As predicted last week, the X Factor has proved to be more insidious than Hitler, and has sparked a new European War.
Jones the Steam the secretive leader of the Welsh National Liberation Army "The Viet Taff" has announced that with the demise of...
In a pathetic attempt to become more popular and 'fit in', sometime Spoof writer and occasional giver of terrible advice, Madame Bitters has decided to try her hand at a Christmas Carol re-write.
Here is the fruit of her efforts:
Uncle Claude is Comin' to Town
(sung to the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town)
You'd better lock up the kiddoes to-day
A man in a van is headed your way...
LONDON - Simon Cowell, one of Great Britain's richest gents, has finally admitted that he actually likes X-Factor contestants Jedward, aka the Grimes Twins, John and Edward.
The Irish twins performed the theme from the Ghostbusters motion picture...
The good ol London Public have been declared to be 'lying bastards' by the Metropolitan Police Directorate of Professional Standards.
Of 5241 complaints against London's darlings the Metropolitan Police Territorial support Group, only 9 people wer...
American Boxing impressario Don King today made the shock claim that boxing title fights are never fixed.
'Well, they just ain't', he said, as he watched a recording of seven foot Russian giant Nikolai Valuless being easily defeated by Serena Will...
London - (Praia Da Illuzion): Officially, Portuguese detectives never found the pay-as-you-go mobile which Maddie may have accidentally smuggled on holiday inside her cuddle cat.
This weekend it suddenly popped up in Beijing after Interpol teleco...
Millions of British people today have condemned the war criminals Anthony Blair MP and President George W. Bush, for attempting to invade the sovereign independent nations of Iraq and Afghanistan, leading to thousands of dead civilians and British an...
LONDON- According to my secret source code named slash-8, a new business plan of the Environment Agency will slash carbon emissions by 60 percent, or 13 tonnes.
It will leave five million cars on the road, and still reduce emissions!
Slash-eigh...
The telephone company said that Booty Calls will be added to the list of optional services provided to their customers. Booty calls will be charged in a similar fashion to call forwarding, call waiting, and 3 way calling (which can be used in conjun...
There was bedlam last night in the US House of Representatives when the history making health care bill was passed. As Democrats,for the most part,cheered and high fived,the Republicans with red faces... jeered, grumbled, yelled, a few cried and seve...
FOREWARD: This is the first news story or article Jesus Budda has written in almost a year.
If the fat man can be bothered he will try and update this story every week until it's thrilling conclusion.
Dedicated to all the brave police officers out there who are corrupt, incompetent and enjoy masturbation.
The district patrol cop stands over the butchered corpse, stroking his chin.
"Hey!...
Appdict - Addicted to using iPhone apps in inappropriate situations.
Badge Doubt - The feeling that any badge or security ID shown to you is fake.
Fib Blab - Private nickname conservative talk-radio hosts give to their own programs.
Flu Reject - Person who does not qualify for any of the official categories of people who are advised to get an H1N1 flu vaccination.
Newslech - Male w...
It is believed that Somali pirates have kidnapped BNP leader Nick Griffin, and are holding him hostage on a narrowboat on the Leeds and Liverpool canal in Lancashire.
Police negotiators have been talking to a group of armed gunmen who are sailing...
In another example of 'Health and Safety gone mad', a town council has banned this morning's Remembrance Day parade on the grounds of 'pins given out with poppies can cause eye-injuries to children - or something.'
The town council of Felcham, K...
It has been announced that protestors are not the only thing the Metropolitan Police are seeking to destroy.
Today the UK Metropolitan Police have admitted running the most environmentally unfriendly fleet of vehicles on the planet. With governmen...
According to the loveable icon, Mr. Mickey Mouse, "Eighty-one years of being an angelic weakling is more than enough. I've had it. It's time to break out of my shell and move on." Gail Farrelly has gotten the scoop, straight from the Mouse's mouth...
PERTH, Australia - Britney Spears Naked At The Circus Concert Tour has hit some pretty rough waters.
The house lights came down, the stage lights went on, and the Louisiana lass came prancing out dressed up as a kangaroo complete with an obligator...
MANCHESTER - The reigning Miss England, Rachel Christie, has voluntarily given up her title after she was involved in a brawl in a pub in Manchester.
Clancy "Big Ben" O'Malley, owner of Ye Big Ben Pub said that Miss England walked in, sat down at...
MANCHESTER, England - X-Factor Judges Cheryl Cole and Dannii Minogue will be co-hosting The 1st Annual Telethon To Benefit Short People.
The idea first came to Cole one day when she opened up her kitchen cupboard to get a drinking glass. She said...
Dakota Fanning was spotted crying leaving the popular department store 'Fred Segal' on Monday, fans say.
The 11-year-old actress was reportedly seen this week with tears streaming down her face by members of the general public and the Californian...
Minneapolis - Beloved iconic figure Santa Claus was arrested yesterday on obscenity charges going back decades.
District Attorney Arni Applebaum says charges stem from the accused uttering the obscenity "Ho Ho Ho" in public repeatedly during the h...
Louis Walsh, loveable pervert and all round Irish gem shocked the world of entertainment today when his dementia finally revealed itself in a Hiroshima-sized hissy fit.
Walsh, 78, a former catholic priest and a current lover of young boy band Jedw...