Funny story:  Time To Get Up And Go To Work

Time To Get Up And Go To Work

I'm getting older these days, and life doesn't get much easier, but a man has to do what a man has to do. I'm pretty fit, and sometimes I can compete with people half my age. But I started to feel a little bit vulnerable lately. Not only physically, but mentally too. I suspect sometimes that I'm devolving into an idiot. Maybe I am - but as long as I can take a fair stab at the Times crossword a...
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Funny story:  John Travolta drops 50 pounds on the Victoria Beckham diet after giving birth to son

John Travolta drops 50 pounds on the Victoria Beckham diet after giving birth to son

Scientologist John Travolta the first male-celeb to become pregnant and give birth has undergone a dramatic change in appearance. Just days after giving birth to his third child, the 1970s Vinnie Barbarino heart-throb appears to have rid himself of...
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Funny story:  Blue Cockerel for that 4th plinth in Trafalgar Square

Blue Cockerel for that 4th plinth in Trafalgar Square

Cock of the north or a cock and bull story, it's all about Cocky Cameron and it's blue! What could be more British than a cockerel? Erm, a bulldog or even an Aberdeen Angus bull would seem appropriate. But, no, some daft eedjit has decided to have...
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Funny story:  Pope John Paul II to receive beatification

Pope John Paul II to receive beatification

It was discovered that the Vatican plans on putting Pope John Paul II one step closer to becoming a saint through a process known as beatification even though he never discovered a cure for any human diseases or developed any major invention to help...
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Funny story:  Canadian government sentences Vancouver's rich, inhumane Chinese property owners protesting hospice, to Great White North 'Re-education labor camps'

Canadian government sentences Vancouver's rich, inhumane Chinese property owners protesting hospice, to Great White North 'Re-education labor camps'

Vancouver, Canada - As the world struggles with the lack of basic human-rights in China an unusual and surreal farce is unfolding in Vancouver, BC - home of the 2010 Olympics. There, dozens of rich Chinese residents of a posh UBC high rise building...
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Funny story:  Dr. Phil sends Ted Williams to Rehab

Dr. Phil sends Ted Williams to Rehab

There's no denying Ted Williams does have a fantastic voice. He's the guy who went from riches to rags and wants to get back to the riches. The video clip of Ted Williams panhandling - approaching a car - has had millions of hits on You Tube but there is definitely no fooling Dr. Phil Y'all. After all he's been doing this for over 30 years. Ted reminds me of the character 'Lurch' from th...
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Funny story:  Gay rodents in NY jails love biting inmates penis!

Gay rodents in NY jails love biting inmates penis!

The case of a coloured prisoner having his penis bitten by a rodent whilst in the NY slammer called Nassau is causing a sensation in the US. The prisoner, Peter Solomon, claims he was sleeping when a "gay" rodent jumped out of his matress and star...
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Funny story:  Berlusconi and Lawrence Taylor get tricked by the same Prostitute!

Berlusconi and Lawrence Taylor get tricked by the same Prostitute!

From the department of "How the F**K does this happen" it appears that the same prostitute who convinced Lawrence Taylor that she was 19 has now, according to Reuters, tricked Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi that she was 18. The girl was only 16 years old when Mr. Taylor dipped his wick and 17 when Minister Berlusconi stuffed her cannoli. According to WikiSquirt sources in our Rome...
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Funny story:  Gordon Ramsay Denies Ownership of Hair in Soup

Gordon Ramsay Denies Ownership of Hair in Soup

Friends of Gordon Ramsay have tonight denied that a hair found in a bowl of his speciality Scottish soup ever belonged to him. Friends say the super Chef's hair is firmly fixed to his head and does not fall out. Gordon was backed up on this...
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Funny story:  SuBo fanatics gatecrash house warming party!

SuBo fanatics gatecrash house warming party!

Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies are today boasting about their plans to gatecrash SuBo's house warming party this coming weekend. The party, at SuBo's new Blackburn home, is for family, friends, and selected celebrities only, but the...
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Funny story:  First Annual Dick Convention to be Held

First Annual Dick Convention to be Held

Dallas - The Dicks are coming - thousands of them. Dallas will host the First Annual Dick Convention in June. "It's all about showing off our Dicks," said event spokesman Dick Heart. The convention will feature speeches from prominent Dick...
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Funny story:  Butch Lesbian Attacks 81-year-old woman

Butch Lesbian Attacks 81-year-old woman

Heavens Gate - An elderly woman named Madeline Klima, who is 81-years-old, was mugged in the subway last week by a Butch Lesbian. While attacking Klima, the Butch Lesbian screamed at her that women never gave her a reach around and she was collecting...
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Funny story:  PETA Threatens to Sue Lady Gaga for Wearing Meat Bathing Suit!

PETA Threatens to Sue Lady Gaga for Wearing Meat Bathing Suit!

Filice DeLinsky, a senior member of the animal rights group, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has ran an article in the New York Times Evening Edition last night against performer Lady Gaga who was scheduled to wear a meat swimsuit...
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Funny story:  John Paul II beautification date set for April 1st

John Paul II beautification date set for April 1st

Rome - (Holy Shit!): The final coats of whitewash will ensure a permanent glossy varnish on Karol Wojtyla's undeniably hideous, sordid life. This has included the mysterious death of his predecessor Pope John Paul 1 - whose 30 day reign was report...
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Funny story:  "Mad Bomber" Bill Ayers and Bernadette Dohrn Laughing thier Ass off At US Uproar over Sarah Palin!

"Mad Bomber" Bill Ayers and Bernadette Dohrn Laughing thier Ass off At US Uproar over Sarah Palin!

Weatherman and SDS bomb throwers Bill Ayers and hippie wife Bernadette Dohrn hosted a cocktail party in Chicago to celebrate the media toasting of Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh and Glenn back after the tragic shooting in Arizona left 6 dead. Not note...
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Funny story:  Leading male spoof writer starts club for henpecked husbands

Leading male spoof writer starts club for henpecked husbands

It's one thing to be cock of the walk on the top spoof writers table. It's another thing to always have to give in to an argy-bargy with the missus with the words - "Yes Dear". Frustrated with being low man on the totem pole in the family nest, t...
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Funny story:  Man Trapped by Facebook

Man Trapped by Facebook

A local man was trapped today using the social networking site Facebook. The man became trapped after an unprecedented number of posts were written on his wall, causing it to become unstable and collapse on top of him. Fire-fighters spent sever...
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Funny story:  BBC to go Off-Air for at Least Two Months due to Magnetic Shift

BBC to go Off-Air for at Least Two Months due to Magnetic Shift

The government have announced they have been informed by the BBC that they will have to go off-air for an anticipated period of at least two months beginning from early March this year following confirmation from NASA that the earth's magnetic poles...
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Funny story:  Paris Hilton Resents That The Media Has Labeled Sarah Palin As Being "The Paris Hilton of Politics"

Paris Hilton Resents That The Media Has Labeled Sarah Palin As Being "The Paris Hilton of Politics"

BEVERLY HILLS - Paris Hilton was sitting in The Haven of Hair Salon getting her split ends cut, her black roots dyed blonde, her nose hairs trimmed, and her ear lobes botoxed. Her hair stylist FuFi Fondue told her that he had just read in Left Coa...
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Funny story:  York's Ripper - never to be released 'A throw back to the 70's'

York's Ripper - never to be released 'A throw back to the 70's'

A team of law lords decided today mass murderer Peter Sutcliffe will never be released from prison unless he cuts his hair. They said that to release him today would be an unfathomable crime against modern day society. One Law Lord the right hono...
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Funny story:  Justin Bieber Hospitalized After Allergic Reaction To AZT

Justin Bieber Hospitalized After Allergic Reaction To AZT

Legendary crooner and confirmed bachelor Justin Bieber[/color] scared the sh-t out of the cast of 'CSI' Wednesday, when he had trouble breathing and fainted after an allergic reaction to the anti-retroviral drug AZT. "We have to see Marg Helgenber...
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Funny story:  Limbaugh Proves Arizona Shooter is Psychic

Limbaugh Proves Arizona Shooter is Psychic

Much to the delight of his listening audience, crow connoisseur, Rush Limbaugh, has claimed that Arizona shooter, Jared Lee Loughner, is not insane, but psychic. "It's true," the egg-splattered Limbaugh proclaimed Wednesday, while doing a mind-bending radio segment about repealing the Job-killing Obamacare Plan for Dirty Illegal Mexicans and Other Parasites. The victimized Limbaugh accused...
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Funny story:  Astrologists, Tattoo Parlors Cash In On Horoscope Shake-up.

Astrologists, Tattoo Parlors Cash In On Horoscope Shake-up.

Astrologists and tattoo artists are cashing in on the first innovation to their bullsh-t pseudo-science in 3,000 years, following the recent news that the traditional Zodiac schedule was changing. Astronomer Parke Kunkle, who spent the day masturb...
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Funny story:  Zac Efron and Scarlett Johansson Caught Necking Just Below The Big "Hollywood" Sign

Zac Efron and Scarlett Johansson Caught Necking Just Below The Big "Hollywood" Sign

HOLLYWOOD - The national news program Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that unnamed reliable inside sources saw Zac Efron and Scarlett Johansson involved in what can best be described as an erotic passion clutch. The couple was spotted in a 2009...
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Funny story:  Klingon to be adopted as the first language of Jamaica

Klingon to be adopted as the first language of Jamaica

In a controversial move, Jamaica is to adopt the artificial language Klingon as its official first language. The decision comes after the only speaker of the aboriginal language of Jamaica, Henry Brown, died on Monday taking with him the language of...
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Funny story:  Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Accompanies Bristol Palin on Walmart Shopping Trip

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Accompanies Bristol Palin on Walmart Shopping Trip

Phoenix, AZ - The Governor of Arizona is beside herself to have a member of Tea Party royalty living in the fair city of Phoenix. To show her appreciation, Governor Jan Brewer accompanied Bristol Palin to a local Walmart store to help her pick out dr...
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Funny story:  Taylor Swift Shocker: She Has A Crush On Adam Lambert

Taylor Swift Shocker: She Has A Crush On Adam Lambert

WEST HOLLYWOOD - The Tinsel Town Times Tribune is reporting that Taylor Swift, the sweet little country songstress has confided that she finds Adam Lambert extremely attractive. The popular recording artist confided in her bass guitarist that she...
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Funny story:  Coalition government 'endeavours' to change lots of things

Coalition government 'endeavours' to change lots of things

Many are now saying our government are 'big on promises but short on delivery.' 'We are considering a cap on immigration, We plan to ban vehicle clamping,' and 'We don't intend to raise VAT,' have all been heard in the last 12 months but what went...
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Funny story:  Is "The Return of Rosalie" the Next Twilight Book?

Is "The Return of Rosalie" the Next Twilight Book?

The latest rumor among Twilight fans is about a possible new book, not the first part of "Breaking Dawn" although the two-part movie is certainly much anticipated. "They all started from the books and the movies have been great, especially Robert...
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Funny story:  Breastfed Babies

Breastfed Babies

Reports suggest that weaning a baby from as little as four months may help develop the child from attracting allergies. Helga Nipples, spokespersonnage from the Breast Oral Operative Brokerage (BOOB) said that studies found "no compelling evidence...
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Funny story:  Bye Bye Election Result

Bye Bye Election Result

New legislation, rushed through Parliament under the guidance of Boris Johnson, has resulted in the by-election at Oldham being declared void. The new legislation determines that a majority of registered voters must vote for the election to be val...
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Funny story:  J K Rowling reveals her latest blockbuster

J K Rowling reveals her latest blockbuster

J K Rowling, the woman behind the infeasibly popular Harry Potter series, has sold her latest creation to her publishers for half a million pounds. "It's been a while since Jo wrote anything," said publisher and publicist Pugh Ballasista. "So we w...
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Funny story:  Did Lily Allen Secretly Get Married?

Did Lily Allen Secretly Get Married?

Rumours are circulating the celebrity world that Lily Allen has secretly got married this week after she was seen on a night out sporting not just an engagement ring, but also a wedding ring on her left hand ring finger. "I think it's fairly obvio...
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Funny story:  Chickens genetically bred that are totally resistant to bird flu!

Chickens genetically bred that are totally resistant to bird flu!

It was revealed today, that scientists have developed a way of curbing the spread of avian flu with the help of genetically modified chickens that do not spread the virus. The chickens have an extra piece of DNA inserted into their genomes which p...
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Funny story:  New Dead Sea Scroll Has Scholars Excited

New Dead Sea Scroll Has Scholars Excited

For years since their discovery in the decade from 1946 to 1956 the 972 texts of the Dead Sea Scrolls have preoccupied scholars daily. Controversial and guarded by Catholic orthodoxy there is none yet so far as exciting as the apocryphal text recently unearthed at Cave Eleven near the Dead Sea. It belongs to Salome Agrippa, a hitherto unknown follower of Jesus Christ and takes the form of a privat...
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Funny story:  Piers Morgan Arrives on Larry King Set, Makes Waves

Piers Morgan Arrives on Larry King Set, Makes Waves

With his debut in the Larry King "chair" set to take place in a few days, Piers Morgan has arrived on the set of the talk show to get settled into his new home. Workers on the show were reportedly startled to see Morgan's new "Larry King clone" l...
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Funny story:  Dead Suicide Terrorist Upset That 72 Virgins Are All Refurbished

Dead Suicide Terrorist Upset That 72 Virgins Are All Refurbished

Dead Afghan suicide terrorist, Oh No Mohammed, was disappointed to find out that his seventy two virgins reward for dying for Allah were all refurbished with non-human parts. Needless to say, he is really, really pissed. "I cannot believe this!"...
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Funny story:  Republicans Block Obama Proposal to Change National Anthem to Kumbaya

Republicans Block Obama Proposal to Change National Anthem to Kumbaya

Kumbaya is an African-American spiritual song which translates to "Come by Here" and through the years has come to symbolize peace, harmony and compassion toward our fellow man. It is a standard song sung around campfires, in cars by families heading...
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Funny story:  Jesus Appears at St Patrick's Cathedral in NYC during the Celebration of the Eucharist, Gets Eaten

Jesus Appears at St Patrick's Cathedral in NYC during the Celebration of the Eucharist, Gets Eaten

Jesus Christ shocked the congregation at New Your City's St. Patrick's Cathedral by showing up during the celebration of the Eucharist this past Sunday. Unfortunately for Jesus Christ, the congregation shocked Jesus Christ back, by eating him. "B...
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Funny story:  Viewers of 'Toddlers and Tiaras' Upset with Marilyn Manson Costume

Viewers of 'Toddlers and Tiaras' Upset with Marilyn Manson Costume

A New Jersey mother, who previously dressed her 2-year old daughter in Wonder Woman and Madonna outfits complete with pointy cones, is taking more heat for the latest costume her now 3-year old daughter will be wearing in next season's Toddlers and T...
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Funny story:  If You Were Born in Early December, Your Zodiac Sign is Now a Penis With Eyes

If You Were Born in Early December, Your Zodiac Sign is Now a Penis With Eyes

So, some a--hole has decided that, because of a change in the universe, and global warming and all, the zodiacs have changed. In fact, now there are 13 signs. This new one is called Ophiuchus, which was named for Imhotep, the guy Billy Zane played in The Mummy*. The zodiac sign for Ophiuchus is a bald snake, again patterned after Billy Zane. Scorpio is now 6 days long, and all of the othe...
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Funny story:  Man Uses iPhone Farting App to Secure a Bar Stool During Happy Hour

Man Uses iPhone Farting App to Secure a Bar Stool During Happy Hour

A San Jose man has found that using an iPhone app that creates various fart noises has come in handy when he finds himself in crowded bar during happy hour. John Flatulence downloaded the app a year ago when he came across it at the website TheBigSt...
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Funny story:  The Spoof is THE place to be.  What is wrong with this world of ours?

The Spoof is THE place to be. What is wrong with this world of ours?

Oh my, there is so much pain in this world of ours that The Spoof is the place to be. Anyone who is reading this and is not yet a Spoof Writer - but is a READER - you obviously have opinions. Come join the Spoof. It is just like the REAL world. Not everyone agrees with everyone and yet you have the opportunity to 'speak your mind'. Life is not easy for any one of us and in the 'pages'...
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Funny story:  Pleased to meet you, hope you get my name

Pleased to meet you, hope you get my name

Sir Fred Goodwin, aka, Fred the Shred, is reported to have joined a large group of Susan Boyle Fans in an advisory capacity. As the former boss of a Scottish bank, Sir Fred had an immediate connection with the Susan loving group who identify anyth...
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Funny story:  Jackson Hewitt Changes Its Name To "Refund Anticipation Loans 'R Us"

Jackson Hewitt Changes Its Name To "Refund Anticipation Loans 'R Us"

Perennial tax-preparation runner-up Jackson Hewitt has decided to capitalize on H&R Block's inability to provide its clients with Refund Anticipation Loans (RALs) by changing its name to "RALs 'R US." "Want a Refund Anticipation Loan, we got '...
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Funny story:  Man Abandons Imaginary Kingdom

Man Abandons Imaginary Kingdom

And now IMAGINARY NEWS: In a dramatic development, a well-known imaginary man walked out on an imaginary kingdom yesterday, abandoning his imaginary friends and enemies. For many years, the man - known as 9991bookS because he likes to keep an exte...
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Funny story:  More Twilight: Midnight at the Oasis Revelations

More Twilight: Midnight at the Oasis Revelations

Well after examining the trash can from the "Twilight; Midnight at the Oasis" rehearsal set WikiSquirts reports all they found was a couple hypodermic needles, a condom, half eaten and very decomposed avocado and turkey sandwich, a partially filled d...
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