Researchers have long questioned whether our ancestors had bowel movements. Did they have to waddle out into the woods in the middle of the night after eating a hearty meal? There was, after all, no proof provided anywhere in their writings.
None...
Having come to an arrangement with the International Olympic Committee over a suitable allocation of free tickets and heavily-subsidised (if not completely free) hotels as part of his new term of dictatorship over FIFA, Sad Bladder has announced some...
A peeping tom has been spotted on the streets of Paris dressed in a Manchester City Home Kit. A similarly dressed peeper is being sought in Birmingham, England. The Birminham peeper has been nicknamed the Scarlet Spoofer because he leaves print-out...
In a tragic accident, former Three Buggers Eating Hamburgers actor, Jerry Blow, ran over his ex-wife and killed her. Apparently, Mr. Blow was taking a short cut to a Warlocks Anonymous meeting through the house of his ex-wife when the tragedy occurr...
WASHINGTON, DC --- Rep. Horace Hemaroid (R., NM) admitted that tweeted links to photographs of skidmarks were indeed his. "I had enough of people telling me I was, full of crap, didn't know my ass from my elbow, a poop head, butt breath, and I apolog...
In a packed and raucous American Airlines Arena in Miami, Florida, LeBron James unveiled his new time machine invention. Sitting on a golden throne and dressed in royal purple, LeBron James fitted a gold crown that was studded with rubies and diamon...
Vancouver, Canada: In an unusual outbreak of hooligan violence downtown Vancouver was turned into a war-zone as rivalling icehockey fans imitating infamous British soccer hooligans, smashed up everything in sight including themselves.
The reason f...
Glastonbury man, Robin Tripp was today woefully counting the cost of a night on the town, following which, he inadvertently flushed his thirteen year old anorexic daughter down the toilet.
A senior police officer described the circumstances as a t...
A US beer company whose product is renowned worldwide for quickly losing its fizz once opened has been announced as the new sponsor of the FA Cup, a competition that lost its own sparkle many years ago.
The three-year £multi-million deal between B...
Las Vegas - An abandoned rats' nest teetering on foreclosure is how critics of pageant coiffure have summed up some contestants' hairdos ahead of this year's Fathers Day extravaganza.
"That backcombed peroxide big hair look is still incredibly pop...
"Mom, can you pack me lunch today? And please…don't make it embarrassing." Anna-11
As parents, there are many ways we can ruin our children's lives. The possibilities are endless. An embarrassing lunch, however, seems to have been overlooked and hasn't been given enough attention. A poorly packed lunch can destroy a child's life and ruin their reputation. Brown bag or lunch box? Water bottle...
NEW YORK CITY - Scarlett Johansson was in the Big Apple visiting her old high school volleyball coach Brothina "Balls" Lemoncello.
Scarlett, 26, said that she learned a lot from Mrs. Lemoncello like what to tell guys when she wanted for them to le...
Scampering to correct an unintended insult to visiting world leaders, executives are busy trying to explain to some G8 countries why it was impossible for Mickey Mouse to give their respective Presidents a "High Five", when asked to do so.
Also...
Runaway bride, Crystal Harris, who almost got hitched to Hugh Hefner - 60 years her senior - is to appear on the Dr Phil show dressed up as Daffy Duck in a heartfelt bid to put a stop to certain circulating salacious rumours, and to prove that she is...
Banking on Detroit's decades old reputation for top quality and well organized sports event rioting, Vancouver Canucks fans angered over their loss in the Stanley Cup Finals, recruited some hard core Motor City fans to help organize those efforts.
The iconic 80's comedy show Not The Nine O Clock News seems to have provided a prophetic comment on news nearly 30 years later.
Negative news reporting is now being used to fill up column inches and website current affairs sites due to a paucity o...
Terrible news in the UK this morning as Mail Online announced that reader comments are temporarily disabled due a technical problem.
Most people only ever log on to Mail Online to read the readers' comments, which usually amount to nonsensical ran...
A leading psychologist at the University Of Contemporary Life Studies in Oldham, Professor Bernard "Yozzer" Hill, has announced that reading saturated celebrity tittle tattle on a daily basis can convert reasonably intelligent people into slavering m...
Celebrity something or other, Katie Price went absolutely ballistic this morning when she opened the newspapers, after seeing her fake tan compared with a Ronseal finish in the Sun newspaper. Which also had published her photo, made changeable into d...
A South Boston man's right hand had simply had it with trying to choke a chicken that, not only had not neck, but lacked a head worth squeezing.
"I can't believe it!" Exclaimed a shocked Jerry Little from South Boston. "This was my best friend! As a matter of fact, he was my only friend!"
"How could leave me this way? I mean all the good times we had together. I feel so empty now".
These are sad days for Ellen Bridgeport. She feels that her once beloved vibrator, who she affectionately named Bruno, no longer has the same sexual energy that he once did at the height of their relationship.
"It's just so frustrating", exclaimed an exasperated Bridgeport. "Things are just not the same between me and Bruno. I mean, this has been going on for a while now!
"I can remember...
After failing to sign Cristiano Ronaldo for a reported $150 million, Manchester City has turned their attention to Brazil and has signed an entire Sao Paulo favela.
City spokesmen, Dirk Ferrara said: "We're absolutely delighted with this acquisiti...
MANHATTAN - Calling herself a 'featured dancer' the latest Internet sensation Ginger Lee has decided to come out of hiding and tell her side of the story known by such diverse names as Weinergate, Petergate, Peckergate, wwwdotwoody, and Twitter Tickl...
COLORADO SPRINGS - Twilight's Taylor Lautner recently revealed that he has agreed to guest star on an upcoming episode of A&E's Dog The Bounty Hunter.
Lautner first approached Duane "The Dog" Chapman about appearing on his show after seeing hi...
The new reviews of "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark," which finally had its official opening night on Broadway, are in. They are quite good, at least better than the reviews of the preview performances.
They SHOULD be good, as they've been bought...
WINSTON-SALEM, North Carolina - Senator John Edwards surrendered to Federal authorities and immediately was finger printed and had his picture taken.
United States prosecutors report that the mugs shots of the senator from North Carolina are the d...