Funny story:  Popular Heavy Metal Band Planning to Release Christmas Album This Fall

Popular Heavy Metal Band Planning to Release Christmas Album This Fall

PERU, IN - No matter your profession or financial circumstances, it's hard not to get excited about Christmas. Kids from one to ninety-two, as Nat King Cole crooned about a half-century ago, all find the holiday season bright, even the ones who appear to the average observer as if they would just as soon slit Santa's throat as to await his arrival with childhood giddiness on Christmas Eve. It...
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Funny story:  Ronnie Corbett to have painful leg-lengthening surgery

Ronnie Corbett to have painful leg-lengthening surgery

One of our reporters recently sat down with well-know comedian and beekeeper, Ronnie Corbett to discuss his decision at 71 yrs. of age, to have painful leg-lengthening surgery. First, a little background for Ronnie Corbett fans who may think of him ONLY as a short bespectacled comedian. Ronnie was born in 1930, in Scotland and attended Grammar School, not immediately after his birth, but eve...
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Funny story:  UK offers to help Japanese earthquake victims

UK offers to help Japanese earthquake victims

David Cameron has announced to the House of Lords that the UK is willing to give any necessary aid to Japan after their horrifyingly bad tsunami. Despite Japan being the second richest country in the world, and the UK being about 5th or 6th, Prime...
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Funny story:  Justin Bieber Claims Two-Bit Punk Look Only Temporary

Justin Bieber Claims Two-Bit Punk Look Only Temporary

Teen heartthrob, Justin Bieber has just issued a public explanation why he is looking more and more like a two-bit punk every day. "I've stopped shaving so I can grow a mustache," said an enthusiastic Bieber. Unfortunately, coupled with his new h...
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Funny story:  Shortage of Garlic on Isle of Wight Leaves Some Residents Frightened

Shortage of Garlic on Isle of Wight Leaves Some Residents Frightened

Global warming seems to be affecting many parts of the world with record floods, cold snaps, snow storms and even heat waves. These climactic changes are wreaking havoc on some of the world's agricultural crops and garlic is no exception. Garlic i...
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Funny story:  Wisconsin Governor busts Green Bay Packers Union

Wisconsin Governor busts Green Bay Packers Union

Using legal chicanery during the absence of 14 Democrat senators, Wisconsin governor Scott Walker and the Republican legislatures successfully busted the collective bargaining rights of the Green Bay Packers. "Since they are the only team in Ameri...
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Funny story:  Fukushima - Japan - Is There Even Worse To Follow?

Fukushima - Japan - Is There Even Worse To Follow?

As if Japan hasn't had enough to deal with - a megaquake, a devastating tsunami, some pessimists are now anxiously keeping tabs on the situation at the Fukushima Nuclear Power Facility, and are sincerely hoping that it won't develop into a full on nu...
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Funny story:  Shocking New Stats Reveal That 76% Of UK Teechers R Bearly Litrit

Shocking New Stats Reveal That 76% Of UK Teechers R Bearly Litrit

Sum shocking noo stats out today reveel that a staggring 76% of Britons teechers are bearly litrit and shud not be teechin fings lyke Hinglish in skoolz coz their breedinge kids wot will ave no ope of eva postin comrehencable messgs on intrnet sytes.
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Funny story:  Arizona balances budget with federal funds by posing as a failed bank and foreign country

Arizona balances budget with federal funds by posing as a failed bank and foreign country

Phoenix, AZ - Governor Jan Brewer stunned the media today when her office issued a press release announcing that enough funds had been received from the federal government to balance the state budget, and eliminate the need for further cuts to basic services, increased teacher and police/firefighter layoffs, and tax increases. The funds were acquired by posing as a failed bank and a the country of...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Political Unrest Explodes Across Island

Isle of Wight News - Political Unrest Explodes Across Island

Ventnor - Public sentiment against David Pugh's Inaction Plan and possible implementation of government restraint measures has reached a fever pitch across the island with public skirmishes and demonstrations of show of force against the government t...
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Funny story:  Six Nations Rugby: Scotland Unveil Secret Weapon To Beat English At Twickenham.

Six Nations Rugby: Scotland Unveil Secret Weapon To Beat English At Twickenham.

Twickenham is to host the rugby meeting of the weekend today, when England face arch rivals Scotland. The fixture is much anticipated, with an England win boosting their chances of winning the six nations trophy outright. However, Scotland have...
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Funny story:  Common-sensism the new global political agenda otherwise called "Global insanity!"

Common-sensism the new global political agenda otherwise called "Global insanity!"

Warning: The readers of this particular "majestic mental magazine madness" could well become infected by the disease, the author accepts no responsibility: Please read with care. The new political agenda about to crush everything in it's path, like a Japanese tsunami (sorry), that happened before, is about to take the globe by the balls and result in the ultimate revolution and nothing will ev...
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Funny story:  Clegg Vows "No NHS Privatisation" - millions of students relieved

Clegg Vows "No NHS Privatisation" - millions of students relieved

Following Nick Clegg's declaration that the NHS will not be privatised under any conditions, the National Union of Students have reacted: "That's it then - the NHS will not be privatised. We believe him." Their reaction is at odds with Nick...
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Funny story:  Cow Breaks World Record

Cow Breaks World Record

There was mayhem today at the Annual World Cow Jumping Games in Scotland. An amazing series of events was triggered when the entrance money was somehow stolen by two mysterious onlookers who looked exactly like a Cat and a Fiddle. 'They've vani...
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Funny story:  A Heartbroken Justin Timberlake Seeks Solace In The Sympathetic Arms of The Stunningly Sexy Mila Kunis

A Heartbroken Justin Timberlake Seeks Solace In The Sympathetic Arms of The Stunningly Sexy Mila Kunis

HOLLYWOOD - Hollywood has the reputation of being "The Throw-Away Relationship Capital of The World." And there is no better example than Justin Timberlake who recently parted ways with his partner of three years and then the next day found himsel...
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Funny story:  What's wrong with this picture? A short treatise on the current "moral vacuum" at the rotten core of our society.

What's wrong with this picture? A short treatise on the current "moral vacuum" at the rotten core of our society.

I can't afford a 50" HD LCD TV with Freeview. Stuck as I am in a poverty trap on a State Pension this sort of thing is out of my reach. However this is seriously infringing my Human Right to a higher standard of living than what I can afford. It's discrimination, mate, that's what it is, because I'm entitled to one, and that's good enough for me. SO - I think I'll try the European Court of Human R...
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Funny story:  Man City Fan Fined Over Offensive Car Sticker

Man City Fan Fined Over Offensive Car Sticker

Manchester City supporter Darren Braithwaite has been fined £500 and jailed for 7 days after being found guilty of displaying a car sticker that was "grossly offensive and detrimental to public safety.". The City fan put the sticker - a 2 feet by...
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Funny story:  Japanese earthquake caused by "whale terrorists"

Japanese earthquake caused by "whale terrorists"

As Japan today recovers from its devastating earthquake and subsequent tsunami, people are beginning to ask questions about how and why this could have happened. Professor Sunichi Robotifuki of the University of Tokyo spoke to the press today thro...
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Funny story:  Dog Show Lets Cat out of the Bag

Dog Show Lets Cat out of the Bag

Falling audience numbers for the Mutts Dog Show have encouraged organisers to take the show in a new direction. Following cricket's example in getting audiences by making the game more exciting in slogs over 20 overs, Mutts Chairlady Monica Peven...
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Funny story:  Controversial Danish artist Hotte Scheisse shocks the Modern Art world with BRICKS - "It's her masterpiece" says Guardian critic Bogus O'Sham

Controversial Danish artist Hotte Scheisse shocks the Modern Art world with BRICKS - "It's her masterpiece" says Guardian critic Bogus O'Sham

Now showing at the Tate Modern until September, is a retrospective exhibition of the work of Danish post-post-modern-neo-futurist-abstract/concrete artist Hotte Scheisse. Born in the 1950's, in the little-known Parisian suburb of Fromage sur Seine, the result of a one night stand behind a night club in Montmartre between her Polish heroin-addicted mother and a one-legged alcoholic German soldie...
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Funny story:  Year Of 2012 To Be Postponed

Year Of 2012 To Be Postponed

The UN announced today that the year of 2012 is to be postponed. Ban Ki-moon, Secretary-General of the United Nations, spoke of the unanimous UN vote. 'The outlook for the global economy is extremely uncertain,' he explained. 'There is political i...
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Funny story:  Wayne Rooney And the Highly Suspicious Thai Goldfish Breakfast Menu

Wayne Rooney And the Highly Suspicious Thai Goldfish Breakfast Menu

Wayne Rooney's friends have admitted they are worried about his new health regime because it includes eating Goldfish for breakfast. They say that the star has taken tips from the Great Thai Sumo Wrestler Ito Muriyama who eats 20 raw goldfish a...
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Funny story:  Clegg Arrested for Incitement to Violence

Clegg Arrested for Incitement to Violence

Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, was taken into custody today for incitement to violence after he said he was preparing to 'wring the necks' of unidentified Bankers. Speaking at the Liberal Democrat Spring Conference, Clegg forgot his speech and...
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Funny story:  David Beckham reveals that Victoria is expecting a girl

David Beckham reveals that Victoria is expecting a girl

David Beckham and Victoria are 'over the moon' to be expecting a little baby girl. They already have 3 boys and David has apparently given an interview in which he said, "I am over the moon. A daughter. This is so exciting. I can't wait to tak...
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Funny story:  Six Nations Italian Rugby Team Manager Promises 'Fight' Against France

Six Nations Italian Rugby Team Manager Promises 'Fight' Against France

Nick Mallett, manager of the Italian national rugby team, has promised a 'fight' against France this weekend. Italy who have lost 29 out of 34 games under Mallett, are facing a challenge on Saturday. They have lost at home to France for the last n...
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Funny story:  Stephen Fry admits to taking cocaine - brings Spoof writers out of closet

Stephen Fry admits to taking cocaine - brings Spoof writers out of closet

Stepehen Fry recently admitted to taking cocain in order to calm him down and do difficult crosswords. A detailed interview will be coming out later this year. This news came as no surprise to a number of Spoof Writers who took this opportunity to admit to some of their 'addictions'. Addictions -or rather strange rituals which they purport, actually DO help them with their 'art' - writing art...
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Funny story:  Pete Doherty Birthday Party Ends with a Bang

Pete Doherty Birthday Party Ends with a Bang

Fire Engines were last night called to a small German pub to help put out a fire caused by a large explosion that originated from their Beer Garden. The explosion was believed to have come from a fireworks display gone wrong. It was said to have...
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Funny story:  Gay Man Writes Autobiography with his Penis

Gay Man Writes Autobiography with his Penis

A gay man has written a tell-all book which reveals the sordid details of his life using a roll of toilet paper and his penis. Larry Sabu, 20, said he was too lazy to learn to use a typewriter, so decided instead to use whatever was closest to han...
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Funny story:  Nothing Particularly Interesting Happens to Gay Man

Nothing Particularly Interesting Happens to Gay Man

A gay man has reported that nothing remotely interesting happened to him today. Larry Sabu, 20, a well-known member of the local homosexual league, told us that he spent the entire day free from fey innuendo or press titillating shite. "I got u...
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Funny story:  Bruce Forsyth decides not to retire just yet

Bruce Forsyth decides not to retire just yet

Amid strong speculation that Bruce Forsyth would be hanging up his dancing shoes at the age of ninety, Brucie himself has come forward and admitted that the limelight has just too much allure to have him retire just yet. "ITV bosses have offered m...
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Funny story:  Queen's disaster tourist Prince William pulls out of Australia/New Zealand visit

Queen's disaster tourist Prince William pulls out of Australia/New Zealand visit

London - 'Royal tragedy voyeurism' is how one disgruntled blogger put it as details of next week's vanity trip were first announced. A Palace decision to send Prince William on a tour of catastrophe-hit areas of Australia and New Zealand has now b...
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Funny story:  Massive Quake Changes Earth's Orbit By Two Months

Massive Quake Changes Earth's Orbit By Two Months

Tokyo, Japan-- The terrible earthquake that struck the Pacific Basin yesterday was so powerful, it actually changed the orbit of the earth. The calamity pushed the earth ahead in its orbit by more than two months. Tomorrow will be May 19, instead o...
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Funny story:  Nuclear experts  confounded

Nuclear experts confounded

Tokyo - Speech expert Dr. Hotseetanuka is alarmed today at the sudden onset of stuttering that is afflicting "Nuclear Experts". Many such "experts" are being consulted today with regards to the nuclear catastrophe here. Surprisingly, they are sud...
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Funny story:  Lennon Triggers Earthquake

Lennon Triggers Earthquake

An earthquake measuring 5.5 on the Richter scale has hit the West of Scotland. The quake is believed to have been triggered when Celtic manager Neil Lennon heard of his latest touchline ban and, in the words of a neighbour who wishes to remain ano...
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Funny story:  Paris Hilton and Perez Hilton Get Into A "Bitch Slapping" Fight At Charlie Sheen's Malibu Beach House

Paris Hilton and Perez Hilton Get Into A "Bitch Slapping" Fight At Charlie Sheen's Malibu Beach House

MALIBU BEACH - It appears that two of Tinsel Town's biggest divas the Hilton girls, Paris and Perez have both shown that they are about as civilized as two Taliban warriors. The two were attending a Charlie Sheen "Winning Wienie Roast" on the beach when they began posturing for position next to the host who was throwing wienies on the grill like they were marshmallows. Sheen had sent his two...
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Funny story:  Celebrity Apprentice: Richard Hatch Has Not Been Fired By Donald Trump - But He Is Headed To Prison (Again!)

Celebrity Apprentice: Richard Hatch Has Not Been Fired By Donald Trump - But He Is Headed To Prison (Again!)

PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island - Richard Hatch who is appearing on the television reality show Celebrity Apprentice has not been fired by Donald Trump but he has been ordered back to prison for violating the conditions of his being released from prison aft...
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Funny story:  Scott Walker Puppet: Finding a bunch of Koch up your Bum

Scott Walker Puppet: Finding a bunch of Koch up your Bum

When A person puts several ounces of cocaine in a balloon and inserts it in their anus, they are called a mule. When a governor is found to have a major industrial leaders hand stuck so far up his backside as to such attempt to use him as a puppet, h...
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Funny story:  Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker Has Just Passed Bernie Madoff As Being The Most Hated Man In America

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker Has Just Passed Bernie Madoff As Being The Most Hated Man In America

MADISON, Wisconsin - With one swish of the pen, Governor Scott Walker has just dashed past ponzi scheme con artist Bernie Madoff as being the most hated man in the entire United States of America. The governor of "The Cheese State" has just signed...
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Funny story:  Jim Parsons True Identity Revealed: Reince Priebus

Jim Parsons True Identity Revealed: Reince Priebus

Photographs don't lie, they reveal hidden truths. Today researches have applied the Janet and Michael test to the actor Jim Parsons and RNC chairperson Reince Priebus and came up with startling conclusions; either the Big Bang Theory is a failing sit...
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Funny story:  Monica Lewinsky Stills Loves Bill Clinton And Wants Him Back - Hillary Reportedly Said, "Stick Around Honey, He Might Be Available Soon!"

Monica Lewinsky Stills Loves Bill Clinton And Wants Him Back - Hillary Reportedly Said, "Stick Around Honey, He Might Be Available Soon!"

LOS ANGELES - Monica Lewinsky in town to make an appearance on The Wheel of Fortune had a very revealing talk with a local reporter. Lewinsky, who gained notoriety as being the most famous White House intern in the history of White House interns,...
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Funny story:  E.U. Agrees On Common Approach to Libya

E.U. Agrees On Common Approach to Libya

The leaders of all states in the European Union have met in an emergency summit in Brussels to devise a common approach to Libya. France, Germany, the United Kingdom and Italy's Premiers led the debate and have issued a statement on behalf of all...
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Funny story:  Cricket Helping To Tackle Inner City Crime

Cricket Helping To Tackle Inner City Crime

An innovative new scheme involving police officers and adolescents playing cricket together is having a beneficial effect on inner city crime, Metropolitan Police sources are reporting. "Peace At The Crease" has been operating in Hackney and Lewis...
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Funny story:  UKIP Set Sights On Lib Dems

UKIP Set Sights On Lib Dems

UKIP leader Nigel Farage is confident that his party can oust the Lib Dems from their position as the most unpopular major force in British politics. Following Nick Clegg and co's woeful 6th spot in the recent Barnsley by election (their candidate...
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Funny story:  Political Correctness in Football - Chapter 253

Political Correctness in Football - Chapter 253

Continuing our look at the ever increasing world of political correctness and the many ways in which accepted soccer speak breaks the rules. First in the frame this week is one of the many entertaining but nonetheless highly controversial modern phrases known as Ron Atkoisms. "The winger beat him for fun" One of the classic expressions to issue forth from Big Ron's vocal chords, harmless...
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Funny story:  Dundee United Fans Must Prepare For Exodus Next Season

Dundee United Fans Must Prepare For Exodus Next Season

Fans of Scottish Premier League outfit Dundee United have been warned to prepare for seeing "Exodus" and other epic films at Tannadice next season. Film buff and chairman Steven Thompson is scrapping the traditional pre match and half time playing...
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Funny story:  Sarah Palin Seeks Charity to Pay for Kids' Braces

Sarah Palin Seeks Charity to Pay for Kids' Braces

Sarah Palin recently went on Fox News and publicly admitted that she could use some help in paying for her kids' dental expenses. "Do you even know how much a set of braces costs these days?" asked Palin as she made her case for asking folks who...
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Funny story:  How The World Will End: A Bleak Look Towards Man's Destiny

How The World Will End: A Bleak Look Towards Man's Destiny

The year is 2014. Many things have happened between now and then. Most of them not pretty. Stan Grimshaw was ready. He had read all the books, seen the movies. He was prepared for any eventuality. His friends told him he was mad for stockpiling every tinned foodstuff known to man. He spent hours pondering over each purchase, looking for the longest possible shelf life available. Soups,...
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