Wiltshire - As the crumbling Murdoch Empire teeters on collapse a 200ft barley field etching opposite Stonehenge warns of more disaster on Friday's full moon.
The magnificent Capricorn lunation appears on the latest crop circle, thought by many t...
London, UK: Following weeks of shocking revelations regarding phone hacking and illegal payments to police officers, it has now emerged that a News of the World "journalist" broke into Buckingham Palace during the Queen Mother's funeral in 2002, and...
Here is an extract from David Cameron's book "My Chums At Eton", which describes his time at the famous public school.
"What ho! It's me, your chum and Prime Minister. I've removed my top hat, loosened my braces, and asked my butler to leave me in peace for a while so I can get down to writing a spiffing whizz-bang story about all the japes I got up to in my schooldays. I bet you can't wait to...
John Smith, of Scarborough, England, had not quite finished his dessert in the revolving restaurant atop the Skylon Tower, overlooking the Horseshoe Falls at Niagara Falls, Canada, when he saw the Mystery Blonde stand to leave her table.
He quickl...
NEW YORK CITY - Daniel Radcliffe, the star of the Harry Potter series recently had lunch at The Lips of The Dastardly Dragon Restaurant in Queens where he spoke with a reporter from The Right Coast Illustrated Revue.
Radcliffe first met Wasabi Ash...
Inside The White House: President Obama's mother-in-law lived her entire life in Chicago, so when she was invited to move into the White House she was somewhat apprehensive. Try it for a few months, her son-in-law suggested.
Mrs. Robinson has giv...
The Bronx - Coming off his successful snubbing of Major League Baseball's All-Star Game, Yankees' shortstop Derek Jeter has announced he will not show up for anymore regular-season games this year.
"The All-Star game gave me a chance to test o...
Followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, also known as Pastafarians, are no longer welcome in Saudi Arabia after a new law was passed banning them.
It is not known how many people in the deeply religious kingdom worship the noodly deity, but th...
HOLLYWOOD - Only Nick Cannon, the host of America's Got Talent and who is married to the stunningly sexy Mariah Carey could get away with wearing a fancy pink suit.
Even Cedric the Entertainer who was in the audience told him that he looked like h...
During the 2nd day of her hearing to obtain bail, Catherine Grieg, the blonde dental hygienist who helped Killer Gang Leader Whitey Bulger escape capture for 16 years detailed her life on the run while also tearfully pleading that Whitey was 'misunde...
Washington--President Obama ended his three year friendship with his Republican caddy Eric Mussel today.
"I was okay with Mr. Mussel questioning my choice of a nine iron instead of a seven iron on a long approach shot. But, when Mr. Mussel said t...
London - Sim cards found in the dead code-breaker's flat are to be scanned for signs of hacking a spooks' source claimed today.
Neatly laid-out on a sideboard 'in a pentagonal pattern' their discovery at the cryptographer's flat caused widespread...
If sending Churchill's bust back to England wasn't enough of an insult, President Obama continued his back handed slaps to the Island Realm by tying the country's signature dish of 'Mushy Peas' into his frustration at Congress's unwillingness to agr...
John Smith, of Scarborough, England, had not quite finished his dessert in the revolving restaurant atop the Skylon Tower, overlooking the Horseshoe Falls at Niagara Falls, Canada, when he saw the Mystery Blonde stand to leave her table.
He had, e...
London-Rupert Murdoch admitted that he is spying on Spoof writers because he fears their journalist integrity is killing his bottom line.
"I was disappointed when I discovered that most Spoof writers are so boring that my voyeuristic fantasies co...
Shadowy vigilante organisation, TV Repair Man, claimed a major victory today as it was announced that another high-profile production boss is to quit.
Ian Rumsey has been editor of ITV's troubled Daybreak for less than a year. The announcement tha...
After searching high and low for a good manager to take over the managing of the Macedonian International squad, the Macedonian FA are rumoured to have gone for Brian Little instead.
"I can't help but feel this shows a complete lack of ambition by...
Boston - Genetically modified high-octane potatoes 'mutated by global warming emissions' were being blamed for the illicit still blast today.
Firemen fought throughout the night as a 50,000-gallon distilling vat erupted close to Boston town centre...
Congressman Eric Cantor called a press conference this morning, looked angrily at the assembled journalists and shouted, "I am NOT a Pissant!"
As the journalists looked at each other in surprise and bewilderment, Cantor continued, "AND, I am not...
South Coast - Passengers likened the 8am tremor to 'Mile High Club fallout on steroids' as an earthquake struck the English Channel today.
"It turned my skinny latte into a foaming frappé-cino," Eurotunnel traveller Mrs Doris Lump said.
"The t...
Paris St Germain are determined to lure Moroccan footballing genius Adel Taarabt away from QPR.
After splashing the cash on French starlets Nicholas Douche and Pierre Putain, the French club PSG see the unpredictable Taarabt as the final piece in...
We spoke with the author of this list, Inchcock Chambers, who only had time to tell us that he'd 'Tried to use only old/rare words for the letter definitions, and keep them applicable to MPs - he had to go home them, because they lock the cemetery gates early on a Thursday.
M Mancation: (Maiming, Mutilating of hopes)
E Exsibilation: (Collective hisses of disaproval
M Modernicide: Killer of mo...
Thanks to Mr H Ogwash, for giving his permission for us use his article 'What you need to become an MP!', originally published in the 'Upper Denture Gazette' last May.
Created and written while under the influence of anaesthetics and medications, in a haze of half conciousness and nurses adjusting his dressings, it was his first effort after having Cardiac surgery. He was to have had brain surg...
The latest submission to the Upper Denture Gazette Ode competition, by Inchcock, presented for your perusal.
Beloweth you will find an ode written,
About the Coalition, with whom I'm not smitten,
Found on the back of the Beano, handwritten,
In the hope that someone will listen!
The Coalition was formed, and austerity they did enforce,
It didn't stop the MPs from going to Ascot racecour...
Security Guard required for work in the Nottingham area
Must be able to speak, and understand some English
Have own transport (Bicycle Or bus pass)
Be aged between 18 to 96 (Other ages considered)
Ex-taxi drivers welcome
It would be advantageous, if the applicant has the ability to be surly, sneer, spit, swear, and senticous (Prickly-thorny)
Be prepared to work up to 110 hours a...
TALKSPORT TOWERS, London: Review of the papers by "What's it MATTer, SCOTT of the Guardian!" Hah! Hah! Hah!, Thursday, 14th July 2011.
MATT SCOTT: "Here is a story that I really like in the Daily Express, 'British sports stars could be forced to wear the EU flag on their kit in the latest bid by Brussels to impose its symbols on the UK.' What's it matter? Hah! Hah! Hah!"
RAY STUBBS: "Hah...
An unknown man from Wisconsin, yesterday admitted to rumors of having sexual relations with his apartment.
The man, it is believed, committed the act, by placing his private part between a sliding door partition, in the middle of the apartment.
When somebody sneezes, it is polite to respond with "Bless You".
What do you do if they continue to sneeze, though? This handy guide will guide you through the minefield that is the Etiquette of Sneezing.
For the first sneeze, respond with the traditional "Bless You", even if neither you nor the person sneezing has any religious inclination. The response no longer has any religious overtones...
ENSENADA, Mexico - Julia Roberts and her husband flew down to Ensenada, Mexico to get away from all of the horrible reviews of her and Tom Hanks latest motion picture Larry Crowne.
Roberts, who is quite devastated at the fact that her latest movie...
At a contentious meeting on solving the US debt crises which included members of both leading parties of Congress as well as some other members of some other parties that no one could give a crap about, US President, Barack Obama, abruptly left at th...