Spoof news stories from 2012
There have been 1,544 spoof news stories published in 2012. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to browse the spoof news archives.
China Sending Men to the Moon to Build a Lunar iPad Factory
Beijing -- China has revealed the purpose of its manned missions to the moon. The Chinese want to construct their next electronics assembly plant there as the first step toward using the moon as a manufacturing zone.
"It's no secret that our count...
'CSI: Kardashian' Puts the Madcap Back into Murder
Hollywood, California - CBS has launched a fourth version of its Crime Scene Investigation series, but with a twist. This time, the show plays forensics for fun, with members of America's least talented but most publicized showbiz family filling the...
It's Official! X-Factor's Rachel Crow and Drew Ryniewicz To Tour With Selena Gomez And Demi Lovato
HOLLYWOOD - A spokesperson for Selena Gomez has just announced an upcoming concert tour that will feature Gomez, Demi Lovato, and two of this year's youngest X-Factor contestants Rachel Crow, 13, and Drew Ryniewicz, 14.
The 37-city tour is being p...
Demi Lovato Reveals She Has Quite a Crush On Zac Efron
BEVERLY HILLS - Demi Lovato was recently talking to her hair stylist FuFi Fondue as she sat in his Haven of Hair Salon getting her hair trimmed.
She told Fondue that over the Christmas holidays she and her little sister had gone to see the new mov...
Kate Gosselin Discloses The Location and The Reason For Her Very Intimate Tattoo
READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin has really had her ups and downs over the past few years but she says that she is a survivor and she truly believes that 2012 will be her year.
Kate, 36, recently sat down with Taffeta Kixx of iRumors and had...
Kaley Cuoco to quit Big Bang for physics
It was the news that went off like an thermonuclear device around Hollywood.
Kaley Cuoco, actress who plays Penny on the hit sitcom The Big Bang Theory has announced her intention to quit the show at the end of it's current season.
It is the re...
Katy Perry Denies That Russell Brand Filed For Divorce Due To Her Alleged Lesbian Affair With Rihanna
LOS ANGELES - Russell Brand was in Tinsel Town visiting his lawyer and taking care of a few odds and ends in his upcoming divorce from Katy Perry.
Meanwhile his soon-to-be-ex-wife Katy Perry was staying in Barbados at the Caribbean mansion of Riha...
Russell Brand Reveals That Katy Perry's Breastfeeding Comment Was The Last Straw
LOS ANGELES - Russell Brand filed for divorce after being married to Katy Perry for only 14 months.
He recently spoke with Pico de Gallo, a reporter with Tittle Tattle Tonight and stated that the main reason why he had decided to file for a divorc...
Arsenal To Sign Manchester United Legend Eric Cantona
In keeping with their current policy of signing Premier League legends, Arsenal appear set to top the Thierry Henry coup by signing Manchester United legend, Eric Cantona.
A club spokesman said that luring the greatest ever French footballer out o...
Jennifer Aniston Agrees To Appear In PlayGuy For $1.2 Million
CHICAGO - Jennifer Aniston really made quite an impression as the brunette dentist in her role as Dr. Julia Harris, D.D.S. in the 2011 hit motion picture Horrible Bosses.
Aniston certainly shot down the old adage that 'blondes have more fun,' as s...
The Unbelievable Video of Ex-Penn State Football Coach Jerry Sandusky At The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo In Tarzana
TARZANA - An undercover private investigator has uncovered what he calls evidence that is not going to help the case of Jerry Sandusky, the former coach of the Nittany Lions of Penn State.
The investigator who would not reveal his name for reasons...
Adele confirmed for Queens Diamond Jubilee, special builders engaged
It was confirmed today that popular singer Adele will indeed be headlining at the pop concert for H M the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations from the roof of the Royal Palace.
Specialist builders are being brought in to Buckingham Palace to stre...
Breast Implants demand removal of Katie Price
Perfectly intact silicon breast transplants Pinky & Perky have called to be 'removed as a matter of urgency' from the chest of TV celebrity and model Katie Price.
A spokeswoman for the silicon bags said that their demands followed medical repo...
After Seeing Kelly Clarkson's Album Sales Shoot Up 442% After She Endorses Ron Paul, Kanye West Decides To Endorse Michele Bachmann
DALLAS - Kelly Clarkson says that she is absolutely shocked at the fantastic surge in record sales after she announced that she would vote for Ron Paul for president.
The Texas native said that at first she was concerned because a lot of haters to...
Donald Trump To Acquire Central Park And Build The World's Largest Mall
MANHATTAN - Word filtering out of Trump Towers is that billionaire Donald Trump is finalizing plans to purchase New York City's world famous Central Park.
The 843-acre park which was built in 1857, served as a staging area during the Civil War for...
X-Factor's Simon Cowell Admits He's Thinking About Replacing Nicole Scherzinger With Cheryl Cole
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Word on the streets of LaLaLand is that the X-Factor mogul and judge Simon Cowell is contemplating making a big change for next season.
According to iRumors Cowell AKA "The Prince of Put Downs" stated that he has received lots of...
Rumours of 'cracks' in the royal marriage after Kate hears Russel Brand single again
Sometimes even the life of a princess is not enough for some girls, and a source close to Wills and Kate confirmed that the ex Miss Middleton's 'heart skipped a beat' when she heard that wild child and botherer of pensioners' answerphones, Russel Bra...
Russell Brand Blames 2012 Mayan Apocalypse for Katy Perry Divorce
A horse is a horse of course of course and nobody can talk to a horse of course, go right to the source and ask the horse, He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse, He's always on a steady course, Talk to Mr. Ed!
According to Judd Apatow prod...
Benedict Cumberbatch schmoozed to play Pentagon hacker Gary McKinnon
London - Studio bosses are desperate to secure the services of the Sherlock star whose uncanny facial resemblance makes him a dead ringer for Gary McKinnon.
Benedict Cumberbatch is being headhunted to play the controversial Pentagon hacker in a ne...
The Real Reason Why Russell Brand Filed For Divorce From Katy Perry
CORNWALL, England - Russell Brand was spotted in Cornwall, England sans his wedding ring and sans his wife Katy Perry.
He was approached by a reporter for Tickety Boo News Neville Twickenbuck and asked where Katy was.
Brand, 37, smiled as he tu...
Bieber and Gaga to star in Gone with the Wind remake
News that Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga are set to take on the roles made famous by Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh spread through Hollywood almost as quickly as news of the Madoff ponzi-scheme collapse earlier today.
United Artists called a press conf...
RuPaul Wins Iowa Caucus
Ames, IA-- Drag-queen RuPaul has won the Iowa Caucus in one of the greatest upsets in political history! The colorful gender bender has never visited Iowa and wasn't even on the ballot until yesterday.
"I thought I was voting for Ron Paul!" said...
Margaret Thatcher Stars As Meryl Streep In 'The Iron Airhead'
Hollywood, CA-- Dame Margaret Thatcher arrived in Los Angeles last night for the premiere of her new movie 'The Iron Airhead.' The movie is a biography of actress Meryl Streep. Mrs. Thatcher stars as Ms. Streep, and could win an Oscar for her perfo...
Nina Dobrev, Ian Somerhalder, and Paul Wesley Return For Season 3 on The Vampire Diaries
HOLLYWOOD - The Vampire Diaries kicked off season number three with a real bang as Alaric (Matt Davis) launched a bottle rocket that almost hit Caroline (Candice Accola) on her cowlick and landed on a hay pile which quickly started a fire that burned...
The New York Giants Eliminate The Dallas Cowboys From The NFL Playoffs - Jerry Jones Blames It On The Jessica Simpson Voodoo Curse
NEW YORK CITY - Eli Manning and his New York Giants defeated the Dallas Cowboys 31 to 14 dashing the Cowboys hopes of making it to the NFL playoffs once again.
And the defeat left many of the Dallas fans shaking their collective heads and wonderin...
Sandringham cops search for 'massive suitcase' amid Shergar tip-off
Norfolk - Detectives probing the unexplained death of a woman found on the Sandringham estate's pheasant potting range have been tipped the wink about another unexplained RIP.
It's said to be 'so astonishing' that ground penetrating radar may now...
Kim Jung Un Vows To Lower Streets In North Korea: Says "Built Too Close To His Ass"
PYONGYANG - The first act of business by newly appointed North Korea dictator Kim Jung Un is that all streets and sidewalks in this forlorn country be lowered 12 inches.
Although appearing taller because of his penchant for wearing high-heeled A...
David Cameron issues call for three days of official mourning following Pat Butcher's death
As the nation mourns the passing of Pat Butcher in EastEnders, Prime Minster David Cameron has decided that there will now be three days of official mourning.
Speaking from the balcony of No 10 Downing Street, an injured Prime Minister (who fell o...
Angelina Jolie Announces That She Is Pregnant - Brad Pitt Says He Will Not Be Dumping Her After All
PROVENCE, France - Angelina Jolie has just learned that she and her partner of seven years Brad Pitt will soon be having their seventh child.
Jolie, 36, had recently been having some major bouts with intestinal rumblings as they call it in New Jer...
Tiger Woods "Titanium Tiger" Sternum Implants Approved By World Golf Rules Committee
NEW YORK - In a joint statement from St. Andrews and USGA Headquarters in New Jersey, the two governing bodies who serve as primary stewards of the rules of golf, announced today that "Titanium Tiger" sternum implants have been approved for immediate...
John Terry's face being used on Indian cigarette packets
Representatives of John Terry are taking legal advice after an image resembling the footballer appeared on cigarette packs in India.
The photograph of a blurred head and pale torso appears above the words SMOKING CIGARETTES CAN LEAD TO BEING CAPTA...
Prince Philip denies shooting commoner
Following the discovery of a dead body on their Sandringham estate, the Royal Family has categorically denied that the body is that of a member of the public who was shot by Prince Philip.
The Prince, who had spent Christmas in hospital followin...
The Stunningly Sexy Cat Deeley Host of 'So You Think You Can Dance' Denies That She Is One of Kobe Bryant's "105" Lovers
LOS ANGELES - Cat Deeley, the host of the reality show So You Think You Can Dance was recently spotted having a nice quiet dinner at The Gunfight At The OK Corral Steakhouse in Beverly Hills.
The 5-foot-9-inch tall reality show host was asked by F...
Former IMF chief to test breast implants
Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the former International Monetary Fund (IMF) leader, and serial sex-pest, has volunteered to do testing of silicone breast implants.
"When I heard that the French company PIP was selling sub-standard prosthetics to the worl...
"Expect Flying Saucer Attack If I Lose Iowa!" Promises Newt Gingrich
Ames, Iowa-- Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich says there will be trouble if he doesn't win the Iowa caucus. The strange ex-congressman from Georgia was spotted yesterday walking down the street by himself, and having a long conversati...
Fijian Dictator wants to become King
Commodore Voreqe "Frank" Bainimarama, supreme leader and overlord of the South Pacific island nation of Fiji, has indicated that he is unhappy with his hands-on role of governing the popular tourist destination.
"When I took charge in glorious hon...
Whales mimic stricken vessel
In an unusual display of solidarity for it's stricken protectors, a small gam of whales have formed a protective circle around the a stricken Sea Shepherd Conservation Society (SSCS) vessel. The MV Brigitte Bardot was hit by a rogue wave in the Sout...
Kim Jong Un Plays with Dead Father So All Know He's Real
AP - Rumors recently surfaced that the new North Korean Dictator, Kim Jong Un, has secretly removed his father's body and has been playing with him nightly and signing lullabies. Jong Un's palace forces have kept the secret since Kim Jon Il's death;...
Hugo Chavez Claims CIA gave Him Hemorrhoids
The US has rejected comments by Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, in which he questioned whether the US might be responsible for widespread hemorrhoids affecting Latin American leaders.
State Department spokeswoman Percy Hardwick called the hemor...
CERN Press Office Confirm Large Haldron Collider Will Shut Down 21 December 2012 For Maintenance
CERN today announced that the LHC will run through to 21 December 2012 after a short technical stop at the end of 2011. The beam energy for 2012 will be 8.5 TeV, the maximum possible and this maximum output will be reached on the 21 December 2012, be...
Romney Compares Obama to Kim Jong-il: "wacky, elusive and probably dead"
Mitt "Madman" Romney flung the gauntlet at President Obama yesterday, comparing him to dead North Korean cartoon character Kim Jong-il II.
"I've been looking at some video clips on YouTube of President Obama, then supermodel Obama, traipsing thro...
Michele Bachmann Drops Out of The GOP Race and Says That The Alleged Matt Damon Sex Tapes Were Not The Reason
DES MOINES, Iowa - After being on the political campaign trail for 205 days and 205 nights Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann has announced that she is suspending her GOP presidential run.
Bachmann speaking before a crowd estimated to be 91...
Michelle Bachmann: Kim Jong Un Will Not Make A Good Presidential Candidate
In response to Kim Jong Un's sudden surge in the Iowa Causus polls, Michele Bachmann has come out swinging against the North Korean.
"I don't believe than Mr. Un will make a good Republican presidential candidate," she declared at her daily noon...
Relaxed Lottery Winner Accused of Time Slip
The winner of £2.5M in last week's UK Lottery has not yet been paid out owing to suspicious irregularities. The winning ticket held by Hamish MacFly, 19, of Reading was bought legitimately just two days prior to the draw and correctly named all six...
Donald Trump Purchases New Hampshire: Calls Off Debate And Election Primary
NEW YORK - Eccentric billionaire Don Trump, disgusted with the outcome of the Iowa caucus and the quality of the GOP candidates currently contesting for the opportunity to run against President Barack Obama, announced today that he had closed escrow...
France Celebrates New Year 5 Hours Late In Shed Explosion Drama
France had an unexpected New Year's firework display, when Spoof writer, Lynton's garden shed unexpectedly exploded, at 05:30 am GMT on New Year's day.
The event came as a bit of a bonus for gay Paree, which basically didn't appear to do a whole l...
Iowan Eight "Mitt Romney voters" wake up with hangovers and recant - "He's a Pratt!" hits the morning papers
Mitt Romney's Mormon Holy Quest to lock down the 2012 Republican presidential nomination was sharply undercut this morning when eight Iowans who had apparently participated in caucus while under the influence of various dance club substances woke up...
Alien remains found on Queen's Sandringham estate
Norfolk - A Roswell-style security blackout is in force following the grim discovery under some 'Bushes' on the Norfolk estate.
Police cordoned off a section of woodland at Anmer amid reports an 'alien stowaway' had been dumped from a low-flying c...
The Holy Grail of standing stone circles found as NASA spacecraft captures lunar Stonehenge image
Space - Dismissed in 1959 by the USSR Luna 3 probe as a pile of inconsequential volcanic trash a 3,000ft diameter standing stone formation has been captured on camera by NASA's latest mission.
Stunning pictures from the Grail-A spacecraft reveal a...
Santorum Celebrates Caucus Win with 2 Week Old Chicken Fetus
Rick Santorum, gitty from last night's Caucus win in Iowa asks a local farmer to provide him a chicken fetus to sing songs to and cuddle over night in hotel room.
J.R. McDonald, 92 yrs old Northern Iowa farmer, was taken aback at first when Rick m...
Cowboys And Aliens And Politicians At The Iowa Caucus
It is difficult to distinguish between the cowboys and politicians, but the aliens are clearly set apart. When a politician can't remember three out of three departments he wants to eliminate once he is elected president, his mind has definitely been...
Kerry Katona spitting nails at New Years Honours snub
A glaring omission from this years New Years Honours list has seen tv celebrity/former 'singer' and media ho Kerry Katona express her disbelief yesterday.
Speaking from the star studded gala that closed the 'Save a Chav for Crimbo' charity campaig...
LiLo 'Bares All' For 'Playtime'
Hug Halfner believes Lindsay Lohand's Marilyn Monroe - themed Playtime pictoral will knock the new issue right off the shelf - a keepsake for the Lil-Lo desperadoes proving some people just cant get enough of the 'Some Like It Hot' look-a-like maide...
Pressure Mounts on Celtics Rookie to Enter Hall of Fame
Greg Stiemsma was relatively unknown, the token blond guy at the end of the bench. Then, something funny happened on the way to the playoffs.
The tall guy who seemed to be a joke. He was ready to be shipped out of town as soon as GM Danny Ainge ga...
South Korea to give up internet if North abandons nuclear program
In a move that has shocked the nation, the president of South Korea, Lee Myung-bak has announced that should the North Koreans comply with United Nations resolutions and abandon it's nuclear program, South Korea will give up the internet.
South Ko...
Dora Cattermole Throws Wobbly About Breast Implants And Sees Off Jeremy Paxman In Wake Of 'Shovel-Face' Attack On Alf Starling
Worthing Page 3 man-magnet, 84 year old Dora Cattermole, snubbed Newsnight presenter Jeremy Paxman today after he put on rubber gloves, unclipped her favourite lace bra and attempted to liberate her award winning silicone assets for the benefit of a...
Newt Gingrich Requests Saint Anselm Debate Be Done In Nude To Offset Romney's Mormon Lucky Underwear
Manchester, New Hampshire - Newt Gingrich, shaken by his fourth place finish in the Iowa Caucus, requested that all of the candidates appearing Saturday night at Saint Anselms appear sans clothing so that Mitt Romney would not gain an unfair advantag...
Mitt Romney spending money on ads, not jobs
Washington--Mitt Romney loves money and the power that money brings, but he doesn't feel guilty about the amount of money he is spending to buy his ticket to the White House.
"I understand we could use a few of the millions of dollars to put Amer...
David Walliams and Alesha Dixon named as 'Britains Got Talent' judges
ITV today announced the new judges line-up for 2012 and how to apply to appear on the show.
Out go Michelle Milkytyre and Darius Hassletoff replaced by Bitty Britain star David Walliams and Strictly Corn Dancing judge Alesha Dixon. Simon Cowell wi...
Local Man To Act As Intermediary In Shovel Faced Woman Marital Dispute
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, a local gerbil breeder, today revealed that he has been approached to act as an intermediary between a man who twatted his wife in the face with a shovel, and the woman, who has been identified by media sources as Shove...
iPhone usage triggers impotence
In a recently released study from the internationally renowned male sexual dysfunction R and D thinktank "Get it up!", male iPhone users are 37% more likely to suffer impotence than other smartphone users.
"We have been conducted this study for so...
Taliban to create version of The Office.
The Taliban have won a bid for the rights to develop their own unique take of the hit British television show The Office. Analysts are hailing the move to create an Afghan based version of 'The Office' as a step back from the Taliban's previous refu...
After Announcing That She Has Not Done 'The Horizontal Hokey Pokey' In Two Years, Charlize Theron Has Received Thousands and Thousands of Offers
TARZANA - Noted film star Charlize Theron was recently spotted visiting The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo in Tarzana.
The very attractive actress says that she loves spending time at the zoo because it brings back childhood memories of when she wa...
BBC replace Football League Show with Hackney Marshes 'kickabout'
The BBC Football League Show featuring all the goals from the championship, league one and league two has been axed by the BBC over ongoing budget cuts to the corporation, which led to the Christmas and New Year editions being cancelled.
"HELLO TO...
Manchester United Defeat By Blackburn Rovers - Authorities Promise Action
Football authorities in England are promising to take decisive action to prevent further incidents like Manchester United's home defeat by Blackburn Rovers yesterday.
The move follows public reaction to the match on United manager Sir Alex Ferguso...
Pub Beer To Cost You £24.80p From Today!
The pub price for a pint of beer is to go up - again. Brewers say the increase, of around 10p a pint, is necessary because poor harvests have forced up the cost of malting barley. The price hike will bring the average price of a pint to £3.10p from t...
Local Man Voluntarily Removes Own Testicles Before Committing To Relationship
Kansas City - A local man here manipulated his own mind with guilt-trips until reaching the decision to remove his own testicles before committing himself to a relationship.
40 year-old Jack Sloan reported to officials that he had used a plastic b...
Kanye West Develops Economic Recovery Plan for Rick Santorum
Soon after West's announcement for the creation of a multi-national, multi-divisional think tank, manufacturing and service based organization, Rick Santorum recruited West to be his chief economic advisor.
The DONDA Company was conceived by Kanye...
BBC omits King George V's euthanasia jab in latest royal cover-up
London - The lethal cocaine/heroin cocktail was injected directly into the dying King's jugular by royal physicians working the late shift.
Last night the Beeb's King George and Queen Mary: the Royals Who Rescued the Monarchy hatchet job suffered...
Justin Timberlake Won't Bring the Sexy to Elton John Role
Justin Timberlake has agreed to play the iconic Sir Elton John in an upcoming movie about John's life, but will not be allowed to apply his natural talent for suggestive body movement in the role.
Timberlake was warned by producers before film con...
Michele Bachmann quits presidential race because she has no time for her botox injections!
US presidential candidate for the Republican party, Michele Bachmann, has announced she is pulling out of the race, but not because she had a bum result in Des Moines, Iowa. She's pulling out because she fears the presidential race is too intensive a...
Michele Bachmann Returns to Minnesota after God says "No More"...don't cha know...
Sioux Iowa - Republican presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann has suspended her campaign for the White House after her dismal, sixth place finish in Tuesday night's caucuses.
"I have heard the word of the Lord and he has told me to stand aside,"...
Mayor Bloomberg Announces That All Yellow New York City Cabs Will Be Painted Green
NEW YORK CITY - Mayor Bloomberg has finally announced what up until now had only been a rumor and that is that effective January 15, 2012, every yellow taxi-cab in the five New York City boroughs will be pained green.
The mayor informed a crowd of...
Paper And Ink Factory Explosion Creates Entire Dictionary By Accident: "See! Told ya!" Say Evolutionists
Miami, Florida - Evolutionists could not contain their excitement when a paper and ink factory exploded today, inadvertently creating an entire, accurate dictionary in its wake.
Miami Paper and Ink Inc. exploded for unknown reasons. As hundreds w...
Aspartame Boy finds proof that Diet Coke helps you stay trim
MANCHESTER, England - Aspartame Boy now has first hand evidence that you CAN lose weight on Diet Coke. He actually lost 20 stone after switching from Diet Pepsi to Diet Coke.
"I don't know why, but I just started losing weight like crazy after I...
Catholic Conservative Group Asks Politicians To Stop Using the Word "Caucus" - Suggests Using "Hum-Hum Assembly" Or "Thingy-Group"
Washington DC - A conservative Catholic group known as "Parishioners Eliminating Naughty Insinuation Society", or "PENIS," demanded today that politicians stop using the word "caucus" for what they call "obvious reasons."
"People are always trying...
HMS Hood raised from the Atlantic
Those patriotic souls of merry old England may have cause to rejoice as it was announced from the Stoke Nautical salvage agency that there long-awaited programme to raise her majesties once mighty Battle cruiser 'HMS Hood' had indeed come to fruition...
Santorum Denies Criticizing Gays, Claims He Said "Humus Chemicals"
Concord, NH -- Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum has again found himself in hot water, just days after controversy over his remarks about blacks and welfare. This time the controversy was due to comments he made during a stump speech in...
The Village of Stoke Pogues obliterated as priest commits suicide
It was indeed a sad day for inhabitants of the parochial village of 'Stoke Pogues' as the local vicar Reverend Arthur Basingston committed suicide - inadvertently eradicating the local demographic.
In the ultimate act of self-destruction, he stra...
Power cut in Dorking leaves thousands suffering
During the heavy winds that battered the British Isles a fallen tree fell on the main power line that transfers power to the small Surrey town of Dorking cutting the small Surrey town of Dorking off from the power grid and leaving the small Surrey to...
Michelle Bachmann: Wicked Witch of the Midwest
Following her defeat in the Iowa caucus, Michelle Bachmann has vowed to return to her previous occupation as a witch.
'I'll not be wearing a pointy hat and riding a broomstick', she cackled, 'that would be silly. Besides, I've accrued lots of air...
The Reason Why The Statue of Libety Is Being Moved From New York City To Washington D.C.
NEW YORK CITY - Mayor Bloomberg is pretty upset at a text message that he has just received from Vice-President Joe Biden.
The vice-president has informed the mayor that the Federal Historical Department, which is headed by Biden, has just voted 4...
Iran trying to ratchet up the price of crude with Straits of Hormuz blockade plan
Arabian Gulf - "You can blame the psychotic Supreme Leader of Iran, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, for this latest sabre rattling scare," a source at the CIA's desk in Pyongyang commented this morning.
"Expect the price of oil to rocket at around $150 a...
US Military Rationed To Fighting One War At A Time
In a shock move from Washington, it has been announced that the US military will be strictly rationed to fighting one war at a time for the foreseeable future.
The reason given was that in the current dire economic climate, the USA can no longer a...
Apple to Patent Steve Jobs
It is the ultimate accolade for any individual, when the company they founded applies for a patent on them.
The Late Steve Jobs has received such an honour from Apple Inc.
"We feel that Steve was so unique, that we want to ensure that he stays...
Michelle Obama Spanks Nation's Children - Sends Them To Bed Without Supper
Washington DC - The First Lady has taken further and more drastic action in her efforts to raise everyone's children for them. Michelle Obama, whose work to bring tasteless and crappy food to the nation's school cafeterias was a dismal failure and on...
Stockport County Sign Danny Rowe to play alongside...Danny Rowe
Stockport County, recently relegated from the league into non-league have signed Danny Rowe on loan from Fleetwood Town, a team from the other end of the Conference National to themselves.
"We're near the bottom of the league," said manager Jim "T...
Vinnie Jones shows the world how to apply CPR and then GBH to cardiac arrest patients!
Ex footballer (cough, cough), thug actor and general hard-man, Vinnie Jones, has been chosen for an advertising campaign showing people how not to kiss people whilst having cardiac arrest, but to apply CPR with the hands and when that doesn't work, a...
Republicans and Democrats To Meet By Swing Sets At Recess
Washington - Republicans and Democrats announced today that they would be meeting by the swing sets at recess to "solve their differences" once and for all - and "no fair telling teacher!"
"You're dead at recess!" said Obama, pointing an accusing...
Blackburn boss Steve Kean named 'Manager of The Year'
Under fire Blackburn Rovers boss has been named 'Manager Of The Year' after an amazing 3-2 win on December 31st at Old Trafford, the home of world famous Manchester United.
Dignified Scottish slap head Kean scooped the prize after the incredible...
Andre Villas-Boas Is Definitely On His Way Out
It appears that all the speculation surrounding the future of Andre Villas-Boas at Chelsea is true, and that he will be sent packing from Stamford Bridge within the next forty eight hours.
The suggestion is that AVB has lost control of the dressin...
Celebrity Wife Swap Producers Promise to Deliver Edgy TV
As if the title or the format of the new reality show weren't edgy enough, the first few episodes of the new reality series will carry enough outrageous sensationalism to cast all viewers down into the depths of Hades. Producers hope at least, that...
Paranoid 'Shovel Face' Eludes Mental Health Team In Burnley Cemetery
The woman known only as 'Shovel Face' last night eluded a mental health team in a Burnley Cemetery, and once again fled screaming into the night.
Ted Tenter, of the local mental health team told reporters:
"We're desperate to contact this indiv...
Peaches Geldof to name new baby daughter Nectarine
London - A daft trend started by Gwynnie Paltrow naming her daughter Apple now sees newly pregnant Peaches Geldof pick a fruity name for her firstborn, due this August.
Publicists for the be-tattooed peroxide vamp said today she and her fiance, S.
Everyone In Whole Wide World Hates Local Man
Kansas City - A local man here discovered today that indeed everyone in the whole wide world hated him and wished he was dead - including his own family, who would love nothing more than to smash his head in.
Ezekiel Stanford, 40, a local man who...
Top surgeon urges removal of underpants
Surgeons called yesterday for a national register of underpants, with mandatory reporting of cases of rupture or slackness. This would help to identify really faulty underwear that might pose health risks to resident occupants, as well as other bus p...
Alf Starling Critical As 'Shovel Face' Strikes Again
Popular Worthing Pensioner, 104 year old Viagra addict Alf Starling, is battling death on an NHS life-support machine after a semi-fatal incident in his retirement bungalow - writes Chief Crime Correspondent Ted Armitage.
Starling was found half-a...
Cockneys tell more porkies than Scousers and Taffies
Cockneys tell more lies than Scousers or Taffies, according to a local survey.
The Londoners score an average of seven porkies a day, with Scousers achieving five and the hapless Taffies managing only four little fibs.
Both the Cockneys polled...
Ten Comments from Experts about the Possible Ending of the World in 2012
What's the skinny on this scary prediction? Here's a sampling of comments:
Martha Stewart: "Be prepared. Pack yourself some nice take-out meals that travel REALLY well."
Queen Elizabeth II: "I'm not leaving without my tiara, my royal robes, and my purse."
Entrepreneur Donald Trump: "I STILL may run for president."
Twitter executive: "Send some good-bye tweets, but remembe...
Dozens of loan sharks stranded on beach
Dover was closed yesterday as emergency services tried to rescue nearly 40 huge loan sharks left stranded on the beach after massive downfalls in the U.K. economy.
Many of them had been over-whelmed with high-interest credit and were unable to cop...
|
|
|
|
||||||
|
|
|
||||||
|
|
|
||||||
|
|
|
Mailing List
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!