prompting warnings of a "global governance" thrust, the United Nations spokesperson, Emperor Wang from Planet Porno, released a report Thursday proposing mechanisms including a global vibrator tax, lubrication transaction tax and an "Porn Actor's ta...
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Funny story:  Lindsay Lohan Is Threading On Very Thin Ice

Lindsay Lohan Is Threading On Very Thin Ice

LOS ANGELES - It has not been a good year for Lindsay Lohan as the freckle-faced, troubled girl has already been involved in two automobile accidents. And in both cases she rear-ended the other vehicle which leads many to believe that she is just...
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Funny story:  Mitt Romney and The World War II Veteran

Mitt Romney and The World War II Veteran

DOVER, Delaware - Mitt Romney's Mormon Merriment Presidential Campaign Bus Tour pulled into Dover, the town that claims to be the place where drinking straws were invented. Romney was asked by a gentleman who said he was 89, if he feels that he ca...
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Funny story:  Steve Nash Signs With The L.A. Lakers - Kobe Bryant Promises To Share The Ball

Steve Nash Signs With The L.A. Lakers - Kobe Bryant Promises To Share The Ball

LOS ANGELES - There is lots and lots of joy in Laker Land today as the former Phoenix Suns super star, Steve Nash will now be wearing the blue and gold colors of the Los Angeles Lakers. The Lakers knew that they had to try and lose their "Bad Boy"...
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Funny story:  NASA to Research Particle Theory of Galactic Fairness

NASA to Research Particle Theory of Galactic Fairness

WASHINGTON, DC - While the scientists at CERN in Europe spent July 4th announcing their discovery of a Higgs Boson particle, America's government scientists at NASA were busy writing a "brilliant" thesis on why they are not "losers." While the scient...
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Funny story:  In A Shocking Turn of Events: American Idol Is Losing All Three of Its Judges

In A Shocking Turn of Events: American Idol Is Losing All Three of Its Judges

HOLLYWOOD - Season 12 of American Idol is going to look a little bit different that the end of last season did. The only recognizable person on the show will be Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest. Word out of Tinsel Town is that there are serious rumblings c...
View 'In A Shocking Turn of Events: American Idol Is Losing All Three of Its Judges'
Funny story:  Parking furor over US Olympic Security's billion-dollar rapid response HQ

Parking furor over US Olympic Security's billion-dollar rapid response HQ

London - It's designed to be scrambled at a moment's notice and uses high-tech electronic wizardry not seen outside the Pentagon's International Space Station Olympic command centre. This morning the existence of the CIA's secret mobile London HQ...
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Funny story:  Chick-fil-A to Drop Waffle Fries from Menu: Too Gay

Chick-fil-A to Drop Waffle Fries from Menu: Too Gay

ATLANTA GA (AP) The Chick-fil-A fast food chain announced yesterday that it would be dropping its popular "Waffle Fries" from its menu and replacing them with a new fried potato product. At a press conference, Chick-fil-A spokesman Ted Haggard ex...
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Funny story:  JFK:  Zombie Hunter  Set to Surpass Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

JFK: Zombie Hunter Set to Surpass Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Hollywood may well have surpassed itself after it was announced today that Kevin Costner has signed up with Universal Studios to write, produce, direct and star in the highly anticipated JFK: Zombie Hunter movie which, along with the recently release...
View 'JFK:  Zombie Hunter  Set to Surpass Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter'
Funny story:  Octomom Wants to "Settle Down and Raise a Family"

Octomom Wants to "Settle Down and Raise a Family"

After having fourteen children via in-vitro fertilization and raising the children without a husband, Octomon had decided she wants to meet someone nice and settle down and raise a family. Octomom said her ideal mate would be young, good looking,...
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Funny story:  Olympic flame extinguished, David Beckham loses backup flame

Olympic flame extinguished, David Beckham loses backup flame

There's the Olympic cauldron but the Olympic flame is no more. The shocking news that the Olympic flame has been extinguished and the British Olympic organizers can't light it again due to David Beckham losing the only backup flame has just been l...
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Funny story:  Second Olympian Expelled For Racist Tweet

Second Olympian Expelled For Racist Tweet

LONDON - A member of the Swiss soccer team, Michel "Mohawk" Morganella has been expelled from further participation in the London Olympics and sent home. The Swiss team lost to the South Korean team 2-1 on Sunday. And on Sunday night the 23-year-o...
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Funny story:  The U.S. Health Department Has Banned Jessica Simpson's Diet

The U.S. Health Department Has Banned Jessica Simpson's Diet

LOS ANGELES - Since having her baby on May 1, Jessica Simpson has tried desperately to lose some of the astounding weight she gained during her 10 month pregnancy. She recently sat down with Kiowa Kettle of Tittle Tattle Tonight and quipped that t...
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Funny story:  Tom Cruise Is So Devastated About The Divorce That He Says He May Retire From Making Motion Pictures

Tom Cruise Is So Devastated About The Divorce That He Says He May Retire From Making Motion Pictures

HOLLYWOOD - Friends of Tom Cruise are expressing concern and worry over the fact that he is taking the divorce very, very hard. A close friend of Tom's, who did not want his name revealed, stated that he spent a few hours with Tom at a local Pompo...
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Funny story:  Donald Trump Furious At Toupee Charge

Donald Trump Furious At Toupee Charge

MANHATTAN - Well, well, well, it appears that billionaire talking head Donald Trump can certainly dish it out, but he definitely cannot take it. The entertainment news agency iRumors is reporting that the man with the hairdo from hell is extremely...
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Funny story:  London 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony Exposes Non-existent Countries

London 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony Exposes Non-existent Countries

The international community is trying to come to terms with the shock revelation that some countries with which nations have links, simply do not exist. Two hundred and four countries were represented at the opening ceremony of London 2012, and it...
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Funny story:  This World Has Gone to the Dogs

This World Has Gone to the Dogs

Sioux City IA: A retired Starfleet Admiral and former Captain of a Galaxy Class Starship has just written "Space Memoirs" about his various experiences while travelling in space. Here is an excerpt from the book. An amusing event occurred during a...
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Funny story:  Madonna Asked To Leave England Immediately!

Madonna Asked To Leave England Immediately!

LONDON - Madonna who will turn 54, on August 16, performed before a far from sell-out audience in Hyde Park. The "Material Girl" who is now known as the "Material Grandma" received a less than enthusiastic reception and was booed constantly during...
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Funny story:  Irish Republican Army Mortally Wounded By Change In Electoral Law

Irish Republican Army Mortally Wounded By Change In Electoral Law

Ireland's peak terrorist organisation, the Irish Republican Army, has been severely damaged by recent changes in the country's electoral laws. The Irish parliament, this week, passed an amendment to electoral laws, removing state funding from poli...
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Funny story:  Anderson Cooper Finally Comes Out And Admits That He Rides "Sidesaddle"

Anderson Cooper Finally Comes Out And Admits That He Rides "Sidesaddle"

LARAMIE, Wyoming - Anderson Cooper, host of CNN's Anderson Cooper 360 has finally done a 360 and revealed that he had finally decided to step out of the "Closet." Cooper was vacationing in Laramie, Wyoming on the Hopalong Cassidy Commemorative Dud...
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Funny story:  Romney Thinks Speech to Wildly Cheering KKK Rally Not Racist As Long As He Calls Obama Everything but 'Black'

Romney Thinks Speech to Wildly Cheering KKK Rally Not Racist As Long As He Calls Obama Everything but 'Black'

Mitt Romney's curious, unconvincing, some may even say farcical and long winded assertion to a Klan rally here today that his attacks on what he called "the very bad exotic looking socialist Christian... excuse me, atheist or Muslim, take your pick,...
View 'Romney Thinks Speech to Wildly Cheering KKK Rally Not Racist As Long As He Calls Obama Everything but 'Black''
Funny story:  50 Shades of Filth! Author angry at 'mummy porn' label

50 Shades of Filth! Author angry at 'mummy porn' label

The author of mucky book trilogy, 50 Shades of Grey, EL James is said to be unhappy with the label of 'mummy porn' for her series of dirty books. The books are sweeping the nation as 'ladies' take a break from cooking and cleaning to read this abo...
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Funny story:  Fashion Store Plans Nazi Europe T-Shirt After Success Of Slave Trade Version

Fashion Store Plans Nazi Europe T-Shirt After Success Of Slave Trade Version

A nationwide fashion chain is planning to market a T-shirt bearing a print of a Nazi map of Europe in 1943. TossPot came up with the idea following the success of a shirt whose design is a reproduction of an antique map depicting the transatlantic...
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Funny story:  New Texas Voter ID Law Bars Students OKs Labrador Retrievers to Vote

New Texas Voter ID Law Bars Students OKs Labrador Retrievers to Vote

The Texas State Legislature today took a bold and rather stunning step to deflect unwanted attention from its earlier passage of a voter ID law that permitted concealed firearms permits to pass for valid voting Id while barring student Ids for the sa...
View 'New Texas Voter ID Law Bars Students OKs Labrador Retrievers to Vote'
Funny story:  Sausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake

Sausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake

Modern-day medical research demonstrates a clear and consistent link between meat consumption and virtually all Western diseases - cancer, heart disease and diabetes, to name just a few. Could sausage possibly be an exception? Sausage company H...
View 'Sausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake'
Funny story:  "God Particle" Found To Be Mormon Messenger

"God Particle" Found To Be Mormon Messenger

Special to TP News - Physicists at the CERN Laboratory in Switzerland announced that the Higgs boson, the so-called "God particle," resembles the Mormon angel Moroni. Moroni is the keeper of the golden plates on which is inscribed the Book of Mormon.
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Funny story:  Bristol Palin and Pamela Anderson Are 2 of The 12 Celebrities Picked For Dancing With The Stars' The All-Stars

Bristol Palin and Pamela Anderson Are 2 of The 12 Celebrities Picked For Dancing With The Stars' The All-Stars

HOLLYWOOD - After months of speculating as to which celebrities would be appearing on Season 15 of Dancing With The Stars the wait is finally over. DWTS Host Tom Bergeron announced that the suits (bosses) at ABC have picked 12 former contestants t...
View 'Bristol Palin and Pamela Anderson Are 2 of The 12 Celebrities Picked For Dancing With The Stars' The All-Stars'
Funny story:  Katie Holmes Tells Tom Cruise She Wants Half of The $600 Million or Else She's Singing Like A Canary

Katie Holmes Tells Tom Cruise She Wants Half of The $600 Million or Else She's Singing Like A Canary

NEW YORK CITY - Kathie Holmes has been keeping pretty much of a low profile in regards to her filing for divorce from her husband of five years Tom Cruise. But reports are surfacing out of the Big Apple, where Katie is living with daughter Suri, t...
View 'Katie Holmes Tells Tom Cruise She Wants Half of The $600 Million or Else She's Singing Like A Canary'
Funny story:  NRA President: Guns Don't Kill People But Little Balls of Lead Discharged from Gun Barrels at 3,400 Feet Per Second That Tear through Flesh, Tissue, Bone and Major Organs May Have Teensy Bit to Do with It

NRA President: Guns Don't Kill People But Little Balls of Lead Discharged from Gun Barrels at 3,400 Feet Per Second That Tear through Flesh, Tissue, Bone and Major Organs May Have Teensy Bit to Do with It

NRA President Wayne LaPierre startled newsmen today with a most graphic concession. While holding out his thumb and index finger with tips barely touching, he acknowledged that although no one can deny that people kill people, guns may have "a teensy...
View 'NRA President: Guns Don't Kill People But Little Balls of Lead Discharged from Gun Barrels at 3,400 Feet Per Second That Tear through Flesh, Tissue, Bone and Major Organs May Have Teensy Bit to Do with It'
Funny story:  Bristol Palin Says "No Sex" Until Marriage

Bristol Palin Says "No Sex" Until Marriage

WASILLA, Alaska - Bristol Palin, the 21-year-old unmarried mother of 3-year-old Tripp Johnston has suddenly become the unofficial spokesperson for young teen girls. Bristol "The Pistol" as her mother, Sarah "The Snowflake" Palin calls her, got pre...
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Funny story:  Islamic Volleyball announced as new Olympic Sport for 2020

Islamic Volleyball announced as new Olympic Sport for 2020

Following on from the introduction of Beach Volleyball in the Atlanta 1996 Games, the next evolution of Volleyball is to be recognised in the 2020 Olympic Games. The increasingly popular sport of Beach Volleyball originated in Santa Monica, Calif...
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Funny story:  Brad Pitt Having Second Thoughts About Marrying Angelina Jolie

Brad Pitt Having Second Thoughts About Marrying Angelina Jolie

NEW YORK CITY - Even Las Vegas oddsmakers are leery of making odds on if and when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will officially tie the knot. Brad recently expressed that he is having second thoughts about the whole wedding situation. When promp...
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Funny story:  Naked Scottsdale Carjacker Was Probably On Bath Salts - Scottsdale PD

Naked Scottsdale Carjacker Was Probably On Bath Salts - Scottsdale PD

Scottsdale Az: An off duty law enforcement officer with the Scottsdale Police Department today told reporters that the man taken into custody earlier today following an incident in the city was probably on drugs, most likely bath salts. In a terri...
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Funny story:  Overly-complex human history retconned

Overly-complex human history retconned

Washington, D.C.--A group of the world's leading historians gathered in Washington today to announce that the excessively-burdened and contradictory narrative of human history was to be retconned immediately "in order to make grasping human history e...
View 'Overly-complex human history retconned'
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