TUPELO, Mississippi - Herman Cain brought his I Just Be Chilaxin Bus Tour into Tupelo, Mississippi.
The town located in northern Mississippi is noted for being the place where back in September of 1863, during a Civil War battle, Confederate Gene...
GREEN RIVER, Wyoming - Ron Paul has said that he will stay in the GOP presidential race no matter how many salacious rumors about him people choose to make up.
The 76-year-old from Texas says that in regards to rumors that he has pretty much heard...
The Queen and Prince Philip have ended their royal visit to Australia and are on their way back to England so that they won't miss out on this years Halloween celebrations on Monday evening (31 October) in the woods near Windsor Castle.
Originall...
SOUTH DAKOTA - First, Herman Cain changed his tax plan from 9-9-9 to 9-0-9. Then Herman Cain's chief of staff, Mark Block, who loves the way smoke feels on his mustache, is shown smoking a cigarette in a political commercial. Then Herman Cain promise...
X-Factors Johnny Robinson confounded the critics Saturday with a stunning rendition of the jazz classic - It's That Old Devil Called Love Again.
Johnny, regarded by many as a makeweight who'd get voted out in the first week, has slaughtered the cr...
Herald Square, New York - Flanked by top fashion luminaries, Macy's CEO Terry Lundgren today launched Occupy WOW Street! - a move by the retail chain to boost pre-holiday sales.
'The inspiration came about one month ago, said Lundgren, speaking...
SOUTH AFRICA - The Honey Badger (HB) is the prime suspect in the murder of aspiring journalist Paul Sweetwater (PS). Investigations after Paul's mysterious disappearance lead authorities to an audio file in his iCloud. The file contained an interview between Paul and the Honey Badger.
A friend of Paul, Hans Swackheimer said, "...he (PS) refused to say where he was going or who he was intervie...
The BBC revealed today that following an internal pilot study, it will not be re-introducing the popular TV show 'It's a Knock-out'.
The show, which topped the ratings during the 70's and early 80's featured teams from different towns across the U...
Scooterville's residant joureylist, Betty Cockspur has wun this yeers spelling bee contest held at the home of local undertaker Dan Cockspur.
Betty, who rigts and repoats for the the Scooterville Times has now won the compitieon ate times, testimo...
HOLLYWOOD - A very close friend of Lindsay Lohan's has stated that the cash-strapped starlet has been offered and accepted $1 million to bare it all in Hugh's top publication.
According to Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo, Miss Lohan has run...
In an unprecedented move to insure that all potential life is protected, legislation has been introduced in twenty-six states to make male masturbation a crime.
In a press conference this morning a spokesman declared, "All life is sacred and all...
Undead United 94 Zombie FC 0 - Spoof sports reporter, SKOOB1999, managed to speak to United Manager, Davey Locker, before he went back into the freezer.
SKOOB: "You have won by a comfortable margin, was it your tactics"?
Locker: "No, every...
A local man claims that Saturday will be a day to forget.
Mr Gideon Lambrusco claimed to be "minding his own business" when his day just started to unravel for no apparent reason.
"I just don't get it," said Mr Lambrusco, 46, of Panfried Garden...
Arsenal proved today that they aren't dead in the water after all as they emerged comfortable winners in a 5-3 triumph at Stamford Bridge, ably aided by a Robin Van Persie hat trick.
It was a pulsating encounter, which Chelski led at half time by...
South coast kebab, burger and pizza entrepreneur, Ali Bullo today announced that he has reluctantly banned Freddie The Zombie from a kebab van in Park Gate.
Freddie The Zombie, who has until recently proved quite popular with the locals, has been...
Editor: Mrs Feliphant Opilove
Hello, and a warm wintery welcome. To the wealthy residents.
News:
Some poor elderly people were spotted shopping in Waitrose last week, the police were called, and they were removed.
Mrs Toak, of the Gables, Oswestry road, has complained about working class people standing at bus stops. I have had a word with the bus company, and they will be moved on.
Hello!
And welcome to another edition of our fun pack magazine.
Last month, Mr E. Winter from Devon, wrote to the Editor complaining about the sniggering from two of our members while burying his wife.
I have spoken to those involved and they explained that Mr Winters wife had died of Leprosy, and while lowering the open coffin into the hole, her nose fell off. They tried to carry on, bu...
London - It's a made-in-heaven opportunity of a lifetime as financial creationists hail the Vatican's latest scam - er...plan! - announced during the Eurozone crisis this week.
The proposed establishment of a World Central Bank sees ex-UK Prime Mo...
HARFOLD, Vt.--Some 80% of dieters regain the weight they've lost within a year. According to a study released earlier this week by Harfold State College, some 99.9% of those dieters blame hormonal changes for the return of flab.
Coincidently, the...
LOS ANGELES - Reports are filtering through that die-hard fans of the late King Of Propofol - Sorry, Pop - have been washing up in The City Of Angels, eagerly anticipating a 'Thriller' like zombie resurrection of the singing, dancing, alleged kiddie...
A gang of robbers, stormed the Bank of England yesterday, and demanded staff deposit thirty billion Euros into its safes.
Brandishing sawn off water pistols and stink bombs, the gang burst into the foyer of the bank, squirting customers and securi...
A jury has found Tobako a killer by a majority verdict. There are still some people who think Tabako doesn't kill but they are a minority.
In reaction to this news the Government is questioning the 49% increase in the salary for Tobako Chief Execu...
ST. LOUIS - You win some and you lose some. But when the 2011 Major League Baseball World Series was finished, baseball fans were relieved that they did not have to continue hearing about what player did what in game so and so and who was distracted...
We recently spoke with an expert about the new Blackout Law that is being introduced in Congress.
The new law is aimed at making sure that United States citizens can no longer own, go to, or even remotely talk about, websites that support online p...
Archeologists claim they have found a 5000-year old backgammon. Backgammon uses dice, or rather knucklebones, to provide random numbers, or rather deity's will and pre-determination, to determine the movements of the checkers.
In addition to backgammon, man, in complex situations, uses the same knucklebone idea to determine what to do, shifting the responsibility to the supernatural and thus...
A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and poverty, starting in August 1947
Chapter 40 - Nottingham Forest vs Ipswich Town
My mates were away on holiday, so I wrapped myself up in a great coat, scarf, flat cap etc (it was very cold), took a beef dripping sandwich, apple, and bar of Fry's 5 boys chocolate, and set off to the match on my own.
There was a big...
Cameron made to apologise for "grossly offensive" Hillsborough remarks, pity,
He believes the lower order folk are full of superfluity,
Until election time, when he requires our vote and comity,
Shows you how he makes it easy for us to show him our reprehensibility!
Damian Green - Britain's Immigration Minister, said:
"Immigration has been too high", he's not notice before,? another...
In the middle of this depression, and with the highest levels ever known of unemployed in Nottingham, the two owners of Nottingham's shopping centres plan to expand!
Victoria Shopping Centre - Nottingham
Management Comment: We believe it is a good time to invest in the Victoria Centre and Nottingham.
Their proposals:
* An additional 500,000sq feet extension.
* £240+ million investm...
Well known for sticking his size 12 boot where it doesn't belong, Prince Philip has enjoyed a long and illustrious history of inappropriate public statements and generally bad attitude. At the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (CHOGM) this week he's proved he's not losing his low brain cell and emotional intelligence touch:
To Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard about her inability t...
OAK BROOK, IL. - Not to be outdone by the multitudes of vendors creating their own release of the popular Linux operating system, McDonald's President and Chief Executive Officer, Jim Skinner, today announced the release of McDonalds McLinux 1.0 (Hap...
In the old testament it was 'An eye for an eye'. In Jesus' time the message was 'Turn the other cheek'. So what do we have in our modern times as a guideline for our spiritual well-being? 'Karma' the New Age paths tell us. Every little nasty that you have ever done will come flying back at some time and whap you silly. Of course, karma doesn't necessarily have to be bad because every good thing yo...