Funny story:  Wayne Rooney in Four Word Outburst

Wayne Rooney in Four Word Outburst

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney stunned millions of television viewers by revealing he now has a vocabulary of four words. After completing his hat-trick in the 4-2 win over West Ham United at Upton Park, Rooney shouted the words 'Fucking w...
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Funny story:  Commentary: Please Don't Save the Whales. Seriously

Commentary: Please Don't Save the Whales. Seriously

BY SQUEAKY THE WHALE Look, thanks. Firstly, just thank you. You really have gotten into gear to save my species, you humans. Stopping the Japanese fishermen, stopping people from skinning us. Thanks. But, really... you're still killing us, unwittingly. It's great, letting us back into the wild. My cousin, Larry, was in the Aqautic London Zoo. Airlifted to Alaska. Great place. One problem.
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Funny story:  Car Crash on Motorway Reminds Nation of Death of Diana

Car Crash on Motorway Reminds Nation of Death of Diana

BIRMINGHAM - Known for the fact that nearly every motorway in the country passes through it, a multi-vehicle pile-up reminds us of the fragility of human life, especially that of Princess Diana. The collision occurred at 2.45pm between Junction 6...
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Funny story:  Snooki Advises Toni Morrison to Get a Pouf

Snooki Advises Toni Morrison to Get a Pouf

Don't count Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, "The Jersey Shore" star, among those who were shocked to learn that she was paid $32,000 for her talk at Rutgers University, while famous author Toni Morrison is being paid only $30,000 to give the Rutgers commenc...
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Funny story:  MoD UFO Workers sacked

MoD UFO Workers sacked

As part of government cuts, the department in the Ministry of Defence that deals with all of the crap sent in by the public about their UFO sightings has been closed. The department has been operating since 1950. The need was identified when membe...
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Funny story:  Mentally Challenged Victims of IQ Scam May Get Their Money Back

Mentally Challenged Victims of IQ Scam May Get Their Money Back

ATLANTA, GA - People with below average intelligence, whether it be from heredity, birth defect, or brain injury, are now targets of yet another scam in which the perpetrators claim to be able to raise the IQ of an affected person by as much as 50 po...
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Funny story:  Liz Taylor's Ghost "On the beat"

Liz Taylor's Ghost "On the beat"

Liz Taylor's ghost has been seen several times walking the streets of downtown Manhattan dressed only in a shortie see-through cotton shift after having finally found her true vocation. The local girls were quite upset to see her strutting her stuff on their beat and were very relieved when she failed to scare off any of the randy punters. "She is somewhat past her sell by date," one scantil...
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Funny story:  Cube shaped sumo wrestler rescued

Cube shaped sumo wrestler rescued

Tokyo - A terminally fat Sumo Wrestler was in the hospital yesterday according to neighbors who found him fused to the wallpaper of his bedroom. His girlfriend had been feeding the man uncooked rice flavored with aspartame. Such rice has more...
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Funny story:  Willie Hague blunders again in Middle East

Willie Hague blunders again in Middle East

Arab league members were truly amazed and dismayed when William Hague attended a charity masquerade ball last night dressed as a crusader knight. Ably supported by the lovely Ffion he staggered in red faced under the weight of the costume and spe...
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Funny story:  "Blue's" Simon Web In "You Tube" 'Nudey Rudey' Video Sensation With 'TOWIE' Girl Chloe Simons

"Blue's" Simon Web In "You Tube" 'Nudey Rudey' Video Sensation With 'TOWIE' Girl Chloe Simons

'The Only Way Is Essex' star Chloe was caught 'inflagrante delicto' on top of her friend's boyfriend boy band Blue's, Simon Webb. The plastic fantastic playboy model was found splayed over Layla's boyfriend only wearing a short white dress, stilet...
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Funny story:  'Skinnymalinx" Victoria's Secret Model Is Gradually Vanishing

'Skinnymalinx" Victoria's Secret Model Is Gradually Vanishing

A skeletal thin lingerie model is gradually fading away. She is gradually growing thinner and thinner. The South African beauty is worried by her gradual loss of weight. She said, "I bought some special 'vanishing cream' and rubbed it on my butt...
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Funny story:  Elizabeth Taylor's jewelry appraised only to discover - all pieces are fake

Elizabeth Taylor's jewelry appraised only to discover - all pieces are fake

After close examination of the late Elizabeth Taylor's jewelry a spokesman for her estate made this announcement, "I am embarrassed to tell you that we have had Ms. Taylor's jewelry appraised and were shocked to be told that every piece is 'fake'. Apparently, Ms. Taylor had to pawn her collection piece by piece over the past 5 or 6 years, in order to pay medical bills, staff wages etc. It...
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Funny story:  Governor Chris Christie:  "Rude, crude, and unattractive rocks!"

Governor Chris Christie: "Rude, crude, and unattractive rocks!"

Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey held a press conference and town hall meeting yesterday to explain his position on running for president. He started his remarks by saying, "Rude, crude, & Unattractive rocks! You got a problem with that?!" The attendees yelled in unison, "NO!" Christie continued: "You want a beauty queen or a snob, go look someplace else. You ever look in a mirror?...
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Funny story:  Goodwillie Embarrassed By Rooney Comparison

Goodwillie Embarrassed By Rooney Comparison

Dundee United striker has admitted he was "embarrassed" by his manager comparing him with Man Utd's Wayne Rooney. Tangerines boss Peter Houston compared his prized possession to the England striker after his spectacular overhead goal against Mothe...
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Funny story:  Caley Thistle v Celtic Game Postponed

Caley Thistle v Celtic Game Postponed

Today's Scottish Premier League fixture between Inverness Caley Thistle and Celtic has been postponed after an incident in a local hotel involving the Parkhead club. Highland and Islands Police officers were called to the luxury Rocpool Reserve Ho...
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Funny story:  Willetts Attacked Over Feminism Remark

Willetts Attacked Over Feminism Remark

The Universities Minster David Willetts is under fire from opposition MP's and women's groups after claiming that feminism had been the main obstacle to social mobility. But Willetts has hit back, alleging that his comments were taken out of conte...
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Funny story:  "Friday" kills 18 in Massive Pileup

"Friday" kills 18 in Massive Pileup

Today a Kansas city Turnpike was the seen of a horrific disaster, as a seen out of Apocalypse Now or some other god awful war scene epic. Highway 635 was held up after a 3pm pile up of massive SUV's and one Toyota Scion. As the survivors were questio...
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Funny story:  Charity Fund For Deprived Pupils

Charity Fund For Deprived Pupils

The Crodyon Trust educational charity is to take over the running of a fund aimed at helping disadvantaged children. £125 million will be available to the Trust over the next 10 years, mainly in the form of government grants. The fund will be m...
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Funny story:  Obama to Order 80,000 US Troops on Mediterranean Sea Vacation

Obama to Order 80,000 US Troops on Mediterranean Sea Vacation

WASHINGTON, DC - Sometime in March, thousands of USMC troops from Camp Lejeune, North Carolina received orders from Obama to deploy to the Mediterranean, while Congress remained unaware of the President's use of American soldiers. President Obama:...
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Funny story:  A New World Religion On the Map

A New World Religion On the Map

Northern Ireland's Presbyterian minister Ian Paisley has opened talks with Colonel Gaddafi in an attempt to broker a peace in the Middle East. No stranger to incipient civil war situations Dr. Paisley said: "I can see a way forward out of this re...
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Funny story:  All The Behind-The-Scenes American Idol Gossip About Guest Singer Fantasia "Full-Figured" Barrino Surprisingly Singing A Song All About Food

All The Behind-The-Scenes American Idol Gossip About Guest Singer Fantasia "Full-Figured" Barrino Surprisingly Singing A Song All About Food

HOLLYWOOD - Fantasia Barrino, the winner of American Idol season number three, in 2004, returned to the AI stage and performed her newest song. The song which was written by Kara DioGuardi and Ellen DeGeneres, two former AI judges who were both fi...
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Funny story:  Southwest's "Breached Hull In Aircraft Discount Program" Put On Hold

Southwest's "Breached Hull In Aircraft Discount Program" Put On Hold

Southwest Airlines --the air travelers's absolute last resort-- whose Scratch-and-Dent / Breached Hull Aircraft Discount Program drew tens of new customers to the company, has been told to discontinue the program after a flight made an emergency lan...
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Funny story:  D.A. In Paris Hilton Cocaine Possession Case Busted for (Wait For It...) Cocaine Possession.

D.A. In Paris Hilton Cocaine Possession Case Busted for (Wait For It...) Cocaine Possession.

The Los Angeles County D.A. who prosecuted the cocaine possession cases of Paris Hilton and Bruno Mars with all the fervor that Charlie Sheen chases whiskey-flavored hooker vaginas has been busted... for cocaine possession. David Schubert was pull...
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Funny story:  Stupid Government Still Not Listening to Protesters

Stupid Government Still Not Listening to Protesters

LONDON - The douchebag government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland has yet again turned a blind eye towards its loserific actions against peaceful protesters. UK Uncut, a peaceful protest movement - as guaranteed by trad...
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Funny story:  Prince William to Inherit Kingdom of  Mongo as Well!

Prince William to Inherit Kingdom of Mongo as Well!

It was revealed recently by family barristers that Prince William stands to inherit the planet Mongo from the estate of Charles Middleton (AKA Emperor Ming the Merciless) great grandfather of his bride to be Kate Middleton. A stipulation in his w...
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Funny story:  Top Seven Great...: Song Titles and Albums

Top Seven Great...: Song Titles and Albums

Music is one of the most widely known art forms, with many genres, pop, rock, jazz, blues, (c)rap, and others. Oh, and Ben Folds. Here are some great song titles and albums from the modern era. 1) "The Undertaker's Thirst for Revenge is Unquenchable (The Final Battle)" - Chiodos [S] 2) "One Angry Dwarf and Two Hundred Solemn Faces" - Ben Folds [s] 3) "You Are Fired (Take This Job, Ah,...
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