Funny story:  Tiny ghouls prowl UK streets in search of sexual gratification

Tiny ghouls prowl UK streets in search of sexual gratification

Police have warned the public to lock their doors and stay vigilant tonight October 31st as it is feared hordes of the undead are prowling the country's streets in search of sexual gratification. One lady, 71 year old Madge Mingerly, who asked to...
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Funny story:  'Sherlock Holmes and the Curse of Halloween'

'Sherlock Holmes and the Curse of Halloween'

'Has this story started yet?', Sherlock Holmes asked his colleague Dr. Watson, 'and if so what's for breakfast?' 'Yes, Holmes it has, but this morning we're having sauteed kippers in a hollandaise sauce with just that frisson of lime zest that makes all the difference.' 'Just peanut butter and toast for me and a pint of strong tea', Holmes said, and picked up The Daily Maily to read. 'Why, it's...
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Funny story:  Halloween Pirate Boy Makes a Million in one Night

Halloween Pirate Boy Makes a Million in one Night

A Halloween Pirate boy called Jack (and his little sister) have made a Million pounds in one night. They achieved this act of financial wonder by dressing up as pirates and kidnapping Barrack Obama. They got the idea from watching the news. Th...
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Funny story:  Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson get scared straight

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson get scared straight

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson were booked in the Los Angles county jail for drunk driving. Lohan complains that jail is an alien world filled with unspeakable horrors. Upon entering jail Lohan says she was photographed and then transferred to...
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Funny story:  Big Dallas Cowboy Fan At Bar Can't Name Two Players

Big Dallas Cowboy Fan At Bar Can't Name Two Players

Dallas Kincaid, who bragged Saturday night that he was a big Dallas Cowboy fan from way back apparently couldn't name even two of their players at the present. This reporter was present at Heniman's Sports Bar on Broadway and overheard the whole e...
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Funny story:  Many People Unable to Find Nude Video of Erin Andrews

Many People Unable to Find Nude Video of Erin Andrews

Millions of internet users have been searching Google for the famous 'peeping tom' video of sexy, blond, statuesque ESPN sportscaster Erin Andrew nude, mostly with no success! "I saw the video when it first came out", said ESPN watcher Joel Higgin...
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Funny story:  White House Halloween Turns Tragic

White House Halloween Turns Tragic

Washington, D.C. - While 2,000 children lined up patiently in front of the White House, awaiting their turn to get a treat from the Obamas, one little boy was not so lucky. 8 year-old Adam Brickman, fresh from graduating grade one and from one of...
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Funny story:  Stacey Solomon shaves her head!

Stacey Solomon shaves her head!

In a bid to look like her idol, Stacey Solomon has shaved her hear ahead of the x-factor tonight. It all happened when she got to hair and makeup, she waltzed in and was told her hair would be put in a very high pony tail, she protested saying thing...
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Funny story:  Apple unveil the i-Toilet

Apple unveil the i-Toilet

With people queueing around the loo block for hours to be first to try the new Apple i-Toilet, executives from the company claimed it was their best launch ever. With the bottom falling out of many people's world, the new i-Toilet provides a high-...
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Funny story:  Jenny Shimizu turns into an artist

Jenny Shimizu turns into an artist

Jenny Shimizu the previously used-up tomboy lesbian servant of Madonna is announcing to the world that she is now an official world renowned eccentric artist like Andy Warhol. Her first art exhibition is being displayed at "The Museum of Modern...
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Funny story:  Women's breasts injure millions of TV viewers

Women's breasts injure millions of TV viewers

On October 29 and 30 [2009], Washington D.C. TV station WJLA showed real live women's breasts complete with nasty nipples in two public service news segments about breast self-examinations. Immediately the Concerned Women of America did its own se...
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Funny story:  'The Night of Hillary Clinton, the Vampire of Transylvania Avenue', by J.K. Lurking

'The Night of Hillary Clinton, the Vampire of Transylvania Avenue', by J.K. Lurking

As the sun set on Transylvania Avenue in the ancient European city of Washingtonja, people rushed home after their day of working in the fields, such was their dread of being outdoors after dark in that part of the world, but one pretty girl named Monica stayed out in the fields, singing a song quietly to herself. 'Whistle while you work, Billie is a twerp, my blue dress is, in a big mess, can't w...
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Funny story:  I was fingered by Jeremy Beadle, says dwarf

I was fingered by Jeremy Beadle, says dwarf

Miss Fanny Walker, from Sleaford in Lincolnshire has revealed exclusively to this paper that she was once fingered by TV Prankster Jeremy Beadle. "It was when I was 19 that it happened for the first time", recounted Miss Walker. "I met Jeremy aft...
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Funny story:  US in new push to end Mid-East peace

US in new push to end Mid-East peace

US Secretary of Hypocrisy Hillary Clinton is in the Middle East for talks aiming at blocking the peace process. She ignored Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, as Palestinians have no rich bank-owning relations in America, but headed to Jerusalem...
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Funny story:  Senator Lieberman joins Hamas....says Israel is "too pushy"

Senator Lieberman joins Hamas....says Israel is "too pushy"

In a revelation that surprised many in the Jewish community but few in Washington DC, Senator Joseph Lieberman confirmed today that he has joined Hamas. Evidentially, Lieberman and Khaled Meshaal, the head of Hamas reached their agreement at a priva...
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Funny story:  Obama: Beatles Song Drawing Aliens To Earth

Obama: Beatles Song Drawing Aliens To Earth

President Obama made his most important speech today to the American people and he stated right up front, "This is no Halloween joke, no Orson Well's 'War Of The Worlds', this is true. All I ask is for the public not to panic." "Everywhere in the...
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Funny story:  Police out in farce on Holloweeny

Police out in farce on Holloweeny

DENVER, CO - Holloweeny dunked drivers who imbibe in too many donuts that impair cops quest for donuts need to beware the police. The Colorado Department of Transportation said state police and local law enforcement will be out in farce Saturday l...
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Funny story:  Sacked adviser gets stoned and tries to criticise Brown

Sacked adviser gets stoned and tries to criticise Brown

The UK's former chief drugs adviser, Professor David Nuttcase, today smoked a massive spliff of grass and rollup tobacco, and then tried to criticise Prime Minister Gordon Brown. 'Look', he mumbled from his bench in Hyde Park, 'yeah, OK, good shit...
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Funny story:  Big Michelle Gobbles Up The Obama Girls' Halloween Candy

Big Michelle Gobbles Up The Obama Girls' Halloween Candy

Washington DC - The two little Obama girls both burst into tears this morning after a night of trick-or-treating. Someone had eaten all their candy. All of the 1,000 candy bars that the little girls had collected were gone. The hungry monster even...
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Funny story:  Mark of the Beast seance yields Mary Jo Kopechne ghost

Mark of the Beast seance yields Mary Jo Kopechne ghost

Cyberspace - (666-And-All-That): The Halloween ouija board rattled horribly today as a hextoplasm-encypted cyberseance message from the '69 drowning victim blamed Yale's notorious Skull And Bones Society. Her stark words caused an unexpected out-o...
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Funny story:  Wrong Songs To Play On Wedding Night, Top 12

Wrong Songs To Play On Wedding Night, Top 12

Wrong Songs To Play On Your Wedding Night, Top 12 12. Limp 11. Pieces Of April 10. Mr. Big Stuff 9. Love Hurts 8. Come Back When You Grow Up Girl (Ky. Only) 7. Love Comes Quickly 6. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For 5. Over, Under, Sideways, Down 4. Break On Through To The Other Side 3. Psychotic Reaction 2. Mama To...
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Funny story:  President Obama Written Children's Songs Nominated For Grammy

President Obama Written Children's Songs Nominated For Grammy

President Obama's own written songs, twelve in all and all about himself, have been nominated for a Grammy or that's the news on the hill. Entitled, "O Rest Ye Obama" is the title song of the album "Obama Oh Oh Obama" which has been sued already b...
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Funny story:  Scotland Yard Movie Line Up Boob!

Scotland Yard Movie Line Up Boob!

New Scotland Yard had a "bad day at the office" when officers included pictures of actors from a seedy 1970s porn film among images of people wanted after a recent football riot. The error came about when the Metropolitan Police used an old betam...
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Funny story:  Dutch girl's solo voyage banned for being too boring

Dutch girl's solo voyage banned for being too boring

A Dutch court has stopped a 14-year old girl from sailing round the world, because 'sailing round the world is the most boring thing to get in the news, year after year, it's a totally uninteresting thing to do.' 'What next? The first dyslexic pot...
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Funny story:  Lancashire mining town to host huge Islamic gathering

Lancashire mining town to host huge Islamic gathering

"Mark my words, there will be blood in the streets. " This was the chilling prediction voiced by shamed right wing activist Enoch Bowells, as it was announced that a mass march by three million Muslim fundamentalists would take place in the small...
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Funny story:  'Let's Just Take Ourselves A Bit Too Seriously' movie premieres today

'Let's Just Take Ourselves A Bit Too Seriously' movie premieres today

The movie premiere of American film 'Let's Just Take Ourselves A Bit Too Seriously', starring Denzel Washington, Barack Obama and Julia Roberts, was shown today in the village of Ginocide, Nebraska. American critics were already heaping praise on...
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Funny story:  John and Edward apoligise ahead of the show tonight

John and Edward apoligise ahead of the show tonight

X-factor Twins John and Edward have apologised ahead of tonight's show, one of them (we think it was John, but we can't be sure) said: "We are really sorry, our voices are sore, if you feel you want to chuck the remote at the TV then just do it, b...
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Funny story:  Sarah Palin Won't Use The "R" Word

Sarah Palin Won't Use The "R" Word

(Wasilla-AK) Soon to be Playgirl pin-up and almost son-in-law to Sarah Palin, Levi Johnston seems intent on keeping his almost mother-in-law off balance. This week Johnston accused Palin of frequently describing her son Trig, who has Down syndrom...
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Funny story:  New Jews Rock Out

New Jews Rock Out

(New York-NY) They call themselves "New Jews", Generation X and Y Jewish Americans, who are bringing the religion's ancient cultural beliefs to modern forms of expression. According to Punk Rocker Patrick A, "When I'm on stage screaming and pouri...
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Funny story:  Priests Against Health Care

Priests Against Health Care

(Washington, D.C.) The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops is calling the most recent Democrat House of Representatives health care bills. "Seriously deficient on the issues of abortion and conscience" and is urging priests around the country to s...
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Funny story:  Obama Ruled American

Obama Ruled American

(Washington, D.C.) A federal judge dismissed a lawsuit claiming President Barack Obama is ineligible to be president because he isn't a U.S. citizen. The lawsuit claim by the "birthers" maintains that President Obama was not born in Hawaii and if...
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Funny story:  The Jemermy Paxman Poem

The Jemermy Paxman Poem

Jeremy Paxman called to an axe-man a-standing in the street. Without a sound, the man turned around, and chopped-off both of his feet! Said Jeremy Paxman to the axe-man "for that I cannot stand!" For no reason why, no hint of a lie, He then chopped-off his hand! By then Mr Paxman was close to the axe-man slouched agai'n his door. Before he fled, he chopped off his head, and it...
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Funny story:  Santa Sent To Setanta?

Santa Sent To Setanta?

News is just arriving from Lapland that Father Christmas is to make a bid for the Irish sports broadcaster Setanta, which went into administration in June 2009. Setanta was set up in 1990 to provide sporting coverage for Irish ex pats, and operate...
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Funny story:  Cilla Black: My affair with Archbishop of Canterbury

Cilla Black: My affair with Archbishop of Canterbury

In an astonishing revelation, former singer & TV presenter Dame Cilla Black admitted last night that she had enjoyed a carnal relationship with the Archbishop of Canterbury for over 40 years. "It started in the 60's" said Dame Cilla, speaking...
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Funny story:  Nude Photos of Marilyn Monroe Surface At Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch

Nude Photos of Marilyn Monroe Surface At Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch

LOS ANGELES - A Neverland Ranch caretaker who is in charge of cleaning out The Billie Jean Petting Zoo has said that he found a Manila folder stashed way in the back of the woodpecker cage. Ranch worker Yuuki Koriyushu, 29, said that when he opene...
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Funny story:  Obama lifts a ban on entry into U.S. by dead people

Obama lifts a ban on entry into U.S. by dead people

WASHINGTON DC - President Obama on Friday announced the end of a 22-year ban on travel to the United States by dead people, fulfilling a promise he made to necrophilia advocates and acting to eliminate a restriction he said was "rooted in fear rather...
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Funny story:  Give children 'a Holloweeny' stuffed with pure aspartame

Give children 'a Holloweeny' stuffed with pure aspartame

WASHINGTON DC - Spokesman Dr. Strangedeath for the FDA held a short news conference today wherein he encouraged parents to give children 'Holloweenies' such as eyeball eggs stuffed with aspartame. Holloweeny could be used to rid the Earth of exces...
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Funny story:  Latrine Owners Rejoice Over New Health Care Bill

Latrine Owners Rejoice Over New Health Care Bill

Knockbridge,TN.-Homesteaders in this small Appalachian town got a welcome surprise this weekend when copies of the 1990 page Health Care Reform Bill started arriving at homes across the country via the delivery service, Federal Distress. "Woo wee!...
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Funny story:  Peter Jones Quits Dragons' Den After Bannatyne Altercation

Peter Jones Quits Dragons' Den After Bannatyne Altercation

Dragons' Den entrepreneur Peter Jones quits the hit TV show after a heated argument with rival 'dragon' Duncan Bannatyne escalates into name-calling and hair pulling. It was a routine day in the Den until a fight erupted between Jones and Bannatyn...
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Funny story:  Google offers 'Devil's Pact' - of candy!  Happy Halloween 2009!

Google offers 'Devil's Pact' - of candy! Happy Halloween 2009!

Users of the ubiquitous search engine found a treat in store for them today - and then realised a trick was involved! Google's Halloween logo shows a Pumpkin-tastic display of ghostliness. Well, a spookily-fonted Googl… with a pumpkin for an e!...
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Funny story:  Life on Mars Discovered, USA Population Declines

Life on Mars Discovered, USA Population Declines

Greenbelt MD: Space scientists and engineers have stared at Mars ever since Galileo first saw the red planet in 1610. The nagging question always has been, was there ever intelligent life on Mars? Commencing in the late twentieth century NASA beca...
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