Spoof news stories from January 2012
There were 895 spoof news stories published in January 2012. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Nina Dobrev will quit Vampire Diaries if she has to kiss Ian Somerhalder again: Wait, what?
Actress Nina Dobrev has threatened to quit the CW hit show, The Vampire Diaries, if she has to shoot another kissing scene with Ian Somerhalder. Despite all the online rumors that claim Nina and Ian are dating, Nina Dobrev set the record straight to...
'Reverse Bonus Checks' Drain Wall Street Bank Accounts
New York -- The global economic crisis has finally caught up with Wall Street insiders who triggered it. They are discovering that their traditional year-end compensation is lowering the balance on their bank accounts, rather than raising it.
"The...
It's Official! X-Factor's Rachel Crow and Drew Ryniewicz To Tour With Selena Gomez And Demi Lovato
HOLLYWOOD - A spokesperson for Selena Gomez has just announced an upcoming concert tour that will feature Gomez, Demi Lovato, and two of this year's youngest X-Factor contestants Rachel Crow, 13, and Drew Ryniewicz, 14.
The 37-city tour is being p...
New Greek Threat: More Credit for Us Or No More Gyros for You
Athens -- Facing a debt burden that could enslave its citizens for decades to come, Greece has gone on the offensive, declaring it will halt the production of gyros worldwide if it's not given a larger line of credit.
"Go ahead and laugh, but I ca...
Super Bowl Controversy: National Anthem Will Be Replaced with a Dodge Ad
Indianapolis -- Football fans watching Super Bowl XLVI can remain seated during the pregame ceremonies this year, because the singing of The Star-Spangled Banner will be preempted by a television commercial for Dodge trucks.
"At $7 million a minut...
Republicans Battle Over How Far To Turn Back The Clock
Crossroads, South Carolina -- Despite their endless bickering, the Republican presidential candidates all agree that they would like to take the nation back to a more gentler and prosperous era. But they have very different views on what point in Am...
President Obama Tells Vice-President Joe Biden He Has To Do More Around The White House Or He May Be Put On Probation
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A highly reliable, unnamed, inside White House source has revealed that President Obama recently had a heart-to-heart meeting with Vice-President Joe Biden.
According to the source, it is really no secret at the White House that...
All Sent Items: To Katie1988 From SteveTheMan
To: Katie1988@topmail.com
From: SteveTheMan@talktalc.co.uk
Hi Katie - it was so nice to finally meet you! After exchanging all those emails about family trees and both being new to the whole ancestry thing it was handy to exchange ideas. I've found a few more distant relatives on my Dad's side, so my tree is beginning to fill out now. How are you getting on? Maybe we could meet up again to c...
China Sending Men to the Moon to Build a Lunar iPad Factory
Beijing -- China has revealed the purpose of its manned missions to the moon. The Chinese want to construct their next electronics assembly plant there as the first step toward using the moon as a manufacturing zone.
"It's no secret that our count...
Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez To Record A Valentine's Day CD Based On The Songs of Led Zeppelin
TARZANA - Justin Bieber and his girlfriend Selena Gomez were enjoying Southern California' wonderfully, warm, wintertime, weather as they visited the famed Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo.
The couple who have visited the petting zoo before walked ar...
Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Say That Taylor Swift's Hauntingly Beautiful Song "Safe And Sound" Is Their Favorite Song
CANCUN, Mexico - The two stars of the hit show The Vampire Diaries Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder were recently down in Cancun, Mexico taking a much needed break from all of the hustle and bustle of LaLaLand.
Dobrev and Somerhalder stayed at the...
Miley Cyrus Reportedly Hospitalized With 'Texting Fatigue'
LOS ANGELES - The year 2011 was definitely a year of ups and downs for Miley Cyrus, the 19-year-old singer who became nationally known for her starring role on the Disney Channel's Hannah Montana.
During the summer Miley had a bad planking experie...
Leigh Van Bryan and Emily Bunting compensation could run to $$$ millions
Birmingham - It's been billed as an ironic twist on John Cleese's notorious 'Sole reason for visit' response to a US visa questionnaire about 'Are You Planning To Overthrow The United States Government By Force?'
And it could be a very lucrative d...
Cher Fails to Prove She's Not Dead -- Burial Set for Tuesday
Hollywood, California -- Former superstar Cher has fallen victim to a bogus Tweet, which announced that she had passed away last Thursday. It appears that the 65-year-old singer/actress has no way of proving that she is indeed still alive.
"Cher h...
Kim Kardashian Has Invited Rob Pattinson To Travel With Her Down To Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
HOLLYWOOD - Rob Pattinson, the star of the Twilight series, has just received what he is calling one of the best offers he has ever had.
Pattinson said that out of the blue he received a phone call from Kim Kardashian. She asked him how his brand...
President Obama Is Upset With Vice-President Joe Biden For Making Mother-In-Law Jokes In Front of Michelle's Mama
WASHINGTON D.C. - Word filtering out of the White House is that President Barack Obama is not a happy camper.
It seems that the other day during a White House State Dinner in honor of France's First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy Vice-President Biden in...
'CSI: Kardashian' Puts the Madcap Back into Murder
Hollywood, California - CBS has launched a fourth version of its Crime Scene Investigation series, but with a twist. This time, the show plays forensics for fun, with members of America's least talented but most publicized showbiz family filling the...
Ian Somerhalder Has Been Asked To Appear On The Next Edition of 'Dancing With The Stars'
HOLLYWOOD - Tom Bergeron the host of the hit show Dancing With The Stars has verified the rumor that one of the stars of the The Vampire Diaries, Ian Somerhalder has been asked to appear as one of the celebrity dancers for the upcoming season.
Ber...
Kate Gosselin Devastated At Being Dumped By Steven Tyler Says She Has A Crush On Russell Brand
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Kate Gosselin the former star of two cancelled cable shows Jon & Kate Plus 8 and Kate Plus 8 was in West Hollywood visiting her former dance partner on Dancing With The Stars Tony Dovaloni.
Gosselin said that Tony was there fo...
Demi Lovato Reveals She Has Quite a Crush On Zac Efron
BEVERLY HILLS - Demi Lovato was recently talking to her hair stylist FuFi Fondue as she sat in his Haven of Hair Salon getting her hair trimmed.
She told Fondue that over the Christmas holidays she and her little sister had gone to see the new mov...
NBA Star Lamar Odom's Barhopping Has Wife Khloe Kardashian Hopping Mad!
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The way things are going, there very well could be another basketball divorce in the future for yet another one of the infamous Kardashian attention-seeking sisters.
Bedroom Pillow Talk has learned that Khloe Kardashian is seeki...
Maksim Chmerkovskiy, The Dancing With The Stars 'Bad Boy of The Ballroom' Will Have His Own Sit-Com Called "Dancing And Fighting With Maksim"
HOLLYWOOD - Word out of Tinsel Town is that Maksim Chmerkovskiy, a native of the Ukraine, and one of the most controversial members of Dancing With The Stars has agreed to star in his very own situation-comedy.
The 31-year-old Ukrainian dancer who...
Lady Gaga "My Bad Romance With A Homeless Brit Vagrant"
The showbiz world was in turmoil last night as outrageous pop diva Lady Gaga revealed to the press that on her last tour of the uk she had conducted a tawdry love affair with a 67 year old alcoholic stumblebum she met outside the O2 Arena after yet a...
Kaley Cuoco to quit Big Bang for physics
It was the news that went off like an thermonuclear device around Hollywood.
Kaley Cuoco, actress who plays Penny on the hit sitcom The Big Bang Theory has announced her intention to quit the show at the end of it's current season.
It is the re...
Bollywood's Aishwarya Rai To Star With Hollywood's Heidi Montag In The R-Rated Film "Control, Alt, Delete"
HOLLYWOOD - Tri-Moon Films in association with Candlelight Productions has just announced that filming will soon begin on their latest collaboration Control, Alt, Delete.
The R-rated motion picture which will be directed by Sheboygan Saddlewood wi...
Demi Lovato and Demi Moore To Star as Lindsay and Dina Lohan In "Oodles of Freckles - The Sad Story of Lindsay Lohan"
HOLLYWOOD - Singing sensation Demi Lovato has just announced that she will soon be starring in the Lions Face Films production of Oodles of Freckles - The Sad Story of Lindsay Lohan.
The motion picture is being directed and produced by Charleen Be...
Johnny Depp and Lindsay Lohan To Star In "Chicken of The Sea - The Story of The Captain of The Costa Concordia Francesco Schettino"
HOLLYWOOD - The star of The Pirates of The Caribbean series Johnny Depp has just been cast to portray Italian cruise ship Captain Francesco Schettino AKA Captain Crunch.
The movie titled Chicken of The Sea - The Story of The Captain of The Costa C...
Alexander Skarsgard cast as Norse God Odin in The Twilight Saga Russet Noon
HOLLYWOOD - Alexander Skarsgard as the ultimate epic battle hero? You better believe it! After auditioning countless movie heartthrobs over the past few weeks, casting director and honorable British Lord, Alf Starling, has finally made a decision o...
Michelle Obama Agrees To Appear On 'Dancing With The Stars' And Will Be Paired With Maksim Chmerkovskiy, "The Bad Boy of The Ballroom"
HOLLYWOOD - The host of Dancing With The Stars, Tom Bergeron has just put all of the First Lady rumors to rest.
He has informed the entertainment media that Michelle Obama, 48, wife of the nation's 44th president, Barack Obama has in fact agreed...
CDC Reports 'Failed Paternity Test' Confirms Justin Bieber Still Incapable of Impregnating Women
(Atlanta, GA) - Today, CDC chief virologist Rueben Suresh confirmed the results of additional analyses performed in early January on Justin Bieber's failed paternity test sample. Suresh stated that recent reviews show that the pop star remains fully...
American Idol Kicks Off Season 11 With 10,000 Hopefuls in Savannah, Georgia
SAVANNAH, Georgia - Season 11 of American Idol kicked off in the Southern city of Savannah, Georgia.
The town nestled on the South Carolina border is noted for its delicious tasting peaches, it deliciously lovely Southern belles, and for being the...
Kate Gosselin Discloses The Location and The Reason For Her Very Intimate Tattoo
READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin has really had her ups and downs over the past few years but she says that she is a survivor and she truly believes that 2012 will be her year.
Kate, 36, recently sat down with Taffeta Kixx of iRumors and had...
Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Reveal Their Amazing New Years Resolution
SANTA MONICA, California - One of the happiest young couples in America was spotted walking hand-in-hand on the famed Santa Monica Pier.
Singing sensations Justin Bieber, 17, and his girlfriend Selena Gomez, 19, were seen feeding each other some p...
Ian Somerhalder, Taylor Lautner, and Lady Gaga To Star In "The Attack of The Zombie Emoticons"
NEW ORLEANS - Lady Gaga performed before a sell-out crowd at The Ooh La La Convention Center in the city known as The Big Easy.
After her concert, Lady G spoke in her dressing room with Tequila Tallyho of Left Coast Mirror Magazine.
Miss Tallyh...
Harry Stiles from One Direction confirms age gap in love affair too big
It was confirmed today by One Direction member Harry Styles himself that he concedes his love affair with an older woman might not be the best thing for him.
He said that touring the country with the new woman in his life meant that they had to c...
Ian Somerhalder pulls a Rambo after Nina Dobrev agrees to be the new Bachelorette
Host Chris Harrison announced Thursday during an interview that ABC is launching a new spinoff of the popular dating show, The Bachelorette. Inspired by the success of Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice, ABC producers have decided to try their hand...
Katy Perry Denies That Russell Brand Filed For Divorce Due To Her Alleged Lesbian Affair With Rihanna
LOS ANGELES - Russell Brand was in Tinsel Town visiting his lawyer and taking care of a few odds and ends in his upcoming divorce from Katy Perry.
Meanwhile his soon-to-be-ex-wife Katy Perry was staying in Barbados at the Caribbean mansion of Riha...
Madonna Says That Angelina Jolie Is Too Old To Be Getting Pregnant
NEW YORK CITY - Madonna who has a storied history of getting into feuds with other celebrities has added a new one to her list of feud participants.
The 53-year-old songstress recently remarked that Angelina Jolie, who has just announced her pregn...
Alf Starling Invites Aishwarya Rai To Join Him In Cabo San Lucas
Handsome Worthing Casanova, Alf Starling, is off on his travels again, hoping to hook up with Bollywood superstar Aishwarya Rai for a midweek romp in the Mexican sand.
"Take a tip from the experts", whispered Starling from his private deckchair on...
Russell Brand and Vanessa Bryant Spotted In Brand's 2012 Lamborghini Parked By The Hollywood Sign
HOLLYWOOD - Russell Brand will soon be a free man after filing for divorce from his wife of 14 months singer Katy Perry.
Brand stated that he filed in Los Angeles County on grounds of Irreconcilable Ipso Facto Differences.
Vanessa Bryant will...
Russell Brand Reveals That Katy Perry's Breastfeeding Comment Was The Last Straw
LOS ANGELES - Russell Brand filed for divorce after being married to Katy Perry for only 14 months.
He recently spoke with Pico de Gallo, a reporter with Tittle Tattle Tonight and stated that the main reason why he had decided to file for a divorc...
38DD Busty Singaporean Banker Leaked Laptop Racy Photos Cause Stir in Asia Pacific
A popular blog recently posted topless photos of a busty woman allegedly working in Singapore at a US related bank.
This Singaporean woman has been exposed herself and her "secret double life" on the internet with different sexy lingerie and biki...
Keira Knightley, Emma Watson And Vinnie Jones In Bad Romance Love Triangle
Budding scriptwriter, Chester Swanage St-Ives, today revealed that he is preparing to embark upon a Hollywood trip, in order to promote his latest screenplay, 'The Manderley Romantic Menage a Trois Of Doomed Starcrossed Victorian Lovers High On Crack. (With Horses.)'
Starring Keira Knightley, Emma Watson, and Vinnie Jones, with cameos from Katie Price, Natasha Giggs, Bono out of U2, David Bowie...
Cameron Diaz Talks Openly About Justin Bieber, Her New Boobs, and Those Botox Rumors
BEVERLY HILLS - Cameron Diaz was sitting in her usual chair at The Haven of Hair Salon on Rodeo Drive where she had gone in for her monthly black root touch up.
The starlet's longtime hair stylist FuFi Fondue, noted hair stylist to the stars, rema...
Kristen Stewart to Shoot Hot Steamy Scene with Taylor Lautner in Post Breaking Dawn Film
Twilight Saga actors Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner are not very happy about their movie Breaking Dawn getting snubbed this film award season, so they've vowed to make a comeback after their Twilight contract is up.
"I don't understand what...
A Heartbroken Kate Gosselin Begs Steven Tyler To Take Her Back
READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin the star of two cancelled reality shows Jon and Kate Plus 8 and Kate Plus 8, says that having had those two shows cancelled was nowhere near as hurtful as having Steven Tyler break up with her.
Gosselin sat in...
Jennifer Aniston Agrees To Appear In PlayGuy For $1.2 Million
CHICAGO - Jennifer Aniston really made quite an impression as the brunette dentist in her role as Dr. Julia Harris, D.D.S. in the 2011 hit motion picture Horrible Bosses.
Aniston certainly shot down the old adage that 'blondes have more fun,' as s...
Charlie Sheen Seen Trying To Hit On Kobe's Soon-To-Be-Ex-Wife, Vanessa "The $75 Million Woman" Bryant
HOLLYWOOD - Charlie Sheen alias "The Space Cadet" wasted no time as he was seen trying to hit on Vanessa Bryant at a Pizza Doll Restaurant located near Sunset and Vine.
Charlie was wearing an NFL New York Giants baseball cap and a New England Patr...
Arsenal To Sign Manchester United Legend Eric Cantona
In keeping with their current policy of signing Premier League legends, Arsenal appear set to top the Thierry Henry coup by signing Manchester United legend, Eric Cantona.
A club spokesman said that luring the greatest ever French footballer out o...
Frenchmen's AAA Romance Rating Downgraded To C-
Paris -- The EU Division of Standard & Poor's has notched down France's world-leading AAA Romance Rating, relegating the "land of love" to the bottom of the hotness heap when it comes to "lust, thrust, and overall mojo."
"France's sexual score...
Did Iranian Rock Sink The Costa Concordia?
In response to US threats to impose sanctions on Iran over it's nuclear program it's been revealed that Iran has been attempting to block the Straits of Hormuz to oil tankers by rolling enormous rocks into the waters.
"We've blasted about thirty...
Transfer Window: Lionel Messi joins Leyton Orient on two month loan
In an amazing turn of events today, Leyton Orient pulled off the transfer coup of the January window and possibly the millenium when O's chairman Barry Hearn announced to a packed to the rafters press conference in the club's Olympic suite that newl...
Political Facebook - Mitt Romney and Ron Paul
Political Facebook
Mitt Romney: Hi Ron, well it's been quite a week huh? With Jon Huntsman and Rick Perry dropping out that now leaves only four of us in the GOP presidential race.
2:11 p.m.
Ron Paul: Yes it does Mitt old boy. But I really have a feeling that old slick Rick Santorum will be dropping out pretty soon.
2:16 p.m.
Mitt Romney: What makes you say that?
2:21 p.m.
Ron Paul:...
Mario Balotelli Buys A Mobility Scooter
Crackpot Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli has just accepted delivery of a top of the range mobility scooter which he says he'll use to do the odd spot of shopping at Manchester's Trafford Centre, and to transport him from the dressing rooms at...
Pippa Middleton was to have been the face of the PIP breast implant, bwahaha...
London - The ad campaign for the Poly Implant Prothese mammary jellies has gone on the wobble after Pippa Middleton flip-flopped over contractual terms.
Secret organic ingredients thought to be Medusa jellyfish hybrids, have been hit hard by EU au...
Ron Paul Says If Newt Gingrich Doesn't Stop Attacking Him He Will Open Up A Can of 'Whup Ass' On Him
LAKE JACKSON, Texas - Ron Paul was back home taking it easy since he said that he does not like to travel on Friday the 13th.
He sat barbecuing baby back ribs in his backyard and chatting with Mistletoe Bulova, a reporter with the political public...
Social Media Halted; Few Users Are Reading Contributions of Others
The social media stoppage may not be forever; in fact, it will probably last only a few weeks.
But starting next Wednesday -- for a limited time -- there will be NO social media whatsoever. Al Gore, founder of the Internet, made the announcement...
Ten Comments from Experts about the Possible Ending of the World in 2012
What's the skinny on this scary prediction? Here's a sampling of comments:
Martha Stewart: "Be prepared. Pack yourself some nice take-out meals that travel REALLY well."
Queen Elizabeth II: "I'm not leaving without my tiara, my royal robes, and my purse."
Entrepreneur Donald Trump: "I STILL may run for president."
Twitter executive: "Send some good-bye tweets, but remembe...
The Reason Why Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Want To Adopt X-Factor's Rachel Crow and Drew Ryniewicz
NEW YORK CITY - Brad Pitt was all smiles as he won the Best Actor Award at the 77th New York Film Critics Circle Award Gala for his portrayal of Billy Beane in the baseball film Moneyball.
Pitt who was hobbling and walking with the aid of a $7,298...
Vampire Diaries off the air until February due to Ian Somerhalder's disappearance, Nina Dobrev announces
ATLANTA - As the manhunt for actor Ian Somerhalder continues up in the North Georgia mountains, Vampire Diaries producers take the show off the air until February 2012. Reporters and paparazzi cornered damsel in distress extraordinaire, Nina Dobrev,...
Brad Pitt Is Denying That His Hurt Leg Is A Result of A Karate Kick From Angelina Jolie
NEW YORK CITY - Brad Pitt and his partner Angelina Jolie recently arrived in the Big Apple where they attended the 77th New York Film Critics Circle Award Gala.
Pitt won the award for best actor for his portrayal of Billy Beane in the baseball mov...
Dora Cattermole Invites Robert Pattinson For Nookie In Cabo San Lucas
Worthing strumpet, Dora Cattermole, the on-off squeeze of Casanova, Alf Starling, has asked vampire actor, Robert Pattinson, to join her for a weekend knees-up and non-stop 24 hour "Hip-Bingo" in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
"I've always believed me an...
Nina Dobrev, Ian Somerhalder, and Paul Wesley Return For Season 3 on The Vampire Diaries
HOLLYWOOD - The Vampire Diaries kicked off season number three with a real bang as Alaric (Matt Davis) launched a bottle rocket that almost hit Caroline (Candice Accola) on her cowlick and landed on a hay pile which quickly started a fire that burned...
Adele confirmed for Queens Diamond Jubilee, special builders engaged
It was confirmed today that popular singer Adele will indeed be headlining at the pop concert for H M the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations from the roof of the Royal Palace.
Specialist builders are being brought in to Buckingham Palace to stre...
The Unbelievable Video of Ex-Penn State Football Coach Jerry Sandusky At The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo In Tarzana
TARZANA - An undercover private investigator has uncovered what he calls evidence that is not going to help the case of Jerry Sandusky, the former coach of the Nittany Lions of Penn State.
The investigator who would not reveal his name for reasons...
Cameron denies eating roast bald eagle with King Abdullah in Saudi desert feast
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia - "That's total and utter hogwash," the PM's aide told reporters this evening, "besides, it wasn't bald per se, just slightly thinning."
"It's the Bedu equivalent of the Thanksgiving turkey," Our-Man-In-Riyadh's calorie counte...
Kop To Sing 'You'll Never Walk Alone' In Swahili In Order To Refute Racism Allegations
Sources on Merseyside are reporting that Liverpool Football Club, in order to save face over the Luis Suarez racism allegations, and the club's subsequent stand in support of the striker, have distributed the lyrics of 'You'll Never Walk Alone' in Sw...
Costa Concordia will need exorcism Pope warns salvage company
Rome - Unhexing the stricken pleasure cruiser requires meticulous Bell, Book & Candle stuff the Pope has warned ahead of new attempts to refloat the boat.
Its Friday the 13th sinking on the Russian Orthodox calendar's New Year's Eve means devi...
Heidi Klum Said She Told Her Husband Seal To Attend Anger Management Classes Or Kiss Her Fantabulous Body Bye-Bye
SANTA MONICA - Heidi Klum took her four kids to the world-famous Santa Monica Pier to buy them some of their unique rainbow-colored cotton candy.
While on the pier she was approached by a reporter who asked her if she was actually going through wi...
Irish Homeowners Can Now Legally Shoot Intruders; Hospitality Urged
The legal ruling in Ireland granting this right has gotten mixed reviews. Some think of it as a blessing; others, as a curse.
But both sides are united in the belief that good old Irish hospitality should prevail, even in the case of a home inv...
X-Factor's Simon Cowell Admits He's Thinking About Replacing Nicole Scherzinger With Cheryl Cole
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Word on the streets of LaLaLand is that the X-Factor mogul and judge Simon Cowell is contemplating making a big change for next season.
According to iRumors Cowell AKA "The Prince of Put Downs" stated that he has received lots of...
QPR to sign Kaxo Mpewilmu.
Sky Sports understands that QPR are in talks with Kaxo Mpewilmu.
The 22 year old Belgian born Gambian wonderkid is currently plying his trade with FC Snagov in the Romanian 2nd tier.
Mark Hughes has a reported £30 million warchest, and a high s...
Stricken Mars probe Phobos-Grunt 'stalking Marianne Faithfull'
London - She has always vehemently denied being caught in flagrente with Mick Jagger in an alleged Mars Bar incident.
This weekend Marianne's holed up in her leafy Chelsea pad as reports of the Phobos-Grunt's erotic - er...erratic! - orbit suggest...
Arsene Wenger hits back in war of words with President of Rwanda
Arsene Wenger has faced a barrage of criticism for Arsenal's poor performances in 2012 from fans and journalists alike, but now people in high places want him out. Paul Kagame, president of Rwanda, has called on the long-time Arsenal manager to give...
Portsmouth FC players sent into town with begging bowls!
The players of Portsmouth FC, one of the oldest football clubs in the UK, have had their afternoon training sessions cancelled because the chairman has demanded that players go out and beg for their money.
Portsmouth owe a substantial amount to th...
Los Angeles Lakers Player Luke Walton Appears To Be Heading To The Washington Wizards
LOS ANGELES - In a move that many Los Angeles Laker fans knew was coming, Sports Territory Magazine is reporting that the Lakers may be trading the 31-year-old, 6-foot-8-inch Luke Walton.
The Lakers management stated that they are currently in ta...
Betty White Says That If Ron Paul Wasn't Married, She'd Be All Over Him Like Stripes on A Zebra!
BEVERLY HILLS - Betty White just recently celebrated her 90th birthday and the feisty Hollywood gal does not show any signs of slowing down.
She is seriously considering an offer to appear in next season's edition of Dancing With The Stars as well...
Ron Paul Says He Has Some Interesting Photos That Will Prevent Mitt Romney From Winning The GOP Presidential Nomination
PAWTUCKET, Rhode Island - Ron Paul still excited from placing second in the New Hampshire Caucus was all smiles as he celebrated with his wife and campaign team at the local Princess Pawtucket Pizza Parlor.
As Ron sat at a booth with his wife of 5...
Breast Implants demand removal of Katie Price
Perfectly intact silicon breast implants Pinky & Perky have called to be 'removed as a matter of urgency' from the chest of TV celebrity and model Katie Price.
A spokeswoman for the bags said that their demands followed medical reports that Pr...
Costa Concordia captain worried about fresh claims
The captain of the ill fated Russian spy ship the Costa Concordia (ogromnyĭ korablʹ) faces fresh allegations as divers find no evidence of any trapped Irish immigrants below decks.
The investigating authority said in a statement released yesterday...
Kanye West and X-Factor's Astro To Host New Reality Show Called 'So You Think You Can Rap?"
HOLLYWOOD - The newly formed Bro Channel has just announced that it will be premiering the reality show So You Think You Can Rap? on Friday the 13.
A spokesperson for the BC stated that the new music show will be hosted by Kanye West and 15-year-o...
Russell Brand Blames 2012 Mayan Apocalypse for Katy Perry Divorce
A horse is a horse of course of course and nobody can talk to a horse of course, go right to the source and ask the horse, He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse, He's always on a steady course, Talk to Mr. Ed!
According to Judd Apatow prod...
Transfer Window: Villas-Boas denies Chelsea will sell Torres in January
Chelsea manager Andre Villa-Boas has denied the club will sell £50million flop striker Fernando Torres in the January transfer window.
"It's an ABSOLUTE LIE" AVB grumbled into a microphone shoved into his face after another failure to pick up thre...
Coming and Going? - L.A. Porn Merchants Prepare To Withdraw Troops If Local Condom Occupy Plan Officially Takes Hold Of Their Collective You Know Whats
LOS ANGELES - Fearing that a firmer than usual enforcement of any existing thought to be already too rigid laws requiring the constant use of condoms on all Los Angeles-based adult film sets might seriously penetrate what they've come to expect as th...
Vampire Robert Pattinson Confesses To Goth-Girl Sybilla He Is Also Alf Starling
SPOOKSVILLE: Goth Maiden Lady Sybilla awoke this morning, her naked body still trembling from the thrills of the night before. Beside her lay world famous lady-magnet, vampire and altogether perfect specimen of manhood, Robert Pattinson. His...
Ian Somerhalder Goes Green All The Way!
The multi-ubiquitous heartthrob and runaway star of TVD spoke recently with the Green Giant of Le Sueur, Minnesota. Professing his desire for increased education of all things green, the founder of the ISF wished to convey his appreciation for the G...
Rich, spoiled person stuns world by doing something selfish
Elin Nordegren, the ex wife of Tiger Woods sent shock waves through the world when she destroyed her 12 million dollar home recently.
A spokesman for Woods said he "found it hard to believe that a privileged and obscenely wealthy young woman wi...
Marine UFO seen 'taunting' Costa Concordia minutes before fatal prang
Italy - Some alien marine artefucts were spotted bobbing in the waters amid reports an Unidentified Submerged Object may have goaded the stricken cruiser onto Giglio's uncharted rocks.
"Such craft are notorious for luring wayward vessels," an alie...
Angelina Jolie Furious As Brad Pitt Spotted At A Topless Bar
NEW YORK CITY - It is really no secret that the Brad Pitt - Angelina Jolie relationship has had more ups and downs than the Cyclone Roller Coaster at Astroland in Brooklyn.
During their six years together the couple dubbed Brangelina have snickere...
Rosie 47 stitches up Harry Redknapp.
Harry Redknapp was twitching like a pigeon today after it was revealed in court that his dog had opened a secret bank account in Monaco.
The jury was told how the Old Bill had been following the trail of 'Arry's dog, who was operating under the mo...
Rihanna May Be Entering A Rehab Clinic
ATLANTA - Twenty-three-year-old Rihanna is starting to worry a lot of her family, close friends, and band members.
The Barbados beauty recently finished her Louder Than Loud Concert Tour and the high energy really took a toll on her.
A close un...
The Golden Globes Awards Show: The Madonna - Elton John Feud Erupts Like Mt. Vesuvius
BEVERLY HILLS - The 69th Annual Golden Globes Awards Show was hosted by a very subdued Ricky Gervais.
The man who many refer to as "The Count of Cruelty" was not the same Ricky Gervais who resembled a den of rattlesnakes at last years Golden Globe...
Tiger Woods Visits Australian Open to See Maria Sharapova Grunt
Finishing his negotiations with Newt Gingrich over whether or not Woods might be a spokesman for Newt's moral character, Woods and his entourage headed to the Australian Open tennis tournament to witness Maria Sharapova's grunts first hand.
"There...
Angelina Jolie Announces That She Is Pregnant - Brad Pitt Says He Will Not Be Dumping Her After All
PROVENCE, France - Angelina Jolie has just learned that she and her partner of seven years Brad Pitt will soon be having their seventh child.
Jolie, 36, had recently been having some major bouts with intestinal rumblings as they call it in New Jer...
Facebook unveils 60 new ways to waste time under latest expansion plan
Facebook is adding a series of new applications to let users share such things as photos, travel or fashion.
The online social network firm unveiled more than 60 new ways to waste time on Facebook. The company, tipped for a $100bn initial public o...
2012 Mayan Prophecy: The End Of The World - A 'How To Survive' Guide
It's a fact.
The world is ending this year, or so say the experts who are pretending they can read the ancient texts of the Mayan people, that long ago vanished Mesoamerican tribe.
So, I thought it would be prudent to cover a few final points before the destruction of mankind. And if I can, help you survive it.
This is my 'How To' guide in how to survive the apocalypse.
Hold on tight,...
"Vampire Diaries Gothic Romance" - Starring Lady Sybilla & Alf Starling - With Ian Somerhalder & Robert Pattinson
The wind was howling over Cragston Moor as midnight approached and Lady Sybilla finally galloped into the winding mud-splattered driveway that would eventually lead her another mile uphill to the haunted manor known locally as Rochester Heights.
A passionate, knee-tremblingly exquisite, red-blooded 21 year old heiress in a transcendental dream. Going she knew not where - to meet, she knew n...
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Scholes made a successful return to the United team after...
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Worthing man-eater, Dora Cattermole, has taught One Direction brat, Harry Styles, a lesson in love he'll never forget.
Ms Cattermole, the opera singing on-off squeeze of Casanova, Alf Starling, invited Styles for three days of solid 'Hip Bingo' in...
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