Funny story:  Robert Pattinson Likes Older Women

Robert Pattinson Likes Older Women

Twilight luminary Robert Pattinson is very rich. He is very rich because he has earned a lot of money. He has earned a lot of money because he has acted in fillums about sexy star-crossed teen vampires which offer those who don't want to use their imaginations a watered-down and sanitised and dishwater-dull and bastardised version of the Gothic tradition. This, according to commentator Bingo Cashc...
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Funny story:  Taylor Lautner Denies Making 'Profanity Laced' Remarks About Amy Winehouse

Taylor Lautner Denies Making 'Profanity Laced' Remarks About Amy Winehouse

SANTA MONICA BEACH - Taylor Lautner, one of the stars of the Twilight series, and his girlfriend Lily Collins were enjoying themselves down at Santa Monica Beach. The two wore red, white, and blue swimsuits that the very talented Lily Collins, daughter of music icon Phil Collins had personally sewn herself. A crowd had gathered around them and the happy couple gladly allowed them to take all...
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Funny story:  Kate Middleton orthodontist in Grand National glory bid

Kate Middleton orthodontist in Grand National glory bid

Liverpool - The man who's reshaped the gnashers of hundreds of Z-listers - including anorexic trainwreck Kate Middleton - is set to make history at Aintree on Saturday. Sam Waley-Cohen rides 12-1 shot Oscar Time in the Grand National, the first am...
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Funny story:  Royal Wedding To Be A Cannabis Affair

Royal Wedding To Be A Cannabis Affair

London, England - Prince William and his fiance Kate Middleton have chosen to have a 'green' wedding on April 29. The lovers expect to use over one-metric ton of cannabis on their wedding day. Cannabis will be used in all the foods, and there will...
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Funny story:  Actors protest cuts in arts budget

Actors protest cuts in arts budget

Today many celebrities gathered to deliver a petition to Downing Street to protest at the budget cuts for the arts, as part of the government's austerity drive to prevent the UK from becoming bankrupt. At the head of the protests was Captain Jean-...
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Funny story:  Discrimination  Presenter Gets New BBC Job

Discrimination Presenter Gets New BBC Job

Miriam O'Reilly, who won an age discrimination case against the BBC last year, has been given a new role by BBC One. 54 year old O'Reilly, who took the Beeb to an industrial tribunal after losing her job on Countryfile (and won the case) , is taki...
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Funny story:  No wonder Rooney is using foul language....I felt like yelling a few 'Rooney's myself today

No wonder Rooney is using foul language....I felt like yelling a few 'Rooney's myself today

So Rooney's at it again....potty-mouthing. I must admit when I looked at the photos one of today's dailies of MORE 'Ladies' dressed up for Aintree...I saw a picture of his 'glammed-up' mother-in-law' and felt like yelling a few 'Rooney's myself. My gawd...what a putrid, washed out looking 'moo moo' she was wearing. It looked like a faded parachute - similar to the one we used in P.E.
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Funny story:  New Untallied Ballots for Kloppenburg in Wisconsin Supreme Court Contest

New Untallied Ballots for Kloppenburg in Wisconsin Supreme Court Contest

In a stunning development, vote tabulators in Dane and Milwaukee Counties found 10,741 more untallied votes for Wisconsin Democratic candidate JoAnne Kloppenburg and 2,212 more untallied votes for Republican candidate and incumbent David Prosser.
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Funny story:  Report: Passengers Pose More Risk than Airport Scanners

Report: Passengers Pose More Risk than Airport Scanners

NEW YORK - At the United Nations Organisation Conference on Aviation, a new report has suggested that full-body airport scanners pose no risk to traveller safety. It also found out that passengers pose even more of a risk. The United States, Br...
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Funny story:  New LAW Requires Licence For Sex

New LAW Requires Licence For Sex

Early this morning British Prime Minister, David Cameron has passed a law saying that everyone of the ages 16 to 65 must possess a licence to have sex. As part of a new government initiative to promote health and safety when having sex, the lice...
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Funny story:  Wayne Rooney and Gordon Ramsay open new restaurant called "F the FA" it's a f+++++g 5 star!

Wayne Rooney and Gordon Ramsay open new restaurant called "F the FA" it's a f+++++g 5 star!

Ex-footballer and TV chef superstar, f+++++g Gordon Ramsay and f+++++g enfant terriblé, Wayne Rooney, are opening a joint venture restaurant called "F the FA". Wayne who's so fed up eating out because f+++++g Coleen can't cook, decided to contact...
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Funny story:  Religious book burning sparks riot

Religious book burning sparks riot

A riot today broke out in the canteen of Oxshirebridge University, as news filtered through that a student capable of thinking for himself, had burnt a copy of the 'Origin of Species', the Holy book of the evolutionist cult. As many as three cre...
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Funny story:  University Drop-Out Rates "Nothing To Worry About" Says Top Academic

University Drop-Out Rates "Nothing To Worry About" Says Top Academic

A new report reveals that 76,000 students who started degrees in 2008 will fail to graduate this summer. The figures, compiled by the Higher Education Statistics Agency, represent a drop-out rate of 21 per cent. At London Metropolitan University t...
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Funny story:  Boozing is good for you if you don't want to know about cancer!

Boozing is good for you if you don't want to know about cancer!

Scientists have discovered that the more you booze the more lightly you are to get cancer, not only; smoking, unhealthy eating, drinking fizzy sugary drinks a la coca cola, etc, filthy environments, too much sex, too little sex, too much oral sex, ma...
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Funny story:  Arianna Huffington: Writers are 'Free' to Write What they Want As Long As I Don't Have To Pay Them!

Arianna Huffington: Writers are 'Free' to Write What they Want As Long As I Don't Have To Pay Them!

Former Conservative Media Moglette turned rabid liberal, Arianna Huffington, fresh from pocketing $315M after unloading The Huffington Post to a gullible AOL, confirmed that she had just made redundant the last of the paid writers employed by AOL.
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Funny story:  Tripoli blitzkrieg nuke sub shootings: cops hunt 'Gaddafi suspects' in Southampton docks

Tripoli blitzkrieg nuke sub shootings: cops hunt 'Gaddafi suspects' in Southampton docks

Southampton - Her volley of cruise missiles wiped out two turds - er...thirds! - of the Libyan Air Farce during the coalition's Vernal Equinox strike. At lunchtime today Royal Navy Police were scouring Southampton docks near UK nuclear flagship su...
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Funny story:  Japan's radiation poses no risk to health.

Japan's radiation poses no risk to health.

Scientists are warning they may have underestimated the health risks associated with smoking cigarettes. They say there is evidence to show even minor contact with the toxins found in cigarette smoke, such as what has been referred to as passive smok...
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Funny story:  Justin Bieber causes medical emergency by talking about his penis

Justin Bieber causes medical emergency by talking about his penis

Teenage heart and other bodily area throbber Justin Bieber has got himself into a spot of bother with hordes of screaming girls as a result of his witterings on the stage of the O2 White Elephant arena in London. He was attempting to demonstrate t...
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Funny story:  Frankie Boyle confirmed as the UK's unfunniest man

Frankie Boyle confirmed as the UK's unfunniest man

In a poll conducted by Mori (Maurice Flanagan, a farmer from Co Monaghan in Ireland to give him his full name), it has been firmly concluded that Frankie Boyle, the self-styled funny Scottish comedian, is not even the remotest bit funny, although he...
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Funny story:  A Three-Time Loser

A Three-Time Loser

John at last breathed in the sweet air of freedom. He was just released from prison. After 20 years for robbery, he was finally going to see Mary and marry her. He was going to go straight. He had already done "time" twice in his career, one for robbery and the other for manslaughter and he knew that if he ever got convicted of a crime again, it would be for "life" ---- forever. So,...
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Funny story:  Rap Artist Sued by J.K. Rowling

Rap Artist Sued by J.K. Rowling

Justin Thyme, founder and lead singer of the rap band "Beetroot To Me" is in deep water with J.K.Rowling after the release of his latest song "Rake N' Vac" from his album "Plagiarhythm". Rowling's followers of course do not believe in plagiarism but...
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Funny story:  Celebrity Gossip: Scrotum Watch!

Celebrity Gossip: Scrotum Watch!

Today in Celebrity Gossip, we're talking balls! That's right, our papparazzi have been busying snooping and snapping and bringing you the latest scrotum shots of the stars. Exciting gossip for fans of the Royal Wedding. Prince William's sack was p...
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Funny story:  The Lady Gaga - Beyonce Feud Continues To Heat Up!

The Lady Gaga - Beyonce Feud Continues To Heat Up!

LOS ANGELES - The infamous Lady Gaga-Beyonce Feud which started several weeks ago shows no signs of letting up. The feud between the two divas started when each one made fun of the other one's name. The name-calling soon escalated into more seriou...
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Funny story:  The Reasons Why Todd Palin Says That His Wife Sarah Palin Needs To Enter Into A Rehab Clinic

The Reasons Why Todd Palin Says That His Wife Sarah Palin Needs To Enter Into A Rehab Clinic

WASILLA, Alaska - Todd Palin, whom Sarah referred to during her failed vice-presidential campaign of 2008, as the "First Dude" says that he has grown extremely concerned with the well-being state of his wife-mother-huntress Sarah Louise Palin. Tod...
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Funny story:  MTV Further Disintegrates Civilized Culture By Greenlighting Paulie D, Snooki "Jersey Shore" Spinoffs

MTV Further Disintegrates Civilized Culture By Greenlighting Paulie D, Snooki "Jersey Shore" Spinoffs

MTV, the basic-cable cesspool that is single-handedly ruining the United States of America, accelerates said ruination by ordering twelve episodes each of two "Jersey Shore" spinoffs. "Our research shows that there are still between 25,000 and 50,...
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Funny story:  The Biggest Shocker In American Idol History - The Favorite To Win It All, Pia Toscano Is Eliminated!

The Biggest Shocker In American Idol History - The Favorite To Win It All, Pia Toscano Is Eliminated!

LOS ANGELES - As American Idol Host Ryan Seacrest asked that the stage lights be dimmed, He remarked that the night's "Bottom Three" consisted of Stefano "Lasagna" Langone, Jacob "Ebeneezer Baptist" Lusk, and Pia "The Model" Toscano. "Peaches" Seacrest quickly sent Jacob back to the "Safe Seats" leaving Stefano and Pia alone under the bright American Idol spotlights, which many have said are so...
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Funny story:  Writing Instrumental In Stopping Reoffending

Writing Instrumental In Stopping Reoffending

A recent report suggests that prisoners who become interested in writing while in prison are much less likely to reoffend when they are released. The Writers In Prison Network has published figures that suggest that inmates who participate in writ...
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Funny story:  The Queen - The Upskirt Story

The Queen - The Upskirt Story

During wedding fever between two young people who have no real right to throne, the Press, and Photographers in general will do anything to get, in their words a picture of "the magic triangle"..a view of that slip of cloth can provide instant reward, or if it ends in failure, a rigorous beating by those in the know. Photographers from the Sunday Sparrow were found angling their Cameras towards...
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Funny story:  Hadron collider in major collision!

Hadron collider in major collision!

The so-called Large Hadron Collider, buried deep underground somewhere in Switzerland finally proved its worth yesterday when at 4.21 pm in the afternoon (GMT) it collided with a large hadron. A loud cheer rang through the echoing caverns - this w...
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