Funny story:  BNP to legalise 'British' drugs

BNP to legalise 'British' drugs

In an improbable turn of events, I can exclusively reveal that the British Nasty Party plans to legalise 'all those recreational substances which are native to the British Isles'. Under these radical plans, some drugs currently listed as class A,...
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Funny story:  Dishing The Dirt On Jack Tweed

Dishing The Dirt On Jack Tweed

Please note - The story you are about to read is being delivered to you under severely restrictive reporting conditions and at great personal risk to the journalist concerned. However, I have stated that I will dish the dirt on Jack Tweed, so here it...
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Funny story:  Fashion Leeds the Way

Fashion Leeds the Way

For the seventh year running, Leeds has been recognised as having the most organised fashion scene in the UK. Pepe de Schaat of elite London fashion agency FashionFashionGoGo was on the voting panel and offered this exclusive insight into the judges decision, "Leeds has a unique ability for organising their fashion, darling!! Nowhere else are people so desperate to achieve a personal sense of...
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Funny story:  Hospital Cuts Revealed

Hospital Cuts Revealed

Investigations into recent cuts at a Leeds Infirmary have revealed that the standard of care may not be what it once was. One patient, who did not want to be named, said, "Yes there have been cuts, but to be fair to the staff, they have been work...
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Funny story:  Lack of Development a Worrying Trend

Lack of Development a Worrying Trend

The credit crunch has put paid to developments all around the World and London is no exception - the Leadenhall 'Cheesegrater' and the KFC Hackney Observation Tower being the most famous examples of the halt in progression. It has now come to lig...
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Funny story:  Microsoft develops a new phone for babies

Microsoft develops a new phone for babies

Microsoft is trying to boost its mobile phone sales by developing phones for babies. The new phone, called the Cryphone has been developed so that babies will be able to communicate with their parents far more easily. The phone will use brand new...
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Funny story:  The Nancy Grace - Madonna Feud Erupts Once Again

The Nancy Grace - Madonna Feud Erupts Once Again

LOS ANGELES - Well after a few weeks of being on the backburner it appears that the feud between TV legal commentator Nancy "Graceless" Grace and has-been singer Madonna has flared up again. It appears that Grace fired the first shot as she insinu...
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Funny story:  Donald Trump May Kick Sharon Osbourne Off Celebrity Apprentice Due To Her Excessive Sickness

Donald Trump May Kick Sharon Osbourne Off Celebrity Apprentice Due To Her Excessive Sickness

NEW YORK CITY - Donald Trump, host, CEO, and owner of Celebrity Apprentice has just about had his fill of Sharon Osbourne being off due to sickness. Trump remarked that there are people in third and fourth world countries who do not miss school, w...
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Funny story:  Tiger Woods and Jesse James Agree To Appear With Nina Dobrev In "The Vampire Dairies"

Tiger Woods and Jesse James Agree To Appear With Nina Dobrev In "The Vampire Dairies"

HOLLYWOOD - The producer of The Vampire Dairies Manolo Middlezuck has just revealed that he has signed both Tiger Woods and Jesse James to appear in an upcoming episode of the hit vampire show. Middlezuck said that he did not want to give away too...
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Funny story:  Brown and Cameron to fight in cage

Brown and Cameron to fight in cage

Gordon brown today challenged opposition leader David Cameron to a cage fight to decide who will finally lead Britain into a campaign of more lies and letdowns. The fight will take place in may ahead of the supposed elections if given the go ahea...
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Funny story:  Woman With Ramshackle Ovaries, Clapboard Breasts Sues Tiger

Woman With Ramshackle Ovaries, Clapboard Breasts Sues Tiger

Helga Emerson, a 40 year old cleaning lady employed by a Las Vegas hotel, claims that Tiger Woods insulted her by denying her sex while she was changing linens on his bed. Helga, who admits to not being as beautiful and sexy as some of Tiger's other...
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Funny story:  Susan Boyle Accidentally Swallows Hornet During London Concert

Susan Boyle Accidentally Swallows Hornet During London Concert

London, England - Scottish songbird Susan Boyle swallowed a hornet last night, during her concert at Albert Hall. The famous Hall was filled with celebrities, including Sir Paul McCartney. Susan was singing 'Let It Be' when the freak accident happe...
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Funny story:  Women shocked to discover that most common bra-cup size is DD not B

Women shocked to discover that most common bra-cup size is DD not B

Most women are shocked to discover that they are wearing the wrong size bra-cup. A new study has revealed that a number of average sized women with above average bust lines is increasing. As a result the most common bra cup size has been increasi...
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Funny story:  Moscows infamous Neo Nazi group the "White Wolves" are given "Freedom of the city"

Moscows infamous Neo Nazi group the "White Wolves" are given "Freedom of the city"

The notorious Moscowite neo-Nazi group called the "White Wolves" (an extension of the German group called "Die Weisse W├Âlfe") have been give the "Freedom of the City" by the Lord Mayor or Moscow because of their "heroic deeds" in controlling the "ver...
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Funny story:  Madoff Endorses Tories

Madoff Endorses Tories

The Tories received a major boost today when another leading business figure endorsed their economic policies. Investment mogul Bernie Madoff said that he was "awed and amazed" by their "innovative approach to finance. Saving money that isn't ther...
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Funny story:  Why Aliens Almost Always Abduct Americans

Why Aliens Almost Always Abduct Americans

An inquiry was launched late last night in an Ipswich pub by three slightly tipsy blokes who just happened to be wondering why it appears to be that most Alien Abduction cases occur in the United States. A number of interesting ideas were put to t...
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Funny story:  Dame Elizabeth Taylor's Ninth Wedding turns Deadly

Dame Elizabeth Taylor's Ninth Wedding turns Deadly

Former Hollywood hottie, lifetime serial spouse, and president of the International Cougar Foundation Liz Taylor rolled to the altar once more high atop Mount Lee overlooking her glory days but what began as a simple sweet ceremony turned disastrous.
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Funny story:  As sex-scandal gathers steam Vatican more concerned with "forgiving Beatles"

As sex-scandal gathers steam Vatican more concerned with "forgiving Beatles"

VATICAN CITY - The ground beneath their feet is slowly crumbling and still the Pope and his cohorts are in denial. Instead of focusing on righting the many wrongs that the Roman Catholic Church has wreaked on innocent lives - today's neo-Roman Empir...
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Funny story:  Cheryl Cole To Audition For Britain's Got Talent In Disguise

Cheryl Cole To Audition For Britain's Got Talent In Disguise

Cheryl Cole is to audition at an undisclosed location for the upcoming series of BGT - in disguise. Insiders say that Cheryl has been suffering from a crisis of confidence recently, and is filled with a burning desire to find out whether the peop...
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Funny story:  Police Investigation #9320: Missing 3rd Leg

Police Investigation #9320: Missing 3rd Leg

Freud Department of Discrimination University of VagLess Neverland, JD 48320 Dear Freud, I am writing to inform you that the Common Sense Buero is currently conducting a large scale investigation and are in need of your expert opinion. Below is a description of case: Background Information: 2 weeks ago a 18 yr old female who is a full time student, currently enrolled in an intro to...
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Funny story:  Hockey player unable to find knob

Hockey player unable to find knob

If Canadian junior hockey player Chris Doyle "was charged with being a colossal asshole, prick and dickwad, I would find him guilty," a judge said Friday. "Of assault causing bodily harm, I find him not guilty." The verdict ends Doyle's assault t...
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Funny story:  Robert Pattinson Angered By Kristen Stewart Proposal Rumours

Robert Pattinson Angered By Kristen Stewart Proposal Rumours

Robert Pattinson - Edward Cullen out of the Twilight franchise - was said by friends today to be really ticked off about the media reporting that he has proposed to sweetheart Kristen Stewart - Bella, out of the Twilight franchise - saying that what...
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Funny story:  Bigfoot spotted on Mars

Bigfoot spotted on Mars

The creature known as Bigfoot which is reported to inhabit remote areas in the USA, has now been spotted on Mars and even been photographed. Bigfoot specialist Don Brown claims that if you GOOGLE, Life on Mars Photos, you will get a chance to see the...
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Funny story:  Twilight Phenomenon Triggers Vampire War

Twilight Phenomenon Triggers Vampire War

The recent success of the Twilight series has set the Ivory Towers ablaze with envy and the response has been quick. Hogwart University in Bristol has declared its intent to return to the glory days of vampirism by creating a doctorate program at...
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Funny story:  Conservative Election Pledge - Free Elocution Lessons For Scots

Conservative Election Pledge - Free Elocution Lessons For Scots

The Conservative Party today announced its first concrete General Election policy plan by vowing to drag Scotland into the modern world. By the sporran. Kicking and screaming if necessary. Keen to drag the Scots into the civilised world, David Cam...
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Funny story:  Greece Announces National Holiday After Getting Massive Bailout from EU : Brits Must  Work "Longer, Harder and for Less" Says Soros!

Greece Announces National Holiday After Getting Massive Bailout from EU : Brits Must Work "Longer, Harder and for Less" Says Soros!

Declaring it a "Zorba the Greek" moment, tens of thousands of Greek citizens poured out into the streets to celebrate the announcement that a last minute financial reprieve granted by the International Monetary Fund,(IMF), would enable them to contin...
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Funny story:  Leaders' debate gets revamp

Leaders' debate gets revamp

ITV, the network responsible for enriching the lives of all through its uncompromising investigation into the underhand world of Katie Price, today announced it would not bow to the establishment by allowing a mild-mannered presenter without an asser...
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Funny story:  Cadbury's Chocolate Cafes To Marmalise Opposition In High Street Wars

Cadbury's Chocolate Cafes To Marmalise Opposition In High Street Wars

When the American food giant Kraft took over Cadbury's, many traditionalists regarded the move as the end of an era, bemoaning the loss of a national institution on the cold hard altar of globalisation. But now those very same people are rejoicing...
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Funny story:  Beware Geeks Bearing Gas

Beware Geeks Bearing Gas

In the seaside community of Nags Head, on the Outer Banks of North Carolina, a new concept in the dispensing of gasoline is being tested on tourists as well as the locals. Just off Virginia Dare Trail stands the community's only 24-hour, fully au...
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Funny story:  Vatican memo leak causes more problems for 'God's Rottweiler'

Vatican memo leak causes more problems for 'God's Rottweiler'

The Catholic church has once again found itself embroiled in scandal after a memo issued by the Vatican was leaked on the Internet. The memo was issued within hours of the tragic air crash in Smolensk which killed many senior Polish government, milit...
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Funny story:  Charlie Brown complains as Susan Boyle is to appear in duet with Snoop Dog

Charlie Brown complains as Susan Boyle is to appear in duet with Snoop Dog

Susan Boyle is to appear in a duet with controversial singer Snoop Dogg, who has drugs and firearms convictions and was banned from the UK for brawling at Heathrow Airport. Snoop is looking forward to meeting Subo to discuss what they are going to si...
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Funny story:  Alternative view: Is David Icke right do reptiles rule

Alternative view: Is David Icke right do reptiles rule

David Icke was once thought of as a complete Nutter after he appeared in the Wogan show in 1991, but a lot of what he said has come to be true and he now fills halls all over the world, with his talks about the state of the planet, aliens, Illuminati...
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Funny story:  SuBo fanatics buy Blackburn

SuBo fanatics buy Blackburn

Susan Boyle fanatics were celebrating last night after buying her hometown of Blackburn. The town's name will be changed to Redburn with immediate effect. Two reconnaissance agents known only by their codenames 'Miss Psychobabble' and 'Jack the la...
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Funny story:  Lady Gaga claims she is bigger than Madonna

Lady Gaga claims she is bigger than Madonna

Lady Gaga claims she is bigger than Madonna but she is only 5ft 1", while Madonna is 5ft 4" tall, three inches taller. When advised of the height difference she said "I am still bigger than Madonna I weigh 110lbs, whereas Madonna weighs only 100lb...
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Funny story:  Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart in Transylvania

Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart in Transylvania

Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart are reported to be in Transylvania a region in central Romania, which is famous for the believe in vampires. Pattinson was expected to propose to Kristen in Budapest, but it is now believed he will propose to...
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Funny story:  Dead People Vote for us

Dead People Vote for us

An undercover journalist has been monitoring election fraud for years in various countries throughout the World, but has today made the sensational claim that it is just as bad in the UK. Colin Connor claims Labour, are the worst culprits at vote fra...
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Funny story:  Pope to be arrested, thank God...if He exists

Pope to be arrested, thank God...if He exists

The Pope is to be arrested on his visit to the UK later this year for crimes against humanity. The Pope has covered up the child abuse by Catholic Priests, in order to protect the Catholic Church, and if laws were followed and did not grant immunity...
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Funny story:  Brown: Title Has Slipped Away

Brown: Title Has Slipped Away

Gordon Brown, manager of the Red Devils, has admitted that it looks as though the title will be going to the Blues of West London. A series of poor performances have left the legendary Scottish manager needing a miracle. "The Blues are in the dri...
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Funny story:  Wayne Rooney Joins Cabinet

Wayne Rooney Joins Cabinet

Wayne Rooney has been invited to join the cabinet by Prime Minister Gordon Brown. If he accepts he will become yet another unelected member of the current administration. Rooney has shown excellent skill on the football pitch, but he normally pref...
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Funny story:  Conservative Manifesto Nominated For Booker Prize

Conservative Manifesto Nominated For Booker Prize

The Conservative Party's election manifesto has been nominated for the prestigious Booker prize. The award, given to the best work of fiction, has long been the goal of all authors. The manifesto, "We're In It Together" tells of how an upper clas...
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Funny story:  Jordan Announces Divorce From Alex Reid - Marrying Justin Bieber

Jordan Announces Divorce From Alex Reid - Marrying Justin Bieber

Busty Glamour-model, Jordan, has sensationally announced she is divorcing hubby, Alex Reid. Jordan, real-name Katie Price, 31, wed the cage-fighter late last year, but has revealed to me that the relationship has hit the skids. Price claims Reid...
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Funny story:  Elin Nordegren Flies To Hollywood To Meet With Sandra Bullock

Elin Nordegren Flies To Hollywood To Meet With Sandra Bullock

ORLANDO - Elin Nordegren, the wife of Tiger "Dick With Feet" Woods boarded a private helicopter in Orlando and flew to Hollywood. Nordegren will reportedly meet with Sandra Bullock in Bullock's Hollywood Hills mansion Casa Vrrroom Vrrroom. Acco...
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Funny story:  Kenny Chesney Finally Admits Why His Marriage To Renee Zellweger Failed

Kenny Chesney Finally Admits Why His Marriage To Renee Zellweger Failed

CHICAGO - Kenny Chesney appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show and for the first time explained why his marriage to actress Renee Zellweger was annulled after only four months. The country and western super star has had number one hits with songs such...
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Funny story:  Kate Gosselin: The Reason I Am Such A Lousy Dancer Is Because of My Children

Kate Gosselin: The Reason I Am Such A Lousy Dancer Is Because of My Children

READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin, the mother on the now defunct Jon and Kate Plus 8 reality show, and the dancer (?) on the current Dancing With The Stars reality show has finally spoken out. The 35-year-old blonde has stated publicly that th...
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Funny story:  Haley Barbour Channels Aunt Pittypat to Deny Racism's Afoot

Haley Barbour Channels Aunt Pittypat to Deny Racism's Afoot

In a stunning display of superior intellect and psychic power, Gov Haley Barbour (R-Miss.) channeled the spirit of Aunt Pittypat from the Movie, Gone with the Wind, to let the world know the hubbub over Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell's omission of slave...
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Funny story:  X-Factor Starting Soon - Morons Come Out To Play

X-Factor Starting Soon - Morons Come Out To Play

Oh Lord - the X-Factor season will soon be upon us again, as could be reasonably assumed by the three thousand morons who turned out to audition for the show in Manchester. It's pretty much business as usual for Simon Cowell and co as they take th...
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Funny story:  Natural Gas Explosion Averted in San Francisco

Natural Gas Explosion Averted in San Francisco

San Francisco CA: SFPD officers were called to a parking garage in the 2700 block of Lombard Street in the early morning hours of April 12, 2010. A neighbor had called 911 saying "she heard loud noises, laughter and some screaming." The officers r...
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