Two of the big four High Street supermarket chains Asco and Tesda are to start selling the highly controversial Whale Milk. The other three of the big two, Sainssons and Morribury's are watching sales of Whale Milk with interest.
PETAL, the People...
In a statement outside 10 Downing Street, Magic FM DJ and coalition Defence secretary Doctor Neil "Foxy" Fox said:
"I want to apologise. I should not have allowed personal loyalty to a friend interfere with my duties as a Minister. I have spoken a...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, was left literally reeling today, after a book signing for the phenomenally best selling 'The Dorking Review' went horrendously awry.
Arriving home after a lengthy session in the pub, Shuttlecock sat down in front of...
Texas Prison Chiefs today unveiled the electric-bench at a local state penitentiary after three years of research and development. The bench has been labeled "a fantastic breakthrough in the battle against rising prison numbers."
The bench will al...
Following David Cameron's passionate pleas at the Tory Conference, party leaders have come up with a way to instil 'can-do optimism' and 'bulldog spirit' into the British people: by re-enacting the Blitz.
In order to achieve the Government's targe...
Ex-Beatle and devoted "veggie burger" (is he still?) Sir Paul McCartney has just married his third wife after a wild, rather nasty affair with his second and super marriage with Linda, who unfortunately died and left Sir Paul sadly alone despite all...
Washington DC - American politicians once connected to the now defunct Atlantic Bridge stink tank founded by embattled UK Defence Secretary Liam Fox are having none of it.
Senators Jon Kyle, Lindsey Graham and Joe Lieberman have formally distanced...
Steve Jobs was an amazing inventor of computer and digital technology, which has transformed the way we create, communicate and live our lives.
However, few people know of the many other inventions that were important in the development of Steve...
Last night a whole ream of Gangsta Rap lyrics were found beaten up and lying unconscious upon the sidewalk of Wiltshire Boulevard in Los Angeles. Bloodied and bruised, the lyrics were taken by ambulance to Mount Sinai hospital for immediate medical s...
HARFOLD, Vt.--Harfold State College released a frightening study this week, frightening at least for those Americans named Peterson or Pederson or Pedersen or some variation thereof.
According to the study, Americans with this surname are most lik...
New York, NY-- A well-dressed group of about fifty people threaded its way down Wall Street Saturday, on a sunny October afternoon. The group was made up of bankers, billionaires, and CEOs from some of the largest corporations in the country. Chris...
The Isle of Wight News is pleased to announce that the Isle of Wight News App is now available from the Apple Store.
The new Isle of Wight News App will keep people on the island completely up to date with all the various comings and goings on the...
A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and poverty, starting in August 1947
Chapter 33 - The Job Assessment
I'd spotted a job for an American Delivery Company just starting up in Stapleford, Nottinghamshire, England, for Telephone Advisor's. The money on offer was fenomon... phunomin.. very good.
I contacted the number given, and it was arranged for me to g...
The Bra Burning Coalition, the militant wing of the Feminism Movement, which is the political arm of Woman's Lib, which is a small book-store in Cambridge, is looking for a new venue for their annual Bra Burning.
"We've been burning bras in Burnle...
Ousted Libyan leader Colonel Gadaffi has finally been located in Blackpool in Madam Tussauds.
"We were very surprised to find him there," said Richard Tussaud (no relation, surprisingly), manager of Madam Tussauds Blackpool. "We never twigged for...
Buckingham Palace has just issued a statement that Her Majesty The Queen intends to abdicate from the royal throne and to emigrate to Australia. Royal Press Secretary Sir James Faversham-Gainsborough-Kizzmeyarrz read the following statement prepared by Her Maj:
Philip and I have decided to stand aside and give our son Charles the opportunity to rule the British Empire. We've waited this long in...
CHICAGO - Amanda Knox owes around $4 million in legal fees and she has stated her intentions are to pay off the entire amount.
She was recently approached by Shania Warbocker, the editor of PlayGuy Magazine about appearing in a nude photo layout w...
REDONDO BEACH, California - Taylor Lautner the star of the Twilight series movies is still somewhat sad at his recent breakup with Lily Collins daughter of rock music icon Phil Collins.
According to Cahoots Wyoming of Silver Screen Magazine the re...
Keokuk,Iowa-The State Department has warned American citizens against travelling in Iowa after Amish rebels kidnapped an American tourist there.
Bicyclist Howard Johnson was captured over the weekend after straying into rebel territory while bicyc...
Amish Rebels in Iowa have issued a statement calling for Illinois to surrender all it's territory west of the Mississippi in exchange for the release of bicyclist Howard Johnson.
Fredrick Yoder, speaking through an interpreter called Mr. Johnson a...