The Spoof : Mar 2010 spoof news stories

Naked mystery man in Julia Alexandratou sex tape 'definitely not Nadal' - report

Athens - (Copycat Mess): International singing star Shakira can breathe a huge sigh of relief. The gorgeous, tanned, naked hunk in Greek pop star's Julia Alexandratou' whirlpool bath video 'definitely isn't Rafael Nadal' according to music industr...

Simon Cowell's Ex-Girlfriend Pixie Lott Has Nude Photos of Him She Wants To Sell Him

LONDON - Last summer Simon Cowell and singer Pixie Lott were quite an item. Cowell and Lott were both virtually inseparable even though there was a 30 year age difference between them. Lott and Cowell did have similar interests. Pixie liked to wea...

Jerry Seinfeld's New Show "Marriage Ref" Cancelled After Only One Week

LOS ANGELES - The curse of the Jerry Seinfeld cast continues as Mr. Seinfeld's latest offering The Marriage Ref has been penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct, intentional grounding, encroachment, and failure to be funny. The network of the peacoc...

Cock-Sucking Good For Men's Health - Report

Sucking a man's penis can be extremely good for his health, claims a report published on a railway station bog wall this week. The report, found in the end cubicle of the Gents' toilets in the railway station at Stockport, near Manchester, claims...

Dancing On Ice: Christopher Dean Chilling With Karen Barber

LONDON - Christopher Dean of Dancing On Ice fame has reportedly separated from his wife and has been seen doing the 'kissy-kissy' with Karen Barber, Dancing On Ice judge who is rather on the married side. The Nottinghamshire ice skater Dean is one...

Jon Venables New Identity Compromised

A man standing outside the Home Office today admitted that the new identity of Jon Venables, the brutal killer of toddler Jamie Bulger on Merseyside in 1993, has indeed been compromised and is available on the internet. The spokesman didn't say ex...

American Idol: If Kara DioGuardi Sits Any Closer To Simon Cowell She'll Be Sitting On His Lap!

HOLLYWOOD - The ten remaining girls performed on American Idol. And as Ryan Seacrest talked to the judges, it was fairly obvious that Kara DioGuardi cannot seem to keep from touching Simon Cowell's hands, arms, shoulders, and during the commercials h...

Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart prefer Twilight

Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart will put their lights out tonight because they prefer twilight,not because of this Earth Hour climate change campaign. Earth Hour ,organised by the World Wildlife Fund (WWF),will see millions of people switch t...

Robert Pattinson Seen With Nina Dobrev Of The Vampire Diaries

Whoa! Someone has their vampire shows mixed as several tabloids showed Robert Pattinson with Nina Dobrev on his arm headed to a private showing of a new movie and some TV episodes, where reporters weren't allowed inside. However, "ushers", if you...

Nigella Lawson Gives Her Breasts A Rest - The Delicious Miss Dahl Steps In

Whilst nobody could sensibly argue that the BBC got it wrong in combining sex appeal and cooking, it could be argued that the BBC are struggling to maintain the standards they set so efficiently. Nigella Lawson became the first sex cook, and a jol...

Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez To Star In "The Brenda Song - Ashley Tisdale Story"

HOLLYWOOD - Hannah Montana's Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez of The Wizards of Waverly Place will be starring in the Pictures motion picture, The Brenda Song - Ashley Tisdale Story." Both seventeen year olds are thrilled and as happy as termites in a...

Cheryl Cole Furious At Nadine Coyle Snub

As the rest of the country runs out of printable Cheryl Cole news stories, here at Skoob News we just keep right on churning them out. In the latest unremarkable twist in the Cheryl Cole saga we hear that Cheryl is furious that fellow Girls Aloud...

New Study Suggests News Climate Is Warming

A new study suggests that the IPCC is losing 10% of it's credibility mass every month, and could have completely disappeared by Christmas. "It's shrinking faster that we thought" said Anthony Watts the renowned skeptical blogger, who led a small...

Red Arrows Crash Theory

An investigation into the Red Arrows mid-air collision has revealed pilot Flight Lieutenant Kirsty Moore's make-up bag was open in her cockpit. Moore caused controversy when she joined the elite squadron earlier this year and turned up for her fir...

Sarah Harding Furious At Nadine Coyle's Cheryl Cole Snub

It's common knowledge that Girls Aloud bikini-babe Sarah Harding will do almost anything to get a mention on a prestigious satirical website such as TheSpoof.com but it appears that today she's really scraping the barrel. In the wake of a story wh...

Kristen Stewart Tells Nina Dobrev "Leave Rob Alone!"

After all the gossip column buzzing about Robert Pattinson being seen with Nina Dobrev of "The Vampire Diaries" last week, Kristen Stewart told reporters, including ours, that Ms. Dobrev had better watch her step. "Rob is easy going and naturally...

Cheryl Cole Gets Last Minute Oscar Nomination

Breaking news from Hollywood, the land of the mountain bike, is suggesting that Girls Aloud chanteuse, text victim, X-Factor judge and 5'3" pocket dynamo, our very own Cheryl Cole has been nominated at the eleventh hour for a special category Oscar.

Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart To Tie The Knot In Blackpool

Our Fylde Coast correspondent Duncan Whitebait has just informed us that Hollywood teen idols Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are set to tie the knot in Blackpool. According to Duncan, the Twilight star once holidayed in Blackpool as a child...

Peaches Geldof Fury Over Topless Tattoo Booze-Fuelled Naked Heroin Viagra Scientology Sex Pics

Peaches Geldof, the 21 year old daughter of Saint Bob Geldof of Live Aid was furious this morning after a series of photos appeared on the internet, purporting to depict a naked booze and heroin fuelled one night stand warmed up with viagra and polis...

Terry Venables 'No Relation Of Jon Venables - OK?' - report

Essex - (Ass Mess): The former England coach moved quickly today to distance himself from any connection to jailed child killer Jon Venables who is back in the slammer for unspecified parole infringements. "Similar names," El-Tel commented, "so wh...

Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Refuse To Appear In Any More Pointless News Items

Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have announced that they will no longer be appearing in pointless news items, misleading stories, and insubstantial fabrications - as of now. "It's all gotten to be a little too much," Kristen to...

Christine Bleakley Water-Skis The Channel - Frank Lampard Spotted 'Hovering'

The One Show presenter, Christine Bleakley has successfully completed her attempt to water ski across the English Channel, raising funds for charity in aid of needy Africans. Bleakley set off early this morning from the south coast near Dover and...

5,200 Naked Australians Set A New Nude Group Record

SYDNEY - One of Australia's most famous photographers Spencoli Turnapelli has just photographed 5,200 nude Aussies to set the new world's record for most naked people in a photograph. Turnapelli was asked how in the world he managed to accomplish...

Kepler Mission Spots Borg Spaceship Around Distant Sun

Houston, TX-- NASA scientists alerted President Obama about an unexpected discovery in Outer Space on Monday. The Kepler Mission had discovered something ominous around a solar-system 250 light-years away. NASA scientists say it is a Borg ship, an...

Taylor Swift, Taylor Lautner, Selena Gomez, Kanye West, And Jesse James Take Home Kid's Choice Awards

LOS ANGELES - There were more kids at UCLA's Paul Bunyan Pavilion for The 23rd Annual Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards than at a picnic outing of OctoMom, Brad and Angelina, Madonna, and Kate Gosselin's combined brood of brats. The evenings host Kan...

Sarah Harding, Cheryl Cole, and Nadine Coyle Say Ricky Martin Is Real Pretty And They Support "Her"

LONDON - In a surprise move 60 percent of the British all-girl band Girls Aloud stated pubicly, ah lets make that publicly, that they totally support Ricky Martin in his 'coming out' party. Cheryl Cole, Sarah Harding, and Nadine Coyle all agreed t...

Mariah Carey's Husband Says Her Boobs Have Gotten So Gigantic He Is Afraid To Touch Them For Fear That They'll Explode!

LAKE TAHOE, Nevada - Mariah Carey had just performed at Lake Tahoe's Queen of Spades Club before a private audience made up of members of The San Francisco Giants baseball team. Last year Carey was voted as The Woman We Would Most Like To Have Tou...

Ian Huntley Has Throat Slashed

There was widespread shock and disbelief at Frankland Prison, Durham, today after it was revealed that yet another attempt on the life of notorious Soham child-killer Ian Huntley had failed. Huntley had his throat slashed in the early hours of Sun...

Jon Venables Held On Spoof Sex Charges

With the truth about the reason for child killer Jon Venables' reincarceration unlikely to be revealed anytime soon, I can exclusively reveal that Britain's notorious tabloid press have taken a leaf out of this Spoof writer's illustrious book and sim...

Cheryl Cole Caught Crying In Copenhagen

COPENHAGEN - The X-Factor judge and Girls Aloud member Cheryl Cole traveled to Denmark to appear in the Danish X-Factor. Cheryl, estranged wife of Chelsea footballer Ashley Cole, will be singing her hit song "Fight For This Love." Cheryl told one...

Cops probe Robert Thompson's 'Somali pirates captured great aunt' claims

London - (Abduction Mess): The Jon Venables media storm has taken a startling new turn as police begin investigating former Bulger killer accomplice Robert Thompson's 'Somali pirates' kidnap claims. Muckers of the 27 year-old told told the Daily C...

Sarah Harding Wants To Be The New Gaga - Cheryl Cole Approves

Although she's been totally ignored by satirists until now, Girls Aloud's blonde bikini babe Sarah Harding today proved beyond any doubt that she's a spoofer's dream by announcing plans to rejuvenate her career as the new Lady Gaga! Sarah Harding...

Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Believe That Less Can Be More

Apropos of absolutely nothing, our reporter in Hollywood today told us that Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are all set to toe the Steven Spielberg line of brevity being all and less being more. Pattinson and Stewart agreed in...

Lady Gaga: Miley Cyrus Making Us All Look Cheap

Lady Gaga was on her hobby horse again about how the "Little Tart" Miley Cyrus is making young performers look bad in the music and film industry. "What can people like me and Adam Lambert and others do to keep this young lady from making a fool...

Cheryl Cole Sick - Or Is She Pregnant?

Media darling and self appointed 'People's Princess' Cheryl Cole, the Geordie pop warbler out of Girls Aloud and oft to be seen sympathetically sobbing stalwart of the X-Factor has cancelled all public engagements for the immediate future. Which m...

Venables and Thompson IDs were changed soon after birth

Merseyside - (Rotters): Media reports that Jon Venables is to be given a second post-jail ID by worried Prison Department officials will bring the total of his identities since birth to four. Like his former accomplice in crime Robert Thompson the...

Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Often Go Out Together In Disguise

Hollywood's Twilight superstars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart today revealed that they often go out together in disguise, so as to escape unwanted attention from fans and critics both. These days the couple have gotten the disguising thing...

Cheryl Cole And Sarah Harding In Bitch Fight Over Ashley

West End Stringer Barry Boddington was trawling the streets of the capital's fleshpots in the early hours of this morning when he was approached by two men in their early twenties who addressed him by name and informed him that there was a furious bi...

Nina Dobrev Of 'Vampire Diaries' Admits She's After Robert Pattinson

Nina Dobrev has admitted that she has set her hat for Robert Pattinson and that she has just as much right as any other female in her pursuit. "I've been hearing about Robbie and Kristen Stewart for what...two years. If she's not making her move...

Taylor Lautner Joining "The Vampire Diaries"?

Apparently, the popularity of Taylor Lautner in the Twilight movies have gotten the notice of TV's popular new "The Vampire Diaries" because the rumor going around is that Taylor Lautner is interested in appearing as a regular. "While I enjoy the...

Lady Gaga and Beyonce Both Deny Reports That Gaga Used A Stunt Double For Her Crotch Closeup In Her New Video "Telephone"

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Lady Gaga's latest video for her song "Telephone" was shot at The Abbott and Costello Men's Prison located just outside of Ventura, California. The nine minute video also stars Beyonce as Lady Gaga's BFF. Fox News reported that La...

Katie Price: I'm Bigger Than Peter Andre

Eyelash magnet Katie Jordan Price Reid (formerly Andre) has today announced that she will go head-to-head against her ex-husband for the remainder of his sell-out UK tour. At her Daily Price Conference Katie said, "I'm totally over Pete, and as yo...

Meryl Streep Insists That Her Husband Get His Tattoos Removed Or Else She'll File For Divorce

GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - Meryl Streep and her husband were in Green Bay picking out some cheese that they plan to serve at a big Easter Sunday party they are having at their $4.3 million Hollywood Hills mansion Casa Blonde Pubes, which once belonged to...

Robert Pattinson Caught Nude After Pants Stolen!

Twilight Actor Robert Pattinson seemed undisturbed after his pants and shorts were ripped off of him yesterday by three female fans, perhaps because he had a lot to show them. The incident happened yesterday at Maddame Tussaud's Wax Museum in New...

Apple iPad Debutante Ball is April 3, Kindle Says BIG WHOOP

The April 3 launch of the tablet computer, the Apple iPad, will be celebrated at a Debutante Ball at which the iPads will be formally introduced to society. The "Coming Out" Ball will be held at the Cupertino, CA, headquarters of Apple, Inc. App...

Sarah Harding Livid Following Ricky Martin 'Gay' Revelation

Girls Aloud's very own bikini-babe blonde-bombshell Sarah Harding was said to be absolutely livid, spitting feathers, hopping mad, bloody furious, and borderline ballistic as Latino heart-throb Ricky Martin chose to announce that he's gay at the very...

Robert Thompson's new ID shattered

London - (Royal Ass Mess): Convicted child killer Robert Thompson's new ID has been shattered to smithereens this weekend following reports that since 2001 he has had a grace and favor job as a Buckingham Palace flunkey. The 27 year-old is apparen...

Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez To Co-Star With Nina Dobrev on "The Vampire Dairies"

HOLLYWOOD - The producers of The Vampire Dairies have announced that teen idol singers Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez will be appearing on an upcoming episode. Cyrus and Gomez will appear as Griselda and Gabriela Guggenheim, cousins of the Nina Dobr...

Taylor Swift NOT Dating Taylor Lautner OR Cory Monteith

Contrary to yet another round of scurrilous and unfounded reporting, we can confirm that the boyishly chested country music diva Taylor Swift is NOT dating ex-squeeze Taylor Lautner - the werewolf out of the Twilight movies - after their blossoming r...

Caracas is South America's Deadliest City: "That's my Town!" Crows Sean Penn At Ceremony Honoring Chavez.

Follyood actor and activist Sean Penn was on hand today to award his idol and mentor Hugo Chavez the coveted 'Golden Bullet Award' for presiding over South America's deadliest city. The smiling Penn, always effusive in his support for the Narco Di...

Christine Bleakley to water-ski live for Sport Relief again - This time naked

Having already crossed the English Channel in a wetsuit on water-skis, Irish goddess Christine Bleakley has agreed to do the stunt again, but this time completely naked. She wasn't satisfied with the hundreds of thousands of pounds she has already...

Tim Burton's New Movie Stars Johnny Depp

Tim Burton's new 3-D(isney) version of Winnie-The-Pooh starring Johnny Depp, Johnny Depp, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Johnny Depp, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Johnny Depp and Johnny Depp, stars Johnny Depp as Johnny Depp in a gothic Tig...

Jon Venables New Identity Discovered!

The identity of Jon Venables, the killer who was released from prison on licence and given anonimity to protect him from the public after murdering toddler James Bulger in 1993, has been discovered, it has been reported. Venables, along with his s...

Frank Lampard And Christine Bleakley Should Come Clean

A group of tabloid journalists have made an impassioned appeal for Chelsea footballer Frank Lampard and The One Show's Christine Bleakley to come clean with regard to the exact nature of their relationship. Lamps and Christine have been spotted to...

Justin Bieber To Star With Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez In "Plays Well With Others"

HOLLYWOOD - Sixteen-year-old Justin Bieber has just signed to appear with 17-year-old teen sensations Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez in a full-length motion picture entitled Plays Well With Others. Bieber, who was born in Canada, has erupted onto th...

Girls Aloud Member Nadine Coyle Says That Her Diet Is Working Well - She Is Down To 87 Pounds!

LONDON - Nadine Coyle of Girls Aloud fame was out and about shopping in London's West End in a micro miniskirt. Several reporters snapped pictures of Nadine and remarked how skinny she was looking. When asked how her diet was going. She replied t...

Cheryl Cole Indifferent Regarding John Terry's Haircut

Cheryl Cole, wife of England left back Ashley Cole and close friend of Sarah Harding out of Girls Aloud expressed an air of indifference when she saw John Terry's much talked about Mohawk haircut. Mrs Cole did not liken the haircut in any way to t...

Stoned, naked, tattooed Peaches in Scientology temple sex romp vid shocker!

Los Angeles - (YouBoob!): Are they 'swallows' or love birds tattooed on her curvy bikini line? And is the Small Ones R So Juicy! needle artwork a reference to her fruity name or the naked bouncing breasts that Peaches Geldof is flashing in the ex...

Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart find Drunks buy The Twilight Saga New Moon DVD

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have been advised that research has shown that a large percentage of people seem to buy the Twilight Saga New Moon DVD after they get totally drunk. Yesterday for example Richard and Judy plus their daughter Ch...

New Moon Love Triangle Moves From The Screen To Real-Life

Kristen Stewart set tongues wagging at the Oscars the other night, and not for the right reasons. I was instantly enchanted by her and her amazing dress but our attention was quickly monopolized by the absence of boyfriend Robert Pattinson. Instead...

American Idol's Kara DioGuardi Reveals The Real Reason She Sits So Close To Simon Cowell

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi was interviewed in her beautiful Hollywood Hills mansion Casa de Musica. The attractive brunette was dressed in a red, white, and blue bikini swimsuit with matching flip flops and diamond-studde...

Charlotte Church Reveals How She Lost 87 Pounds!

LONDON - Charlotte Church, one of the most outspoken singers to ever come out of Wales has lost a total of 87 pounds. Church said that the reason she decided to go on a diet was simply because she got fed up with all of the criticism from the doze...

Local Man Captures Troll - Locks It In Shed

After a hard day at work, local man Martin Shuttlecock had just settled into his favourite armchair with a nice cup of tea and a packet of pre-dinner chocolate digestive biscuits. Shuttlecock had been looking forward to watching the latest edition...

World's Largest Game of Naked Twister Takes Place in Gymnasium

The floor was covered with row after row of red, blue, yellow, and green dots. The contestants wore only their sweatbands and socks. A man on the stage had his finger ready on the spinner. Judges along the walls were ready with clipboards in hand...

Daniel Radcliffe Diagnosed With Morgellons Disease!

Actor Daniel Radcliffe who has been out of the spotlight for the last 2-3 weeks, has been diagnosed by doctors at a London hospital with possibly having Morgellons Disease, although it is a controversial subject among doctors. Morgellons Disease i...

Lisa Marie Presley Now 175 Pounds, Following Elvis Footsteps

Friends of Lisa Marie Presley say that she seems to be following in her dad's footsteps as she has steadily gained weight over the last few years. The tabloids have been showing a growing Lisa Marie, that is the same age as her dad when he died sudde...

Worlds smallest man dies after attempting to have sex on a bar stool!

The worlds smallest man, 21 inches and Chinese, has had a fatal accident after being approached by a kinky, lon-legged beauty at a pole-dancing venue in downtown Rotherham, UK, after being presented with a pint of Guiness in honour of his record.

American Idol's Simon Cowell Tells Kara DioGuardi To Please Stop Constantly Rubbing Up Against His Body!

HOLLYWOOD - American Idol Judge Simon Cowell has put his judge's foot down and said that enough is enough in regards to fellow judge Kara DioGuardi's incessant touching and rubbing of his body in front of millions of TV viewers. The Britisher know...

Should Kate Gosselin be Required to Pay Alimony to Jon?

With Kate Gosselin now bringing in a paycheck from appearances on Dancing with the Stars (DWTS), and Jon Gosselin still kicking around with no job prospects, it only stands to reason that he should get some of her money. I mean, let's face it, he has...

Jesse James' "TattooGate" - Brigitte Daguerre Is Cycle Chick #3

LOS ANGELES - Ladies and gentlemen and now we present "Girls of TattooGate" Cycle Chick #3 Brigitte Daguerre. Duguerre, (which is pronounced GIVE Me MON) is a 40-year-old Los Angeles photographer and part time pole dancer. Brigitte has reported...

Twilight 'Eclipse' Trailer Causes Net Meltdown

The internet release of the trailer for the third instalment in the Twilight series, Eclipse had technicians the world over working flat out to sustain internet services as an estimated 11 billion people tuned in to see where Rob Patz, K Stew, Tay La...

Lindsay Lohan Wants To Have All Of Her Freckles Removed, Especially The Ones On Her Biscuit

VENICE BEACH, California - Lindsay Lohan was in town visiting a specialist who removes freckles. Lohan said that Kathy Griffin who has so many freckles, that even her freckles have freckles recommended that she make an appointment to see Dr. Wint...

Miley Cyrus Falls Off Mountain Bike

We're receiving news from our Los Angeles correspondent Ernie Trebblechance that Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus has been involved in a mountain bike accident in a location close to the Hollywood Hills. We're told that Miley misjudged a downhill g...

Raging Cheryl Cole Demands To Know Where She Stands With Derek Hough As Nicole Sherzinger Pics Hit The Streets

As pics hit the tabloids of Pussycat Doll Nicole Sherzinger frolicking about with Dancing Derek Hough, Cheryl Cole is probably sitting alone somewhere wondering just exactly WTF is going on here. Although there is no evidence to suggest that the d...

Fat Bloke To Replace Sir Alex As Manchester United Boss

Manchester United are to part company with Sir Alex Ferguson. The Glazer clan have become impatient, arguing that the Premier League title has not been won this season. Ferguson is thought to have claimed that the season technically isn't over yet. S...

Old Photo Of Young Cheryl Cole In Bikini Has Giant Cockroach Behind Her

An old photograph a family member recently discovered of their day at the beach twenty years ago, shows a 13-year-old bikini-clad Cheryl Cole standing in front of a giant cockroach. The photograph had been stuck behind another one from the set and no...

Iran in Millwall buy out bid shocker

It's official! Iranian President and despot Achmad Amadinnerbap has approached South Londoner's Millwall F.C in a possible buyout and takeover, for the massive price of two pie and mash. The shock announcement sent ripples of dismay around Ber...

Corey Haim not dead

Conflicting reports are emerging around American "actor" Corey Haim. Haim is apparently alive and well. Journalists claim Haim staged his own death as he was upset he was not famous enough. However, close family and friends state that expens...

Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart speak out about number of Spoof Stories about them on the internet.

Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart have been speaking out about the number of poofs on the internet, sorry that should have been Spoofs. Pattinson speaking from Kent in England from the film set of his latest Movie BEL AMI, Pattinson said "Kri...

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Sign To Star In "Oops - The Jesse James and Sandra Bullock Story"

LONDON - Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were in London taking in the sights. London native Pattinson was showing Kristen Big Ben, the clock tower, not 6 foot 11, Ben Clutterbuck who used to be the goalie for Chelsea. Kris who is not exactly...

Lindsay Lohan Says She & Samantha Ronson Split Over Ronson Finding Candy Wrapper In Her Panties

Lindsay Lohan says that all the stories about her and Samantha Ronson getting into knockdown fights were ridiculous. "Samantha and I are still friends", Lohan told The National Sewer that came out Monday. "We did have some arguments and we are bot...

Straw Asked Facebook To Shut Down Thick Of It Group

Jack Straw asked Facebook, the social networking site, to remove a group set up by fans of the satirical TV series The Thick Of It after complaints were received that it attracts too many thick bastards. The group, which purports to be for mature...

Robert Pattinson Waxwork Looks Just Like Him

Initial reactions to Madame Tussauds latest acquisition - Twilight star, Robert Pattinson - have been mostly favourable, with visitors remarking that the wax likeness bore a striking resemblence to the actor. "Eeh, it looks just like him," said 17...

Robert Pattinson to become Rab C Pattinson

The writer of the television series Rab C Nesbitt,Ian Pattison used to get more hits on the internet than any other Pattison until along came Robert Pattinson and that vampire Movie called Twilight. Pattison that is Ian Pattison speaking from the...

Was Kristian Digby Another Victim of Pooftahs Parasitus?

The BBC presenter Kristian Digby has been found dead at his home. He was 32 years old. Police have revealed that he was dead when paramedics arrived and that the cause of death was "unexplained". Digby was a homosexual and people are awaiting new...

Jesse James Says He Is Not The Bad Guy - "Hey My Wife (Sandra Bullock) Kissed Meryl Streep On The Mouth!

LOS ANGELES - Mr. Sandra Bullock, aka Jesse James, was asked if the alleged allegations that he was comparing intimate tattoos with an ex-Amish stripper named Michelle "The Bombshell" McGee were true. Jesse shook his head and asked, "The bitch is...

Lady Gaga wants to copy Christine Bleakley

Lady Gaga wants to copy One Show presenter Christine Bleakley and water ski across the English channel but with one major difference, Ga Ga wants to wear a hat with a seagull stuck on top. Gaga has said that she will cross the channel in a faster...

President Obama Told That Ricky Martin Is Gay Asks "Dean Martin's Son?"

WATERLOO, Iowa - President Barack Obama was in town to kick off The 97th Annual Corncob Tossing Championship and 17 Mile Three-Legged Corn Sack Race. He was asked what he thought about the former Menudo singing sensation Ricky Martin coming out. T...

Cheryl closes Beeb for Cowell the Illuminati Captain

Cheryl Cole practically closed BBC 1 on Friday evening by backing out of the Jonathan Ross Show at the 11th hour. Her press bods put the no show down to Cheryl having a tickly cough but we know different. Her failure to show was part of an elaborate...

Robert Pattinson pissed again like he was last summer

Robert Pattinson was pissed again which has been a frequent occurrence over the last year. Pattinson was seen at a bar in London and after twelve pints of Lager he was laughing so much he pissed his pants. Pattinson has never been out of the news,...

Emma Watson Just Not Sordid Enough

Satirists from all over the country met up this morning for a crisis meeting to try to ascertain which celebrity they would be aiming their sharpened quills at next. The meeting came as internet stats showed that the current staples of satirical b...

After Liam Kicked Out, Miley Cyrus Threatens To Leave So Justin Gaston Brought Back

After having her latest live-in Liam Hemsworth thrown out after a confrontation with her dad, Miley Cyrus was threatening to move out. So Billy Ray has called up Justin Gaston and a deal was worked out so that Gaston is back at the Cyrus home.

Miley Cyrus and Her "Last Song" Co-Star Liam Hemsworth Are Secretly Engaged!

ROSWELL, New Mexico - Miley Cyrus was in town visiting The International UFO Museum & Research Center with her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth. A reporter with The Roswell Daily Chronicle asked her about her soon-to-be-released movie "The Last Song."...

Ashley Cole Says That The Real Reason Cheryl Won't Take Him Back Is Because He Is Black

LONDON - Cheryl Cole left the studios of L'Oreal Cosmetics where she had just spent eight hours shooting a commercial when she was asked about her marriage. Cole managed a smile and said that it does not look good. When asked why, her smile left h...

Zac Efron Won't Be Playing Flash Gordon - Vanessa Hudgens Scotches Rumors

Vanessa Hudgens today laughed off reports that her boyfriend, High School Musical star Zac Efron, would be playing the part of Flash Gordon in an upcoming movie. "I don't know how this crazy rumor got started," Miss Hudgens told us. "But there rea...

Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart were invited to an Irish Bar

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were invited by a friend to an Irish Bar in New York for St Patricks Day. While they were there they met an Irishman called Cillian Murphy known to his friends as Silly. "I know your face from somewhere,I am su...

Susan Boyle a virgin: World shocked

PETERHEAD, Scotland, UK - The entertainment world is still aghast in the wake of today's bombshell from singer Susan Boyle. Apparently, Boyle has told reporters that she is a virgin. Boyle, the Scottish singing sensation, called a press conferenc...

Robert Pattinson - The Modest Superstar Gets Bigger And Bigger

It was a modest Robert Pattinson who ventured into Leicester Square in front of legions of adoring fans for the premiere of his new movie, 'Remember Me.' Pattinson, 23 and rapidly becoming the world's biggest box office draw should by rights have...

The U.S. House Approves The Health Care Bill - Rush Limbaugh Vows To Move To Germany

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States House passed The Health Care Bill by a vote of 219 to 212. After months and months of fighting, yelling, screaming, hollering, and backstabbing, (and that was just in the bathrooms), the monumental bill has been p...

Katie Price & Alex Reid: Wedding Venue Announced

The UK's most celebrated author, Katie Price, has exclusively revealed the details for her forthcoming second wedding to second husband, Alex Reid, who she first married a few weeks ago. Speaking at her Daily Price Conference the artist occasional...

Spoof news stories from March 2010

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