Stalybridge Celtic of the Conference North have examined their finances and decided that promotion would be financial suicide.
"We said to Jim Harvey, the manager, to get us promoted in three years," said chairman Rob Gorski. "The bugger nearly di...
Dorset - Bournemouth resident Steve Hornsby has had a lucky escape after a shower of gelatinous alien boob job filler splattered over his garden this weekend.
Globules of pale blue extraterrestrial gunk were seen carpet bombing his lawn during an...
Hearing Bawa Wawa scream out, "I have two hoohoo's!" is not something that the audience of "The Vu" get to hear every day, but that's exactly what happened when Joan and Melissa Rivers stopped by "The Vu" on Tuesday.
Wawa introduced the ladies' n...
The name Sir Dr Wilbert Vagina-Crumpington is little heard these days, and that is a great shame, for he was one of the greatest explorers of pre-Victorian Britain. He discovered the bottom of the Nile, and he invented Madagascar.
He is responsible for recording for the first time countless tribes around the world, most of which he named after himself. He is also responsible for discovering an...
Manufacturers and other employers look set for a welcome boost in employment figures - thanks to increasing obesity.
Despite the current recession, waistlines have been expanding rapidly in the last year. Many people are now unable to wear no...
A Europe-wide TV channel is to be launched next week, featuring the very best in European interest programming. The channel, to be called EURO-TV, will do its best to avoid the problems encountered by similar now-defunct channels.
Those problems were largely caused by the multilingual nature of Europe. EURO-TV will try to avoid these by not broadcasting any speech. Entertainment will be provid...
John Terry has spoken to the people after his team cheated their way to victory against QPR in the FA Cup.
Chelsea nicked a result in the match due to Daniel Sturridge stepping on a Second World War landmine in the Loftus Road penalty area after r...
T.I.T.V (the TV channel responsible for bringing you "I'm A Celebrity I Like Cheese") has been forced to release an apology after German Sheppard Watchdogs discovered they had being using computer game graphics instead of real life footage to promote...
It seems that the days when your average zombie was a shuffling, gormless, brain eating moron, with a turn of pace like a pub football team's centre half are long gone.
Zombies are speeding up, according to ZombieWatch UK, the government funded qu...
Dublin, Eire - Any link to a deceased British code breaker is of course extremely tenuous Gardai sources admitted today.
The discovery of a woman's body stuffed inside a large wheeled travel bag in St David's Terrace, Blackhorse Avenue, Dublin 7 h...
Liverpool council are contemplating refurbishing the Liverpool dock area and one of the harbours is to be their "flag-ship" because of a lucrative offer by slave-drivers to have their ships docked there.
Liverpool, one of the main hubs for ancient...
In Sunday's shock development, as revealed in explicit detail in the Sunday redtops, we here at SEN can almost but not quite exclusively reveal, that local man, Martin Shuttlecock, has invited Bollywood icon Aishwarya Rai down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexi...
MIAMI BEACH, FLA. -- Shocked Republican leaders swarmed outside a swanky, 25-story beachside condo today, each seeking audience with the Sunshine State's newly named Republican nominee for U.S. President -- famous movie actor Johnny Depp. The unruly...
"There you go Fred, get that down yer. So yeah, as I was sayin'. Damsel in distress so I got t' do what I can t' 'elp the lady out. So I goes trudgin' out onto me lawn with Spanza47b. She shows me where to stand so as t' be ready to give the stranded disc a push. Says she'll call out to me when she's ready.
So she climbs back in up this sort ov ladder fing, and 'baat thirty seconds or so later...
Demi Moore's descent from red carpet to frequent Piggly-Wiggly supermarket visits followed a crisis reportedly brought on by a decidedly delicious party combo of Whip-It, Redi-Whip and Dream-Whip.
She was "re-dispensing" and otherwise "acting like...
It was another day, like any other in the bowels of Tripoli. Another coffee shop dive with tables occupied by the desparate, the heart broken, the insipid, the millipedes, the cockroaches... Spam was at the piano, playing tunes for the forgotten. I was behind the bar frothing a cappucino for a large Tunisian who was making me nervous taking up nearly two of my new bar stools.
"I say Dick, what...
22th Jan 2012: Police authority 'alarmed' over Coppers show
Category: Crime
Link: This is Nottingham - Police Authority Alarmed
Nottingham Police officers have been slammed for their behaviour after appearing on a Channel 4 TV documentary. The programme called Coppers was broadcast on Monday night and followed police officers on patrol in Nottingham.
But the behaviour of some officers has no...
NEW ORLEANS - Lady Gaga performed before a sell-out crowd at The Ooh La La Convention Center in the city known as The Big Easy.
After her concert, Lady G spoke in her dressing room with Tequila Tallyho of Left Coast Mirror Magazine.
Miss Tallyh...
Spelling Bees will look differently beginning next year as officials have decided to eliminate contestants spelling words aloud. Instead, participants will throw darts at the correct word.
The announced will say the word, and the speller will s...
Itsuptou,New York-Mr.and Mrs. Steven Miller's Languor Monkey, Albert, who disappeared several years ago, was found alive and unhurt in the Wehea forest, on the eastern tip of Borneo island. Appearing disheveled and somewhat grizzled, Albert leapt in...
The world of 3D is branching out from movies and television into our everyday lives. Apple have just released the i-Glass - a pair of regular looking spectacles, which allow the wearer to experience real life in 3 dimensions.
Users will now feel...