Spoof news stories from January 2011
There were 1,436 spoof news stories published in January 2011. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Nearly Nude Pics of Nina Dobrev, Candice Accola Came From Los Angeles Spa!
Los Angeles police have traced a calendar that sold on the streets for $25 back to it's source at a Los Angeles Spa, called "Take It Off!"
Apparently the spa was secretly snapping photos of anyone famous that came by and gave out free first sessio...
Playboy Mogul Hugh Hefner Reveals Why Nude Photos of Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, and Dakota Fanning Do Not Exist
LOS ANGELES - One of the top news programs in America, Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that they have irrefutable evidence regarding so called nude photos of some of America's most popular young female singers.
3T's Papaya Ruckusgarden stated t...
Justin Bieber Naked Pictures
Canadian singer Justin Bieber - whose surname almost rhymes with Beaver, an aquatic mammal that builds dams and a euphemism for a woman's private parts - has some naked pictures that have been causing quite a stir.
What happened was that Justin go...
Tanja Morson denies grassing up boyfriend Vincent Tabak
Bristol - (Whodunnit): She's the weekend red tops' favorite for grassing up the Dutch boyfriend to Bristol cops.
And she's gone to ground during Vincent Tabak's police interrogation, extended by another 30 hour warrant on Friday.
Family sources...
Did Emily Williams introduce Tanja Morson to Jo accused Vincent Tabak?
Bristol - (Sock-It-To-Em!): She generously allowed Tabak to lodge in her Aberdeen Road home while police probed tragic Jo Yeates' death.
This week Emily Williams is still incommunicado 'somewhere in Chile' as Bristol Ram drinkers ponder who grasse...
Nina Dobrev Says Robert Pattison Proposed to Her, Pattinson Doesn't Deny It
Nina Dobrev, whom everyone expects to marry Ian Somerhalder, told reporters today that Robert Pattinson had proposed to her two months ago.
"I realize his fans and the Twilight faithful won't believe me and I expect that you do not believe it eith...
H&R Block: Like Demolishing a Building With A Big Stuffed Bunny
H&R Block is in panic mode, entering what it calls First Peak --the flurry of business set in motion by the arrival of W-2s for those tax clients who usually plan to pay Febuary's child support with their tax refund-- without the ability to offer...
The Devil's In the Dutchmen! Vincent Tabak & Joran van der Sloot Linked To Aruba Springbreak Disappearances!
The Aruba and Holland Tourism Industry were hit today with the shocking bombshell news that accused women killers Vincent Tabak and Joran van der Sloot, both Dutchmen, met and partied 6 years ago on Aruba the same time US student Natalie Holloway w...
Vanessa Hudgens Denies The Kristen Stewart Lesbian Rumors
VENICE BEACH - Left Coast Mirror Magazine is reporting that the rumors of an intimate relationship that were reported in The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette between movie starlets Vanessa Hudgens and Kristen Stewart are totally false.
LC2M Editor A...
Carrie Underwood Denies Divorce Rumors
PENSACOLA, Florida - Carrie Underwood, who has won more country music awards than Reba McEntire, Alan Jackson, Sugarland, and Ramrod Rick & The Cattle Rustlin' Band combined, performed before a sold out audience at The Orange Seed Auditorium in P...
Without RALs, Today Begins H&R Block's Countdown To Insolvency.
For the 214 people who still use H&R Block to prepare their income tax return, there will be a huge surprise at the interview desk in 2011, and it won't be lower prices: H&R Block can't offer to loan you your own money in anticipation of a ta...
Shakira's 2011 Nude Calendar Is Selling Like Colombian Hot Cakes!
GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - The Colombian firecracker Shakira had just finished performing before a sell out crowd at Green Bays' Box of Snow Balls Auditorium when she received the good news.
She was informed by Tittle Tattle Tonight's Papaya Ruckusgar...
Gordon Ramsay doused in petrol and held at gunpoint
Gordon Ramsay, the chef (44), was doused in petrol and held at gunpoint while investigating illegal fishing for a television series.
A simple trip abroad to look into illegal fishing for shark fins turned into horror for Gordon Ramsey and the TV crew. Surprise! Surprise.
What the hell did they expect? Did they expect law-breaking Costa Ricans to welcome a pack of nosey bloody foreigners w...
Miley Cyrus Loves Spankings, Says Liam Hemsworth
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth's on again, off again relationship is apparently off again as Hemsworth told reporters in Australia yesterday.
"I'm finally through with that part of my life. I admit that Miley wore me out. I have a career to think...
Shock as 100,000 Brits Convert To Islam
A shocking new study has revealed that 100,000 Brits have converted to Islam and turned their backs on western consumerism and immorality. Somewhat surprisingly, the study identifies the average convert as most likely being a white woman in her mid t...
Selena Gomez Says Nude Photos in Indian Magazine Not Her
Pop star Selena Gomez says that the just released photos of her in India News Magazine are not her.
"Everyone wants a piece of Selena Gomez", she told reporters in Paris this morning.
This has all come about after Gomez reportedly came to Pari...
Kate Gosselin's Bodyguard Steve Nield Caught In The Possession of 37 Nude Photos of KatGo
READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin sat at her kitchen table talking to her best friend Kinsey San Joaquin. KatGo, the name Kate is now going by, said that she cannot believe that the man that she trusted more than even Dancing With The Stars host...
H&R Block Loses Exclusive Contract With Wal*Mart To Jackson Hewitt: "Hey, we still have Sears. There's still some of them open, right?"
H&R Block, the tax preparation company who has taken it in the proverbial rear this tax season --after losing refund anticipation loans, their sole source of income-- they now find out that Jackson Hewitt will be the exclusive provider of tax ser...
George Clooney Angrily Tells Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie - "Your Pack of Brats Are No Longer Welcome In My Home!"
BELLAGIO, Italy - As soon as George Clooney pulled into the driveway of his Italian mansion Villa Oleandra Oxen Free, located on beautiful Lake Perry Como he knew that something was amiss.
The Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie 'United Nations of a Fami...
Shakira Dumps Boyfriend of 11 Years And Takes Up With Manchester United's Chicharito
LOS ANGELES - The Left Coast Mirror Magazine and The Right Coast Illustrated Revue are both reporting that Colombian songstress and belly dancer Shakira has dumped her boyfriend of eleven years Antonio De La Rue and is now seeing English football sta...
Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart Extremely Upset!
What would upset Robert Pattinson so much that he would not talk to anyone even over the telephone last week?
Apparently it was the same news that is not very popular with Taylor Lautner or Kristen Stewart either.
Their movie "Twilight: Eclipse...
David Cameron denies affair with model Bailey-Jay Granger
British Prime Minister David Cameron has denied having an affair with a famous internet model named Bailey-Jay Granger and said he would resign if he was caught lying about it.
Mr Cameron who is well known for trying to build an uncommon personali...
Kate Gosselin Devastated As Her Bodyguard Quits
READING, Pennsylvania - The woman who proved to America that one does not have to really know how to dance in order to advance on the reality dancing show Dancing With The Stars is reportedly quite devastated
Kate "Graceless" Gosselin, the woman w...
Jackson Hewitt Changes Its Name To "Refund Anticipation Loans 'R Us"
Perennial tax-preparation runner-up Jackson Hewitt has decided to capitalize on H&R Block's inability to provide its clients with Refund Anticipation Loans (RALs) by changing its name to "RALs 'R US."
"Want a Refund Anticipation Loan, we got '...
Taylor Lautner and Lily Collins Seen French Kissing In L.A.'s Trendy Cafe La French Fry
WEST HOLLYWOOD - According to unnamed sources the co-stars of the film Abduction, Taylor Lautner and Lily Collins were spotted at the famed Cafe La French Fry where the couple was French kissing between taking bites of their order of Deluxe French Fr...
Taylor Swift Devastated Over News of Alleged Nude Photos of Her Laying On The Beach At Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
LOS ANGELES - The Tinsel Town Times Tribune has reported that they have alleged nude photos of Taylor Swift that were taken on her recent trip down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
The editor of T4 Murgatroyd Latherwick has stated that although the phot...
Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Help The Police With Their Enquiries
Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have been helping The Police with their enquiries recently, writes Lettie S Beavanu, Popular Vampire Films & Police Affairs Correspondent.
It all came about as recently as recently while the...
Michelle Obama Loses It Over Not Being Invited to British Royal Wedding
First Lady Michelle Obama did a Hyacinth Bucket routine when she discovered that she and her husband, Barack, were not invited to the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.
"She blew her stack alright", stated a White House page. "Yo...
New Cell Phone App Turns Camera Into X-ray that Sees Through Clothing
Sebring, Fla. - A new app available for downloading promises to turn an ordinary cell phone camera into an X-Ray machine that can see through clothing. Invented by thirteen year old Randy Cummings from nearby Titusville, the middle school student sai...
Selena Gomez Parents to Justin Bieber: Quit Trying to Seduce Our Daughter!
Ricardo Gomez, Selena's biological father and her mother, Mandy Teefy, have apparently told Justin Bieber to quit trying to seduce their daughter.
"Selena has quit wearing her "purity ring" and I want to know why", stated Teefy. "She's been wearin...
Robert Pattinson Caught Caressing Ines Sainz 'Caboose' At Knotts Berry Farm
BUENA PARK, California - A local Left Coast newspaper is reporting that Robert Pattinson star of the Twilight vampire series movies and Ines Sainz star sports reporter for Mexico's Azteca TV were recently spotted at the famed Knotts Berry Farm Amusem...
Kate Middleton Nude Shock
Future Queen of England Catherine Middleton takes her clothes off and gets naked with alarming regularity, it emerged yesterday!
Ms Middleton is scheduled to marry Prince William on April 29 and the country is looking forward to a national holiday...
Gay Man Goes To See Liverpool v. Everton At Anfield, But Spends Entire Match In Bogs
An outright gay man told how he went to Anfield to see his first-ever football match this afternoon, only to spend the entire duration of the match in the Gents toilets.
Larry Sabu, 20, somehow managed to obtain a ticket to see the 215th Merseysi...
Liverpool Boss Kenny Dalglish To Partner Fernando Torres For Rest Of Season, Whilst He Rebuilds 1980s Side
In sensational fake news fresh from Anfield, new Liverpool boss Kenny Dalglish has announced that he, himself, will partner the Reds' striker Fernando Torres for the rest of the season, whilst trying to recreate the dominant side of the 1980s.
Dal...
Meerkat Carpets Cause Outrage
Carpets made of Meerkats are being sold in a shop in Birmingham. The carpets are said to be of very good quality and, as Meerkats aren't a protected species, the vendors are perfectly within their rights to sell them.
Meerkat wool is very luxuri...
Alice Roberts Nude TV Role Offer
Fans of top TV science totty, Alice Roberts, are holding their breath as their dream of seeing her au naturel appears to have a chance of being realised.
As we reported, ooh, ages ago (it was August 26 - ed) the Coast presenter's admirers were dis...
Alan Bennett: Yay! The IRS Gave H&R Block Three Extra Days To Sh-t The Bed!
Erase the big, red X you put on the "Archbishop of Kraków Stanisław Dziwisz With Baby Animals" calendar your father-in-law gave you, because the IRS have given Usury-Rate same-day loan factory H&R Block three extra days to sh-t the bed.
BREAK...
Gordon Ramsay - Pie Face!
Fans of TV chef Gordon Ramsay have been shocked by pictures of the legendary foul-mouth in the tabloids.
He was photographed with his wife Tana and their kids out walking with David and Victoria Beckham and their family.
Close-ups revealed his...
Liverpool Sack Dalglish!
In the most amazing managerial turnaround ever seen in English football, Liverpool last night sacked new manager Kenny Dalglish after just two games in charge, in the aftermath of the Reds' 2-1 defeat at Blackpool.
Dalglish only took the reins at...
iPhone Sleep Alarm Malfunctions, World Rejoices
Thanks to a technical glitch in their iPhone sleep alarms, many iPhone users have gotten up late the last few days.
Although many of these folks are furious about the troubles this has caused THEM, most of the REST of the world is rejoicing. A...
Battle fatigued Fernando Torres leaves 'Anfieldgrad'
This is 'Anfieldgrad' on the banks of the River Mersey. We are surrounded by opposing forces and cut off from humanity.
On January 6th Army of Von Hodgson were suffering the fiercest cold Winter and Von Hodgson took a walk down the M62 ALONE with...
Kristen Stewart, Vanessa Hudgens, and Nina Dobrev To Star In The X-Rated "The Naked Nubiles of Nevada"
HOLLYWOOD - Tittle Tattle Tonight has just announced that three of America's leading young actresses will be appearing in Sheboygan Saddlewood's sex-crazed casino film The Naked Nubiles of Nevada.
Saddlewood said that he recently secured the film...
Miley: It May Take Nude Mag Spread to Kill 'Hannah Montana'
Miley Cyrus was dead serious yesterday when friends and fans were shocked to hear her say that it may take something 'very adult' to finally shake off her alternate ego, "Hannah Montana".
Miley had recently wound up the last episode of Hannah Mon...
H&R Block Pulls Ads From MTV's Skins, The Spoof.
Financially neutered tax preparation company H&R Block -- the company who has been sued by the Attorneys General of 41 states over various consumer protection issues-- has pulled their advertising from MTV's kiddie-porn show "Skins", just weeks...
Derek Hough Reportedly Has A Collection of Over 900 Nude Photos of Cheryl Cole
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The winner of this years Dancing With The Stars reality dance program Derek Hough was interviewed by the nationally syndicated news program Bedroom Pillow Talk.
Hough sat in his Hollywood Hills mansion Casa Cha Cha Cha dressed in...
Sarah Palin Discloses She Thinks Kate Gosselin Secretly Took Naked Photos Of Her
DES MOINES, Iowa - Sarah Palin was making a speech to a crowd gathered in the parking lot of a Jack-in-The-Box Restaurant when she was asked about the reported nude photos of her that are appearing on the Internet.
Palin blushed and turned as red...
Justin Bieber Says He is not Gay
Despite rumors all over the internet, Justin Bieber told reporters yesterday that he is NOT gay.
"I DO have some gay friends but most of my friends are straight", Bieber told us. "The stories on the internet are false. This is not to say that I a...
Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber Visit Demi Lovato At The Henry And Betty Ford Rehab Clinic
LOS ANGELES - Teen singing sensations Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber visited fellow singing idol Demi Lovato at The Henry and Betty Ford Rehab Clinic in El Lay (L.A.).
Gomez told a reporter for the Bedroom Pillow Talk news program that her and Jus...
Kristen Stewart: Robert Pattinson Needs the Brass to Keep Me!
Friends of Twilight star Kristen Stewart say that she has been more than a little miffed by the way she has been treated by her long-time boyfriend, Robert Pattinson.
"She told us that she feels like he takes it for granted that she will always be...
Wheelie bin theory suggests Vincent Tabak 'accomplice' may be a woman
Bristol - (Bin Bags): The body-in-a-suitcase theory was losing ground this weekend as Jo Yeates forensic sleuths admitted impounding a recycling smart bin.
Layout pics of the Canynge Road apartment block communal areas show a waste container stora...
Barry George Bush: "Vincent Tabak Is Innocent, OK?"
London - (Big Bang Theories): The man who didn't kill Jill Dando said today it could all be a terrible mistake.
George, 69, was banged up for nearly eight years at Her Maj's Pleasure before being acquitted on Appeal.
Speaking to pals at the Gow...
Jo Yeates Murder: Man Arrested After Confession
Police investigating the murder of Jo Yeates in Bristol have arrested a 32-year-old man after receiving evidence from eyewitnesses who said that he had confessed to friends that he liked eating mozzarella, tomato and pesto pizza from Tesco.
The ma...
An Anchorage Pedicurist Is Alleged To Have Massaged Todd Palin's Alaskan Salmon
WASILLA, Alaska - Reports coming out of the "Iceberg" state are still somewhat sketchy but it appears that a reliable, unnamed, unknown, and unpaid source has revealed that she has heard that Mr. Sarah Palin, aka Todd Palin may have received an illeg...
The Aishwarya Rai Inflatable Doll Has Just Become The Biggest Selling Inflatable Doll of All-Time
CHICAGO - America's largest toy manufacturer the Hasbroken Toy Company has just announced that due to the recent Christmas sales the Aishwarya Rai Inflatable Doll has just surpassed the Cheryl Cole Inflatable Doll in sales.
Spokesperson for the ma...
Naked J K Rowling pictures
Yes that is right, before J K Growling, authorette of Harry McPotter wizarding series became famous she was a magazine babe.
"In Tyne and Weir, it was either sell crack or show your crack", J K told this reporter.
All the nude pictures have b...
Taylor Swift Shocker: She Has A Crush On Adam Lambert
WEST HOLLYWOOD - The Tinsel Town Times Tribune is reporting that Taylor Swift, the sweet little country songstress has confided that she finds Adam Lambert extremely attractive.
The popular recording artist confided in her bass guitarist that she...
Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber To Star In The Film "The Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore Strange But True Story"
HOLLYWOOD - According to Justin Bieber's publicist Poindexter Clickowitz Justin will be starring with Lady Gaga in MZM Pictures production of The Ashton Kutcher And Demi Moore Strange But True Story.
Clickowitz said that at first the part of Ashto...
Selena Gomez Sits in Justin Bieber's Lap
Although there has been no lap dancing that has been photographed, at least a dozen shots of Selena Gomez sitting in singer Justin Bieber's lap have just been released in a major tabloid.
Earlier pics had showed Justin sitting in Selena's lap as f...
Pete Postlethwaite, Zsa-Zsa Gabor's Right Leg Dead
Oscar-nominated actor Pete Postlethwaite, who starred in "Inception" and "The Usual Suspects," has died at the age of 64, his agent said Monday. Please direct hate mail to...
get.overit@God-forbid-i-make-fun-of-a-Brit.web
...my next-door neighbo...
Jasmine Villegas Reveals An Interesting Intimate Secret About Justin Bieber
LOS ANGELES - Jasmine Villegas, who not only was Justin Bieber's opening act last year but who also dated the young Canadian for two months has revealed an intimate detail about the Bieber.
Villegas, 17, who starred on the Disney Channel's spin-of...
'Masonic' UFO appeared over Bristol the night Jo Yeates vanished
Bristol - (Pie-in-the-Sky): Locals said the craft was festooned with a neon sign depicting the Triple Tau.
The emblem forms part of the heraldic colors of the Holy Royal Arch - a masonic appendant body catering to the architectural branch of freem...
Taylor Swift Embarrassed as Stuffing Falls Out of Bra During Show
It had been a great night for singing and a lively cheering crowd got an extra bonus when members of the Def Leopard rock group showed up to sing with Taylor Swift during the last ten minutes of her performance in St Louis Monday night.
Right up...
Obama Continues to Lose Weight; Experts Say He Could be Being Consumed with Intestinal Parasites And Blame Spam Sandwiches!
Obama watchers have grown increasingly concerned as the 50 year old President appears to be wasting away before their eyes ever since his recent Hawaii get away and his binge eating away from the Secret Food Police hired by Moochelle to strictly enf...
Karren Brady for Sky Sports
Karren Brady, West Ham Vice Chairman, has been given the extra role of Director of Sky Sports on the personal direction of Rupert Murdoch who has rushed back to the UK from America to sort out the crisis caused by sexist remarks by football pundits A...
ABC's Supernanny Offers One Last Visit to Kate Gosselin
ABC's Supernanny, Jo Frost, is folding up her umbrella, letting her chauffer go, and heading back to England to start a family of her own, but not before she offers her services one last time to the mother of all mothers, Kate Gosselin.
"That woma...
Robert Downey, Jr. Appears In Tropic Thunder Blackface To Denounce Ricky Gervais
Robert Downey, Jr., the voice of the sexually ambiguous Mr. Peanut and the sexually ambiguous Mr. Peabody and Sherman in the Dreamworks Film "Rocky And Bullwinkle's Ancillary Characters" is rip-snorting mad at Ricky Gervais's Golden Globes monologue,...
Naked Selena Gomez Pregnant With Justin Bieber Irony
Barney & Friends and Wizards of Waverley Place star Selena Gomez is a self-confessed "huge animal lover", writes Dick Palmer-Humbert, Desperation Correspondent.
So it is perhaps ironic that she is very close, if not actually intimate, with "Ca...
If You Were Born in Early December, Your Zodiac Sign is Now a Penis With Eyes
So, some a--hole has decided that, because of a change in the universe, and global warming and all, the zodiacs have changed.
In fact, now there are 13 signs. This new one is called Ophiuchus, which was named for Imhotep, the guy Billy Zane played in The Mummy*. The zodiac sign for Ophiuchus is a bald snake, again patterned after Billy Zane.
Scorpio is now 6 days long, and all of the othe...
Pregnant Natalie Portman Makes Nude Workout Video
Although pregnant with her first child, actress Natalie Portman has made a video of her doing exercises in the nude, according to a press release.
Portman says she's not ashamed of her body and she wants other women to exercise while they are expe...
Palin Explains Mix-up in Map Displayed on SarahPAC Website
"Oh gosh, when I woke up Sunday morning, I was just horrified to see my US map with the gun sites directed at US states and names of lawmakers printed below," claimed a somewhat contrite Sarah Palin in attempting to explain the offending map posted o...
Tina Fey, Johnny Depp, and Robert Pattinson To Star In "Crosshairs - The Sarah Palin Story"
HOLLYWOOD - Famed Italian director Luigi Luigiani has just announced that he will soon be directing Tina Fey and Johnny Depp in the production of Crosshairs - The Sarah Palin Story.
Luigiani, who has directed some of the biggest actresses in Holly...
Kenny Dalglish Can't Match Shankly, Nude
Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish is unlikely to be able to match the legendary Bill Shankly in his quest to return the Merseyside Reds to their former glories; and a Torbay art connoisseur has unveiled a new addition to his collection, write Football...
Raunchy Navy Videos Leaked to Media to Refute Don't Ask, Don't Tell Rumors
An unidentified Naval Commander, speaking on the condition of anonymity, claims that it was necessary to make and leak raunchy sex videos to show the world that the majority of servicemen in the Navy are not homosexual, as the repeal of Don't Ask, Do...
Gay Man Photographed Pumping Little Boys Balls
A gay man in the local village was pictured in the local paper this week furiously pumping a little boys balls at the side of the road.
Larry Sabu, 20, was cruising along in his mother's Fiat Panda when he spotted a child in distress.
"Upon see...
Alex Reid Turned into an Alien Says Katie Price
Jordan's friends have tonight revealed that she dumped Alex Reid because he became an Alien. They say that at the end of their short marriage he wasn't the man she fell in love with.
Jordan is said to blame the sudden change on the newly discov...
Demi Lovato Has Organized The Patients At Her Rehab Clinic Into A Patients Union
LOS ANGELES - Left Coast Mirror Magazine is reporting that teenage singing sensation Demi Lovato has organized the resident patients at The Henry and Betty Ford Rehab Clinic into a patients union.
The executive director of the rehab clinic Cayenne...
Blackburn Rovers frustrated at missing out on panda signing
Blackburn Rovers Venky group owners have expressed frustration at losing out in their pursuit of a giant panda who shunned the advances of the Lancashire club in favour of a move to minnows Edinburgh Zoo.
The club had hoped to make Yangguang their...
Harry Potter 8 to be published in May 2011
J.K. Rowling disclosed at a book signing today that she has secretly been writing the eighth book in the Harry Potter series. "I completed the manuscript last week and it's with the editors as we speak," said the wealthy author.
When asked about...
J K Rowling reveals her latest blockbuster
J K Rowling, the woman behind the infeasibly popular Harry Potter series, has sold her latest creation to her publishers for half a million pounds.
"It's been a while since Jo wrote anything," said publisher and publicist Pugh Ballasista. "So we w...
Was Vincent Tabak spying for the Russians? Tanja Morson denies all knowledge!
Bristol - (Hexed-Files): The American financial analyst is still in a state of shock following widespread news coverage of her boyfriend's arrest.
Friends of Morson's at work said today that Tabak, a highly qualified architectural engineer, 'may...
Taylor Lautner: Justin Bieber is a Spoiled Brat!
"The kid has talent but he needs to grow up!"
Actor Taylor Lautner told our reporter and a few others yesterday that he thinks that Justin Bieber acts more like a ten year old and that he thinks he's a spoiled brat.
"This has nothing to do with...
Stella Hudgens Sick Of Fame!
Stella Hudgens, sister of (High School Musical Star, Vanessa Hudgens) has reportedly QUIT 'regular' state school to be home-schooled in her LA home.
Allegations flooded the Hudgens family last week as Stella, reportedly flipped out in front of pa...
Mark Ernst Hired As COO Of Fiserv; Insolvency Expected Within Ninety Days.
Fiserv, a suicidal provider of financial services technology solutions, has appointed former H&R Block CEO Mark Ernst as executive vice president and COO. "H&R Block disclosed that... its former chairman and chief executive, Mark A. Ernst, wi...
Kew Gardens a hotbed of vice as manager pulled in prostitution scam
West London - (Reuterus): Topless pics of the corpulent ugly-mug were found on a Royal Botanical Gardens laptop at the weekend.
They showed 35 year-old Helen Marsters frolicking naked while running Kew Gardens visitor centre.
Today the pug-fac...
Jo Yeates Murder: Police Determined To Make Charges Stick
Following the recent arrest of Jo Yeates murder suspect Vincent Tabak, accusations of case mismanagement and suspect intimidation have been levelled at the Police force.
Reports suggest the police have done everything they can to ensure Tabak is p...
Pentagon's spy-in-the-sky satellite footage 'can exonerate Jo accused Vincent Tabak'
Bristol - (Pie-in-the-Sky): A non-Wikileaks source revealed today police frustration at subpoena attempts of vital aerial footage stored in the International Space Station's asteroid-proof archive.
Such surveillance data could provide vital alibis...
Vincent Tabak denies visit to MI6 cryptographer Williams
Bristol - (Smoke 'N' Mirrors): The top suspect in the Joanna Yeates murder probe has denied being one of the 'Mediterranean-looking' visitors to RIP'd MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams.
The new line of questioning comes amid red top reports descr...
Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Say Sex is Over-Rated
In a press conference yesterday two stars of the Twilight movie series told press agents that they thought that sex was way over-rated.
"I think it was a nine or ten earlier on", stated Stewart, "but I'd only give it a five...maybe even a four now...
Sarah Palin and Kate Gosselin To Appear On "The Vampire Diaries"
HOLLYWOOD - The Tinsel Town Times Tribune is reporting that Sarah Palin (SaPa) and Kate Gosselin (KatGo) have been signed to appear in an upcoming episode of The Vampire Diaries.
The shows producer Manolo Middlezuck has stated that Sarah Palin agr...
Jo Yeates Murder Suspect: Trial Could Be Held At Hague
Brussels was today a hive of activity amid reports that Jo Yeates Suspect Vince "the jackal" Tabak could be tried at the Hague.
The announcement caused shock and disbelief across the British media this evening. Information is very scarce at the...
Lindsay Lohan Offers a Leg to Save Zsa Zsa Gabor
Los Angelos - Upon her release from the Betty Ford Clinic on probation today Lindsay Lohan was heard saying, "I must go to her!"
"Her" meaning Zsa Zsa Gabor. Upon hearing that the ailing Gabor sister might lose her leg, the new and improved Lindsa...
Tanja Morson's alibi - an open and shut case
Bristol - (Smoke N Mirrors): "Well, it's hardly a vanity case, folks, more like steel-reinforced emotional baggage!" regulars at the Bristol Ram concurred tonight.
Their chatter comes amid rumors that Tanja Morson's boyfriend Vince Tabak may add...
Phil The Greek Restores Noble Right Of Prima Nocta
In what is likely to be seen as a highly controversial move, HRH Prince Philip has taken it upon himself to restore the ancient noble's right of Prima Nocta. This is the right which allows a senior royal to have sexual rights to the wife of a newly m...
Jo Yeates accused Vincent Tabak requests conjugal visit fromTanja Morson and/or Emily Williams
Gloucs - (Sock-It-To-Em): Unsure of his footing with either woman in the Missing Sock Murder Case the Dutchman's request has flummoxed jail authorities.
HMP Slopout screws confirmed today remand prisoners' rights to conjugal visits from their near...
Wikileaks Shocker: 'Dog The Bounty Hunter' and 'Mrs. Dog' May Be Brother and Sister
HONOLULU, Hawaii - Left Coast Mirror Magazine is reporting that they may have uncovered some Wikileaks documents that show that Duane "The Dog" Chapman and his wife Beth "The Buxom Broad" Chapman may in all actuality be brother and sister.
The 57-...
H&R Block CEO Responds to Senate Letter Regarding New Tax Credits, Encloses Resume
Senate leaders are countering the effort to repeal the new health care law by calling attention to small businesses tax credits also contained in the legislation.
The Senate's top seven Democrats, all whiny and pissy over losing control of the Leg...
"Naked Body Scanners Out, Anal Probes In," says TSA
Faced with lawsuits from airline passengers and its own employees, the U.S. Transportation Security Administration (TSA) said today that it will discontinue the use of naked-body scanners at U.S. airports beginning March 2011. Passengers have long co...
Derek Hough Reveals The Very Intimate Location of Cheryl Cole's Latest Tattoo
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Derek Hough was quietly lounging around in his boxer shorts in his Hollywood Hills mansion Casa Cha Cha Cha, which he named after one of his all-time favorited dances, when he received a call from Summersetter Faxx, a reporter with...
Will and Kate's prick-teasing, pussy-tickling wedding plans
Kate Middleton's after-shag glow blinded millions of Breakfast News viewers today as she revealed more details of the coming Royal bedding.
In an effort to keep up a brave face against decapitation threats by anarchist assassins, Will and Kate hav...
The Golden Globe Awards: Charlie Sheen, Brad Pitt, and Cher All Agree That The Show's Host Ricky Gervais Was "A Pompous Pathetic Punk"
BEVERLY HILLS - The International Ballroom of The Beverly Hills Hotel was the sight of The 68th Annual Golden Globes Award Show which was hosted by Ricky Gervais, a razor-tongued, venom-spewing comedian who can literally make Joan "The Moan" Rivers...
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