Funny story:  New Incredible Products

New Incredible Products

Several new products and services that the Wall Street Journal describes as "ground breaking" have just been released. The first from Fuku-GimmeMoney could well be revolutionary. They are proposing to parents to have their company logo tattooed on their children's foreheads as part of their marketing strategy. The tattoos can be for ten, fifteen or twenty years or even for life. Parents an...
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Funny story:  Future News: 2012 to Happen Just to New Jersey, Wolverhampton

Future News: 2012 to Happen Just to New Jersey, Wolverhampton

(Published 23rd Dec 2012) - JERSEY CITY & WOLVERHAMPTON, ENG. - An astonishing event had occured. 2012, which would happen to the Earth at 11.59 pm GMT, 22nd Dec 2012, had just been isolated to the two places on Earth no-one likes. "Yeah,"...
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Funny story:  Guess Who Now Is Playing Anna Nicole Smith in the Opera, Anna Nicole?

Guess Who Now Is Playing Anna Nicole Smith in the Opera, Anna Nicole?

In a sudden turn of events, it was announced today that Eva-Marie Westbroek will no longer play the eponymous lead in the opera, Anna Nicole. Citing creative differences, Ms. Westbroek, has been released from her contract, according to enfant terrib...
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Funny story:  Point/Counterpoint: Citizenship Test Results from a Right-Winger Vs. Citizenship Results from Bangladeshi Immigrant

Point/Counterpoint: Citizenship Test Results from a Right-Winger Vs. Citizenship Results from Bangladeshi Immigrant

There has been some controversy about the UK's Citizenship test, which tests would-be immigrants on how people live in the UK. So, we took a right-winger - the epitome of immigration flow-stopping - who had lived in the country since birth, and a Bangladeshi national who had applied for citizenship. Derek Fieldings vs. Ismail Jabbar. Our UK Life correspondent, Sarah White, has collated the res...
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Funny story:  George Osborne strikes deal with wank bank

George Osborne strikes deal with wank bank

Chancellor George Osborne has agreed a deal with the wank bank that will force them to start lending again. The wank bank had refused to lend back sexual and arousing images that men had stored leading to very tense situations. The news will be...
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Funny story:  Ga Ga Calls It A Day

Ga Ga Calls It A Day

Shy and retiring megastar Lady GaGa has today sensationally quit the showbiz world. Lady GaGa, real name Gaynor Gartside has had enough of living the highlife and called it a day. As her new single once again goes global, she explained her decision to millions of devastated fans world wide. 'This will indeed be my last single. I'm sick and tired of wearing bra's made out of Parma Ham, a...
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Funny story:  Giant Weather Balloon Spotted Circling The Moon

Giant Weather Balloon Spotted Circling The Moon

Houston, TX-- Alarmed amateur astronomers have reported seeing a 100-mile wide metallic sphere circling the moon for the last three days. NASA wants people to know that it is only a weather balloon, and there is nothing to worry about. Weather ball...
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Funny story:  Belgian Giant Denied a bigger bed

Belgian Giant Denied a bigger bed

Hans Leerdammer was arrested two years ago this month, and has a further four years and six months to run on his sentence. He has asked the Belgian prison service for a larger cell, but they refused, forcing him to go to the courts. The reason Lee...
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Funny story:  Music World  in Shock as Hipster Doesn't Buy Ironic T-Shirt

Music World in Shock as Hipster Doesn't Buy Ironic T-Shirt

BIRMINGHAM, ENG. - Robert Plant, 17, is a self-described hipster of the eponymous movement. However not any more. Why? He had gone shopping with his mother, which he says is so indie, cause no-one does it, and had accepted a non-ironic t-shirt fro...
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Funny story:  Will & Kate in Comic Strip

Will & Kate in Comic Strip

The Queen is not amused by the latest departure from Royal decorum as a grahic novel with Superheroes Prince William and Kate Middleton are shown stripping in guises similar to Batman and Spiderman. 'There must be some dignity, William' she told her grandson as he climbed on the ceiling and waved his wings. 'Don't worry Grandma. This is a new age and you've got to be in it to know it. This...
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Funny story:  Ontarians protest outside Queen's Park, Toronto

Ontarians protest outside Queen's Park, Toronto

Canadian's living in Ontario, are livid at the way their Government wastes money. They protested on the lawns at Queen's Park today, though lawns were covered in snow, they were all wrapped up for the below zero temperature and wind chill factor.
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Funny story:  Kate Middleton Claims Camilla Already Acting like Wicked Stepmother

Kate Middleton Claims Camilla Already Acting like Wicked Stepmother

In a candid interview late last month, Kate Middleton, fiancée of Prince William of Wales, discussed what she expects her life to be like once she has married into the royal family. Her initial response was "fabulous!" but then a frown crossed her fa...
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Funny story:  Man Commits Suicide After Watching Dakota Fanning - Kristen Stewart Bomb

Man Commits Suicide After Watching Dakota Fanning - Kristen Stewart Bomb

A New Jersey may was found hung in his home this evening, and police say it might have been caused by a huge wave of depression caused by the Dakota Fanning / Krtistin Stewart cinematic emetic "The Runaways." "The deceased was found dead of asphyxiation," said Keyport, NJ Police Chief George Casaletto. "It also appears that he poked his own eyes out sometime before his death." While the dece...
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Funny story:  Adrian Chiles to Present American X-Factor

Adrian Chiles to Present American X-Factor

Adrian Chiles is to defect to American Television after being offered the plum presenting job by Simon Cowell. Since 'Daybreak's' falling ratings Chiles is said to have described the breakfast programme as 'c**p' and has asked his agent to get him...
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Funny story:  Russell Brand Hosts, Ruins Saturday Night Live

Russell Brand Hosts, Ruins Saturday Night Live

While hosting NBC's Saturday Night Live, British 'funnyman' Russell Brand has accomplished something show creator Lorne Michaels has been doing slowly over the last 30-odd years: Ruining Saturday Night Live. "Oh my God, this guy is terrible," said...
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Funny story:  World Record Kiss

World Record Kiss

Fourteen couples in Thailand are to compete for the longest kiss on Valentine's day. The winning couple will get £2000 and a diamond ring worth £1000. However to get the prize the couples have to prepared to to lock their lips together at all time...
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Funny story:  Sky Sports Latest. Saturday Feb 12th, 2011. 4.45 pm.

Sky Sports Latest. Saturday Feb 12th, 2011. 4.45 pm.

Jeff Stelling - "...And now over to our man Neil McCann at Dens Park, Dundee. Neil was actually on the bench as a trialist but was introduced into the action after 60 minutes. Well into injury time and its still Dundee 1, Raith Rovers 1...." Neil McCann - "Seems like, Jeff. Dundee's got a corner well into...
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Funny story:  Cameron Admits Big Society Mistake

Cameron Admits Big Society Mistake

David Cameron has finally admitted that his idea of a "Big Society" has been the victim of a major misunderstanding from day one. The whole idea emanated from a conversation the Coalition Prime Minister had with his then new Director of Communications Andy Coulson just days into the new government. Cameron takes over the story : "I was travelling on Eurostar to a summit in Paris to meet...
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Funny story:  Jane McDonald To Star In Biopic

Jane McDonald To Star In Biopic

Wacky 'Loose Women' inventor Jane McDonald, the lovely Yorkshire singer and presenter has been chosen to play Ex-Arsenal and England Goalkeeper David Seaman in a stage adaptation of his life. The Musical, 'Safehands' will be an all singing and da...
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Funny story:  Australian Politician in the S#*t

Australian Politician in the S#*t

The leader of the conservative Liberal Party opposition in Australia's Federal Parliament has been embarrassed by a slip of the tongue during a visit to Afghanistan in which TV cameras caught him in discussion with the American commander of the alli...
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Funny story:  The Shame of Eton

The Shame of Eton

A grim Headmaster, followed by his staff walked into the school assembly and went onto the stage so they could look down on the uneasy crowd of boys beneath them. 'Someone has been lying and no one will leave this room until I find out who it was' brayed the Headmaster. Silence. 'Come on I know who you are. You just have to have the guts to admit it!' 'It could be me, Sir' piped a frig...
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Funny story:  Jack Wishere Tops Poll

Jack Wishere Tops Poll

In a recent poll of sports journalists throughout the United Kingdom, Arsenal midfielder Jack Wilshere has been named as "The Latest Young Hopeful Being Touted As The Saviour Of The England National Side Who Will Spectacularly Crumble Under The Crush...
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Funny story:  Expenses Scandal Takes On A New Twist

Expenses Scandal Takes On A New Twist

Unnamed sources in Whitehall have revealed a loophole in parliamentary procedure covering conditions of service. Thanks to this flaw, MP's who are currently serving prison sentences for dishonestly claiming expenses can continue to claim expenses...
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Funny story:  Bristol Palin's Ex-Future Sister-In-Law Mercede "Sadie" Johnston To Grace The Pages of PlayGuy Magazine

Bristol Palin's Ex-Future Sister-In-Law Mercede "Sadie" Johnston To Grace The Pages of PlayGuy Magazine

WASILLA, Alaska - The 18-year-old sister of Levi Johnston, Mercede Johnston, has decided to follow in her brother's footsteps and show the Johnston family body au naturel in an upcoming issue of PlayGuy. Levi, the baby daddy of Bristol Palin's two...
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Funny story:  Sweeping Council Changes Proposed

Sweeping Council Changes Proposed

A scathing attack on local government bodies and their employees has been launched by the Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government, Eric Pickles. In a speech made last night at the Guild Hall in London, Pickles warned that sweeping...
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Funny story:  Mubarak - I'll be back!

Mubarak - I'll be back!

In an exclusive interview, Hosni Mubarak at last decided today to spill the beans regards his release on his grip of power after 30 years. He said to this reporter "So many people wishing me well made me feel claustrophobic". When asked if he t...
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Funny story:  Shock Research Results Published

Shock Research Results Published

A National Literary Trust survey of 17,000 children in the U.K. has revealed that kids who use their local library are likely to be above average readers. Even more surprising was the news that children with a sub standard reading ability for their age were twice as likely not to go to a library. In the wake of this controversial conclusion, the Centre For Stating The Bleeding Obvious has co...
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Funny story:  Belgian Waffles

Belgian Waffles

Following Belgium's long standing failure to form a coalition government, Senator Temmerman (ironically a gynaecologist to trade) has taking the unusual step of urging "spouses of all politicians to desist from sex until an agreement is reached". Despite the extreme nature of such a proposal, there is a precedent for this form of intrusive measure having some success. In 2009, a similar ban wa...
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Funny story:  Colin Firth "Rootless" Complaint Upsets Chiswick Neighbours

Colin Firth "Rootless" Complaint Upsets Chiswick Neighbours

As he waves at the world's cameras from the BAFTA red carpet tonight, Colin Firth's Chiswick neighbours will be experiencing mixed emotions. On one hand, of course, they want their local film star to win the best actor award for his portrayal of K...
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Funny story:  China TV Accused of Plagiarism

China TV Accused of Plagiarism

Reports coming out of the Far East would suggest that CCTV (China Central TV) is regularly using footage from Western films and TV shows without paying any royalties. Back in 2004, the then European Trade Commissioner, Peter Mandelson, made the sa...
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Funny story:  Heidi Montag Is Furious With Jennifer Aniston For Not Inviting Her To Her Party For The Cast of "Just Go With It"

Heidi Montag Is Furious With Jennifer Aniston For Not Inviting Her To Her Party For The Cast of "Just Go With It"

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Well it certainly did not take long for Heidi Montag, alias "The Plastic Woman" to start throwing her prima donna movie star weight around. Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that the woman who Spencer Pratt dumped due to the fac...
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Funny story:  SOS! - Save our sheds! - OAP revolts!

SOS! - Save our sheds! - OAP revolts!

In the wake of police advice to homeowners to be a bit careful about how they go about protecting their garden sheds, just in case potential thieves or marauding pikeys should injure themselves and subsequently take legal action against the shed owne...
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Funny story:  Mila Kunis Talks About Her Erotically Sexy Side

Mila Kunis Talks About Her Erotically Sexy Side

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Mila Kunis who was born in the Ukraine recently spoke with a reporter for The Los Angeles Watchdog Witnesser at a local Broken Burgers Diner. She was asked by LA2W reporter Columbus Tiffbottom if the rumors about her having learne...
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Funny story:  New York Smokers Face Death Penalty

New York Smokers Face Death Penalty

Michael Bloomberg, The King of New York, has warned city smokers they should expect to be "shot to death, soon." The former Republican, Democrat, Independant & Life Time Twat is ready to impose greater restrictions on smokers after "thinking h...
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Funny story:  Ex-Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger Threatens To Return To Acting (Or Let's Make That 'Making Movies')

Ex-Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger Threatens To Return To Acting (Or Let's Make That 'Making Movies')

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The former governor of the great earthquake state of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger has told his agent that he is itching to return to making movies, which is his third love behind looking at his biceps and kissing his semi-prett...
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Funny story:  Lindsay Lohan Informs The Judge Hearing Her Case That She Can't Go To Prison Because Simon Cowell Wants Her To Be A Judge On "X-Factor"

Lindsay Lohan Informs The Judge Hearing Her Case That She Can't Go To Prison Because Simon Cowell Wants Her To Be A Judge On "X-Factor"

LOS ANGELES - Superior Court Judge for Los Angeles County Keifer K. Quartzenbaum made it crystal clear to Miss Lindsay Lohan that he, unlike other pantywaisted county officials, is not going to be treating her with kid gloves just because she thinks...
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Funny story:  Keeping to His Tradition of Supporting Dictators, Cheney Comes Out In Favor Of Mubarak

Keeping to His Tradition of Supporting Dictators, Cheney Comes Out In Favor Of Mubarak

The big lizard has slithered out of his lair for another comment. Let's print it big just like it was in the headlines so that it won't be mistaken: CHENEY COMES OUT IN SUPPORT OF MUBARAK Wow, what a surprise! Mr. American dictator comes out in su...
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Funny story:  How to: Score a Valentine's Date

How to: Score a Valentine's Date

Oh dear. You're that desperate? Really? Okay well, Inhopeless Human Solutions (TM) has all the tips on how to score a date. We got to think of this like... buying things. If there's too much of a thing, then its easy to get one. And vice versa. It's the same with finding a date. The sooner the better. So, firstly, get a date. If you are a woman seeking man, or man seeking man, change the pro...
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Funny story:  'Talent' New Music Fad

'Talent' New Music Fad

LOS ANGELES, LONDON, & NEW YORK - After Justin Beiber has sold millions, the music business has found a new cash cow. Along with the neo-emo scene of the mid-nougties, this new scene will make much money in a market that is being slowly eroded...
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Funny story:  Evil cat kept pensioners in appalling squalour

Evil cat kept pensioners in appalling squalour

Social services launched a post lunchtime raid on a flat in Bethnal Green yesterday and discovered, to their horror that an evil cat was keeping seventy six pensioners in conditions of intolerable squalour. Initially, the cat refused to answer the...
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Funny story:  Chile earthquake sees Emily Williams return to Bristol to face the music over Vincent Tabak

Chile earthquake sees Emily Williams return to Bristol to face the music over Vincent Tabak

Bristol - (Sock-It-To-'Em): She's hotly denied ever being romantically involved with the Jo Yeates accused. But Saturday's 6.8-magnitude tremor rattled blond Emily Williams as much as murder charges brought by police on lodger Vincent Tabak. Th...
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Funny story:  Tanja Morson 'may be pregnant'; Vincent Tabak still in the dark

Tanja Morson 'may be pregnant'; Vincent Tabak still in the dark

Bristol - (Bristol Ram-Bam-Thankyee-Ma'am)): Last month's forensic trawl of Canynge Road rubbish has apparently unearthed some spent DIY pregnancy testing kits. A post-funeral headline drought saw weekend red tops seize on the items as tragic Jo Y...
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