The Spoof : May 2010 spoof news stories

US teenagers too 'fat to fight'

Two retired generals, John Shalikashvili and Hugh Shelton, have said that overweight American teenagers are the greatest threat to the nation's future security. "Some of our kids are so fat their only military use would be as something to roll dow...

Jon Gosselin's New Girlfriend Ellen Ross Proclaims - "It's Not The Penis Size That Counts, It's The Penis Size"

READING, Pennsylvania - Well, well, well. It appears that Jon "Little Jon" Gosselin has found himself a brand new girlfriend. She is 23-year-old Harrisburg native Ellen Ross. Ross says that she likes Jon because he looks just like an oriental Brad...

Victoria's Secret Model Replaces Megan Fox In "Transformers 3"

Since Meagan Fox was last heard calling producer Michael Bay "Hitler", it was assumed that a new actress would appear in "Transformers 3" but no one expected it to be someone who has never acted before in her life. Well, not in a movie. Rosie H...

An Audience With Michael Buble Singing Like A Dalek

Viewers who tuned in to ITV's An Audience With Michael Buble were astounded tonight when the Canadian crooner opened his mouth and emitted sounds normally associated with a synthesiser. His usual dulcet tones were transformed into an electronic buzz...

Michael Jackson Still Alive, Pretending To Be Dave Cameron

Michael Jackson is sensationally still alive. We can reveal that he is pretending to be his old friend 'Dave' Cameron. Observers have noted Cameron's rather high pitched vocal delivery and the fact that he is being followed around by a monkey called...

Selena Gomez and Nick Jonas Spotted At A Nude Beach In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Selena Gomez and her BFF Nick Jonas were recently seen walking along the shoreline of one of Mexico's most famous nude beaches, La Playa de Los Players. And although most of the 300 people that were on the beach were compl...

The 2010 Girls Aloud Nude Calendar Has Just Become Great Britain's Biggest Selling Calendar of All Time

LONDON - The Bloomin' British Babes Calendar Company which is based in Bristol has just reported that its 2010 Girls Aloud Nude Calendar has just surpassed sales of the previous number one calendar which was Cheryl Cole's 2010 nude calendar named Che...

Russell Crowe as Robin Hood is payback for Mick Jagger as Ned Kelly

Australian actor Russell Crowe admitted today that he was persuaded to take the role of iconic English character Robin Hood after being shown the 1970 film 'Ned Kelly' starring Mick Jagger as the legendary Australian. Although Crowe was born in Ne...

The Real Reason Joe Jonas Dumped Demi Lovato

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - There has been a lot of speculation as to why Joe Jonas dumped Demi Lovato. Some say that it was because she sings better than him. Others say it's because she is prettier than him. And still others say that it is because she has ma...

Selena Gomez Caught Flirting With Liam Hemsworth At A Tacos "R" Us

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Selena Gomez who recently revealed that she had a crush on Liam Hemsworth, one of the stars of The Last Song, was caught flirting with the Australian star at a Tacos "R" Us in West Hollywood. Hemsworth who has been linked with Las...

The Ku Klux Klan Has Said They Are Moving Their Home Office To Arizona

TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - The Grand Exalted Dragon Wizard of The Grand Imperial Order of The Knights of The Off-White Bougainvillea, Rayford "Whitey" Giddykoontz has just announced that the Ku Klux Klan is moving their headquarters from Tuscaloosa, Alaba...

Taylor Swift arrested for "Over exposure" says Nashville coppers

NASHVILLE TN (ABSNN) - Country music songbird, Taylor Swift, 19, was arrested by members of the Country Music Hall of Shame this afternoon, taken in by the Nashville cops, for the crime of "Over exposure," sources say. Often called the hardest wor...

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Argue In A Pedicure Salon

SOHO - The world's lovebirds have sort of turned into a couple of raving ravens. Rob and Kristen stopped in to each get a pedicure at The Yo Yo Girlfriend You Want We Make Your Pretty Feets To Look Dainty Like Girl Feet Should Be Salon. As Kriste...

Woody Allen Leaves Wife, Marries Step-Daughter--Again

New York, NY-- History is repeating itself on the Upper West Side of Manhattan today. Woody Allen just divorced his wife Sue Suk to marry their only child, Suk Sue. The newlyweds are off to The Bermuda Triangle for their honeymoon. It was exactl...

Vera Baker: "I Know Exactly Where Barack Obama's Birth Certificate Is"

SAN FRANCISCO - Vera Baker's hair stylist, Gigi Van Pansy (a male), has stated that the former senatorial campaign financial manager for Barack Obama confessed to him that she knows exactly where the president's much sought after birth certificate is...

The New Miley Cyrus Video "Can't Be Tamed" Banned in Utah, Massachusetts, and Portugal

LOS ANGELES - The brand new highly erotic Miley Cyrus video "Can't Be Tamed" has been prohibited from being shown in Utah, Massachusetts, and Portugal. The two American states and European country have all passed proclamations prohibiting the vide...

Man Bitten in Dog Park, By Another Man!

Westchester, New York . . . When police were called to the local dog park to deal with a bite, they assumed that a dog had done the biting. No way! Man's best friends were totally innocent. Believe it or not, it was a man who had bitten another ma...

iPad Gets More Attention at the Louvre than Mona Lisa

The global launch of the Apple iPad on Friday was a major event. In Paris, early crowds to buy the iPad at the Carrousel du Louvre shopping center in the museum complex outnumbered the people waiting in line to see Leonardo da Vinci's famous paintin...

Taylor Swift Is So Into Cory Monteith She Wrote A Song About Him - "Cory Cory The Kissing Guy From Glee"

WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania - Taylor Swift has always written songs about guys who have passed through her life. She wrote "Joey Joey You're My Favorite Toy Toy" about Joseph of the Jonas Brothers. And she wrote "Hey, What A Coincidence My Name's Tay...

Friend Defends Rekers: "It Makes Sense to Hire a Gay Hooker to Carry Your Luggage"

George Rekers was accompanied on a 10-day trip to Europe by a gay male prostitute. Rekers, a Baptist minister and board member of the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality, has denied having a sexual relationship with the...

Miley Cyrus Defends Her Grinding Lap Dance By Saying, "Hey People, I Had Shorts On"

LOS ANGELES - Miley Cyrus was having a pedicure at The Rice Paddy of Vietnam Pedicure Palace when she was asked about the incident at the 'wrap party' for her movie The Last Song. Miley asked if the reference was to the film's makeup artist Bubble...

Carmella Bing to act as Tomb Raider

The very "healthy" and agile porn star, Carmella Bing is all set to portray the image of the ever adventurous, and sexy Lara Croft. The news comes in after our very own AJ felt too old for the role. Considering she (AJ) has been travelling al...

Justin Bieber Says He Has A Crush On Kelly Clarkson - "I Like Older Women With Meat On Their Bones"

LOS ANGELES - Teen singing sensation Justin Bieber was in Los Angeles appearing on several local morning shows when he was asked if he had seen the American Idol finale show. He answered that he had. He was asked who he had picked to win. He said...

Mirren, Deneuve, Loren on Most Beautiful List, Cosmetics Industry Notices

When Wizard Jeans recently produced its annual list (prepared by fashion expert Sally Allen) of the 10 Most Beautiful Women in the World, there wasn't a twenty-something woman on it. And young wannabes were startled to see that Helen Mirren, 64, Cat...

Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato Say That The Louisiana Tar Balls Will End Up In Massachusetts

BOSTON - Two teenage singing sensations Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato were in Boston attending a Brenda Song concert. After the concert the two went to Brenda's dressing room where they helped her celebrate another sold-out concert. The three gi...

President Obama Replies To Charges of Infidelity With Vera Baker By Saying, "Say What Fa Shizzle My Nizzle?"

BEAVER, Oklahoma - President Barack Obama had just delivered his speech to The Oklahoma Sooner or Later League of Farm Dwellers when he was asked a somewhat embarrassing question. The president responded to a question about the alleged rumor curre...

Cheryl Cole Says She Loves Derek Hough Cause The Lad Tickles Her Fancy

LONDON - A lot of Cheryl Cole's closest friends say that they have not seen Chezza happier than she's been the last few days. And they all attribute it to her American boyfriend Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough. Hough flew into Heathrow Airport from...

Man with world's biggest arsehole shits penguin sized turd

A man from the Netherlands was relieved today after battling for 48 hours to crap out a turd the size of an adult King Penguin. Hans Van Flloyd Hasslebank is renowned throughout Holland for having a back passage big enough to take a Eurostar trai...

Foreskinheads angered over public Lesbian nude ballet

HARDIN KY (ABSNN) -- Bill Pilant, Grand Wizard Deluxe of the Hardin White Supremist Foreskinheads, LLC, led a group of sixty like-minded dickheads in a march to protest public Lesbian nude ballet which they termed "just a bunch of really ugly, fat ch...

Times Square Crowds Treated to Kindle-toting Preacher

Yep, there he was -- with a long beard and a flowing, white robe -- standing on a makeshift platform, shouting to the crowd a litany of Biblical verses about hell, damnation, and repentance. But he wasn't reading from a printed Bible yesterday. No...

Middlesbrough man competes to enter Book of World Records for stinkiest feet

'Spud' Wilkinson, of Thorntree, Middlesbrough, is hoping to be in the Book of World Records soon as 'the man with the World's Stinkiest Feet. Spud's wife 'Daisy' wrote to the Panel of Judges regarding Spud's smelly appendages in the hope's that he...

Miley Cyrus Nearly Ruins Her Dad's Career & Her Own

After all the fallout recently of Miley Cyrus dancing like a stripper on a TV special and the recent video release of her rubbing her butt into a 45-year-old male's crotch when she was 16, her dad Billy Ray stated this morning that she did much worse...

Selena Gomez and Nick Jonas To Travel To Iceland By Ship For The Get Iceland Back on Her Frozen Feet Again Telethon

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Selena Gomez and Nick Jonas are getting ready to travel to Iceland to participate in a "Get Iceland Back On Her Frozen Feet Telethon." Gomez and Jonas will be traveling to Iceland aboard the Mexican battleship the MS Montezuma's...

Dead Player Signed By Liverpool

A dead footballer has been signed by Liverpool FC. Croatian soccer star Goran Tunjic has been signed to replace Jose Torres, who is on his way to Chelsea. Tunjic was recently booked for dying on the pitch. This follows a new FIFA ruling regarding...

Robert Pattinson marries Kristen Stewart on Isle of Naboombu

In news that is likely to shock the world and destroy the sweet-young-dreams of many a schoolgirl, chunk of hunk Robert Pattinson and Twilight co-star Kristen Stewart, were today secretly married. The ceremony was completed on the magical Isle of Nab...

Jesse James Says He Cheated On Sandra Bullock Because of Twinkies

LONG BEACH, California - Jesse "Dipstick" James says that he still thinks that his wife Sandra Bullock will find it in her heart of hearts to take him back. [CUE THE LAUGH MACHINE] James speaking while sitting on one of his 17 motorcycles in hi...

Naked Greed! Fergie Exposed Shagging for Money to Pay Mounting Bills!

The Duchess of York, once shown topless with a lover sucking her toes, went "all the way' this time with with her latest 'Naked Video' showing off her insatiable greed as she allegedly offered to sell access to the Royal Family, and primarily to he...

New Jersey to Host 2014 Super Bowl, Soprano Stars Rejoice

"I made them an offer they couldn't refuse," boasted Tony Soprano, when it was announced by the National Football League on Tuesday that the 2014 Super Bowl would indeed be held at the New Meadowlands Stadium in NJ. Fortunately, folks who will...

Kindles Overworked, May Go Out on Strike

Kindles, Amazon's electronic readers, are not happy campers. They are disgusted that Amazon has announced a new software update for the Kindle, providing many more services. "Lots more work for the exact same pay," Head Kindle Hedda complained...

Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber Go Out For A Bite

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Two of the most popular teens in America were spotted having dinner together at Shanghai Sally's Sushi Diner in West Hollywood. Miley was wearing a cheerleaders outfit and Justin walked in with a hula hoop around his waist. When a...

The Elisabeth Hasselbeck - Erin Andrews Feud Turns Ugly!

HOLLYWOOD - Barbara Walters of The View did her best to try and diffuse the big verbal feud between fellow View host Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Dancing With The Stars castoff, Erin Andrews. Hasselbeck, the somewhat prettier version of GOPrincess Ann...

Lee DeWyze Crowned The 2010 American Idol Winner!

HOLLYWOOD - The Nokia Theater was filled to capacity, in fact the people in the balcony were sitting two to a seat, which is legal in California. The American Idol Finale Show ran for 2 hours and 7 minutes. It had 87 commercials, three tons of con...

Spencer Pratt Dumps Heidi Montag - Says The Smell of Plastic Just Got To Damn Strong

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Spencer Pratt has confessed that he could no longer stand to be in the same room with his wife Heidi Montag, alias "The Plastic Woman." Pratt, 26, revealed that the smell of plastic just got to strong for him to take. He explaine...

Rodent Attends Obama's Press Conference in the Rose Garden

President Obama's address on financial reform was a major White House media event on Thursday. In addition to the usual attendees, there was one extra guest. Wearing eyeglasses and toting a tiny briefcase in its mouth, a rodent occupied a place of i...

Dancing With The Stars' Derek Hough Flies To Great Britain and Puts The (Dance) Moves on Cheryl Cole

LONDON - Derek Hough and Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger captured the Dancing With The Stars coveted Mirror Ball Trophy and within 48 hours "Dancing Derek" flew to London to capture Chezza Cole's heart (again). The two lovebirds had nested in Los...

Aussie Football with No Gay Rules - Jason Akermanis tells Players to stay in the Closet

Outspoken Aussie Football League, (AFL), player Jason Akermanis seems to be homophobic - urging gay players to stay in the closet because the game isn't ready for "them". The Aussie Rules star says it would be unsafe and it could make other player...

Selena Gomez Says She Wants To Give Liam Hemsworth A Lap Dance

FLAGSTAFF, Arizona - Selena Gomez flew to Arizona to visit the Grand Canyon before President Obama totally shuts down the state with his upcoming mandated state-wide ban. Selena was asked what she thinks about Arizona's Immigration Bill. She rolle...

The Chinese Claim They Found Noah's Ark

Many are in doubt of the accuracy of the Lynn intelligence test which claims that Asians are the most intelligent people on this earth when a group of Chinese Christians held a news conference to announce they were 99.9 percent sure they had found No...

Brittany Murphy Dies From Pneumonia Overdose

Brittany Murphy has faded back into pop culture by fatally overdosing on prescription pneumonia. The 32 year old bubbly actress, brought to fame by appearing in such films as The Prophecy II and an episode of Blossom, collapsed in the shower of h...

Transformers 3 Signs Two More Victoria's Secret Models

Apparent producer Michael Bay thinks he's onto a good thing in replacing Megan Fox with a Victoria's Secret model (Rosie Hunting-Whitely) and has apparently signed two more models to appear in Transformers 3. A source stated that Bay had received...

Cameraman Fired over Closeup of Siobhan Magnus' Whoo-Hoo

Los Angeles, CA - Last night's American Idol Finale wasn't without controversy. In fact, not long after the show started, the first of many "live" glitches occurred, and because of it, a cameraman lost his job. If you blinked, you probably mis...

Did Selena Gomez Really Go Dogging With Stan Collymore?

My source, eccentric English film producer/director, Buffty Ginslinger, was telling anyone who cared to listen to him in a Soho watering hole that Disney actress/singer Selena Gomez spent the greater part of last night out dogging with ex-footballer...

Stephen Griffiths arrest: Yorkshire Ripper slams 'amateurish' Bradford murder suspect

HMP Broadmoor - (Slashers): The Yorkshire Ripper today poured scorn on the 'Bradford Ripper' moniker following the arrest of suspected serial killer Stephen Griffiths. Peter Sutcliffe is said to be livid at the dilution of the 'Ripper' brand which...

Kindles Shop for Father's Day for Daddy, Jeff Bezos

Jeff Bezos, Amazon's founder and CEO, is a lucky man. Father of Amazon's Kindle (regarded by many as the world's foremost electronic reader), he'll be getting lots of presents from his "kids" on June 20. A group of Kindles was spotted Saturday in...

Bong-Sucking Newcomer Replaces Talentless Meathole in Transformers 3

Megan Fox's Transformers 3 character, Jennifers Body, will be replaced by pompously named Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, a 23-year-old Brit who gets her aristocratic-sounding name from her great-great-grandfather, Sir Herbert Huntington-Whiteley, 1st Ear...

The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders 2010 Calendar Hits The Stores

DALLAS - A spokesperson for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders has just informed the sports media that the brand new 2010 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Calendar has hit the new stands and book stores. The 12 monthly photos were taken by noted naked cal...

Kara DioGuardi Slips into Depression after Casey James Leaves Idol

Los Angeles, CA - Casey James was finally voted off American Idol, leaving Lee DeWyze and Crystal Bowersox as the two singers going into the final round. Casey, looking incredibly vulnerable and sad, took the mike one last time and sang an encore of...

Michael Jackson's attorney in gunshot suicide mystery

Encino Hills - (Propofool): The Jackson family is devastated: legal minefields of Dr Conrad Murray's manslaughter indictment and some 'excruciatingly complex' probate secrets surrounding the late singer's estate have just turned very complicated.

Ronan Keating leaves his wife to concentrate on his Boyzone

There's the born again Christian tattooed one, the shit Coronation Street actor one, the dead gay one, and the other one. Then there's the Ronan Keating one. Slightly balding, slightly boring and now slightly bending... perhaps? After 12 years of...

Celebrity Apprentice: Trump Fires Curtis Stone, Maria Kanellis, and Sharon "Sniffles" Osbourne

NEW YORK CITY - Apparently the Producers of the reality show Celebrity Apprentice have informed Mr. Donald Trump that he needs to hurry up and get the show's season wrapped up. Instead of firing one celebrity, El Trumpster reared back and fired a...

Dancing With The Star's Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Erin Andrews Are Doing More Than Just Dancing

HOUSTON - The runners-up on Dancing With The Stars, Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Erin Andrews appeared on the Houston morning TV show, Howdy Y'all Hiya Doin'? Maksim was asked by the show's co-host Bonnie Candlebox how it felt to come in second to Nico...

The Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas Relationship Is Really Heating Up

VENICE BEACH, California - Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas were spotted sunbathing at Venice Beach. Demi was wearing a pink bikini swimsuit with the initials J.J. on the back and Joe was wearing boxer shorts with the initials B.V.D. on the back of his.

Girls Aloud split; Cheryl Cole to join Black Eyed Peas

All-girls group Girls Aloud have today announced they have decided to go their separate ways. In what has been described in various media outlets as a "break up", the band members are said to be each branching out to pursue their own various interest...

Graham Dott loses snooker final after falling asleep

Snooker hotshot Graham Dott handed last nights epic World snooker final to Neil Robertson after falling asleep at what experts could only describe as "way past his bedtime". The final took an exciting twist when TV cameras picked up Dott's eyes start...

Stephen Hawking's Basement Raided, Rare Historic Artifacts Found

Acting on an anonymous tip, British police raided well-known physicist, Stephen Hawking's basement, where it is reported that they found some incredible historical artifacts from various periods in history. Included with the artifacts was an urn whic...

The United States Is Sending The Aircraft Carrier USS Condoleezza Rice Towards Korean Waters

DOVER, Delaware - President Obama was speaking before the annual Delaware Punch Distributors Convention when he was asked about the developing military situation between North Korea and South Korea. The president joked and said, "Now lemy get dis...

M.I.A. Ginger Genocide Vid Banned

A music video by M.I.A. which shows some ginger haired people being rounded up by cops, shot, set on fire and forced to walk across a minefield has been banned by top website You Tube for breaching regulations regarding pornographic/violent content.

Kim Kardashian Denies That She Is Dating Justin Bieber

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kim Kardashian has stated that she wants it known that she is not currently, nor has she ever dated Justin Bieber. Kardashian said that the rumor started when the two were at The White House Correspondent's Dinner, and someone sa...

Miley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth Hospital Record Of Near-Death Surfaces

Although it was all the way back to April 7th over a month ago, both Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth apparently had a near-death experience that is just now being reported. As any good reporter will tell you, paying off people in service like a ho...

Zac Efron and Eva Longoria-Parker To Star In The Remake of "The Graduate"

SAN ANTONIO - Eva Longoria-Parker was watching her husband San Antonio Spurs guard Tony Parker playing their elimination game against the Phoenix Suns when she was asked about her next movie project. The petite star of Desperate Housewives, was dr...

Dancing With The Stars: The Gaytalian Judge Bruno Tonioli Gets Excited and Uses The "F" Word!

HOLLYWOOD - The Dancing With The Stars semi-finals show went off without a hitch, except for the sidesaddle riding judge from Italy Bruno "La Eff Word" Tonioli. Yes, Brunito, as he is known in gay bars throughout Sicily, Sardinia, and Staten Islan...

Robert Pattinson Caught Buying Viagra

Four customers at a New York pharmacy say they overheard actor Robert Pattinson ordering 50 Viagra tablets from a prescription, while in line at the Dain's Pharmacy in lower Manhattan Saturday. "Oh, he had a Yankee cap on pulled low over his face...

Robert Pattinson To Kristen: For Pete's Sake, He's An Old Man!

The jealousy bug has hit Robert Pattinson recently as he is very upset with co-star and girlfriend, Kristen Stewart. "I guess it was bound to happen after the shooting began on this last Twilight", stated one cameraman. "It's about using the chara...

Bradford mineral water company 'faces ruin' amid Stephen Griffiths furor

Bradford, Yorks - (Slashers): A bottled water business faces liquidation amid reports extraction from local springs is tainted. Seepage from the now notorious River Aire has resulted in unexpected 'organic ingredients' surfacing at the company's p...

Tiger Woods And Elin In Fierce Battle Over Their Kids

"Elin has no right to take them away from me all the time", Tiger Woods reportedly told his golfing practice buddy, Sunday. "She'll constantly leave them with nannies while she goes on skiing trips." Not taking this sitting down, Elin was telling...

Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens Having Trial Marriage

Most people would have another name for it but Vanessa Hudgens is having a "Trail Marriage" with Zac Efron according to the tabloids. According to the story, the brilliant lady went off and left her water running at her house and it did over $200,...

Zac Efron, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner To Star in "The Louisiana Tar Balls"

LOS ANGELES - A spokesperson for Lionsdoor Pictures has just announced that Zac Efron, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner have been signed to star in the Benigo Luigi Montemarciano oil mess thriller Louisiana Tar Balls. The film takes place righ...

Wenlock and Mandeville cheap mascots that mean nothing to nobody

Apparently, Wenlock is the birthplace of the modern Olympic Games. Much Wenlock to be precise, a town in Shropshire in England. Hence, the 2012 London Olympic mascots have been named as Wenlock and Mandeville. Anyone thinking that Peter, Lord M...

Illuminati In The Dark Over Mind Control Allegations

In an amazing development, two representatives of the highly secret organisation known as the Illuminati rolled up at the office of Skoob News requesting that we publish a disclaimer on their behalf, as they feel they are being portrayed unfairly by...

BA Strike Latest: Nick Farage Hired To Fly Planes

British Airways boss Willie Walsh has announced his latest plans for beating industrial action. He has hired UKIP leader Nicholas Farage to pilot the companies planes. This strike busting move will clearly upset union bosses, but Walsh was unrepentan...

Angelina Jolie's Teeth Bucked Again

Although she's a beautiful lady, Angelina Jolies's teeth get bucked every six months or so and she has had six surgeries to have this corrected. Jolie admitted that it started while she was married to Billy Bobbing Thorton. "It was OK until t...

Britain's Got Talent: Liam McNally's Version of "Danny Boy" A Big Hit With The Audience and Judges

LONDON - The star of the latest edition of Britain's Got Talent is a 14-year-old student named Liam McNally. Little Liam thrilled the crowd with his amazing rendition of "Danny Boy." Liam said that he usually sings the song while accompanying hims...

Derek Hough Breaks Up With Leighton Meester Says He Misses Cheryl Cole

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Dancing With The Stars dancer Derek Hough has told his downstairs maid, Markayla Madison, 32½, that he has broken up with electro pop diva - actress girlfriend Leighton Meester. Markayla who has been Hough's maid at his Hollywood...

Michael Jackson's Alleged Gay Companion in Hiding

The self-confessed lover of Michael Jackson says he is hiding out following death threats by Michael Jackson's fans. Jason Pfeiffer says some of the threats are gruesome and graphic and have him scared for his life. Jackson's dermatologist, Dr.

Naked Christina Aguilera Postpones Tour Until Next Year

Since she only had two months to prepare, Christina Aguilera has postponed her 2010 tour until next year or her next hit song. So we say, next year it is. A representative of the singer took all his clothes off to his shirt and shorts and announce...

Part Of Sun Breaks Off, Heads Toward Earth

Houston, TX-- Concerned NASA scientists held a brief news conference this afternoon regarding our sun. The scientists warned everyone that part of the sun has broken away from its head, and is heading straight for the Earth. They said one of the su...

Greek joke and other Greek things banned due to financial crisis

In an attempt to shore up the Greek economy, get things back on track, undertake blue-sky thinking and use shed-loads of other meaningless clichés invented by overpaid and underworked consultants, Greek finance minister, Ack Ropolis, has acted swiftl...

Neil Armstrong Reveals Shocking Secret About The Moon

Washington, DC - Former astronaut Neil Armstrong revealed a bizarre secret about the moon to a gathering of scientists today. Mr. Armstrong was the featured speaker at a meeting of the Astronomy Association when he revealed the secret. Mr. Armstron...

Michael Jackson Autopsy Photos Worth $5 Million Held By Police

Hitting all the Hollywood news sites today was a report that there were many photographs taken of the autopsy of Michael Jackson that the Los Angeles Police Department are holding unto and that tabloids are bidding up the price for them to be release...

Tiny Penis Owners Lobby For Button Mushroom Penis Day

A loose alliance of various groups of men with small penises are to come together under the umbrella name of the 'Knights With Small Swords' in order to lobby Westminster for a special day of celebration in honour of people of their own ilk. It is...

Red Dead Redemption - Only Dudes And Horses

It's been hailed as the greatest console game ever, and the most significant western to be rolled out in decades, but Red Dead Redemption was a tricky project from the start. Apparently the horses were tricky. Red Dead Redemption is pretty much...

Dolly Parton Found Floating "tits up" and Plucked From Raging Nashville River!

Country Music Fans and Mammary Mavens breathed a sigh of relief today when the Coast Guard announced they had plucked Music Legend Dolly Parton from a partially submerged double wide where she had been clinging to the trailer hitch for the past 24 ho...

Funny story: The San Antonio Spurs Trade Tim Duncan To The Dallas Mavericks For Dirk Nowitzki

Spoof news stories from May 2010

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