The January 1, 2012 New York Times/Gallup Political Poll has announced that if the Iowa Caucuses were held today the most likely winner would be North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-Un.
The Poll pitted the routine Republican gaggle of Presidential "w...
David Cameron's New Years Resolutions for last year have been callously revealed by a former policeman who was recently made redundant by the News of the World.
Ronnie, The Policeman has revealed that David Cameron only had four resolutions but th...
Barak Obama only has 12 more months to save the world from the year 2013. Unless the name gets changed to 2012b or even 2014 we could all be doomed.
That is because a year called 2013 can only lead to unimagined bad luck. Tristodecaphobes all...
A Hetton Le Hole woman has gone into hiding following a ferocious assault on her person by her own husband. Who reportedly smashed her in the face really hard with a shovel.
A Family Liaison Officer was despatched to the scene, where the man was a...
As a special service to our premium subscribers, Northwest NewSmash is pleased to release the top predicted headlines for 2012:
1. Sasha and Malia - The President's Kenyan Child Brides? - Orly Taitz Demands Birth Certificates
2. Republican Candidates Pledge: Human Life Begins At Conception; Human Rights End At Birth
3. 'War On Poverty' Declared Over - Poverty Wins
4. Ron Paul Wins - P...
Good Evening.
I'm Martin Shuttlecock, and speaking on behalf of my beloved wife and myself, I would like to extend the warmest of New Year's greetings and felicitations to those who read this.
The ones who don't can all fuck off.
Right - It's traditional to look to the New Year with optimism. It's the done thing to hope for a peaceful New Year, and wish happiness, health and prosperity up...
Berlin - It's all because some sort of German stinktank was one of the human frights groups whose HQ got torched last week.
Locals in Baddassburg described today how the Cairo branch of Druids Anonymous had claimed responsibility following a bad a...
DUBUQUE, Iowa - Michele Bachmann's campaign tour brought her to the beautiful town of Dubuque, Iowa, [Pronounced: THE-BUICK-EYE-OH-WAH].
The only GOP female candidate for office of the presidency was all smiles as the sun was shining and she was a...
A 47-year-old pilot damaged the inside of his own house in an unusual accident last weekend. Fortunately, Reg Blower was off-duty at the time, so nobody was injured.
According to neighbours, Reg's wife had suffered years of his raucous belching,...
There was a dramatic end to a keenly-fought rugby match against local rivals Hull F.C. when Hull Kingston Rovers ran out of time after a late conversion.
With only two minutes left, Rovers were trailing by just one point as their full-back was ge...
I know what you're thinking, but its not the Somali Pirates they are interested in. No, the Disney franchise isn't being threatened either. Today the biggest and most dangerous center of piracy is none other than the internet. This week not just one but two competing bills are making their way through congress to sharply increase the powers of the US Government to combat these dangerous pirates. T...
In a desperate bid to shore up his injury stricken squad following a humiliating home defeat to Blackburn Rovers, Sir Alex Ferguson has apparently confirmed that United have signed up Liverpool striker Luis Suarez.
This comes as no surprise to ins...
We, as an organ of the press, have always respected our great political philosophers in the time-honoured tradition. We were somewhat perturbed yesterday, to say the least, upon learning of the fateful events, which occurred in one of London's oldest...
In terms of musical collaborations you might have expected Lady Gaga to duet with the 'Posh of Spice' Victoria Beckham, but records at companies House suggest that it's hubby David who will be partnering with the Gaga in 2012 - but not in the studio...
A major funder of the Conservative Party and a hedge fund manager, Toby Moneybags, has been awarded for his 'services to the nation' with a knighthood in the New Year's Honours list.
'This is to celebrate the Big Society' claimed David Cameron 'sh...
David Cameron has secretly reconsidered his decision to veto the Eurozone agreement, not because Coalition Deputy Prime Minister Nick Flegg threw a wobbly and poured arsenick in his tea but because he overheard the French foreign minister talking abo...
In the weekly EPL press conference, United boss Sir Fergus was asked whether he thought Spurs were a genuine title contender this season and he replied:
"Aye, yes, ohhh definitly laddy, since they started refusing to sell us their best players las...
25 Dec 2011: Drunk driver left 'housebound' by ban for being over the limit
Category: Crime
'This is Nottingham'
A disabled pensioner claimed he would be left "housebound" once banned from driving after being found drunk at the wheel. Neil Craig, 69, of Raglan Court, Beeston, is the third driver to be named and shamed in the Post's Christmas anti-drink driving campaign, 'None for the Road'.
Two long standing friends have come to blows between Christmas and New Year after an escalation in children's Christmas presents, resulting in two arrests and a trip to Accident and Emergency.
"It was okay until a couple of Christmases ago," said...
London - Some of the New Year's Honours List gong winners are so bad that police want to put them through a polygraph.
Notorious characters who have blighted the British Way of Life feature in the List, compiled in association with the London Coll...
Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini has revealed that controversial striker Mario Balotelli is refusing to give up a smoking habit thought to involve up to two packets of cigarettes a week.
"I am against smoking - I urged him to give up but I...
Venlo, Holland: As the new year approaches it seems that Dutch men prefer "banging" in the new with their fireworks instead of "banging" it in with their wives and partners.
Tons of gun-powder are about to be exploded into the air this evening, bu...
The number of deaths has reached an all time high within the past week or so. The Institute of Death has reported that more people than ever are dying in the UK at a rate considered unimaginable only a few years ago.
"The paradox is that people a...
Last Friday night singer Katy perry stepped out to see the firework show hosted by her agency e.t entertainment to celebrate their 10th anniversary of. Representing a list singers.
Many artists performed at the nationally broadcast show including...
Early Saturday paparazzi caught lady gaga on the telephone talking to ex boyfriend Alejandro. The singer looked stressed as she had a poker face and shouted out that she was born this way.
Reps have confirmed that even though the couple had a bad...
SHERMAN OAKS - Police were recently called to the Mulholland Estates Mansion of actor Charlie Sheen after reports of some kind of explosion was called in by a neighbor.
According to Sherman Oaks Police, a call was received at police headquarters f...
LOS ANGELES - Even though the two youngest members of this year's X-Factor were both eliminated Rachel Crow, 13, and Drew Ryniewicz, 14, are extremely happy.
Both have been informed that Simon Cowell's production company 19th Hole Productions has...
MEMPHIS - Taylor Swift is presently in talks with Lions Door Pictures about the possibility of starring in the film A Fussin' and A Fightin' - The Tonya Tucker Story.
The movie is based on the book Delta Dawn Does Da Darn Delta by noted country mu...
HOLLYWOOD - Selena Gomez recently stated that she has never been happier than when she is with her boyfriend Justin Bieber.
Gomez said that the thing that makes their relationship work is that she is the magnet and he is the steel. She noted that...
WASHINGTON, DC - Since George Soros "publicly" took ownership of the US Government in January 2009, organizations such as the Trilateral Commission, Illuminati, and the Bilderberg group have practically flaunted their diabolical manipulation of human...
DES MOINES - An email exchange between Reince Priebus, chairman of the Republican National Committee, and Matt Strawn, Iowa GOP chairman, leaked to the press on Friday revealed that the GOP frontrunner see-saw in Iowa has been orchestrated as an...