Funny story:  Pattinson, Stewart Go To See Medium About Vampires

Pattinson, Stewart Go To See Medium About Vampires

A source has told this reporter that Robert Pattinson and gal favorite, Kristin Stewart thought it would be a lark to go to see a real medium just for the fun of it, and inquire about vampires. Apparently they were told about an old lady in Canada...
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Funny story:  Vampire Jack Michaelson Laid To Rest At Last

Vampire Jack Michaelson Laid To Rest At Last

Los Angeles, California - Vampiric child molester, crotch grabber, and aspiring dancer, Jack Michaelson was today finally laid under the sod, once and for all. The interment ceremony took place today before a handful of anaemic looking people who...
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Funny story:  Kerry Katona Calls In Cops To Track Down Missing Millions

Kerry Katona Calls In Cops To Track Down Missing Millions

In a last-ditch effort to ensure that the scrag-ends of her disintegrating life remain in the public eye for as long as humanly possible, Kerry Katona yesterday asked for help in tracking down what has happened to her 'missing millions'. "I've ear...
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Funny story:  Dog days in the White House: Bo's journal, entry 3

Dog days in the White House: Bo's journal, entry 3

Woke up this morning to turmoil. The old "shit wouldn't melt in my mouth", Robert Gibbs was scurrying out of the House with his tail between his legs, and a whole lotta M*****F******s following his sorry ass. Seems like he just delivered the message that Barry's ratings have fallen again! Gotta admit, it must be tuff to be toppled from the Top Dog pile when you thought you were the meanest, nas...
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Funny story:  Editor Causes Eggstremely Big Stink

Editor Causes Eggstremely Big Stink

Police were searching for Spoof editor Mark Lowton tonight amidst fears that he was planning to carry out a chemical attack on the United Kingdom. Inspector Robin Jackman said "We believe that this man is intent on causing millions to suffer. We...
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Funny story:  Vampires Do Exist, Says Nashville Man

Vampires Do Exist, Says Nashville Man

Although the only place Howard Packer had ever seen a vampire was in the movies or the little kids at Halloween, Howard told Nashville police yesterday that he was attacked by one while on a recent visit to Las Vegas. "There I was", stated Packer,...
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Funny story:  Stooge Arrested at Funeral for Eye Gouging

Stooge Arrested at Funeral for Eye Gouging

LOS ANGELES, CA, USA The Stooges family patriarch Moe Howard is being held without bail on a felony charge of cruelty to a child and is not expected to be released until after his arraignment following the Labor Day holiday. Howard was arrested b...
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Funny story:  Television Is Good For Your Height

Television Is Good For Your Height

Recent studies have shown that watching too much television can seriously help promote growth in normal healthy humans. The research which has taken 13 years to complete has whipped the scientific world into frenzy. "The hypothesis from this stud...
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Funny story:  What a Production!

What a Production!

LOS ANGELES, CA, USA Probate Judge Mitchell Beckloff finally approved payment for the expenses that are expected to be incurred by the long anticipated funeral of Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, at a hearing Wednesday in downtown Los Angeles. Bec...
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Funny story:  Jamie Oliver's "Talking Bollocks"

Jamie Oliver's "Talking Bollocks"

Jamie Oliver's most recent television 'serving' has hardly had time to warm the plate ('Jamie's American Road-kill Trip'), but already his next money-spinning project is well under way and heading for the oven door. And if the prospect of seeing Sout...
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Funny story:  Chelsea Unperturbed By Transfer Ban

Chelsea Unperturbed By Transfer Ban

Despite being banned from signing any new players over the next two transfer windows, Chelsea aren't particularly worried about this latest sanction. "Hey, the governor is a Russian oligarch," a spokesman for the club told us. "We're used to ducki...
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Funny story:  Robert Pattinson's Dirty Little Secret

Robert Pattinson's Dirty Little Secret

Hot on the heels of the shocking revelation that Twilight star and teen heart throb, Robert Pattinson rarely washes his hair, comes a further damaging revelation from his own mother! It seems that Pattinson isn't all that keen on washing his feet...
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Funny story:  Bin Laden, Bin Sheep Shaggin'

Bin Laden, Bin Sheep Shaggin'

A news rumour that spread across the wires last week about a possible sighting of Osama Bin Laden took me on a strange adventure. The crazy cave dweller had been seen purchasing a box of Viagra from a local chemist on the Isle of Wight. The limp d...
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Funny story:  Anal Erections On The Rise

Anal Erections On The Rise

The modern phenomenon of anal erections is on the increase according to top scientist at a university. It is just one more side effect of genetic modification in our food that we shall all have to learn to live with. Another scientist in another u...
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Funny story:  The Crap Watcher's Diet Helped Me Lose Over 100 Pounds

The Crap Watcher's Diet Helped Me Lose Over 100 Pounds

Crap Watchers, the new diet craze of the stars is now being offered to everyone over the counter and close to the bathroom of all major drugstores. Once, only Kirsty Alley or Britney or Kirsty Alley again could use this amazing product to lose th...
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Funny story:  PETA Warns of Piñata Violence

PETA Warns of Piñata Violence

Norfolk, VA - Birthday parties are more than just cake and ice cream. To some they're celebrations of animal cruelty. "Pin the tail on the donkey, animal shaped piñatas. Where you hear laughter I hear screaming - we're teaching children that it's...
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Funny story:  Operation "You Look Like  Box Of Something" hots up!

Operation "You Look Like Box Of Something" hots up!

A man was arrested today for looking suspiciously like a box of cornflakes. The incident, which took place in the early hours of this morning on a Manchester council estate, is just another in the string of arrests in Operation You Look like Box of S...
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Funny story:  Football Legend Match Le Fixier Wins Fortune Predicting Exact Time Next Football TV Presenter Will Admit To Cheating

Football Legend Match Le Fixier Wins Fortune Predicting Exact Time Next Football TV Presenter Will Admit To Cheating

Match Le Fixier, the former England footballer, has collected a big win from a well-known bookmakers after betting on a sequence of predictions, most of which have come true. Le Fixier, who is now a sports pundit on satellite TV, placed bets over a...
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Funny story:  Kevin Skinner To Appear In PlayChick

Kevin Skinner To Appear In PlayChick

CHICAGO - The Chicago-based women's magazine PlayChick has just announced that America's Got Talent's Kevin Skinner will be appearing in their October issue. PlayChick's publisher Sonora Sofia Tuckerbaum, 38, stated that her magazine has been tryi...
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Funny story:  Pfizer's $2.3B promise to behave

Pfizer's $2.3B promise to behave

Major pharma player Pfizer has been ordered to pay $2.3 billion dollars in punitive fines for marketing so-called off label uses. In response to the ruling the fines were described as "the result of a calculated business decision" intended to bols...
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Funny story:  US Hairforce Protects Paris!

US Hairforce Protects Paris!

LOS VEGAS, NV, USA Paris Katherine Jackson, the eleven year old daughter of the late King of Pop, Michael Jackson, had her trademark long flowing locks shorn this past weekend in Las Vegas. Britain's Daily Mail reports that the Jackson family's se...
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Funny story:  Rooney reveals how Ronaldo got Sir Alex begging and kissing his "Magic Feet"

Rooney reveals how Ronaldo got Sir Alex begging and kissing his "Magic Feet"

Wayne Rooney has secretly revealed how ex-team mate Ronaldo used his very spoilt, childish and sometimes shocking behaviour to get his own way during his period at Man Utd! Ronaldo would often stamp his expensive feet, call Sir Alex a dumb twat in...
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Funny story:  Terry Wogan In Piece Of Cake Scandal!

Terry Wogan In Piece Of Cake Scandal!

Terry Wogan the prominent Radio 2 presenter has branded the broadcasters as "self-important" and called the profession "a piece of cake". This shocking statement is taken from his new book, "Where Was My Hair? The World According To Sir Terry of W...
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Funny story:  Formula One Boring. Official!

Formula One Boring. Official!

It was announced today that F1 is more boring than reading the ingredients list on a Pot Noodle. Aficionados of the sport agreed, stating that the sport needs spicing up and whipping into shape. "Who in their right mind wants to sit and watch the...
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Funny story:  Pelosi: Healthcare plan promises "big prizes and fun!"

Pelosi: Healthcare plan promises "big prizes and fun!"

In a recent townhall meeting, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi promised that the new healthcare bill would be "a rollicking rollercoaster of health related laughs and adventure." Speaking before a large group of citizens of Iowa, Pelosi wa...
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Funny story:  Man Suffocates Performing Sex Act

Man Suffocates Performing Sex Act

Paramedics were today called to a flat in Neasden following reports that a man was experiencing severe problems and breathing difficulties whilst attempting to perform a sex act on a Lithuanian prostitute known only to neighbours as 'Magda' Early...
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Funny story:  Jobs Boost With New Mini-Mini Models

Jobs Boost With New Mini-Mini Models

Two new models of the iconic car The Mini are to start production at the BMW plant in Oxford next year. This goes against the grain of the current financial climate, but a spokesman said this is due to a long love affair with the car and a need for m...
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Funny story:  "It's A Cookbook!"

"It's A Cookbook!"

If you've feared Obama Care you now have very good reason. The nearly unreadable, one thousand page plus bill has finally been deciphered by cryptographers for the Congressional Budget office. Their startling conclusion: It's a cookbook! The bill,...
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Funny story:  America Votes Grandma Lee To The America's Got Talent Finals

America Votes Grandma Lee To The America's Got Talent Finals

HOLLYWOOD - Grandma Lee, the 75-year-old Jacksonville Jokester is headed into the America's Got Talent Finals. The AGT viewers voted to keep Florida's most famous senior citizen going on, which at her age those two words do definitely have a dual...
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Funny story:  The Chupacabra Finally Caught!

The Chupacabra Finally Caught!

BLANK CHECK CITY, Texas - After twenty years of roaming the vast countryside of Central Texas the dreaded legendary creature the Chupacabra, which means "Goat Sucker" has finally been captured. Emmett Bob Figginfacker, a crop dusting pilot and own...
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Funny story:  Man Flu Pandemic

Man Flu Pandemic

After the recent spread of swine flu which has engulfed the world becoming the dominant form of flu, it seems yet another blow has been struck for world health. Almost ten thousands cases of 'Man Flu' have been confirmed among pigs. It is not yet...
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Funny story:  Nancy Garrido = Angry Iran Doc?

Nancy Garrido = Angry Iran Doc?

Antioch, Ca - (Reuterus): Anagram conspiracy theorists have seized on the Jaycee Dugard kidnap to decipher karmic messages in the abduction. "Butter-wouldn't-melt-in-her-ass Nancy Garrido is the real perv," Anagramanonymous.con sources said today,...
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Funny story:  Hull City In Bid To Sign Biggest Names In Football

Hull City In Bid To Sign Biggest Names In Football

They may have left it late in this transfer window but Hull City have today completed the free transfer of former Celtic striker Johannes Vennegoor of Hesselink. "It's important to have a big name signing," spokesman Phil Duffnut said. "And, my go...
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Funny story:  Cricket to be abolished and replaced by Football

Cricket to be abolished and replaced by Football

Its been coming for some time. But now its real. In a drastic move today, following test hopeful Joe Denly's knee injury caused while playing football, cricket has bowed to the inevitable. But the move will suprise many. Next season, its the crick...
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Funny story:  Angelina Jolie Finally Reveals Truth Of Age 16 Incident

Angelina Jolie Finally Reveals Truth Of Age 16 Incident

Although refusing to admit anything about it, several friends of Angelina Jolie have finally convinced her that what happened to her at the age of 16 has nothing to do with the lady today, so Angelina Jolie told reporters yesterday that it wasn't tha...
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Funny story:  Ufology whackjobs in charge of Japan government

Ufology whackjobs in charge of Japan government

Tokyo - (X-Files Mess): "His penis was rock hard like Martian monolith!" Japan's new first lady 'Sudoku' Hatoyama has told startled Tokyo TV viewers as she described shagging Tom Cruise on an acid trip to Venus. The piledriver moment even altered...
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Funny story:  Brown's New Deal Shores up Faultering Labour Vote

Brown's New Deal Shores up Faultering Labour Vote

In advance of his pending keynote speech, Gordon Brown was asked at Prime Minister's Questions whether, contrary to his promise of continual cash increases in spending and investment, the actual loss of entire hospitals and the closure of local villa...
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Funny story:  Alex Jones & Chris Jericho vs DX on WWE Raw!

Alex Jones & Chris Jericho vs DX on WWE Raw!

I thought I'd share a weird dream that I had last night with you all. What it means I do not know... For some strange reason I was watching WWE Raw and Chris Jericho was in the ring calling the audience nothing but parasites and hypocrites & (for some strange reason) his tag team partner Big Show was missing. Then the Imperial March from Star Wars started playing and Alex Jones started to m...
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Funny story:  Lord Mangelson Awarded Nobel Peace Prize

Lord Mangelson Awarded Nobel Peace Prize

The nomination of Lord Peter Mangelson (UK Business Secretary and Minister With A Finger In Every Pie) for the 2009 Peace Prize has been leaked by the Nobel committee. The citation reads "For your experiments towards withdrawing British troops fr...
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Funny story:  Scottish Government Abolished - Difference Not Noticeable

Scottish Government Abolished - Difference Not Noticeable

129 extra unemployed - that's about the measure of the difference made by the abolition of the Edinburgh talking shop, the Scottish parliament. Except of course, if you read newspapers or attend to broadcast news media, in which case you will have...
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Funny story:  Jaycee Lee Dugard's Attempted Escapes Foiled by Her Abductor's Gardening Skills

Jaycee Lee Dugard's Attempted Escapes Foiled by Her Abductor's Gardening Skills

Antioch, California - Despite what is being reported in the mainstream media, Jaycee Lee Dugard did attempt to escape, only her abductor's gardening skills frustrated and foiled her endeavors. "Each morning that sick bastard -- I mean the gentlema...
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Funny story:  Twatter: New Social Networking sensation

Twatter: New Social Networking sensation

It's known as "Twatter" the latest internet sensation. Unashmedly based on the old hat "Twitter", the site boasts a membership of 20 billion already, and growing at half a million a day. As founders Daniel Althat and Sean Bag o'Chips explained, "W...
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Funny story:  President Obama Addresses United Nations: Cockfight between US and UK Inevitable

President Obama Addresses United Nations: Cockfight between US and UK Inevitable

NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - A stunned United Nations listened silently as US President Barack Obama told a Peace Convention Saturday that the US Defense Intelligence Agency had intercepted over thirty coded cables from British Prime Minister Gordon Brown...
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Funny story:  Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 12

Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 12

"Oh my God!" Angie gasps. "Did you see that?" "Actually, no," Bitters says. "We didn't. We were busy watching the X-Factor in H fucking D. Why? What happened?" "They just, disappeared. Through the floor," Angie says, holding on tighter than ever to Abel Zorro, the Masked Avenger. Bitters looks around in desperation. Is she the only woman here with a grain of common sense? "Whoah the...
View 'Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 12'
Funny story:  After Funeral, Michael Jackson's Fans Uncertain What to Do Tomorrow

After Funeral, Michael Jackson's Fans Uncertain What to Do Tomorrow

Glendale, California - With the burial date of the King of Pop having been changed so many times, Michael Jackson fans are uncertain as to what to do tomorrow, when his body allegedly will finally be laid to rest. "At least that is what is current...
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Funny story:  Slap-Happy Stranger Unable to Silence Screaming Brat

Slap-Happy Stranger Unable to Silence Screaming Brat

ATLANTA, GA - A concerned Georgia man was arrested after he slapped a child in an attempt to silence the shrieking toddler at a Sam's Mart store. The two-year-old had reportedly ignored his repeated requests to "shut the hell up," authorities said...
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Funny story:  New "After Birth" ice cream celebrates conservative birthers

New "After Birth" ice cream celebrates conservative birthers

A Vermont ice cream maker has released a new placenta flavored ice cream named "After Birth" to show the company's support for the conservative "birther" movement. The so called birthers are conservatives that question the legitimacy of Barack Oba...
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Funny story:  Dog days in the White House: Bo's Journal

Dog days in the White House: Bo's Journal

Bo's Blog/ Issue #2 - I want to talk a little bit bout my education. I suppose you think cuz I be a black dog, I ain't got no smarts! I have what you might call, animal cunning...it's innate, part of my breeding, and passed down from my Daddy, who some tell me was SOME big, black smart M*****F*****. My Daddy! Now there's a story in it's own self, but that's for another time. Suffice it to say,...
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Funny story:  Afghan Elections May be Rigged: World Aghast

Afghan Elections May be Rigged: World Aghast

"How," world leaders are asking, "Could the Afghan elections be rigged? We never saw this one coming." In a country with the fine tradition expressed by its national motto "Democracy through transparent government" the surprise and shock is all...
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Funny story:  Israelis Use Dogs to Monitor Palestinians

Israelis Use Dogs to Monitor Palestinians

Tel Aviv - The Israeli tradition of using dogs for sentry patrol along the Gaza strip has come under scrutiny from PETA who says that the use of dogs as sentries is unnatural and cruel. While the use of sentry dogs has been standard practice for the...
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Funny story:  Sigmund Freud Interviews The Spoof Writers

Sigmund Freud Interviews The Spoof Writers

London UK: The Spoof writers annual picnic hosted an unexpected guest, namely Dr. Sigmund Freud. The rumor that the good doctor was invited by TheSpoof.com editor in chief and chief bottle washer was unfounded. Dr Freud, while using the London Und...
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Funny story:  Kristen Stewart Offers Rob Pattinson a Breath Mint

Kristen Stewart Offers Rob Pattinson a Breath Mint

VANCOUVER, B.C. - Kristen Stewart took her offscreen relationship with costar Robert Pattinson one step further today when she supplied the brooding actor with a much-needed breath mint. The act of kindness took place shortly after Stewart was ale...
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Funny story:  Dog days in the White House: Bo's Journal

Dog days in the White House: Bo's Journal

Alright, I suppose you're wondering how a black, knappy headed mutt like me made it all the way to the top in the White House while a lot of other well bred dogs are still looking for a good home! It was kind of an accident really. When the Obama brood was looking for some good press and a few photo ops when they first took over the White House, they needed a feel good story...not that they d...
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