Funny story:  The Jersey Shore's "Snooki" Fined $500 For Tossing Pizza Slices At Unsuspecting Seagulls

The Jersey Shore's "Snooki" Fined $500 For Tossing Pizza Slices At Unsuspecting Seagulls

SEASIDE HEIGHTS, New Jersey - The Jersey Shore's cast member known as "Snooki" has been fined $500 for throwing pizza slices at unsuspecting seagulls. The Jersey Shore's pint-sized actress, whose real name is Nicole Polizzi, told Seaside Heights p...
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Funny story:  Slave to Love?

Slave to Love?

Robert Pattisnon has hit back at recent gossip column claims that he is Kristen Stewarts "slave". "Its just simply not true," , he said in a recent interview over a beer and cigarette in a bar in Texas. "It is true, that I sometimes run errands...
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Funny story:  Prostitutes to sue Rooney

Prostitutes to sue Rooney

"BAPS" - The British Association of ProstituteS - announced today its intention to sue Manchester United player, Wayne Rooney. Rooney, once again in the news for paying for sex has now been deemed by the organsation as damaging its important brand...
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Funny story:  America asks - Who is Piers Morgan?

America asks - Who is Piers Morgan?

After it was announced that Larry King will be replaced by Piers Morgan on CNN, millions of Americans asked the question - Who is Piers Morgan? Well after several minutes of investigative journalism the Spoof can now reveal everything an American...
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Funny story:  "Juicy Jeni" Scores Big Adult Sex Toy  Endorsement From Arkansas Mail Order Company!

"Juicy Jeni" Scores Big Adult Sex Toy Endorsement From Arkansas Mail Order Company!

A spokesman for the marketing company representing Wayne Rooney's practice goalie, Jenny Thompson, announced today the industrious sex worker scored big outside of Rooney's bedroom with a 'high 6 figure endorsement contract with a major US mail orde...
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Funny story:  Book burning to go ahead

Book burning to go ahead

The proposed book burning in Hyde Park of Tony Blair's biography is to go ahead, despite pleas from George Bush to the organisers of the event to desist. 'We feel this demonstration will mean a great deal to those who feel strongly about the harm...
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Funny story:  Homeless Homo Hobo Forms New Political Movement

Homeless Homo Hobo Forms New Political Movement

BOSTON, MA - Frank Barney, a homosexual homeless man residing on Newbury Street held a press conference today to announce the formation of a new political movement, The PEE-Party. Barney said "We are tired of having to urinate in alleys and sleep...
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Funny story:  Mel Gibson Ordered To Attend Anger Management Classes And On The First Day He Threatens To Attack The Instructor

Mel Gibson Ordered To Attend Anger Management Classes And On The First Day He Threatens To Attack The Instructor

OXNARD, California - The state of California has mandated that part of Mel Gibson's journey back to sensibility is a ten-step anger management program conducted at Oxnard's Pacific Coast A&M University. State spokesperson Courtland B. Bickavec...
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Funny story:  Scottish footy team booted out of pro soccer!

Scottish footy team booted out of pro soccer!

The once so proud Scottish footy team and its kilted Tartan Army have been booted out of the pro-Soccer world and forced back into amateur status. The reasons are quite clear, Scotland are just bloody awful and after their dismal display against t...
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Funny story:  Brigitte Bardot Launches Jackass Nine!

Brigitte Bardot Launches Jackass Nine!

The one-time sex goddess of movies has launched a complaint against a Russian television station over a Jackass stunt, according to a Russian newspaper I won't even try to write down. "They show people who take a jackass and strapped it to a paras...
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Funny story:  On Koran burning and equally despicable acts of Islamist terrorim - God says "Enough is enough"

On Koran burning and equally despicable acts of Islamist terrorim - God says "Enough is enough"

As inter-faith groups, the Vatican, politicians, Army generals and reasonable people all over the world question the sanity of the Florida idiot-preacher who is threatening to burn the Koran, the Chief God of Gods has now stepped into the debate.
View 'On Koran burning and equally despicable acts of Islamist terrorim - God says "Enough is enough"'
Funny story:  Mel Gibson Has Alzheimers Disease!

Mel Gibson Has Alzheimers Disease!

People wondering what happened to Mel Gibson over the past couple of years have seen a complete breakdown of the famous actor. He divorced his wife after a marriage that lasted longer than 95% of those in Hollywood. He then took up with a much...
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Funny story:  Celestial death spiral appears over Balmoral

Celestial death spiral appears over Balmoral

Scotland - (Portents): The IRAs 23166+1655-designated dust spiral in the constellation of Pegasus was spotted by the Hubble telescope this morning. The phenomenon, known as a pre-planetary nebula, is a classic prelude to a super star's end, tradi...
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Funny story:  Hurricane Higgins Cleared of Snooker Match Fixing Due to His Being Dead

Hurricane Higgins Cleared of Snooker Match Fixing Due to His Being Dead

Alex 'Hurricane' Higgins was yesterday found to be innocent of match-fixing allegations after it transpired that he was in fact deceased at the time. Higgins, who chose not to appear in court, had always previously maintained his innocence but su...
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Funny story:  CNN finally confirms Larry King was just a dessicated mummy - replaces him with waxy Piers Morgan

CNN finally confirms Larry King was just a dessicated mummy - replaces him with waxy Piers Morgan

NEW YORK, NEW YORK: Struggling network CNN has finally confirmed what America already knew - that 105-year old prime-time TV interviewer Larry King died long ago and his embalmed, shiny body posed on a hidden puppeteer's knee had been masquerading a...
View 'CNN finally confirms Larry King was just a dessicated mummy - replaces him with waxy Piers Morgan'
Funny story:  Robotcops use Ashwarya Rai influenced Bollywood choreography to confront pro-Pak stone pelters in Kashmir

Robotcops use Ashwarya Rai influenced Bollywood choreography to confront pro-Pak stone pelters in Kashmir

KASHMIR, INDIA: Perplexed pro-Pak stone pelters in this Indian state are facing a new nemesis - Robot-cops. In a scene reminiscent of sci-fi bots of yore, Kashmir troops are now clad in high-tech black riot gear, covered head to foot in plastic a...
View 'Robotcops use Ashwarya Rai influenced Bollywood choreography to confront pro-Pak stone pelters in Kashmir'
Funny story:  Pair of "Bunnies" get mutilated in the UK and Playboy boss Hugh Hefner is furious.

Pair of "Bunnies" get mutilated in the UK and Playboy boss Hugh Hefner is furious.

A pair of innocent UK "Bunnies" were found mutilated with their ears chopped off and thrown in a cardboard box and when Hugh Hefner heard the story he thought it was about 2 of his UK "Bunnies"1 From the US he ordered the Britsh MI5 to go and sear...
View 'Pair of "Bunnies" get mutilated in the UK and Playboy boss Hugh Hefner is furious.'
Funny story:  Jennifer Thompson Has Been Asked To Appear On The Next Season of Dancing On Ice

Jennifer Thompson Has Been Asked To Appear On The Next Season of Dancing On Ice

LONDON - The producer of the popular British show Dancing on Ice, Burgess Willowhouse, has just announced that he has asked the very popular prostitute Jennifer Thompson to appear as a contestant on the next edition of the highly rated ice dancing sh...
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Funny story:  Scarborough, Whitby and N. Yorkshire Councils, successfully rewarded with 'Jobsworth Achievements Citation'.

Scarborough, Whitby and N. Yorkshire Councils, successfully rewarded with 'Jobsworth Achievements Citation'.

Pannetts Park in Whitby, North Yorkshire: Jobsworth Park Officer approaches an eight month pregnant lady and her 3 year old son, to tell her about a by-law that her young son's bicycle stabilisers were a health and safety hazard. The Jobsworth Pa...
View 'Scarborough, Whitby and N. Yorkshire Councils, successfully rewarded with 'Jobsworth Achievements Citation'.'
Funny story:  Quran Burning Church to Merge with "God Hates Fags" Church

Quran Burning Church to Merge with "God Hates Fags" Church

In a not too surprising pair of coordinated press releases, Shirley Phelps-Rogers of Westboro Baptist Church and Rev. Terry Jones of Dove World Outreach Center today announced plans to merge into a single hate filled church of ignorant lunatics. The...
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Funny story:  Cowboys Don't Complain

Cowboys Don't Complain

Unlike the stoic British, who bravely endure, cowboys accept their lot by simmering until they boil. Kicking a rock as hard as possible is an acceptable resolution for pent up anger. Or, if there is a rattlesnake handy, stomping the hell out of him before he bites you is high on the kick butt list of cowboy psychological frustration responses. Ignoring a whiner, who in response escalates his ve...
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Funny story:  Joe Biden On Chicago: "The Windy City is Great, I got a a Blow Job There Once!

Joe Biden On Chicago: "The Windy City is Great, I got a a Blow Job There Once!

VP Joe Biden stepped in it again when he was caught on mike at the White House Press conference where Obama was praising retiring Chicago Mayor Richard Daley, and appointing him as Ambassador to Pakistan. Biden, with eyes glazed over, suddenly cam...
View 'Joe Biden On Chicago: "The Windy City is Great, I got a a Blow Job There Once!'
Funny story:  Obama Defies Critics: Mayor Daley 'eminently qualified to be Ambassador to Pakistan!"

Obama Defies Critics: Mayor Daley 'eminently qualified to be Ambassador to Pakistan!"

With the announcement that Chicago Mayor Richard Daley is retiring, President Obama was faced with a new catastrophic hole to fill, and he wasted no time in plugging it announcing Daley would be his ambassador to Pakistan! The Daley family has run...
View 'Obama Defies Critics: Mayor Daley 'eminently qualified to be Ambassador to Pakistan!"'
Funny story:  "Woodman, Spare That Tree!"

"Woodman, Spare That Tree!"

One of the best feuds to surface since the famous Hatfield and McCoys has erupted in the aptly named, one horse town of, Western Mill,near Plymouth. Seemingly, it all started way back in 1991 when broody,overweight, blond, blue-eyed East German ma...
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Funny story:  Children Who Eat Alpha-Bits Cereal 30% Smarter Than Those Who Don't

Children Who Eat Alpha-Bits Cereal 30% Smarter Than Those Who Don't

Here is another story about your tax dollars being put to good use. A research scientist in Battle Creek, Michigan, home of a couple of the largest cereal manufacturers in the United States, has just concluded a year-long study into the effects certa...
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Funny story:  Jesus Commands Muslim Burning and Koran Burning in the Holy Bible

Jesus Commands Muslim Burning and Koran Burning in the Holy Bible

The Holy Scripture of Islam is the Old Testament, the New Testament, the Koran and the Hadith. The 1.5 billion Muslim people on Earth today are eagerly awaiting the return of their two Messiahs, the Hidden Imam and Jesus Christ. What the Muslim peopl...
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Funny story:  Florida Pastor's 'Burn A Koran Day' Not The Best Idea

Florida Pastor's 'Burn A Koran Day' Not The Best Idea

Florida pastor Terry Jones, of the Dove World Outreach Centre has been advised that his idea to publically burn copies of sacred Islamic text, The Koran, on the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks is probably not the greatest brainwave he ever had. Hi...
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Funny story:  Stephen Hawking to appear on 'Dancing on Ice'

Stephen Hawking to appear on 'Dancing on Ice'

TV bosses in charge of the BBC programme 'Dancing on Ice', have expressed their delight at the reported increase in viewing figures for the last series, brought about by the inclusion of amputee, Heather Mills as a contestant. A BBC spokesman said...
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Funny story:  Police sergeant who assaulted female prisoner jailed for 6 months, ordered to be pelted with shoes, dumped in a trash can, have his phone hacked and receive extra tax bill

Police sergeant who assaulted female prisoner jailed for 6 months, ordered to be pelted with shoes, dumped in a trash can, have his phone hacked and receive extra tax bill

There were dramatic scenes at Oxford Magistrates Court yesterday as Deputy District Judge Peter Greenfield invoked the common law to sentence a police officer for assaulting a prisoner in custody. Sergeant Mark Andrews has been convicted in July of a...
View 'Police sergeant who assaulted female prisoner jailed for 6 months, ordered to be pelted with shoes, dumped in a trash can, have his phone hacked and receive extra tax bill'
Funny story:  James Bond Retires Suit for Business Casual

James Bond Retires Suit for Business Casual

Elegant British super spy and womanizer James Bond is ditching his iconic Savile Row suits and other formal wear to sport a more casual look, an MI6 spokesperson says. "Agent 007 isn't immune to the times," the spokesperson says. "He understands b...
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Funny story:  Rooney second string hooker Helen Wood: curse of La Cervara hexed Wayne/Coleen nuptials

Rooney second string hooker Helen Wood: curse of La Cervara hexed Wayne/Coleen nuptials

Manchester - (Gonads): The slinky Salford slapper has blamed an ancient Roman curse for blighting Wayne and Coleen's nuptials. Helen Wood, 23, whose three-in-a-bed antics have rocked the nation, said today the 2008 La Cervara ceremony 'was hexed'...
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Funny story:  Puffy Homosexual From Beetlejuice Finally Dies: No, Not Catherine O'Hara...

Puffy Homosexual From Beetlejuice Finally Dies: No, Not Catherine O'Hara...

Gravity exacted the universe's revenge on gihugic knob-gobbler Glenn Shadix, who creeped out anyone that ever saw him, by accelerating his noggin into the floor of his Birmingham, Alabama (!) home, killing him. Shadix began embarrassing his paren...
View 'Puffy Homosexual From Beetlejuice Finally Dies: No, Not Catherine O'Hara...'
Funny story:  Lindsay Lohan Has Called Roger Clemens And Told Him Prision Isn't So Bad If You Look Like Her

Lindsay Lohan Has Called Roger Clemens And Told Him Prision Isn't So Bad If You Look Like Her

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Lindsay Lohan, the former convict, inmate, and prisoner, has reportedly called up the once baseball hall of fame shoe-in Roger Clemens and tried to make him feel better about his legal situation. LiLo told the ex-pitcher known as...
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Funny story:  Waxy Meathole Danielle Staub Fired From... Ah, who cares.

Waxy Meathole Danielle Staub Fired From... Ah, who cares.

AS if anyone really cares, hideous TV-fungus Danielle Staub is officially gone from Real Housewives of New Jersey after two seriously drama-packed... Ok, seriously. Does anyone really give a crap about this woman? I mean, give me a break. You kno...
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Funny story:  World's Shortest Man title at risk

World's Shortest Man title at risk

Edward Hernandez is currently the world's shortest man, standing at a mere twenty-seven inches tall. With the title came the job offers and lucrative sponsorship deals for children's clothing. However, the Columbian dwarf's title is under threat f...
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Funny story:  Prince Charles Promotes Biofuel Trains

Prince Charles Promotes Biofuel Trains

Prince Charles is touring the country in a train that runs on biofuel in an attempt to educate the country for a green future. The train runs on carbon neutral ligneous cellulose grown on wasteland, producing as much carbon dioxide as was taken up...
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Funny story:  Kanye West Says He's Gonna Write An Apology Song To Taylor Swift

Kanye West Says He's Gonna Write An Apology Song To Taylor Swift

CRAB ORCHARD, West Virginia - Kanye West had just finished performing before a crowd of 17, at The Motel Three's lounge in Crab Orchard. Afterward he was asked how he was getting along. He grinned and said that he wasn't getting along too good. He...
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Funny story:  Alex Reid discovers Chilean miners in wife, Jordan's vagina

Alex Reid discovers Chilean miners in wife, Jordan's vagina

In a quite startling news story today, Alex Reid, husband of Katie Price aka Jordan, has reportedly discovered six Chilean miners inside his wife's vagina. A spokesman for the San Antonio Metal Mining Company confirmed that six of their employees...
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Funny story:  World's Saddest Superstar - Keanu Reeves - Accidentally Spends his Birthday in a Warehouse instead of a Whorehouse

World's Saddest Superstar - Keanu Reeves - Accidentally Spends his Birthday in a Warehouse instead of a Whorehouse

Action Hero's Sandwich Vendor Opens his Heart to this Reporter. Ever since achieving worldwide fame with the Matrix trilogy, Hollywood Superstar Keanu Reeves seems to have descended into a world of greyness. Countless "Sad Keanu" websites have...
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Funny story:  2012 Olympic Mascot slaughtered!

2012 Olympic Mascot slaughtered!

It seems that Wenlock and Mandeville, the new 2012 Olympic mascots, are causing immense problems for the Olympic committee. Amid accusations that their design was influenced by free-masons, zionists and gay rights campaigners, an internal dispute...
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Funny story:  Midsomer Murders Cover-Up - Barnaby Fired Shock!

Midsomer Murders Cover-Up - Barnaby Fired Shock!

Sleepy Midsomer is set to be rocked by revelations that one of its top detectives is not retiring, as reported throughout the media, but has been fired. The Spoof has been shown internal documents from the Midsomer Constabulary HQ at Causton that...
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Funny story:  Rooney scores, proving removing whores' drawers reduces flaws

Rooney scores, proving removing whores' drawers reduces flaws

England manager Fabio Capello bigged up Wayne Rooney's display, he also said that he was happy with the way he played football and scored on Tuesday night, his first England goal in a while. The Manchester United striker is an integral part of the...
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Funny story:  Mourning Over

Mourning Over

'England won again.' 'Good!' exclaimed Penny's Mum 'perhaps now the mourning will be over.' 'Temporarily, at least. Still a bit shaky and we have yet to meet strong opposition. Montenegro will be a real test.' 'Montenegro? Where on earth is that? Heavens, if England can't beat them they should be ashamed.' 'My art teacher, Bert, says all this Football lark is bread and circuses for the...
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Funny story:  CSI:Miami - Channel Bosses Applaud Improvements

CSI:Miami - Channel Bosses Applaud Improvements

Bosses at Channel 5 have been encouraged by rising viewing figures for US cop "procedural" CSI:Miami. As we reported last month (August 18) there was panic at the station as the show slumped in the ratings. Season eight had been subject to several...
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Funny story:  Seventy-Year-Old Swiss Slappers Out in Force as Wayne Rooney Hits Town

Seventy-Year-Old Swiss Slappers Out in Force as Wayne Rooney Hits Town

Rooney Well Known for his Love of Antiques, Claims Spokesfloozy. The town of Basel in Switzerland was on high alert last night as rumours swept the town that Wayne Rooney had been dumped by wife Colleen because of his playing away. Instant brothel...
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Funny story:  Jennifer Thompson's 13 Premier League Star team to play in a 6-3-4 England formation internationally!

Jennifer Thompson's 13 Premier League Star team to play in a 6-3-4 England formation internationally!

Jennifer Thompson's bedroom, Bolton: Jennifer Thompson who deliberately targeted footballers because they're so rich, flash and fundamentally not the sharpest pencils in the box, is ready to announce her team for England. Miss Thompson, who adver...
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Funny story:  Shagging and whoring stats to be included in footballer Trump cards

Shagging and whoring stats to be included in footballer Trump cards

Oh the times, they are a changing, as an old man once said when he was a bit younger, and it's true, they are a changing. In the world of the popular kids card game, Trumps and football, otherwise known as "soccer", to people who can't spell words...
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Funny story:  Juicy Jenny Drummed Out Of Union

Juicy Jenny Drummed Out Of Union

Jenny Thompson - the hooker at the centre of the Wayne Rooney scandal - is to be drummed out of the prostitutes' trade union for indiscretion. "Juicy" first alleged she had bedded Rooney, before announcing that she had been with 13 other Premier L...
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Funny story:  Wayne Rooney Hooker Jenny Thompson Heads For South America

Wayne Rooney Hooker Jenny Thompson Heads For South America

"Juicy" Jenny Thompson is heading to South America to raise her strike rate. As we reported yesterday, Juicy - the vice girl at the centre of the Wayne Rooney scandal - planned to bed all Europe's top footballers. Now, however, in a change of p...
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Funny story:  History Review: Illingworth's War in Cartoons, by Mark Bryant.

History Review: Illingworth's War in Cartoons, by Mark Bryant.

Sub-titled One Hundred of his Greatest Drawings from the Daily Mail, 1939-1945 this is an attempt to raise Illingworth's profile to something approaching that enjoyed by his contemporaries David Low and Sydney Strube. Ken Lucid writes: This is great! Another effort by Mark Bryant. Recent books about Low and Strube were by his arch-enemy, Timothy S Benson and in fact Benson did one on Illingw...
View 'History Review: Illingworth's War in Cartoons, by Mark Bryant.'
Funny story:  World's Smallest Man to Appear on Dancing with the Stars

World's Smallest Man to Appear on Dancing with the Stars

Khagendra Thapa Magar is soon to be named the smallest man in the world, measuring in at only 22 inches. He was in New York recently to meet with World Record executives about his impending title. ABC executives caught wind of Magar's presence and of...
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Funny story:  F--k Banks.*

F--k Banks.*

Summer, 1972: I'm driving up Mascher Street toward Roosevelt Boulevard with my grandmother. Nana did all the driving, of course, but the five-year-old farting into the passenger seat of 1966 Chevelle station wagon had one very important job, Reading the time and temperature on the marquee sign in front of the Central Penn National Bank. "It's eleventy-free firty, Nana," I'd shout. (I was a l...
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Funny story:  What Google's Bouncy-ball Logo Means: "Get a Girlfriend!"

What Google's Bouncy-ball Logo Means: "Get a Girlfriend!"

Doctors say that if you are wondering what's up with today's Google homepage, fear not: The answer exists in the Big G. Made of blue balls. Get it? "It is code for 'Welcome to the nerd club, virgins! We brought bagels'." So far, Google hasn...
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Funny story:  Dancing With The Star's Mark Ballas Says He Will Help Bristol Palin Get Over Levi Johnston

Dancing With The Star's Mark Ballas Says He Will Help Bristol Palin Get Over Levi Johnston

HOLLYWOOD - Mark Ballas, one of the professional dancers on Dancing With The Stars has been paired with Sarah "Snowflake" Palin's daughter Bristol. "Little Snowflake" as her friends call Bristol says that she is absolutely excited to be able to ge...
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Funny story:  The Jennifer Thompson Action Figure Doll Has Been Banned In Italy, Iraq, and Iowa

The Jennifer Thompson Action Figure Doll Has Been Banned In Italy, Iraq, and Iowa

LONDON - The Hasbroken Toy Company has reported that world wide sales of its brand new Jennifer Thompson Action Figure Doll are going through the roof. Hasbroken spokesperson Lionel Drawbridge stated that the doll is really selling like hot cakes...
View 'The Jennifer Thompson Action Figure Doll Has Been Banned In Italy, Iraq, and Iowa'
Funny story:  The New Fidelity Test: Smell His...

The New Fidelity Test: Smell His...

For ages, women have sought a way to quantify their partners' fidelity, with little success. Researchers at the Kinsey Institute now state that the definitive answer has been under out noses the whole time. Literally. They suggest smelling your p...
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Funny story:  Wayne Rooney Scores In Switzerland

Wayne Rooney Scores In Switzerland

England striker Wayne Rooney rewarded Fabio Capello's decision to play him in the team's Euro 2012 qualifier in Basle last night despite allegations surrounding his private life, by scoring an early goal to set the Three Lions on their way to a 3-1 v...
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Funny story:  Neil Young Learns New Chord

Neil Young Learns New Chord

(Los Angeles)- Rock legend Neil Young has reportedly learned to play B-flat on the guitar, bringing his total of known chords to six. "It's the first new chord he's learned since 1979," says Young's agent Bob Merlis. "I remember because that's al...
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Funny story:  Algorithm Predicts Bowel Movements

Algorithm Predicts Bowel Movements

Coming soon to an app store near you...the excretion application. Math students at an unknown small university have successfully tested their latest achievement. Curious customers simply enter in exactly what they eat and when they ate it, punch...
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