Spoof news stories from July 2011
There were 955 spoof news stories published in July 2011. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Uproar In America Over Beckham Baby Name
There's been absolute uproar in the American press today, as the Beckhams, David and Victoria revealed that they are to name their baby 'West Side Crip.'
Conservative Americans turned their vitriol on the English footballer for naming his daughter...
Pete Doherty to lead commemorative Camden pub crawl in honor of Amy
London - The ex-Babyshambles singer will front a week-long wake in tribute to the NW1 singer, arranged by local cultural society Friends of Camden Lock, Stock & Smoking Barrel Enterprises.
Winehouse was the society's iconic poster girl and 'ra...
Man United Get Sponsored Nuclear Submarine To Rival City's Plane
Following the announcement that Manchester City's sponsors, Etihad have had a 737 painted in Manchester City's colours and emblazoned with the club crest, rivals united have announced that they have retaliated by getting a nuclear submarine, painted...
Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Admit That Their Sexting Has Made Their Relationship Stronger
HOLLYWOOD - The stars of the new movie The Vampire Diaries - The Erotically Titillating Movie Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder took a break from shooting the movie and spoke with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight.
Dobrev told de Gallo that the...
Mona Lisa "Stoned Out Of Her Mind" Say Art Historians
Paris, France-- A radical new interpretation of the Mona Lisa may have just solved the enigma of her famous smile. The secret, say art historians, is in the eyes. The Mona Lisa was stoned when she sat for her famous portrait by da Vinci. Art histo...
McCain's Space Shuttle hijack foiled: FBI cancels senator's 'mission to Mars'
Cape Canaveral, Florida - The FBI has thwarted a plot by Sen. John McCain (R-Arizona) to hijack the final mission of the US space shuttle and fly the craft to Mars.
"You can take the sky away from an old Navy pilot, but you can't take the old Navy...
Zac Efron and Heidi Montag Involved In An Intimate Shocker
EL SEGUNDO - Zac Efron and Heidi Montag recently happened to run into each other at a local Pizza Doll Restaurant in El Segundo.
Zac who recently was dating Vanessa Hudgens and then dumped her for Taylor Momsen and then got dumped by her for Gibby...
Manchester United's Chicharito has received a postcard from The Mystery Blonde
Chicharito admits to having received a postcard from Niagara Falls last week, signed "See you soon, MB".
Having followed stories about the Mystery Blonde and knowing one sighting of her was in Niagara Falls, he came to the conclusion that MB o...
Brad Pitt Is Furious At The Allegations That Angelina Jolie Gave Justin Theroux A 'Lap Dance'
ST. BARTS - West Indies - Angelina Jolie took what she called a much needed vacation all by herself away from her husband Brad Pitt and their half dozen kids.
Brad stayed back home in Provence, France while Angelina flew to St. Barts in the West I...
Maria Sharapova Voted Sexiest Armpits at Wimbledon
Wimbledon, which some think is mostly a British event, has come under a barrage of new international scrutiny for by the IAFA, the International Armpit Fetish Association.
Ivan Pectoralva, president of the IAFA announced that tennis is the greate...
Casey Anthony Jurors Ask Judge if They Can 'Take it Back'
ORLANDO, FL - In yet another shocking twist for a case that has gripped the nation, the 12 jurors who voted to acquit Casey Anthony of all murder charges in the death of her daughter Caylee, appear to be more than just "sick to their stomachs", and h...
All Innit Together, Dave: Rebekah Brooks reminds PM Cameron
London - The Red Top mobile hacking scandal took a reassuring turn for the better today.
News International boss and personal 'Big' Dave Cameron pal Rebekah Brooks invoked some legendary Dunkirk spirit with a gentle All Innit Together, Dave! nudge...
Rebekah Brooks's husband Charlie was webbed up with Grant Mitchell
Revelations about the murky criminal past of Rebekah Brooks's husband Charlie Brooks have rocked the Establishment.
Charlie Brooks, now masquerading as an aristocrat novelist, is believed to have been involved in cocaine addiction, prostitution an...
Sandra Bullock Says She Loves George Clooney's Sense of Humor, Clooney Says He Loves Bullock's Lips
SAN TROPEZ, France - George Clooney and Sandra Bullock have long been long time friends and that friendship now seems to be blossoming nicely into something seductively stronger.
Sandra recently rushed to George's side after he ended his two year...
Ke$ha Explains The Britney Spears Lesbian Rumors
HACIENDA HEIGHTS - Ke$ha recently spoke with Tapioca Swizzle of Tittle Tattle Tonight at a Pizza Gal Restaurant in Hacienda Heights.
The singer who had a big hit with her song "We R Who We Say We R" and then with her follow up song "We B Who We Sa...
Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson And Rupert Grint Not Killed in Tragic Car Accident
Spokespersons for Twilight and Harry Potter teen movie idols, Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint today moved extremely quickly to quash rumours that the famous fivesome had met a tragic demise in a car a...
Lingerie model Florence Brudenell-Bruce backing David Haye
Aristocratic boxing fan Florence 'Flee' Brudenell-Bruce is getting ready to rumble.
The fit and toned lingerie model, who according to her personal trainer Rupert Bear-Bottom "is in the best shape of her life", will be cheering on David 'The Hayma...
The Former Mrs. Tiger Woods, Elin Nordegren Seen Sensuously Snuggling Up A Storm With A Swedish Billionaire
STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Elin Nordegren has long since forgotten about old Tiger what's-his-name. She has not heard the words Cadillac Escalade, GolfGate, or WeenieBoy mentioned in a long time.
Since leaving the man who became known throughout the nati...
Queen's Reaction To Rafael Nadal's Shorts Routine
Wimbledon, England: After viewing the first set of Wimbledon's semi-finals between Rafael Nadal and Andrew Murray, the Queen leaned over to her gentleman in waiting seated to her left and was overheard to inquire: Why did Mr. Nadal repeatedly appeare...
Rob Pattinson Reveals His Secret Crush To Co-Stars Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder
HOLLYWOOD - The star of the Twilight series Rob Pattinson is starring with Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder in a motion picture which is based on their hit show The Vampire Diaries.
The movie which is being directed by Manolo Middlezuck is entitled...
Two of The Favored 'America's Got Talent' Performers Cindy Chang and Ryan Andreas Are Sent Home
LAS VEGAS - Well it appears that America's Got Talent's 'Vegas Week' was not very kind to two of this years contestants.
Opera singer Cindy Chang and keyboard singer Ryan Andreas, who were early on fan favorites did not make the cut.
And many a...
Camden's Hawley Arms warned patrons of 'toxic smack' amid Amy Winehouse RIP
London - Her favorite bar stool is draped in back silk tonight with the legend 'Amy Winehouse 1983-2011' in gilt (sic) letters confirming the tragedy.
At her favorite NW1 watering hole this evening the atmosphere is grim as news of her death rocks...
Stewart Sports New Hairstyle
Kristen Stewart, alleged girlfriend of vampire heart throb Robert Pattinson, was seen by shocked fans this morning leaving a top LA hair salon with a new hairdo.
Her new hairstyle was swiftly hidden under a cap, aupon seeing fans who had waited al...
Angelina Jolie Is Reportedly Out To Steal Jennifer Aniston's Boyfriend Justin Theroux
NEW ORLEANS - Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt brought their half dozen children to the Big Easy to get away from the hustle and bustle of their hometown Provence, France.
And while Brad was treating the kids to some Fun Meals at a local Burger Bandit...
Taylor Swift Talks About Her Illness
NASHVILLE - One of country music's most popular young singers Taylor Swift is really upset that she has had to cancel two of her music concerts.
The vibrant 21-year-old from Wyomissing, Pennsylvania stated that she has been dealing with a bout of...
Looming NASA layoffs sparks quasar renaming campaign
A massive glob of water 140 trillion times the volume of the earth's oceans was recently discovered 12 billion light years away surrounding a quasar in deep space.
The revelation proves water is prevalent throughout the universe, even in its most...
George Clooney and Sandra Bullock Seen Embracing Intimately In Dublin, Ireland
DUBLIN - Two weeks ago George Clooney dumped his girlfriend of two years Elisabetta Canalis.
And just recently he was spotted in Dublin's Sons of Killarney Diner engaged in an intimate, playful, embrace with Sandra Bullock which included tongue w...
Shock for some Manchester United fans as American Commentators continue to refer to Manchester United as Man U.
It came as a shock to some avid Manchester Unit fans to learn that American and Canadian commentators DO in fact refer to their beloved team as Man. U.
Some British fans gathered at a friend's house to watch their beloved Manchester United team pl...
Giant Marijuana Farm The Size Of Kansas Found In Kansas
Ganja, KS-- An enormous marijuana farm covering the entire state of Kansas has been located by the DEA (Drug Enforcement Agency). Over 100 trillion marijuana plants were spotted using infra-red satellites and a fleet of DEA helicopters. The farm co...
Sharapova's boyfriend has confirmed that her grunt is actually a horny Siberian Moose mating call!
Maria Sharapova, Queen of the grunting Queens, has made her comeback, turned up the volume once more and reached the Wimbledon final.
The other three semi-finalists also drove the crowds bananas with their grunting too and they all just happened t...
Winehouse Drug Addiction "Not Funny Now She's Dead"
Media sources have revealed that the fact that Amy Winehouse had drug and alcohol problems ceased to be amusing the very minute she died.
Before that, obviously, the fact that she was merely clearly going to die young, was absolutely fucking hilar...
12 year old boy dies after playing PS3 for 120 hours
A 12 year old boy from Scotland has died after playing his Playstation 3 for 120 hours solid.
Grant Thomson of Aberdeen was last seen entering his bedroom after school on Friday afternoon and refused to leave again.
His distraught mother descri...
Authorities Fear Copycat Incidents in Penis Dismemberment Case
In the aftermath of a vicious and disarming attack against a Southern California man, authorities in Garden Grove, California are warning citizens about what they are calling the "imminent threat of copy cat crimes."
Catherine Kieu Becker's bail w...
Pixie Lott In Tiny Hotpants Ousts Rebekah Brooks Arrest Off The Front Pages
So, if the rumours are to be believed, the police have finally arrested Rebekah Brooks in connection with the News Of The World phone hacking scandal, which could signal that Rupert Murdoch's vast media empire is about to collapse around him like the...
The Truth Behind The Jennifer Lopez - Marc Anthony Divorce
BROOKLYN - Marc Anthony recently spoke with a reporter for The Right Coast Illustrated Revue and talked about the real reasons why his wife of seven years Jennifer Lopez filed for divorce.
Marc sat down at the famed Le Loins of Joan of Arc Restaur...
Obama files for divorce
The Executive Branch of the US Government filed a petition with the Judicial Branch yesterday, requesting a divorce from the Legislative Branch.
Obama cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for wanting a legal split from Congress.
The...
WTF 'Rebekah Brooks is Neil Kinnock's daughter'??
London - The beleaguered News International CEO is a dead ringer for the ex-Labour leader, ennobled to Baron Kinnock of Bedwetty - er...Bedwellty! - by Tony Blair.
"Stick a long curly hairpiece on his pate and whaddyagot?" a Daily Smearer editoria...
As U.S. Space Shuttle Program Ends, Extraterrestrials Say HOORAY
In some quarters, there's a lot of sadness and nostalgia that the U.S. Space Shuttle Program is ending.
Not so in outer space. Most of the folks there are delighted.
Extraterrestrials are sick of American attempts to colonize THEIR space. They wish they'd just go home and stay put.
One little female extraterrestrial was heard to say, "It's not bad enough that Americans think they ca...
Prince William in shocking Aston Villa rant
Prince William has shocked locals in a Windsor newsagents with a foul mouthed rant about his football team Aston Villa.
It is not the first time the Prince, a diehard Claret and Blues fan, has 'done one' after his favourite players have been tran...
Donald Trump's Daughter Ivanka Gives Birth To a Baby Girl - President Obama Says He Wants To See The Birth Certificate
NEW YORK CITY - Donald Trump is the proud grandfather of a baby girl that his daughter Ivanka and her husband Jared Kushner have named Arabella Rose, after the official Republican flower of Sarah Palin's Tea Bag Party.
Little Arabella Rose Kushner...
Robert Plant Mistaken For Rebekah Brooks, Briefly Arrested
London, England-- Rock star Robert Plant was taken into custody yesterday by Scotland Yard in a case of mistaken identity. The legendary singer of Led Zeppelin was mistaken for Rebekah Brooks, the central figure in the Rupert Murdoch hacking scandal...
Heidi Montag To Replace Cheryl Cole and Join Kristen Stewart and Vanessa Hudgens in The TV Series "Vampire Vixens Gone Wild"
HOLLYWOOD - The producer of the soon-to-be filmed television series Vampire Vixens Gone Wild had to do some fancy maneuvering after one of the stars Cheryl Cole suddenly left America and returned to her home in England.
Bandini Borrapelli informed...
Pie-in-the-B-Sky-B as Murdochs stage cream cake stunt
London - A cream pie-in-the-gob that smeared Rupert Murdoch on live TV may have been a NewsCorpse own-goal PR stunt.
Hours of tricky questioning had seen the octogenarian media mogul struggling to convince a Parliamentary committee when the lone p...
Facial Recognition systems - closing the security loophole
With the increasing use of Facial Recognition to access computers, there is a move towards making them more secure.
"Currently," said chief software developer at Facial Recognition Organisation Group, Freddie Kermit, "these systems are quite secur...
Elin Nordegren Shocks Her New Billionaire Boyfriend By Telling Him He Will Not Get Past 'Third Base'
STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Sweden's richest woman Elin Nordegren who came about her $342 million from her divorce settlement from Tiger Woods aka "Dick With Feet" has laid down the ground rules to her new boyfriend one of Sweden's richest bachelor's James "...
Heidi Montag and Zac Efron Spotted Moonbathing Down In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Zac Efron who starred in The High School Musical movies and Heidi Montag who gained fame on MTVs The Hills have recently become quite the item.
Both were recently seen underneath the Santa Monica Pier where several unnamed...
Federal Government Moving To Disney World
Orlando, Florida -- Unable to afford escalating real estate prices in Washington DC, the US government is relocating to Disney World.
The move, which will include both houses of Congress, the executive branch, and the Supreme Court, is expected to...
Rihanna Shaken In Happy Slapping Incident At Sandwich British Open Golf Championship
US R&B icon, Rihanna of the red head, (No hair, just a red head - That's enough of that - Ed) was left shaken during a visit to Sandwich on a flying visit to take in a rather soggy British Open Golf Championship.
Rihanna, who sang a song about...
Rebekah Brooks Defended
Sources close to a beleaguered Rebekah Brooks have today moved to defend the News International Executive from what they view is undue criticism
There is no evidence at all, they point out, at least no actually incontrovertible evidence like a pie...
Amy Winehouse Dead: Singer Found At Home In Suspected Overdose
Smack Rat Amy Winehouse was today found dead in her North London pad. The R'N'B star was today confirmed to have been found in a pool of her own vomit, surrounded by dirty socks and needles.Although authorities are keeping tight lipped about events e...
Bong-shaped UFO over Winehouse pad on night of her RIP - reports
London - A giant flying bong from outer space was seen hovering over Camden Square last weekend close to Amy Winehouse's two million quid pad.
Eyewitnesses reported seeing curly plumes of pungent smoke above the NW1 rooftops as the craft spelled o...
Pamela Anderson has the boobs and bum of a 22 year old, she's 44!
Pamela Anderson has modelled her latest collection of very sexy undies herself and astonished the world because her boobs and bum are those of a 22 year-old and she's just turned 44!
Pam has had a pretty raunchy life ever since she left the Baywat...
Green Group Boycotts the Sun
Washington DC: Supporters of alternative energy lobby group Americans For Long Term Renewable Energy have flocked to the nation's capital this week, calling on congress to introduce legislation limiting America's reliance on the sun.
The group's s...
Lingerie model Florence Brudenell-Bruce "has hots" for Rafa Nadal
Stunning blonde tennis babe Florence 'Flee' Brudenell-Bruce has told followers on Twitter that she has a "whopping crush" on the hunky Spaniard Rafa Nadal.
She tweeted girlfriend Pippa Middleton, who also confessed to having "the hots for the das...
Selena Gomez Spotted Eating Half a Pizza and Two Pickles - And The Pregnant Rumors Fly
VENICE BEACH - Selena Gomez was seen at a local Pizza Doll in Venice Beach with her hair stylist FuFi Fondue of Beverly Hills. The two were sitting in a booth enjoying a pizza that had been run through the garden.
The giggling couple could be hear...
The NBA Lockout Causes L.A. Lakers Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol To Take Chinese Lessons At UCLA So They Can Go Play In China
LOS ANGELES - NBA Commissioner David Stern has issued an NBA Lockout. The Collective Bargaining Agreement was tossed into the trash can along with yesterday's newspaper, KFC fast food bags, and the dozens of Starbucks cappuccinos, frappuccinos, and l...
Jennifer Aniston Showed So Much Skin In 'Horrible Bosses' That Ex-Husband Brad Pitt Made A Very Interesting Comment
LOS ANGELES - Jennifer Aniston turned into a brunette for her latest role in Horrible Bosses in which she portrays Dr. Julia Harris, D.D.S. and she definitely shot some great big holes in the old adage that 'blondes have more fun.'
Aniston, who is...
Rebekah Brooks meets Carrot Top in secret
Rebekah Brooks recently heard about the resemblance noted between herself and US Comedian 'Carrot Top'. She was so intrigued that she set up a secret meeting with Scott (his real name).
They sat down at a small table in a basement cafe downtown L...
Rebekah Brooks's husband publishes Slags book
When Rebekah Brooks's husband Charlie published his first book in 2009, David Cameron, Rupert Murdoch and Guy Ritchie attended the launch at Nincompoop, the West End nightclub.
The complex novel,called Fillies, covered a world Brooks knew well as...
Obama and Boehner agree: 'We're not good at math'
Washington DC -- Pres. Obama and House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) have reached an agreement in their debt ceiling negotiations.
The two leaders signed off on a joint statement today. It declared: "We're not good at math. So we've hired H&R...
Golders Green Crematorium send-off for Amy on Tuesday
London - The Crem-de-la-Creme of the entertainment industry's famous farewell venues will host tomorrow's final goodbye to North London diva Amy Winehouse.
The Italianate-style Hoop Lane, NW11 facility has seen off Britain's finest including showb...
Wimbledon 2011: Maria Sharapova To Wear Crotchless Knickers In Final
Maria Sharapova, who yesterday reached the Wimbledon Women's singles final for the first time since 2004 after beating the German wildcard, Sabine Lisicki, has announced that she will play Saturday's match against Petra Kvitova wearing a pair of crot...
Arsene Wenger wants Adel Taarabt to replace Fabregas as Arsenal captain
Arsene Wenger wants QPR's Moroccan playmaker Adel Taarabt to replace Cesc Fabregas as captain of Arsenal.
Arsenal have tabled a bid of £20 million to prize the talented 22 year old away from newly promoted QPR.
With Fabregas moving to Barcelona...
Robert Pattinson To Star In New Guy Ritchie Movie
Twilight sex symbol Robert Pattinson - who stars as star-crossed boy vampire Edwin Culvert in the Twilight movies about a hapless boy vampire whose fangs haven't come through because he's still got his milk teeth - is set to star in English director...
Spider sparks terror alert at Manchester Airport
A spider triggered an evacuation of Manchester Airport today when it was mistaken for a terror attack.
It was not a massive mutated beast crushing planes under one of it's eight feet. It wasn't even a venomous spider. Or hairy. It was an ordinary...
'Djokovic cheated' with incessant ball bouncing and could be stripped of Grand Slam title
London - The mood is grim in SW19 tonight as tennis governing body officials begin studying footage of the Men's Singles Finals win.
And reigning champion Rafael Nadal may yet be reinstated as the horrible truth of his Serb victor's delaying tacti...
Angelina Jolie dating Justin Bieber
Angelina Jolie stopped into an internet cafe earlier today and not only opened up about her relationship with Justin Bieber, but confirmed it! She was wearing a small, pink dress with blush on her cheeks and her hair was tied in two pony tails.
"...
Apple's Steve Jobs is new financial planner for the USA
An apple a day is suppose to keep the doctor away, but in this case, maybe it can keep the government from going belly up. The founder of Apple makes more money and has more money on hand than our very own government. Steve Jobs ability to run a com...
Sharapova Mania Sweeps Burnley, Lancashire
It's official - Burnley, Lancashire, has come down with a severe case of Sharapove mania. Unemployed wasters in the town - famous for having Britain's cheapest house - have taken to Maria Sharapova, and huddle around TV sets whenever the Russian tenn...
Palin Blames Dismal Movie Debut on Witchcraft and Harry Potter
Orange County CA (AP) Defeated Vice Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin's new documentary "Undefeated" opened in selected theaters to abysmal ticket sales and largely negative reviews. The documentary, which some critics have termed, "a sickening self p...
Rash of flying saucer-shaped wedding hats 'proves royals are all aliens'
Scotland - Their tin-foil linings aren't always visible to paparazzi lenses because of Palace deals aimed at stopping the Queen's relatives looking stoopid.
But yesterday's Edinburgh turnout saw a new outbreak of daft UFO-shaped fascinators as Hou...
Fergie's Husband Josh Duhamel Denies He's Cheating With Transformer's Co-Star Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - The Black-Eyed Peas broke the attendance record at The Cheddar Cheese Convention Center, formerly known as The Cheddar Cheese Arena with their recent performance.
The newly-remodeled convention center went from having a seat...
Nafissatou Diallo gets a $10 million dollar deal
Nafissatou Diallo signed a $10 million endorsement deal with Louis Vuitton and has become the new face of the French fashion house.
The stunning beauty, Nafissatou Diallo, will be featured in the new summer 2011 advertising campaign of the Frenc...
Scientists Confirm Paris Hilton's Theory, The Earth is HOT
With reports of Albert Einstein physically turning over in his grave, scientists have recently confirmed that the popular theory made famous by media favorite, Paris Hilton, that the Earth is indeed "HOT".
Measuring the radioactive decay of our pl...
Charlie Sheen booted out of Scientology Movement
Nutty fruitcake and general winner, Charlie 'they named it after me' Sheen has been kicked out of the Scientology movement for being too much of a nut job.
"I was asked to pass on the bad news," said Scientology's leading light, Tom Cruise. "Me an...
Charlie Sheen Wants To Buy The Los Angeles Dodgers
LOS ANGELES - Charlie Sheen, the man who threw away the number one comedy show in America (Two and A Half Men) and who recently lost both of his goddesses along with lots of common sense brain cells [double negative alert!] cannot stand not to be in...
'Trashy' Zara in fake tan riddle
Edinburgh - Z-Listers' sartorial frock-horror plummeted new depths on Friday as Zara Phillips took centre stage in an asymmetrical fake tan and mini-dress combo.
The one-shouldered tie-dye gown was casually draped over a part-tanned torso revealin...
America's Got Talent: Opera Singing Sensation Cindy Chang Says She Owes Her Amazing Voice To Olive Oil
HOLLYWOOD - This year's version of America's Got Talent is starting to shape up into a singer's competition.
So forget about the sick sword swallower's, the silly paint splattered nymphodiva dancer wannabees, and the funky folks who pierce various...
Susan Boyle Tells Cindy Chang She Wants Her To Be Her Opening Act On Her Upcoming Trans Asian Concert Tour
BLACKBURN, Scotland - Susan Boyle sat in the garden of her home in Blackburn, West Lothian drinking a glass of tea and having a pomegranate crumpet as she spoke with a reporter for the national news agency.
Boyle became famous throughout the world...
Nadya "Octomom" Suleman Says She Can't Afford Her 14 Kids - Kate Gosselin Tells Her She'll Take Them All
READING, Pennsylvania - Well it appears that Kate Gosselin's reality television show may have to change its name from Kate Plus 8 to Kate Plus 22.
Kate "The Great" Gosselin heard about the financial, emotional, physical, and mental problems that N...
Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato To Record The Beatles "Yellow Submarine"
MALIBU BEACH - Three of the top singing sensations in America, Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato recently learned while swimming at the beach home of their good friend Twilight star Rob Pattinson that they all love Beatles music.
As the...
Jennifer Lopez Denies She's Secretly Seeing William Levy
BROOKLYN - Since announcing to the world that she is divorcing her husband of seven years Marc "Señor Control Freak" Anthony, Jennifer Lopez' phone has pretty much been ringing non-stop.
Of course she is letting every call go to voicemail as she p...
Kat Von D Gets Fat to Hide Jesse James Tattooed Face
Supporting the urban truth that accepting a tattoo of your lover signals the end of a relationship, Jesse James has split from L.A. Ink Star Kat Von D following her recent acceptance of a full facial tattoo of James on her belly. Von D has reportedl...
Christina Aguilera and Charlie Sheen Spotted Down In Ensenada, Mexico Playing 'Tonsil Hockey'
ENSENADA, Mexico - It appears that Charlie "The Space Cadet" Sheen may just have gotten over the heartbreak of having lost both of his "Goddesses."
Bedroom Pillow Talk is reporting that the ex-Two and Half Men star was seen having a 'sandtastic' t...
Horrified Taylor Momsen In Tears After Happy Slapping Incident In London's Leicester Square
Taylor Momsen, star of the US TV series 'Gossip' and lead singer with rock band, 'The Pretty Reckless' was resting in her hotel suite this afternoon after falling victim to a 'happy slapping' incident in London's Leicester Square, in the heart of the...
Carlos Irwin Estevez Has Sent Resume to Tiger Woods Applying For Job of Caddy
Tiger Woods is caddyless and is advertising for a new caddy.
This morning amongst the pile of resumes he received was a fifteen page resume from someone named Carlos Irwin Estevez. Not recognizing the name Tiger was about to put the resume on the...
The Little Known Funny Side of Amy Winehouse
LONDON - There is no denying that the late Amy Winehouse was a talented singer who lived on the edge and who knew the consequences of her actions.
And even though no one can deny that there were certainly demons that sometimes lurked within her, t...
Javier 'Chicharito' Hernandez, Manchester United player, being stalked by sexy TAG
The Daily Tacky today published a disturbing story Chicharito of Man. U. is apparently being stalked by a sexy member of the newly formed TAGs group (Tarts And Girlfriends of football fans).
This is a strange move as the TAGs spokeswoman did say t...
The Truth Behind The Kennedy Family Wedding Free-For-All Feud: Ethel, Vicki, and Joan All Bared Their Claws!
CAPE COD, Massachusetts - Patrick and Amy Kennedy's wonderful Kennedy Hyannis Port Compound wedding will be one which they will certainly always look back on with joy, happiness, excitement, and puzzlement.
Everything went as planned, the place wa...
Norwegian Killer Is A Right Wing Nazi Nutter
A 32 year old Norwegian man has been arrested following a bomb blast in Oslo, and a spree killing episode on the holiday island of Utoya which has left at least 92 people dead.
Norwegians are understandably shocked and horrified by the events which took place in their country, a nation renowned for its tolerance and high standards.
Early reports indicate that the man who planted the bomb and...
The Reason Why The Top-Rated Sit-Com 'Modern Family' Fired Cute, Little Baby Lily
HOLLYWOOD - In a move that has sent shock waves from Tinsel Town to The Big Apple, Baby Lily the sweet little adopted Vietnamese daughter of the gay couple on the number one hit comedy show Modern Family has been fired.
Voodoo Dupree of The West H...
Even non-football fans may enjoy Arsene Wenger and Kenny Dalglish's new idea
News has leaked out that Aresene Wenger, manager of Arsenal FC and Kenny Dalglish, manager of Liverpool FC have come up with a unique way of 'merging' teams.
This has never been done in the history of football and this upcoming season will determi...
Eric Cantor: "I am NOT a *Pissant!"
Congressman Eric Cantor called a press conference this morning, looked angrily at the assembled journalists and shouted, "I am NOT a Pissant!"
As the journalists looked at each other in surprise and bewilderment, Cantor continued, "AND, I am not...
Lions Face Films Cancels The Rob Pattinson - Taylor Lautner Movie 'The Amazing Secrets Of The Taliban' Due To Extreme Pressure From The Taliban
LOS ANGELES - A spokesman representing Lions Face Films has informed the motion picture industry that production on The Amazing Secrets of The Taliban movie has been cancelled.
Cleveland Clackerwitz a high ranking executive with Lions Face informe...
New A3 Tunnel Will Not Open
Following the failure of an emergency services test recently, it has been revealed that the new £155,000 a metre tunnel under Hindhead's iconic Devil's Punchbowl will now never be opened.
A recent "crash test" revealed that the drainage for the ne...
Carlos Tevez 'comes out' and signs for Brighton and Hove Albion
Carlos Tevez has come out of the closet and joined newly promoted Brighton and Hove Albion.
The 'Seagulls' have fancied Tevez for some time and have swooped with a cheeky bid to land the moody Argie.
Club spokesperson Sandy Bottom told excit...
Evolutionist Bird Brains
The saga of Harry Potter may have concluded, but fans of myth and fantasy need not despair - evolutionists are still manufacturing fairy stories with a vengeance.
Archaeopteryx, one of the mythical poster-children of the evolution fallacy has been...
Queen Elizabeth II Accepts Invite to U.S. Marine Corps Ball
First it was Mila Kunis, then Justin Timberlake, each accepting a Marine's invitation to the Marine Corps Ball to be held in November in Greenville, North Carolina.
Now it's been revealed that there's at least one other famous invitee who has acc...
Crystal Harris Slams Hefner's Sexual Prowess, Hefner Responds with a Wink and a Nod
During Crystal Harris's recent appearance on the Howard Stern Show, the former playmate and soft porn mogul girlfriend spoke openly about her former 85 year old boyfriend and his proclivity for rapid response to stimulation.
"He lasted two secon...
Darren Clarke Wins British Open, Refuses Breathalyzer Test!
Forty-two year old Irishman Darren Clarke, who is said to fancy a pint now and then as well as a good cigar, waltzed home at 5 under par to taken home the Claret Jug at Royal St. George at Sandwich!
The win sent Irish country men rushing to their...
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