A checkout operator at Tesbury's on the High Street was arrested yesterday after "going postal" as her manager described it.
It required four police officers to subdue Hilary Dale as she rampaged around the fresh produce section hurling fruit and...
Washington -- President Obama announced today that he was designating the King Georges Landfill in Virginia as a National Cemetery to honor the remains of veterans already dumped at the landfill by the U.S. Military. The new National Cemetery will b...
Pig Lick, Indiana: This just crossing news wires... Melinda Belle Piffle of this city contacted authorities when she opened her bedroom closet door and discovered three missing socks in the process of trans-mutating into wire clothes hangers.
Sociologists and scientists working in tandem have discovered and isolated a new sub category of human beings. Oddly enough, they have been in existence within our societies for some time.
This new sub-genus to the human species is actually a thr...
Sir Alex Ferguson has joined hands with the British PM in a political show of solidarity by proving that Britain doesn't need Europe, it's debts, the Champions League or Angela Merkel for that matter too.
David Cameron sent Sir Alex a congratulati...
Tehran, Iran - A devastating explosion that leveled a missile firing range near Iran's capital city was caused by a waffle iron, rather than by sabotage which had first been feared.
The appliance short-circuited during a ballistics test, igniting...
Tossco, Britain's biggest and dearest Supermarket chain (after Wotrose) has suffered a fall in its UK sales for the fourth consecutive quarter, despite a £500 million discounting campaign.
The latter produced fantastic discounts averaging as much...
December 8, 2011, marks the 31st anniversary of the passing of John Lennon who was part of the Beatles considered by many to be the greatest rock and roll band of all time.
Hundreds of articles have been written about John over the past years including some which talked about the performers who influenced him, his early childhood growing up in Liverpool, and his uncanny ability to write a compl...
In the national accident statistics, the humble screwdriver has come out tops of the most dangerous household tools wielded by inept morons.
"You would have thought chainsaw, or power drill," said NAS Co-ordinator Nathan Tonal. "However, accidents...
Baltic Sea - Historians hailed today the Holy Grail of latrine mythology as divers recovered the last German Emperor's porta-potty from the wreckage of the Udine.
The light cruiser was sunk by the Brits in 1915 and took with it secrets of the Kais...
London - Shoppers were being warned today to be on the lookout for a toxic crop of the reviled Christmas veg linked to a notorious flesh eating bug.
Reports say the tainted sprouts may be the result of GM experiments into meat tenderizing technol...
"Who is the best Minister in my government?" said Cameron, "who's also a multi-millionaire?......"
"Me me!" shouted Willy Hague, waving his brassiere in the air,
"And I'm also bendable, and a billionaire!"
Nick Clegg raised his hand, "Me, and even as your lackey I'm still debonair!"
"But in case I'm not right, I'll set up a questionnaire!"
George Osborne lied again, saying he was cleve...
CHICAGO Il - Former governor Rod Blagojevich has a prison sentence. No worries; he has already sold his seat in the cell for a tidy profit.
According to our discrete source, a made man, the deal is done.
Found guilty of graft, marketing the O...
Nigerian zombie, Winston St George Ndead was recovering this morning in Burnley General Hospital following a ferocious attack upon his person by a group of drunken humans on Yorkshire Street in the town centre.
Bystanders relate that Winston was m...
These rats were thin and wiry. They all had crooked whiskers and long orange capes that reached down to the ground. They wore on top of their heads, hard brown wooden hats, which smelled so bad they scared off all of the swamp's gnats.
You would have to be a really nasty rat to scare off all the swamp's gnats.
There were five of those rats in that flat brown bottom boat. They moved that b...
It's just been revealed, that the annual Titchfield Carnival Big Hat Sale has been brought forward from the new year, and will now officially commence on Saturday, December 10th. Which is at least three weeks before the usual start date.
"Well, it...
Jackson Hole WY: A dozen Occupy Wyoming protesters arrived in Jackson Hole to show their displeasure with rich liberal Hollywood stars who own multimillion dollar homes in the region, but pay lip service to the poor like themselves.
The homes of...
Reports coming in appear to suggest that a serious case of toxic seepage threatens to kill off all known marine life in Lake Erie, unless it's brought swiftly under control. The good news is that the USA appears so far to be blameless in this latest...
WASHINGTON DC - It soon may be a crime to go on a diet of 500 calories, unless you consume at least 6 aspartame flavored beverages - per day. FDA spokesman, Dr. Strangedeath, indicated that too many cases of people losing weight by using the HCG hor...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, last night announced that he has had the good fortune to acquire a wide range of discounted hats, which he is able to offer for sale - dirt cheap - to anybody who can be arsed.
Uncharacteristically drunk, and typing...
UK technical boffins have admitted to extracting the DNA from the last series of X-Factor in a laboratory in London, and then implanting it into embryonic pop star Amelia Lily, one of this year's finalists. In a procedure reminiscent of Jurassic Par...