Funny story:  11 Computers Stolen From Local H&R Block; Police Estimate Value at $12.50.

11 Computers Stolen From Local H&R Block; Police Estimate Value at $12.50.

A local man and woman has been arrested and several stolen items seized following the burglary of an H&R Block on Broad Street, here. Police estimate the value of the stolen computers at less than $13.00. "There were two Altairs stolen," sa...
View '11 Computers Stolen From Local H&R Block; Police Estimate Value at $12.50.'
Funny story:  'Global Warming' Out, 'Total Environment Annihilation' In...

'Global Warming' Out, 'Total Environment Annihilation' In...

From the administration that brought you "military intelligence", "government help" and "overseas contingency operation", another terminology change is in the works. The White House wants the public to start using the term "Total Environment Anni...
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Funny story:  Pope Likens Ricky Gervais To Adolf Hilter

Pope Likens Ricky Gervais To Adolf Hilter

Not since Lady GaGa has a cult leader so brazenly courted publicity. After having to issue multiple apologies for his role in covering up sexual abuse in the Church, claiming that condoms worsen the AIDS crisis and decrying gay rights as 'insidiou...
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Funny story:  The Pope, Hitler and an athiest walk in to a bar...

The Pope, Hitler and an athiest walk in to a bar...

Pope Benny Exvee-Eye today stunned the hushed masses, who had gathered to watch his first UK speech, when he confused being an athiest with being French. Sitting on his thrown, little white hat perched on his head like a soggy marshmallow stuck to...
View 'The Pope, Hitler and an athiest walk in to a bar...'
Funny story:  Happy Motoring

Happy Motoring

Whenever I'm in Trinketsville, Missouri, my first stop is always SmashItUp car rentals, "for the best deals on wheels." Hint--when you go there, don't be served by the minimum wage flunkies at the front desk, quaffing Folger's and sucking Marlboros while half assedly typing your rental contract. Ask for the manager--Willie Wheelie. An amicable chap, Wheelie became overly friendly with a busty b...
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Funny story:  Brits are a vicious lot so why am I ROFL?

Brits are a vicious lot so why am I ROFL?

The ex Wham, Careless Whisper, Last Christmas singer, George Michael has landed himself a short spell in the care of Her Majesty's Prison Service. Maybe he deserved it but would he not have been better off in rehab, paid for by himself thus saving th...
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Funny story:  UPDATE: Lady Gaga "I've Got Even More Meat Under This Dress!"

UPDATE: Lady Gaga "I've Got Even More Meat Under This Dress!"

After making a statement with her meat dress at the MTV Video Music Awards, Lady GaGa is being pelted by animal rights dweebs for her performance. Animal rights dorks issued a statement saying "no matter how beautifully it is presented, flesh from...
View 'UPDATE: Lady Gaga "I've Got Even More Meat Under This Dress!"'
Funny story:  The only honest Supreme Court judge in India insists "It's all a mistake. I AM corrupt."

The only honest Supreme Court judge in India insists "It's all a mistake. I AM corrupt."

The legal community in India was sent reeling after allegations that one of its Supreme Court judges is honest and has refused to take bribes. Mr. Justice Singh of Delhi was outted by an undercover reporter from the Indian News of the World, who o...
View 'The only honest Supreme Court judge in India insists "It's all a mistake. I AM corrupt."'
Funny story:  George Michael Sentenced To Eight Weeks In Women's Prison

George Michael Sentenced To Eight Weeks In Women's Prison

George Michael has been sentenced to eight weeks in a women's prison and lost his license for five years, Tuesday for driving under the influence of drugs when he crashed his car into a London photo shop. That's two non-moving buildings within the...
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Funny story:  US teen says her suspension from school for sporting nose-ring violates her First Amendment right to exercise her religion; Church of American Nudists rallies to her rescue

US teen says her suspension from school for sporting nose-ring violates her First Amendment right to exercise her religion; Church of American Nudists rallies to her rescue

RALEIGH, NORTH CAROLINA: This 'Christian' community is being rocked with an unexpected Civil Rights issue. A 14-year-old schoolgirl's nose piercing has resulted in her being suspended from school and forcing her into a fight over her First Amendment...
View 'US teen says her suspension from school for sporting nose-ring violates her First Amendment right to exercise her religion; Church of American Nudists rallies to her rescue'
Funny story:  Pope Pelted by Protesters for Wearing Pork Pie Hat

Pope Pelted by Protesters for Wearing Pork Pie Hat

LONDON, England - Animal rights protesters were outside Lock & Co. Hatters in London Tuesday in force with plans to pelt anyone with fake pigs' blood who exiting the store wearing a pork pie hat. The Pope, visiting London, was not aware of the pr...
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Funny story:  Heisman Trophy Re-Cast to Reflect Athletes Demand for Bling

Heisman Trophy Re-Cast to Reflect Athletes Demand for Bling

Following three consecutive years of pressure from its most recent winners, the long standing and original design of the Heisman Trophy will be recast for 2011, showing a fistful of dollars in the player's extended arm, and some gold bling around his...
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Funny story:  Satan appears on a bathroom tile proving he's just a dirty old "Peeping Tom"!

Satan appears on a bathroom tile proving he's just a dirty old "Peeping Tom"!

The Devil has appeared on a bathroom tile in Budapest, Hungary and refuses to be removed. After spending a fortune on renovating his bathroom Mr.Crsefko let his wife shower first, but the bathroom turned cold and creepy and as she stepped naked ou...
View 'Satan appears on a bathroom tile proving he's just a dirty old "Peeping Tom"!'
Funny story:  Pope Mobile mistaken for ice cream van - thousands queue up for cornettos but get stern Latin sermons instead

Pope Mobile mistaken for ice cream van - thousands queue up for cornettos but get stern Latin sermons instead

Crowds of disappointed ice cream fans were turned away by police in Edinburgh today after mistaking the Pope Mobile for an ice cream van and the Pope for an aproned Italian ice cream vendor. One man said "I queued up for hours in the sun, hoping t...
View 'Pope Mobile mistaken for ice cream van - thousands queue up for cornettos but get stern Latin sermons instead'
Funny story:  English A-Levels Boring

English A-Levels Boring

Today, findings have been released by the Association Of A-Level Students (Having Fun) [ALSHF], proving that English A-Levels are, indeed, boring. The findings have been fought in legal proceedings for fifteen years, the British Government believi...
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Funny story:  Miracles in the Wake of the Pope's Visit

Miracles in the Wake of the Pope's Visit

All doubts about the supernatural powers of the Pope have been dispelled by a series of extraordinary events that have coincided with his visit to Scotland. The Pope kissed a baby which then sprouted angelic wings and flew into his arms. 'A bit yo...
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Funny story:  Wisconsin Candidate: "I Am the White Man's Bitch"

Wisconsin Candidate: "I Am the White Man's Bitch"

MADISON, WI - Ieshuh Griffin is running for State Assembly in Wisconsin, and she wants voters to know she "IS the white man's bitch". In fact, she wanted that statement posted under her name on the ballot for state representative, in the place whe...
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Funny story:  Times Square Bomber Released in Plea Deal! Turned in Names of Six Smokers

Times Square Bomber Released in Plea Deal! Turned in Names of Six Smokers

New York, NY (BNSE): Department of Homeland Security officials admitted today at an early morning press conference that Faisal Shahzad, 30, the alleged "Times Square Bomber," was released on bond at the behest of New York City leaders as part of a p...
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Funny story:  Abbey Clancy And Peter Crouch Having A Baby - "I Don't Believe It!" Says Victor Mildew

Abbey Clancy And Peter Crouch Having A Baby - "I Don't Believe It!" Says Victor Mildew

There was one person who didn't greet the news that WAG extraordinaire, Abbey Clancy, and vertically unchallenged whoremongering Tottenham and England striker, Peter Crouch are to have a baby, with the traditional 'Aaaah! Bless!' Victor Mildew, of...
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Funny story:  Miley Cyrus nips out to the deli, looking for a Gaga meatkini

Miley Cyrus nips out to the deli, looking for a Gaga meatkini

Miley Cyrus proves she is definitely not a shy wall flower as she pops out at the deli wearing a see through vest, allegedly looking for some dead animal flesh fabrications to turn into a party frock for Saturday night. The 17-year-old singer, who...
View 'Miley Cyrus nips out to the deli, looking for a Gaga meatkini'
Funny story:  Local Man Left Hopping Mad After Bizarre Accident

Local Man Left Hopping Mad After Bizarre Accident

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was this morning left literally hopping mad following a bizarre domestic accident, involving a heavy cast iron Le Creuset casserole dish. Shuttlecock explained that he had gone to the dresser in the kitchen to get som...
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Funny story:  Our Lady And The Tramp

Our Lady And The Tramp

London - (Papal Bulls**t News): He was dubbed 'God's Rottweiler' in 2003 by Special Branch during a Stop the Whore Coalition campaign excoriating Poodle Brothers George W Bush and Tony Blair. Today dyslectic sisters at London's Convent of the Imm...
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Funny story:  Pope Benedict Requests Visit To Govan Bar

Pope Benedict Requests Visit To Govan Bar

Insiders today related that Pope Benedict XVI requested to be taken to the Govan bar where popular comedy show Rab C Nesbitt is filmed. To the horror of his minders. Despite the Pope's repeated requests that he fancied a wee dram in one of Glas...
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Funny story:  Gerry's Goal Gorgers In Search of New Gaffer

Gerry's Goal Gorgers In Search of New Gaffer

It has been widely reported in the press today that Gerry's Goal Gorgers who have shocked everyone with their start of the championship are in search of a new manager. The circumstances are not entirely clear but reports suggest that Gerry is gam...
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Funny story:  Careless Biffter .. George Michaels Jailed For 8 Weeks

Careless Biffter .. George Michaels Jailed For 8 Weeks

Former heart throb, George Michaels, awoke today to spend the next eight weeks in an entirely 'different corner' ... An 8 foot by 6 foot cell. The singer, who's real name is Frank Jones, was sentenced following revelations he had crashed his Austi...
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Funny story:  Inmates Demand £10k a Week From George Michael as 'Protection Money'

Inmates Demand £10k a Week From George Michael as 'Protection Money'

Homosexual pop star George Michael has already run into trouble just a day into his porridge at Pentonville Prison with prison heavies demanding £10,000 a week in protection money to protect him in the showers. Apparantly, George Michael has been...
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Funny story:  SHOCK: 24 Million Democrats Found Dead!

SHOCK: 24 Million Democrats Found Dead!

WASHINGTON, DC - Regardless of how lively the midterm elections might be, a new study shows that more than 23.7 million Democrat voters on current voter registration rolls across the country are dead. In total, that means about 28.9 percent of a...
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Funny story:  Pope to meet the Queen and try and convert her

Pope to meet the Queen and try and convert her

A secret dossier has been leaked onto WikiLeaks about the Pope's real plans for his visit to the UK. As part of his visit he will visit Queen Elizabeth, who is head of the Church of England, a sect of Christianity that broke away during Henry VIII's...
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Funny story:  Pope Benedict's Holy See, blind to alter boy bothering, sits uneasy next to papal infallibility.

Pope Benedict's Holy See, blind to alter boy bothering, sits uneasy next to papal infallibility.

The pope can do no wrong! That is basically what 'papal infallibility' means in the Roman Catholic religion. The Pope is preserved from the possibility of error by his connection with God. This hasn't been a problem up until recently, as priests...
View 'Pope Benedict's Holy See, blind to alter boy bothering, sits uneasy next to papal infallibility.'
Funny story:  Arms Race Between Adverts and Content

Arms Race Between Adverts and Content

The internet is traditionally a free and easy place, with petabytes of information freely available. Such as this article. However, with there being no such thing as a free lunch all this 'free' content has to be paid for somehow, and there is an inc...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Zoo cut off

Isle of Wight News - Zoo cut off

The Isle of Wight Zoo at Yaverland has been cut off from the outside work by two sets of road works. The on-going roadworks on Yaverland Road, the B3396, have over-run with a scheduled completion date now set for early December, whilst sewer impro...
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Funny story:  No nuptial nookie as Queen and Pope celebrate 60th - blood diamond! - wedding anniversary

No nuptial nookie as Queen and Pope celebrate 60th - blood diamond! - wedding anniversary

Scotland - (Prenup Mess): With a grim-faced Duke of Edinburgh looking daggers there is clearly zero chance of any Wayne Rooney-style threesome shenanigans this weekend. "Besides," papal wet nurse Msgr Gangswine explained, "the Pope is pooped. Mile...
View 'No nuptial nookie as Queen and Pope celebrate 60th - blood diamond! - wedding anniversary'
Funny story:  Sarkozy loves gypsies: (It's a fact!)

Sarkozy loves gypsies: (It's a fact!)

President Nicolas Sarkozy, hurt at being compared to France's collaborationist World War Two leaders because of his policy of expelling Roms (gypsies) from French territory, threw a giant open-air party for France's gypsies on Wednesday night. The...
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Funny story:  Obama: "Don't Ask Don't Tell" To Be Replaced With "Don't Care, Thanks for Risking Your Life to Defend Our Country, Now Go Kill!"

Obama: "Don't Ask Don't Tell" To Be Replaced With "Don't Care, Thanks for Risking Your Life to Defend Our Country, Now Go Kill!"

President Obama has announced that the abso-f--king-lutely ludicrous "Don't Ask Don't Tell" provision of 10 U.S.C. § 654 et. seq. will be replaced, effective immediately. "What the f--k does anyone care if you love the c-ck, as long as you love your country as well," Obama explained, likening the mealy-mouthed, pussified language of 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' to 'Separate But Equal', as a half-asse...
View 'Obama: "Don't Ask Don't Tell" To Be Replaced With "Don't Care, Thanks for Risking Your Life to Defend Our Country, Now Go Kill!"'
Funny story:  Father Ted:  "When you land at Heathrow you think you are in a Third World land."

Father Ted: "When you land at Heathrow you think you are in a Third World land."

Craggy Island parish, west coast of Ireland: Very little happens in Craggy Island Parish to be reported, but in this news article news followers need to know what impact the Popes visit is having on some of the far flung outposts of Britain's former colonies and Empire. Father Ted has been reading the latest news in the local Parish News to Father Dougal about the Pope's visit to Britain. Fa...
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Funny story:  Kate Gosselin SINGS! New Gosselin Album Hits the Bargain Bins!

Kate Gosselin SINGS! New Gosselin Album Hits the Bargain Bins!

First Paris Hilton. Then Heidi Montag. Now Kate Gosselin is the latest Reality TV star to produce a record album. Her new CD, titled "Mate With Kate" is designed to bring romance into the lives of couples who desire to start a family. "The music i...
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Funny story:  Pope hasn't passed CRB check, Hyde Park mass cancelled.

Pope hasn't passed CRB check, Hyde Park mass cancelled.

The head of the Roman Catholic Church's visit to England has been mired by disappointment and upset for many but the latest blow was struck by officialdom and red tape. In the United Kingdom, anyone wishing to work with children in an official cap...
View 'Pope hasn't passed CRB check, Hyde Park mass cancelled.'
Funny story:  New York Jets Coach Says That Ines Sainz Should Dress More Like The Average Drab Looking, Frumpy Female Reporter Instead of Like A Victoria's Secret Model

New York Jets Coach Says That Ines Sainz Should Dress More Like The Average Drab Looking, Frumpy Female Reporter Instead of Like A Victoria's Secret Model

NEW YORK CITY - The New York Jets fumble crew coach, Timmy "The Hands" Blumentelli, said that Ines Sainz, a reporter for Mexico's TV Azteca Network should not have been dressed like one of the Victoria's Secret models. He pointed out that when Sai...
View 'New York Jets Coach Says That Ines Sainz Should Dress More Like The Average Drab Looking, Frumpy Female Reporter Instead of Like A Victoria's Secret Model'
Funny story:  America's Got Talent: Michael Grimm Defeats Prince Poppycock and Jackie Evancho To Win The $1 Million First Prize

America's Got Talent: Michael Grimm Defeats Prince Poppycock and Jackie Evancho To Win The $1 Million First Prize

HOLLYWOOD - Michael Grimm, a resident of Mississippi, has won this year's edition of America's Got Talent defeating Jackie Evancho, Prince Poppycock, and Fighting Gravity. Grimm, whose grandparents lost everything in Hurricane Katrina said that he...
View 'America's Got Talent: Michael Grimm Defeats Prince Poppycock and Jackie Evancho To Win The $1 Million First Prize'
Funny story:  Stephen Colbert Audience Turns Ugly After Realizing He's Not Republican

Stephen Colbert Audience Turns Ugly After Realizing He's Not Republican

Things took a turn for the worse Wednesday night as the entire studio audience of the Colbert Report began throwing eggs and rotten tomatoes at Stephen Colbert and his guest, Arianna Huffington. One lone fan who later told us that he gets it that Col...
View 'Stephen Colbert Audience Turns Ugly After Realizing He's Not Republican'
Funny story:  Michael Grimm is Anything But After Winning America's Got Talent

Michael Grimm is Anything But After Winning America's Got Talent

HOLLYWOOD, California - No one was really surprised except for maybe Michael Grimm himself at the end result of America's Got Talent. Grimm, the quiet, unassuming soulful singer from Mississippi came out the victor in what was obviously a very tight...
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Funny story:  Bieber Fever Vaccine Shortage As Flu Season Nears

Bieber Fever Vaccine Shortage As Flu Season Nears

As the weather turns cooler and the leaves begin to change, the Center for Disease Control is getting progressively more concerned about the Bieber Fever. "What we're seeing is potential pandemic situation just as the flu season is approaching," s...
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Funny story:  FIFA To Introduce Orange Card After Wenger Advice

FIFA To Introduce Orange Card After Wenger Advice

World football's governing body, FIFA, have announced they have acted upon advice given to them by Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger with regard to the current yellow card/red card system used by referees, and have decided to introduce a new-coloured car...
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Funny story:  Liberal Home Expo Show Opens in San Francisco

Liberal Home Expo Show Opens in San Francisco

San Francisco CA: House Speaker Pelosi cut the ceremonial red ribbon (made from recycled duct tape) at the Mission Bay Convention Center, officially opening this Democratic liberal far left sponsored home show. Home design, home furnishings and trans...
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Funny story:  President Obama To Tap Consumer Counsel

President Obama To Tap Consumer Counsel

WASHINGTON, DC - President Barack Obama this week will tap Harvard Law professor Elizabeth Warren. When the First Lady heard about it, she went through the White House roof. White House officials haven't formally ruled out the possibility of tappi...
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