Funny story:  Lying, sex tape star and convicted drink driver named new England football captain

Lying, sex tape star and convicted drink driver named new England football captain

Fabio Capello today proudly announced the name of the next English football captain today after relieving John Terry of the responsibility. It's none other than the star of classic TV show 'Rio Plays For Laughs' - Rio Ferdinand. The youth of En...
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Funny story:  Michael Wants Motor Racing Crown

Michael Wants Motor Racing Crown

Famous Germain shove-racecar driver, Michael Pushmaker, has returned to attempt to reclaim his top-clown crown in motor racing. Following the recent events Michael Pushmaker has been encouraged that once again that the f-Uno scene is ready to ke...
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Funny story:  Arshavin DNA tests revealed on TV

Arshavin DNA tests revealed on TV

A recent mid morning TV show has revealed that Arsenal's Andrey Arshavin is indeed related to UK actor Michael York and not, as previously thought, Alexandr the meerkat. DNA experts have said that this outcome was simples. Meanwhile, Michael Yo...
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Funny story:  Toyota Stuck Pedals - Gizzum On Floor Mat?

Toyota Stuck Pedals - Gizzum On Floor Mat?

It was announced late yesterday that as long as horny Americans continue to have sex in the front seat of their cars, there is nothing which can be done to alleviate the stuck pedal problem - they will simply continue to get stuck with gizzum. Eig...
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Funny story:  Vanessa Perroncel - Expect More Revelations Soon - Terry Sacked as England Skipper

Vanessa Perroncel - Expect More Revelations Soon - Terry Sacked as England Skipper

Reports are flooding into my office tonight stating that John Terry has been sensationally sacked as England football captain by no nonsense head coach Fabio Capello. At this point I am still waiting for confirmation, as is the case with reports that...
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Funny story:  East Coast Storm to Bring Eight Inches, Men Celebrate

East Coast Storm to Bring Eight Inches, Men Celebrate

The National Weather Service has announced a winter storm warning for the bulk of the Atlantic coast, while the storm is expected to bring an additional six to eight inches of thick measurable depth. Chief Doppler Radar forecaster, Ivana Hardmen,...
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Funny story:  Vanessa Perroncel - Who was the Number Five?

Vanessa Perroncel - Who was the Number Five?

Whoever the elusive number five may be in the ongoing Vanessa Perroncel sex scandal, he is most certainly the most sought after individual in the UK. The problem is that he's keeping a low profile, and those in the know are refusing to blow the whist...
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Funny story:  Madonna's Boy Toy, Jesus Luz, Finally Dumps Her

Madonna's Boy Toy, Jesus Luz, Finally Dumps Her

After dating for one year, Jesus Luz, aka Madonna's 'Boy Toy' has finally decided to dump the materialistic iconic icon. Jesus, who Madonna called 'Yes Jes' spoke to Brazilian reporters as he lounged out on Rio's famous Ipanema Beach surrounded by...
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Funny story:  Sky News Anchor Kay Burley Facing Calls to be Axed

Sky News Anchor Kay Burley Facing Calls to be Axed

Not to be outdone by football sex scandals, MP expense debacles, French lingerie models or Scientologists preaching to Haitian earthquake victims, fans of Aussie pop song strangler Peter Andre, the former husband of Katie Price have been flexing thei...
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Funny story:  Toyota Managers Commit Seppuku

Toyota Managers Commit Seppuku

In the finest traditions of Bushido shamed managers of the Toyota Motor Company, Japan, committed ritual seppuku this morning to atone for the failure of manufacturing quality control methods which have caused a worldwide recall of millions of Toyota...
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Funny story:  Vanessa Hudgens: Zac Needs To Quit Playing Video Games & Play With Me

Vanessa Hudgens: Zac Needs To Quit Playing Video Games & Play With Me

Vanessa Hudgens has told her boyfriend Zac Efron that he needs to learn some new games with her and to leave the video games off for awhile. "He got a whole stash of games for Christmas and now he's in there on the things all the time", Hudgens...
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Funny story:  John Terry Stripped Of His Captain's Armband: "I Was Tired of Being The Captain Anyway"

John Terry Stripped Of His Captain's Armband: "I Was Tired of Being The Captain Anyway"

After days of rampant speculation, it is now official, John Terry, is no longer the captain of Coach Fabio Capello's England team. Capello speaking in front of hundreds of reporters from all over the world, including Alaska, Borneo, and Phoenix, s...
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Funny story:  Scientists Discover Medical Link to SIDS -- Not the Demon Lilith

Scientists Discover Medical Link to SIDS -- Not the Demon Lilith

After two decades of work, doctors and medical researchers in the United States believe they have evidence that abnormally low levels of serotonin -- a chemical in the brain that helps control breathing during sleep -- plays a pivotal role in causing...
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Funny story:  Election Subcontractor OneDollarOneVote Announces November Election Auction!

Election Subcontractor OneDollarOneVote Announces November Election Auction!

Election subcontracting giant OneDollarOneVote, Inc (NASDAQ symbol ODOV) announced today an election auction to be held in November. "Money is speech", said spokesman Clarence Thomas, "And when money talks, we listen!" ODOV's right to spend unl...
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Funny story:  Ron Raul For Legalized Marijuana, Prostitution

Ron Raul For Legalized Marijuana, Prostitution

In a speech before some 78 people yesterday, potential presidential candidate Ron Raul stated that he would like for the country to legalize the growing of marijuana with a portion paid to the government to get the national debt down. He would als...
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Funny story:  Kirstie Alley Funeral Plans Costly As She Wants To Be Cremated

Kirstie Alley Funeral Plans Costly As She Wants To Be Cremated

Poor Kirstie Alley can't get anything to go right these days. "I can't even plan for my departure, whenever that might happen", she told Dan Hilliard ass reporter of UP2. It seems that there are many extra charges for anyone over 300 hundred po...
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Funny story:  Local Woman Weds Man For His Monkey

Local Woman Weds Man For His Monkey

When local woman Tina Trollop, 19, married octogenarian bachelor Johnny Wad, 89, most locals thought that the old timer had at long last found true love and that they would all live happily ever after on his monkey plantation in south Norwich. Bu...
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Funny story:  Charlie Sheen May End Up Filming Two And A Half Men From Prison

Charlie Sheen May End Up Filming Two And A Half Men From Prison

ASPEN, Colorado - Charlie Sheen's attorney Gulliver Altoona has informed his client that things are not looking too good for him. Altoona told Sheen that the state of Colorado has informed him that they are sick and tired of all of these Left Coas...
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Funny story:  England dump Terry; Unknown Gay Player Offered to Replace Him!

England dump Terry; Unknown Gay Player Offered to Replace Him!

England manager Fabio Capello has dumped John Terry because of his recent antics and now is searching for a suitable replacement. "Gay as you Play" football magazine has offered Fabio some advice and offered one of their star players to captain E...
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Funny story:  Mel Gibson Hired as Toyota Spokesman

Mel Gibson Hired as Toyota Spokesman

It was announced today that "Edge of Darkness" star Mel Gibson would be the new spokesman for Toyota, which has recently been plagued with the minor defect of cars not stopping when the driver wants. The announcement came on the heels of a press c...
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Funny story:  Stephen King Wrote Latest Novel, "Under The Dome" On His Body Cast

Stephen King Wrote Latest Novel, "Under The Dome" On His Body Cast

When Stephen King was nearly killed by a van as he was out walking a few years ago, he had a long recovery in the hospital and his rehabilitation. "I was going nuts", King told our reporter, Bob Kane. "Other than putting a special curse on that va...
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Funny story:  Hand Sanitizer Manufacturer Secretly Releases Third Strand of Swine Flu Virus

Hand Sanitizer Manufacturer Secretly Releases Third Strand of Swine Flu Virus

A liquid hand sanitizer giant has reportedly released a sub-sect strain of the popular swine flu virus to the general public to make up for sagging fourth quarter sales projections. The company saw their stock prices soar over the past year as t...
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Funny story:  For The Cajun Population, A Super Bowl Win Could Go A Long Way After Devastating Louisiana Purchase Debacle

For The Cajun Population, A Super Bowl Win Could Go A Long Way After Devastating Louisiana Purchase Debacle

BATON ROUGE - For a select few citizens in Louisiana's state capital of Baton Rouge, the upcoming Super Bowl has a different meaning for them. Hearing the anecdotes about how good a win would be for the city of New Orleans after the very recent, dev...
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Funny story:  Carrie Underwood Reveals Why She'll Be Lip Syncing The National Anthem At The Super Bowl

Carrie Underwood Reveals Why She'll Be Lip Syncing The National Anthem At The Super Bowl

CHICAGO - Country music's sexy singing sensation Carrie Underwood appearing on The Oprah Winfrey Show revealed that she was actually the fourth choice to sing the National Anthem at this years 44th Annual Super Bowl. Underwood said that the NFL's...
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Funny story:  The Grey Alien - The Mr X files

The Grey Alien - The Mr X files

Our Mr X met up with a former employee who worked in area 51 also known as Dreamland. The employee who gave him name as Jim met at a secret location in Nevada to discuss his findings. Jim allowed Mr X to look at a Blue Book marked TOP SECRET but would not allow Mr X to keep the book. In the book it describes alien Creatures referred to as Greys who apparently occupy many underground bases on ea...
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Funny story:  Britain is Flat Broke!

Britain is Flat Broke!

The latest financial figures to shock the UK have just been released and it ain't good reading. In fact, Britain is flat broke. That's a fact. The UK government, a beaming guiding light for its people, is broke too! Even Fred Bloggs unemployed...
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Funny story:  Robbie Keane - I'll leave Celtic

Robbie Keane - I'll leave Celtic

The Glasgow club's latest big star name says he is delighted to sign for the team he supported as a lad but doubts he'll be there for too long. 'Oi tink oiv got ants in me pants or someting' he told us. 'Oid loik to stay for the rest of me career...
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Funny story:  Cambridge sluts protest at shagging noise curfew

Cambridge sluts protest at shagging noise curfew

Cambridge - (Decibels): Women students on classic Maria Sharapova grunting research scholarships are dismayed at draconian new rules imposed today. These limit the amount of permitted coital shrieking, yelling, pleading and goading during curfew h...
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Funny story:  100 bottles of Sherpa Tenzing/Edmund Hillary bourbon found on Everest!

100 bottles of Sherpa Tenzing/Edmund Hillary bourbon found on Everest!

Himalayas - (Bottoms Up): It's been described as the mountaineering equivalent of carrying 15st in the Gold Cup. "Never mind the 'five crates of whisky and brandy' found under Sir Ernest Shackleton's Antarctic hut!" a Royal Geographical Drinking S...
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Funny story:  Goldfinger: He loves only gold

Goldfinger: He loves only gold

Every day there are more and more advertisements on television for companies wanting to buy your gold at the same time the price of gold is increasing at an alarming rate. It is believed that most gold purchased through these companies goes back t...
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Funny story:  Katie Price warned she is not Jordan

Katie Price warned she is not Jordan

King Abdullah the nasty Dictator and oppressor of the people in Jordan has launched an astonishing attack on Katie Price aka Jordan. Abdullah has warned Price to stop using the name Jordan as that is the name of his country and she has no right to...
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Funny story:  Jordan - No JT Cock Shocker

Jordan - No JT Cock Shocker

Celebrity glamour girl and home made interweb porno star Jordan, also known as Katie Over-Priced, has today revealed that she has never had a fumble with shamed England captain John Terrence. This has come as somewhat of a shock to the sports and...
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Funny story:  Woman who eats only soil to appear on Freaky Eaters

Woman who eats only soil to appear on Freaky Eaters

A South African woman who eats only soil has been invited to appear on the next series of television programme Freaky Eaters. As a schoolgirl Thuli Malindzi got hooked on eating soil which she claims tastes better than chocolate. Thuli who is now...
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Funny story:  Panic at The Vatican as radio announcement says 270,000 priests to be scrapped

Panic at The Vatican as radio announcement says 270,000 priests to be scrapped

There was panic in the Vatican yesterday and their switchboard was ringing non stop after radio broadcasts apparently announced that 270,000 priests were to be scrapped. Thousands of priests phoned in thinking they were losing their job of represe...
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Funny story:  Detained Wabitt Escapes!  Wreaks Havoc in Spoofington Police Station; Spoofers Terrified!

Detained Wabitt Escapes! Wreaks Havoc in Spoofington Police Station; Spoofers Terrified!

Spoofington, NY- The Spoofington Police Department, in yet another embarrassing failure announced today that the infamous "Bunny Wabitt" who had terrorized U.S. and UK Top Spoofers has escaped. According to Sargent B.T. Fields, the spoof terrori...
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Funny story:  London Underground to go International

London Underground to go International

Commuters on the Northern Line were recently told to expect months of delays and a reduced service whilst rail engineers perform 'urgent upgrades' to the aging tube line. However, a spokesman for T.F.L. (Transport For London) has revealed that the...
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Funny story:  Kelly Clarkson Defends Her Weight Gain - It's No Problem, I'll Just Wear Black

Kelly Clarkson Defends Her Weight Gain - It's No Problem, I'll Just Wear Black

NATCHEZ, Mississippi - Kelly Clarkson, who was the very first American Idol winner, was in Natchez performing at a concert in The When Dem Cotton Balls Get Rotten Convention Center. And as always the gal from Texas put on quite a performance. She...
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Funny story:  Alex Reid and Katie Price: The Honeymoon Is Already Over!

Alex Reid and Katie Price: The Honeymoon Is Already Over!

LAS VEGAS - Goodness, gracious. In the words of Mr. Hoover, Damn! Mr. and Mrs. Alex Reid hadn't even been married seven hours when they had their first spat. It seems that Alex Reid and Katie Reid, formerly Katie Price, walked into a strip club ca...
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Funny story:  A California Court Mandates That Michael Jackson's Dead Giraffes Be Moved To New Jersey

A California Court Mandates That Michael Jackson's Dead Giraffes Be Moved To New Jersey

SACRAMENTO - A California ruling has just been handed down by the honorable Judge Wilfred Orlando Hoochcoffee (89th Circuit Court - San Andreas Fault District). Judge Hoochcoffee was informed that several of the giraffes on Michael Jackson's Never...
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Funny story:  Harry Potter's Emma Watson - Hollywood's Highest Paid Actress

Harry Potter's Emma Watson - Hollywood's Highest Paid Actress

Emma Watson, the 19-year-old actress has just been named the highest-earning actress in Hollywood. The British lass, who stars in the Harry Potter film series earned a little over $31 million [£20 million British] in 2009. She was asked how it...
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Funny story:  Pamela Anderson To Strut Her Stuff On Dancing With The Stars

Pamela Anderson To Strut Her Stuff On Dancing With The Stars

HOLLYWOOD - It has just been announced that Pamela Anderson, actress, glamour model, sex symbol, and professional wife (married three times) has been selected to appear on this years edition of Dancing With The Stars. The Canadian cutey stated tha...
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Funny story:  Sun Microsystems CEO Tweets Resignation, Starts Trend

Sun Microsystems CEO Tweets Resignation, Starts Trend

When the CEO of Sun used Twitter to announce (actually he did it through poetry!) his resignation, it started an important trend for human resource departments all over the world. Out are long, detailed memos to and from human resources. In are twee...
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Funny story:  Vanessa Perroncel Says John Terry's Cock Smaller Than We Would Imagine

Vanessa Perroncel Says John Terry's Cock Smaller Than We Would Imagine

Vanessa Perroncel, the model at the centre of the John Terry Scandal, has spoken out today in a French newspaper interview, claiming that Mr Terry's penis is not as big as people would think, and "nothing to write home about". Perroncel is the for...
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Funny story:  Steve Jobs "iPad is not just a big f*****g iphone"

Steve Jobs "iPad is not just a big f*****g iphone"

Steve Jobs has lashed out at criticism of Apples latest offering to the voracious and fickle world of technology. The iPad has been given a somewhat cautious welcome by the sweaters and spectacles brigade who had gathered together in statically ch...
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Funny story:  Iran secretly sends Mahmud Ahmedinejad on rocket with animal menagerie into space

Iran secretly sends Mahmud Ahmedinejad on rocket with animal menagerie into space

TEHRAN, Iran - Iran has announced that on Wednesday it launched an Iranian version of Noah's Ark [including a mouse, two turtles and worms] into space on a research rocket. This was meant to show the world that Iran could defeat the West in the...
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Funny story:  Mark Lowton Hirs New Profreeder

Mark Lowton Hirs New Profreeder

Mark Lowton, owner of TheSpoof.kom is pleased to announce that "Service to writers and reeders will soon increase dramatically for the better with the appointment of a new proofreeder, Denny Dooster, to TheSpoof.com payroll." Lowton, who is on vac...
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Funny story:  Nike To Pay Tiger Woods "Anything Elin Wants": Deal Will Allow Tiger To Play The Accenture Match Play Championship

Nike To Pay Tiger Woods "Anything Elin Wants": Deal Will Allow Tiger To Play The Accenture Match Play Championship

A SPOKESMAN for a major golf and apparel manufacturer confirmed today that it will "indemnify" and "pay" Tiger Woods for any payments necessary to satisfy Elin Woods, "if only Tiger will get back on the tour." Rumors are circulating that Tiger could...
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Funny story:  Giant UFOs Around The Sun Create Massive Superstorm To Destroy The East Coast

Giant UFOs Around The Sun Create Massive Superstorm To Destroy The East Coast

Grim faced NASA scientists called President Obama early this morning with the worst possible news imaginable. The gigantic UFO's circling the sun since January have apparently succeeded in turning the sun into a weapon of mass destruction. The firs...
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Funny story:  Robert Pattinson To Star In Rebel Without A Cause Remake?

Robert Pattinson To Star In Rebel Without A Cause Remake?

Rumor is that Robert Pattinson is afraid he's going to be typecast as a vampire and has taken on the role that help make James Dean a star in the 1950s. Warner Brothers had bought the rights to the story some time ago but they knew that it would t...
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