Spoof news stories from December 2011
There were 721 spoof news stories published in December 2011. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
The Worst Selling Christmas Toys For 2011
Some of this years biggest selling Christmas season toys include The LeapFrog LeapPad Explorer Tablet, The Lalaloopsy Silly Hair Doll, The Trash Pack Trashies Garbage Truck, Crayola Crayon Makers, Monster High Dolls, Nerf Vortex Nitron Blaster, and Transformers Dark of the Moon Ultimate Optimus Prime
But on the other side of the coin are Christmas toys that no one is purchasing. The highly re...
NYPD Threatens To Shut Down Times Square On New Year's Eve
Police in New York have announced a plan to block the city's New Year's Eve celebration, contending that its crowd control responsibilities in Times Square interfere with a more essential duty.
"The public forgets that New York is one of the world...
Congress Puts The Internet Up For Sale
Washington DC -- Faced by increased popular pressure against its moves to control and censor the Internet, Congress has decided to sell the World Wide Web to the highest bidder.
"The Internet is very powerful in its ability to encourage people to...
US Declares a World Record Victory in Iraq
Baghdad -- The United States military today is celebrating a major win in Iraq. American troops are heading home after setting the world record for the longest and most expensive stop and frisk in the history of law enforcement.
"It seems like onl...
X-Factor Cast-Off Drew Ryniewicz, 14, Is Still Extremely Devastated and Is Now Contemplating Suing Simon Cowell
CHINO VALLEY, Arizona - Drew Ryniewicz is back home in Chino Valley, Arizona and she is still upset at having been eliminated from X-Factor.
The little, bitty, skinny, 14-year-old singer met with Sangria Wine of TV ClickerWorld and had a nice chat...
Donald Trump Creates A New Political Party -- The Trumpets
New York -- Just days after turning in his Republican membership card and secret decoder ring, real estate developer Donald Trump has launched his own personal political party.
"It's called the Trumpets, because I'm a guy who likes to toot his own...
Emma Watson really struggles with hiding her camel toe
No longer a giddy young teenager in ponytails riding high on the success of Harry Potter, Emma Watson is now a fine young lady in her early twenties giddily riding high on the success of Harry Potter.
However, now that she is that little bit older...
Herman Cain's Wife Urges Him to Run - for His Life
Atlanta - Beleaguered presidential hopeful Herman Cain returned to his suburban Georgia home to ask his wife the loaded question: "Should I continue to run even though they're saying that I cheated on you, honey?"
Gloria Cain responded with a load...
Miley Cyrus Says That This Years Christmas Present From Her Mom And Dad Is The Worst One She Has Ever Received
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Miley Cyrus has admitted that lately she has been keeping quite a low profile. She has stated that she really wants to concentrate on getting rid of her devil-may-care attitude and bad-girl reputation.
Miley said that she wants t...
All of The Justin Bieber Baby Mama Talk Has Girlfriend Selena Gomez Now Wanting A Baby
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Justin Bieber's girlfriend Selena Gomez recently appeared on The View and talked about her career, her love for guacamole dip, her fondness for the Lalaloopsy Silly Hair Doll, and her infatuation with her boyfriend Justin Bieber.
Kobe & Kate? - Kobe Bryant Denies The Kate Gosselin Romance Rumors
LOS ANGELES - Well it looks like jolly olde St. Nick wasn't too good to jolly olde St. Kobe as his Los Angeles Lakers were beaten by the Chicago Bulls 88-87 in their NBA Christmas Day season opener in Tinsel Town.
Bryant playing with a torn wrist...
X-Factor's Rachel Crow To Appear With Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder In 'The Vampire Diaries'
LOS ANGELES - The producer of the top rated cable show The Vampire Diaries was watching X-Factor when 13-year-old Rachel Crow was eliminated.
Manolo Middlezuck says that he was amazed to see the pixie little singer standing up and saying that she...
Tabloid journalists left depressed by Gary Speed suicide
Tabloid journalists have been advised to seek help if they become depressed and experience feelings of worthlessness in the wake of the Gary Speed tragedy.
Scores of hardened hacks are reported to have succumbed to stress and resorted to heavy dr...
Kanye West Tells X-Factor Cast-Off Astro Not To Worry That He'll Take Him Under His Wing
HOLLYWOOD - Fifteen-year-old Brian Bradley, AKA Astro was the first of two to be eliminated on the latest edition of X-Factor.
Astro who offended a lot of people when he disrespected the viewers because he had ended up in the bottom two learned a...
Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Stars of 'The Vampire Diaries' Spotted on A Gondola In Venice, Italy In An Intimate PDA
VENICE, Italy - The two stars of The Vampire Diaries were recently photographed together taking a nice trip on a Venitian gondola.
The gondola named La Donna Bellissima Erotica is the very same gondola that George Clooney takes when he and his lad...
Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner's Christmas TV Special "The Damn Grinch Who Stole Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" Named The Season's Best
HOLLYWOOD - Every Christmas season all of the networks schedule dozens and dozens of holiday themed shows, old time Christmas movies, and oodles of seasonal cartoons geared to holly jolly olde St. Nick and the other cast of Christmasy folks.
This...
Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato To Record An Album With X-Factor's Rachel Crow and Drew Ryniewicz
LOS ANGELES - Even though the two youngest members of this year's X-Factor were both eliminated Rachel Crow, 13, and Drew Ryniewicz, 14, are extremely happy.
Both have been informed that Simon Cowell's production company 19th Hole Productions has...
Selena Gomez Reveals Her Long Time Secret Phobia To Justin Bieber
HOLLYWOOD - Selena Gomez recently stated that she has never been happier than when she is with her boyfriend Justin Bieber.
Gomez said that the thing that makes their relationship work is that she is the magnet and he is the steel. She noted that...
After Jay Leno Appearance, Ron Paul Tags Joe Rogan As Running Mate
I caught up with Ron Paul after his very positive showing on the Jay Leno Show. He had some surprising breaking news about his campaign:
WG: Congressman Paul, you really tore the house down on the Jay Leno Show tonight.
RP: I just finished talking to Joe Rogan backstage. You know he came on the show for his segment wearing a Ron Paul shirt! He has agreed to be my running mate. I think he wou...
John Boehner Kills 'Share Christmas With Your Senator'
Washington DC - A program that would have allowed United States Senators to join in the Christmas celebrations of their constituents has been voted down by the House of Representatives.
"We're giving a big 'bah humbug' to that idea," said House Sp...
Exclusive! Peter Andre marriage breakdown: 'I left Katie 'cos her tits exploded'
The much-loved reality star and greek knock-off, Peter Andre has sensationally revealed this week the reasons behind the breakdown of his marriage to human blow-up doll, Katie 'Jordan' Price.
The reasons for the crash and burn of his nuptuals were...
Lance Armstrong: "That syringe sticking out of my thigh is a fashion statement"
Austin, Texas: During what was expected to be a typical post-retirement press conference for the athlete, in which he would announce plans to compete in an ever more mediocre sporting event and blather about cancer, Lance Armstrong's day took a turn...
Giant colony of sloths already inhabits Kepler-22b
Space - A colony of mutant species from the Bradypodidae genus of three-toed sloths is suspected of being indigenous to the newly discovered planet.
Imagery from NASA's Kepler space telescope reveals the distinctive arboreal critters whose closest...
"Cougar Town" Is Cancelled - Demi Moore, Jennifer Lopez, and Mariah Carey Are Devastated
LOS ANGELES - Cougar Town the one show about May-December relationships where the female was December and the male was May looks like it's been kicked to Cellulite Land.
Sangria Wine with TV ClickerWorld stated that the powers that be have decided...
New Steel Panther Album May Lead to Another Medical Miracle
Last summer they inadvertently helped to treat cancer, along with erectile dysfunction. Now in the months following the release of Steel Panther's new album "Balls Out", a study is showing that infertility may be the next medical miracle brought for...
Taylor Swift Divulges Her Illness
MEMPHIS - Taylor Swift is presently in talks with Lions Door Pictures about the possibility of starring in the film A Fussin' and A Fightin' - The Tonya Tucker Story.
The movie is based on the book Delta Dawn Does Da Darn Delta by noted country mu...
The Scandalous Rumors About Kobe Bryant and Eva Longoria
LOS ANGELES - The rumors about who Kobe Bryant was messing around with causing his wife Vanessa to file divorce papers keep swirling out of the infamous rumor mill.
Names that have been mentioned include Jessica Burciaga, Carla DiBello, Sanaa Lath...
Christina Aguilera Reveals The Reason Why She Has Gained So Much Weight
WEST HOLLYWOOD - The girl who revived the careers of genies with her song "Genie In A Bottle" Christina Aguilera recently stated that yes she has in fact packed on quite a bit of weight.
Aguilera talked with Fajita San Guacamole of Hollywood Inn...
Rolling Stones Announce 50th Anniversary World Tour
London - On the heels of a meeting between Keith Richards and Mick Jagger, the Rolling Stones have announced plans for their 50th Anniversary World tour.
The aging duo of Jagger and Richards met for several hours today plotting out how to best cel...
Public Libraries: return books on time or be shot
Police officers can now lawfully shoot those who mock the library fine system. "In some cases during the summer several thousand library books were not taken back on time throughout England. This is totally unacceptable, anti-social behavior which w...
Heidi Montag Is Furious At The 'Tiny Tampon' Shortage
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Heidi Montag is back in the news and this time it is not because the undisputed "Queen of Plastic" has had yet another in her long line of cosmetic surgeries.
The woman who, at last count, had gone under the vanity knife a total...
San Diego Chargers Kicker Nick Novak Gets A Three Day Suspension For Peeing On The Sidelines
SAN DIEGO - San Diego Chargers kicker Nick Novak was reportedly in the bathroom at his home in San Diego when he received a call from a representative of the NFL Committee on Player Game Behavior.
According to Sport Territory Magazine's Tango Bris...
Jon Gosselin Penniless and Broke Asks Ex-Wife Kate Gosselin For A Loan
READING, Pennsylvania - it appears that one of the former stars of the television cable show Jon and Kate Plus 8 has fallen on hard times.
After his divorce from his wife Kate Gosselin, Jon Gosselin became, in his own words, the South Korean Play...
Steven Tyler's Girlfriend Kate Gosselin Denies The Breast Enhancement Rumors
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kate Gosselin who is still upset about the cancellation of her television show Kate Plus 8 was in Los Angeles visiting Kris Kardashian-Jenner, the mama of the KKK girls Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney.
Gosselin who has now had two of he...
Derek Hough of Dancing With The Stars Goes To X-Factor's Nicole Scherzinger's Home And Comforts Her
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Nicole Scherzinger, one of the four X-Factor judges took some unwarranted hits from many viewers who blamed her for 13-year-old Rachel Crow being eliminated from the latest edition of X-Factor.
Sangria Wine of TV ClickerWorld caug...
Eurozone to adopt Higgs Boson as new currency
In an attempt to solve the debt crisis in the Eurozone, the Higgs Boson is to be adopted as the new currency. Difficulty in producing the particle, and the fact that it may not even exist are sure to increase its value, which should boost the Eurozon...
Dorking Video Game 'Unrealistic' say residents
The latest 3D Shoot-em-up setting in the sleepy suburb of Dorking has sparked outrage among residents of the sleepy suburb of Dorking.
"The game is good and all," said resident youth, Jay Stick. "It's just not Dorking, you know."
According to r...
Nike Air Jordan Sneakers; The Real Reason People Fight to Buy Them
The pushing and shoving, the brawls, the pepper spray. That's what some people wanting to snag themselves a pair of the latest Nike Air Jordans have had to endure. Is it worth it?
Those in the know say YES. This is a product beyond compare.
X-Factor's Rachel Crow Is Being Considered For Next Season's Dancing With The Stars
HOLLYWOOD - Little X-Factor cast-off Rachel Crow has just become the most famous 13-year-old in America.
After being eliminated from Simon Cowell's reality music show X-Factor and having a virtual meltdown on stage, live before millions of televis...
Pittsburgh Steelers Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger Finally Agrees To Change His Last Name
PITTSBURGH - After adamantly stating that hell would freeze over and all of the Kardashians would move to Armenia before he would change his last name Ben Roethlisberger has changed his mind.
"Big Ben" as he is known by his Tweeter fans has been t...
Mancini begs Balotelli to quit his five-a-day smoking habit
Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini has revealed that controversial striker Mario Balotelli is refusing to give up a smoking habit thought to involve up to two packets of cigarettes a week.
"I am against smoking - I urged him to give up but I...
Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, and Taylor Swift Give Eliminated X-Factor Singer Drew Some Pointers On How To Succeed In The Music World
HOLLYWOOD - Drew Ryniewicz, 14, was eliminated from the latest edition of X-Factor along with hip hop rapper Astro.
Drew spoke backstage with Margarita Mixx of The Tinsel Town Times Tribune and said that she cried more during her last appearance o...
Michelle Obama Gets An Apology From A U.S. Senator Who Said She Has A Caboose Like Kim Kardashian's
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Wisconsin Senator Jim Sensenbrenner has issued an apology to the first lady Michelle Obama for his extremely insensitive, uncalled for, and very ignorant statement.
The senator from the Cheese State was at Reagan Airport in Wash...
Steve Jobs Still Running Apple -- From Hell
Cupertino, California -- Almost three months after his death, Steve Jobs continues to head Apple Inc., controlling the company from his special place in Hell through a combination of Wi-Fi, G4 and supernatural workarounds.
"I made a pact with the...
Kim Kardashian Calls Kris Humphries the Gay Divorcée
Pretty at the wedding, ugly at the divorce court may be the future of Kim Kardashian. Fred and Ginger made a movie called The Gay Divorcée, but Kris and Kim don't dance unless it is the twostep.
Her dearly departed husband calls her out for duping...
Kim Kardashian Will Be Starring In Her Own Reality Game Show Called "Okay So Who Wants To Be My Next Hubby?"
LOS ANGELES - The word out of Tinsel Town is that the Bravo Network has several producers already working out the final details for the latest reality show from the B Network.
Network Director of New Shows Axton P. Splitboro, 43, informed the ente...
US Scientists discover God living in a massive black-hole!
Scientists at the University of Berkeley, California, have made an amazing discovery; God lives in a black-hole in a galaxy far away called NGC4889.
The other God better known as A+++h (name changed for political reasons) also lives in a massive b...
Charlie Sheen's Heidi Montag Blow Up Inflatable Doll Mysteriously Blows Up!
SHERMAN OAKS - Police were recently called to the Mulholland Estates Mansion of actor Charlie Sheen after reports of some kind of explosion was called in by a neighbor.
According to Sherman Oaks Police, a call was received at police headquarters f...
Michael Jackson alive?!
Santiago, Chile. In developing news, reports are emerging of the late Michael Jackson appearing in public, attending theatre shows and generally being sighted on numerous occasions. On at least one occasion, he was seen purchasing coffee at the Starb...
Kim Kardashian Appears on "The View" and Still Insists That She Will Not Be Returning Any of Her Wedding Gifts Including The Thoroughbred Racehorse
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kim Kardashian recently made a guest appearance on The View and was drilled pretty good by Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg regarding her wedding gifts.
Behar began the conversation by asking, "So tell me Kimmy, married anyone latel...
Jon Corzine Fingers Mr. Potter; Says Life's Not So Wonderful
Washington DC - Failed hedge fund CEO Jon Corzine yesterday called on a House Subcommittee to arrest Henry F. Potter, a Bedford Falls banker and slumlord, for fraud and malfeasance in connection with the collapse of Corzine's MF Global Hedge Fund and...
NBA Suspends Kim Kardashian From All Contact With Players: David Stern Calls Her "Serial Screen Scratcher"
NEW YORK - NBA Commissioner David Stern today suspended Kim Kardashian from future contact with any NBA basketball player currently under contract with one of the teams making up the league.
Calling Kardashian a "serial screen scratcher" who pre...
Ashton Kutcher Says That He Did Not Appreciate Demi Moore's Christmas Gift One Damn Bit!
SHERMAN OAKS, California - The star of Two and A Half Men, Ashton Kutcher, is definitely upset enough for two and a half men.
It seems that Kutcher received a Christmas gift from FedEx which he said was actually in one piece but which he absolute...
The Reason Why The Miley Cyrus Music Video "Move Like Marley" Went Up In Smoke
HOLLYWOOD - Miley Cyrus recently turned 19, and she now feels that she should have a lot more control in things relating to her music career.
But according to a story reported by the El Lay Informer that is just not the case.
Gibraltar Yukon wi...
Kim Jong Il Left $1 Million North Korean Wons To Jon Gosselin
PYONGYANG, North Korea - North Korea's Rice Press News Agency is reporting that the late Kim Jong Il left a net worth of $4 billion.
The bulk of his estate will go to his four children Kim Ah So, Kim Foo Foo, Kim Oh Saki, and Kim Yo Yo Yo.
A re...
Quantum Mechanic Researchers Discover Time Runs Backward!
Dateline Bern, Switzerland, day after tomorrow: Quantum researchers exploring the bizarre world of "string theory", "quantum entanglements", "replicating clothes hangers" , "single socks" and other unexplained phenomenon which A.Einstein will one day...
Cameron Threatens To Nut Sarkozy Over EU Snub - 'Bah Humbug! Bring It On!' Says Diminutive Frenchman
A furious David Cameron, allegedly this evening threatened to head-butt French President Sarkozy, following the much reported incident where Sarkozy snubbed the PM as he vetoed an EU motion, and basically told Germany and France that if they wanted t...
X-Factor Is Becoming More About The Judges Than The Performers As Simon Cowell Takes On The Other Three Judges
HOLLYWOOD - Florida's Melanie Amaro sang "The Earth Song" and she received a tumultuous standing ovation as the last seven contestants on X-Factor performed the songs of Michael Jackson.
Rappers Chris Rene and Astro, alias "Little Kanye" added the...
Kim Kardashian Denies That She's The Reason Why Kobe Bryant's Wife Filed For Divorce
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Since announcing that she was divorcing her philandering Los Angeles Lakers husband Vanessa Bryant has been keeping a very low profile.
So much in fact that even FedEx deliverymen cannot seem to contact her to deliver Christmas p...
'Christmas with the Candidates' to Replace the Trump Debate
New York - Real estate developer Donald Trump has announced that his planned presidential debate has been canceled due to lack of interest and replaced by a holiday special. The program is scheduled to feature all of the remaining Republican candidat...
Indonesian police shave anti-social punks' hair Mohican style as punishment, Oi!
Indonesian punks who behave badly and as anti-socially as punks generally do, are having their heads forcibly shaved Mohican-style as a punishment. There's only one problem; someone forgot to tell the police that Mohican-style haircuts are what globa...
Brad Pitt Is Furious At Angelina Jolie For Dressing Their 5-Year-Old Daughter Like a Boy
LISBON, Portugal - Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and the "Half Dozen" kids were in Portugal where Pitt had gone to promote his latest motion picture Moneyball.
The film which deals with the world of baseball, highlights many of the old baseball clich...
Modern Physics is Simply Made Up
Almost all of modern physics is simply wrong says a new UK government report written by top academics. They argue that about a hundred years ago physics took a wrong turn and has consequently had to invent more and more bizarre theories to keep the s...
Beckham and Tevez to join West Ham
Given the certainty that West Ham will be in the Premier League next season, Uncle Sam Allardyce has obtained the agreement of both David Beckham and Carlos Tevez to sign for the Hammers.
David Beckham speaking from Los Angeles told us exclusively...
Higgs Boson found on Navy Frigate
Crew members aboard the Frigate HMS Rigging have returned to Southampton after six months patrolling the seas around Afghanistan to much confusion.
"We've pulled into port this week," said quartermaster Lou Tennant, "and we're told the entire worl...
Britney Spears Has Come A Long Way Since Her "Playpen" Flashing Days
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Britney Spears recently hit the big 3-Oh. And she says that she does not feel a day over 40.
The blonde singer who is perhaps best noted for being the most infamous lip syncer in the music industry celebrated with her fiancé Jason...
Madonna And Barack Obama To Collaborate In Song And Dance Routine Of Mr. Bojangles At Super Bowl
NEW YORK CITY - Confirming a not-so-well-kept secret, the NFL and NBC announced today that President Barack Obama will indeed collaborate with the Material Woman in a song and dance rendition of Mr. Bojangles during the half-time show of Super Bowl X...
Ron Paul Spelled Backwards: "Luap Nor" (Arabic For Nuke Israel)
SIOUX CITY, IOWA - In the debate last night, Congressman Ron Paul reached out to Iran President and fellow madman, Mahmoud Ahmadinejab. Looking like a troll dropping off the shoulders of a wire hanger, Paul defended the right of Iran to build a nucl...
Demi Moore Getting Back At Ashton Kutcher With a Brand New "Younger" Man In Her Life
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - All of the talk about Demi Moore being devastated at filing for divorce from her "Boy Toy" husband Ashton Kutcher have all vanished like the dreaded South African vuvuzelas.
Demi Moore, the 49-year-old cougar, who was heartbroken...
One of New York Yankees Derek Jeter's One Night Stands Talks About The Super Stars "Parting Gifts"
NEW YORK CITY - One thing for sure New York Yankees superstar and multi-millionaire Derek Jeter, 37, will never ever go broke.
One of the pin stripe heroes overnight girlfriends identified as Buffy "Peaches" Rosenbeaver, 26, informed Carolina Chi...
QPR bit by "rat" Suarez
Neil Warnock has claimed that Liverpool striker Luis Suarez has the most dangerous teeth in the Premier League.
"Suarez was like Ken Dodd on acid out there today. His hampsteads never stopped moving and they tore our defence to shreds. Our forwa...
Auld Lang Syne Lyrics A Mystery
Most Britons make up the lyrics to the traditional New Year ditty Auld Lang Syne a survey has discovered.
Researchers discovered that 37 per cent of us don't know any of the words to the song, written by Robert Burns in 1788.
Most of the adults...
X-Factor Host Steve Jones Will Be Given The Old Heave Ho and Be Replaced By Derek Hough
HOLLYWOOD - It is no secret that Steve Jones hosting X-Factor is kind of like watching a salmon climb out of a river and try to run along the banks - it is a very sad and uncomfortable sight to watch.
Many of the Hollywood publications including T...
X-Factor's Melanie Amaro, Josh Krajcik, and Chris Rene Make It To The X-Factor Finals
HOLLYWOOD - The cool cat singing Marcus Canty was eliminated from the semifinals of X-Factor.
And it was good to see that there was no meltdown like the previous weeks when teens Drew Ryniewics, 14, and Rachel Crow, 13, were sent back home.
Th...
Barbara Walters Says That She Is Retiring Because of Whoopi Goldberg and Elisabeth Hasselbeck
HOLLYWOOD - Barbara Walters at the age of 82, is the undisputed Queen of News Reporting. She was one of the first women to ever appear on national television doing news shows with the likes of noted newsmen such as Hugh Down, Frank McGee, Harry Reaso...
Illuminati to Boehner - "Don't Be a Flaming Suck-Up"
WASHINGTON, DC - Since George Soros "publicly" took ownership of the US Government in January 2009, organizations such as the Trilateral Commission, Illuminati, and the Bilderberg group have practically flaunted their diabolical manipulation of human...
Astronomers Find Massive Black Holes In White House: Fear Them Coming To Hawaii Soon
WASHINGTON - Black holes: "They're the most destructive monsters in the universe. We already knew they can be powerfully massive. Now scientists say they have found the most massive ones yet; as reported in The Billingsgate Journal of Natural Sci...
David Icke predicted Cornwall earthquake 'would be first of many' ahead of Saturday's lunar eclipse
Bodmin - The 2.2 magnitude tremor hit the Lizard Peninsula shortly before 3am in what Icke once prophesied would be the first portent of the Reptilian New Dawn.
Some of his New Age conspiracist pals also reckon the quake is a grim precursor to a g...
Ecstatic Peter Andre's new skincare range flying off shelves : Katie Price 'bloody fuming'
As reported some days ago, everyone's favourite aussie-greek, (do we actually know any others?..Ed.) Peter Andre, launched his new skincare range for men, 'Silli-cleanse by Andre'. Well our sources say that it is already this Christmas's number one s...
Congress' New Years Resolution: End Piracy
I know what you're thinking, but its not the Somali Pirates they are interested in. No, the Disney franchise isn't being threatened either. Today the biggest and most dangerous center of piracy is none other than the internet. This week not just one but two competing bills are making their way through congress to sharply increase the powers of the US Government to combat these dangerous pirates. T...
Pilot for new TV show "Methbusters" ends in disaster
New York, NY - The fire department was called to quell street celebrations here after the live television audience of the pilot for the new reality TV show, "Methbusters", was accidentally exposed to massive amounts of crystal meth, according to anon...
Lindsay Lohan: Taxidermist To The Stars Claims He Mounted Her Like Marilyn Monroe
HOLLYWOOD - Taxidermist to the stars, Dr. Billingsgate, today released information regarding Ms. Lohan that has Hollywood atwitter. For good reason, it appears. Apparently the nude pictures of Lindsay that were supposed to be suppressed until the n...
Morgan Freeman, Jennifer Aniston, Pamela Anderson, and Gwyneth Paltrow To Star In "Oops - The Herman Cain Story"
HOLLYWOOD - TouchRock Films in association with Tri-Moon pictures has announced that production will begin in late December on Staccato Monteverdi's motion picture Oops - The Herman Cain Story.
According to Silver Screen Showcase Magazine the movi...
India lads mag outs Veena Malik 'as Bollywood Anna Chapman'
Pakistan - "I won't be taking this slur lying down," ebony-eyed Pakistani actress, model and sometime comedienne Veena Malik vowed today.
But her country's equivalent of 'MI5' is said to be livid at the publication of its ISI acronym tattooed on t...
Tiger Woods Assaulted With A Hot Dog
CUCAMONGA - Tiger Woods participated in the Second Annual Heidi Montag Invitational Golf Tournament over the weekend.
The Cucamonga Chit-Chat Chronicle is reporting that Woods is extremely upset at being the victim of a hot dog throwing incident w...
COO melamine aspartame scare smokes out secret bar code chip implants for the elite
GENEVA, Switzerland - Hot on the heals of the country of origin (COO) secret melamine bar code revelation comes an even more shocking cover-up than last reported.
"Not fair", is the plaintive cry of industry associations in response to revelatio...
Charlie Sheen Is Being Touted To Be The Host of The New Reality Show "Home Celebrity Rehab"
SHERMAN OAKS - Charlie Sheen says that he has really enjoyed staying out of the limelight lately and added that he has just passed the time sitting back and watching all of the Pepper Spray stuff, the Penn State mess, the fall of Herman Cain, and the...
Kim Kardashian Says She's Been Secretly Fantasizing Doing The Horizontal Hokey Pokey With Ex-Boyfriend Reggie Bush of The Miami Dolphins
BEVERLY HILLS - Kim Kardashian was getting her nails done at the Haven of Hair Salon when she was asked how she was holding up with the circus spectacle of her divorce from NBA player Kris Humphries.
Kim replied that she has really taken it hard,...
Higgs Boson Confusion Causes Head Explosion Outbreak
A spate of head explosions hit news organisations yesterday in the wake of the press conference held by boffins at the Cern laboratory.
Physicists Fabiola Gianotti and Guido Tonelli presented experiment results which scientists reckon provide evid...
Kat Von D To Host A New Reality Game Show Called, "Celebrity Crotch Tattoos"
HOLLYWOOD - One of the most tattooed women in America has just agreed to be the host of her very own reality game show.
Kat Von D, the ex-future wife of "Messy" Jesse James spoke with Sangria Wine of TV ClickerWorld and told her that production on...
Six Million Dollar Man Needs Two Million Dollar Overhaul
When Steve Austin, the Six Million Dollar Man, felt a kink in his neck, he went to his favorite laboratory technician, Mary Weather, for an adjustment.
"I have to sleep on my side these days," said the bionic wonder, "and my hearing doesn't seem t...
Chemtrails Kill Santa
North Pole-- Don't bother looking for Santa Claus this Christmas Eve. He's dead. The jolly old elf died from respiratory failure about a month ago. Santa and his reindeer ran into a nasty patch of chemtrails last year,and the results were fatal.
Angelina Jolie Is Very Depressed Because Brad Pitt Is Planning To Leave Her After The Christmas Holidays
PROVENCE, France - Angelina Jolie, who many consider to be one of the world's most beautiful women and a talented actress has shown her weak side.
According to Gigi de Maupassant with France's Le News Agency Ms. Jolie has been acting extremely err...
Kim Denies Big Booty Sweatshop
The Kardishians -- who make zillions of bucks off of their teeny tiny shoe and big booty fashion lines -- use "unscrupulous labor practices" and have been known to turn a blind eye to shocking working conditions ... this according to a national news...
French company admits problems with breast implants
The French company behind the alleged problems with breast implants has today admitted that there is indeed a problem.
Letitia Brest, a spokesperson, for the manufacturers Nousavonslestittes, went on national television in France to apologise and...
The Erotically Sexy Jennifer Lopez Named "Cougar of The Year"
BROOKLYN - Jennifer Lopez and her brand new boyfriend Caspar Smart were standing in line at a Mr. Swifty Supermarket when she glanced at the magazine rack section and spotted herself on one of the covers.
The publication was TV ClickerWorld and th...
Joey Barton, Robbie Savage and John Terry pay tribute to Socrates
The football world was left dazed and confused this week after the untimely death of the legendary philosopher Socrates.
Born in 469 BC, Socrates was named after the charismatic footballer Socrates who captained Brazil in the 1982 and 1986 World...
Susan Boyle Admits That She Thinks Chaz Bono Is Extremely Cute
CHATTANOOGA - Scottish songstress Susan Boyle recently performed at a sold-out concert at The Ooh La La Convention Center in Chattanooga Tennessee.
Ms. Boyle, a native of Blackburn West Lothian, Scotland gave the cheering crowd three encores incl...
Greatest ever golfer dies - Kim Jong-il
The world of golf was today morning a lost champion in the North Korean leader Kim Jing-il. Aficionados of the sport will remember Jong-il for his legendary one and only game where he hit a 68 below par score that contained no less than 11 holes in o...
Organic Molecules Found on Pluto - International Astronomers Pissed
Following the removal of Pluto's planet status by the International Astronomy Union in 2006, the dead orbiting body has received little respect. That is, until now. Discovered by the Hubbell telescope this past week, Pluto was found to have eviden...
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