As the world recession deepens there is even worse news; toilet rolls are running low and in some places there's only a year or two of supplies left. Manufacturers are working hard to find an alternative but so far, they've come up with nothing.
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London - Did 'Eve' really marry 'Satan' in the Garden of Eden on 20 November in the year dot?
Potent astrological omens this weekend are hinting at hidden apocalyptic twists on Mayan calendar nutzs' 21 December 2012 prediction rant.
And the maj...
Friends of the The Captain of the boat that Natalie woods died on have revealed new evidence about the night of her fatal accident.
They have stated that, on the night of the drowning, the captain told his friends he heard shouting and screaming...
MELBOURNE - Tiger Woods was reported to have been seen last night at various Melbourne watering spots with Aussie high-jump champion Marsu Pial. Of kangaroo heritage, Ms. Pial represented Australia in the past two Olympics in the high-jump competiti...
Today Nov. 18, 2011 Pope Benedict XVI arrived in Benin, Africa the home of Voodoo. Originally Benin was named the Kingdom of Dahomey. Then it was renamed the Slave Coast. This week Pope Benedict XVI sued Benetton for using a picture of him kissing an...
HARFOLD, Vt.--In a study released today by Harfold State College, researchers found that the things for which college students are thankful this holiday season depend greatly on gender.
Of all women interviewed, 72.3% are thankful for their famil...
Manchester United have signed a 5 year-old super dog called Jack who can do things with a ball that not even Wayne Rooney can do. United scouts spotted the dog doing his amazing tricks in a municipal Manchester park with his owner, Andy a staunch Man...
New York - The international financial industry now controls Heaven as well as Hell. After years of behind-the-scenes maneuvering and back room deals, Wall Street officially became a major religion of the world this morning.
With a hierarchy mirro...
HOLLYWOOD - Fifteen-year-old rap singer Astro found himself in the bottom two of the latest edition of X-Factor.
Astro took the microphone and arrogantly said that since the viewers had put him in the bottom two that he did not want to sing, dance...
Giovanni Trapattoni stated recently "I'm Not God", although Republic Of Ireland are doing pretty well at the moment, qualifying for Euro 2012.
When asked if Trapattoni was almighty and all that, 3 out of 4 of the potential squad for the Euros sai...
The Vatican has just issued a bulletin destined to go down in history. Pope Benedict XVI has announced that he saw Jesus Christ last night "while gazing at the Universe." He has photographic proof and "can't wait to share it with all Humanity."...
Latest legislation passed in Brussels will make it a crime to say that water is wet.
The news follows hard on the decision by the European Food Standards Authority (EFSA) that water does not hydrate.
A meeting of 21 Euroboffins in Parma came to...
California - A thirty year whodunnit mystery was reopened today amid new evidence in the unexplained death of West Side Story star Natalie Wood.
The actress' body was found floating a mile away from the yacht Splendour off Santa Catalina island in...
FIFA president Sepp Blatter has been credited with solving the long-running Stephen Lawrence murder case after a gang of white racists agreed to shake hands with the parents of Stephen Lawrence.
"I don't know why we didn't think of this sooner," s...
Kate Gosselin has announced that she is trying to get pregnant. Again.
"I just want one more," she told reporters.
When asked how she would feel if she found out it was more than just one, again, she said, "that's okay, I have plenty of love to...
GALLUP, New Mexico - Herman Cain brought his GOP presidential campaign to Gallup, New Mexico, the town noted for being one of only three locations in the continental United States where the famous explorer Ponce De Leon believed the infamous Fountain...
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg says his decision to drink a cup of coffee yesterday morning was "his decision, and his decision alone."
The Flute tooting ankle tickler insisted his girlfriend was wrong to tweak his nipple and danced her soc...
A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947
In this chapter he remembers from 1950s, as a young lad, when his Dad would take him to the Empire Theatre in Nottingham, and used to made him sit and watch what bit he could see over the front of the stalls up in the 9d (3¼p) seats in the Gods, with many wonderful acts performin...
Fat girl, Amelia Gannet, 29, of Dorking was reported to be 'over the moon' last night, when it was announced that she was 'Customer Of The Year' at the works canteen of local employer, SEN Packaging Ltd.
"I'm over the moon!" Amelia told doorsteppi...
GOP candidate Herman Cain was hospitalized over night for an allergic reaction to Viagra. Cain a long time user of Viagra was one of only five hundred men nationwide selected to have the new liquid Viagra pump surgically placed into the cheek of his...