Funny story:  Gordon Brown believes squirrels are a type of rodent!

Gordon Brown believes squirrels are a type of rodent!

In shocking news today Gordon Brown orders that every squirrel be killed. In an interview he states squirrel are rodents and should be eradicated. He personally declares that he strung up three squirrel's and buried two more. One MP told us that...
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Funny story:  Credit Crunch Over!

Credit Crunch Over!

17/11/2009 - Great Britain, and the rest of the world, breathed a sigh of relief today, when the Prime minister announced that a date had been set for the end of the credit crunch. Behind the scenes at downing street, scores of 'economic boffins,...
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Funny story:  Susan Boyle's $1 million Layboy - nude centerfold contract hangs in balance

Susan Boyle's $1 million Layboy - nude centerfold contract hangs in balance

London - (Cellulite Barrage Baloon-of-an-Arse Mess): Susan Boyle's one million dollar nude centerfold Layboy! magazine contract is up in the air after porn industry accountants poured scorn on her ability to pull Simon Cowell in time, er.... pull off...
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Funny story:  Britains Got Talent- Amanda Holden is a fake and sniffs onions to make her cry!

Britains Got Talent- Amanda Holden is a fake and sniffs onions to make her cry!

On the penultimate semi-final Amanda Holden, 43 age and 43 Botox injections was caught cutting up onions under her desk to evoke tears. An inside source said this is due to botox rendering her tear ducts redundant, but mainly because she is a heartl...
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Funny story:  California Offers Gay Marriage Compomise

California Offers Gay Marriage Compomise

The California Supreme Court offered a compromise proposal to the same sex marriage ban put in place by voters in November. The proposal suggests that one of the marrying parties first switch genders then, after 6 months of marriage, be switched back...
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Funny story:  Kinga Legg murder mystery: Sarkozy denies Hotel Bristol Palin links

Kinga Legg murder mystery: Sarkozy denies Hotel Bristol Palin links

Paris, France - (Pont d'Alma Mater Mess): First it was slinky model Katoucha Niane, fished out from the River Seine after a public slanging match about the size of Carla Bruni's ass. Then last week Spiderman-3 actress Lucy Gordon's lifeless body w...
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Funny story:  Another MP in Court

Another MP in Court

'Members of the jury', Judge Jeffries said, 'you have heard all the evidence against the accused. On the charge of fraud, taking out a second mortgage but stealing public money to pay for it, how do you find?' 'Guilty, m'lud.' 'On the second charge o...
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Funny story:  Cheney Toted As New 'It' Man For Horror Flicks

Cheney Toted As New 'It' Man For Horror Flicks

Casting agents, talent scouts and movie directors are ballyhooing Dick Cheney as being the new 'It' man for horror movies in Hollywood. The former President of Vice of the United States is being lauded as our generations Boris Karloff for his pot...
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Funny story:  Burnley reach Premier League - Chip Shop owners rub hands in glee!

Burnley reach Premier League - Chip Shop owners rub hands in glee!

Chip shop owners Nationwide were meeting tonight to discuss how best to cope with the anticipated demand in chips from newly promoted Burnley Fans. A Premier League taskforce was also meeting behind closed doors with Balti Pie Kings - Aston Villa...
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Funny story:  The Seat by the Toilet

The Seat by the Toilet

I recently took a National Express coach up to Heathrow. The only seat available that wasn't next to someone was the seat by the toilet at the back. After my initial reluctance to sit there I began to realise that it was a pretty good place to sit with a view if the road ahead and room to stretch my legs. I wrote this poem on the bus......... The Seat by the Toilet by Rob Barratt Yes, the...
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Funny story:  £30 million crack bust link as fugitive UK businessman's lover's battered body found in Paris hotel?

£30 million crack bust link as fugitive UK businessman's lover's battered body found in Paris hotel?

Paris - (Merde Alors! Mess): A spectacular £30 million cocaine raid on a Dover-bound British Transit Van... And the inexplicable disappearance of UK businessman Ian Griffin following the discovery of Polish blonde Kinga Legg's naked corpse in th...
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Funny story:  World Weakly Newz Ridicules Other Gossip Tabloids, Magazines

World Weakly Newz Ridicules Other Gossip Tabloids, Magazines

The World Weakly Newz has began showing up other national publications as complete frauds, especially the "Gossip" type. "These people make up a bunch of ridiculous stories and headlines and people actually believe in all that crap." stated a full issue of nothing but exposure of untrue stories, when they were published and what 'really' happened. "If all these marriages are breaking up ever...
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Funny story:  No FA referee costs United the Cup

No FA referee costs United the Cup

After one of the most average Manchester United teams in history managed to win the English Premier League this season, a team hammered only a few weeks ago at home by Liverpool, their manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, was confident of victory in the UEFA...
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Funny story:  The Expenses Files: 'The Kirkbride Phenomena'

The Expenses Files: 'The Kirkbride Phenomena'

As Federal agents Mulder and Scully arrived at the luxury cottage in the badlands of Worcestershire, there seemed no sign of anyone at the Kirkbride home. 'There's no sign of anyone at the Kirkbride home', Mulder said, 'my theory is that something mysterious is going on here. That extraterrestial activity has drawn people away from this place.' 'Nonsense, Mulder, there'll be a perfectly rati...
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Funny story:  Rihanna loses umbrella on London bus - Police appealing for information

Rihanna loses umbrella on London bus - Police appealing for information

London - Police are appealing to the public for any information concerning the loss of singer Rihanna's 58 carat gold umbrella, which she accidentally left on a London Metroline Bus Route 98 Holborn to Willesden Bus Garage. The incident happened at...
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Funny story:  Oprah Winfrey Buys The Boston Celtics

Oprah Winfrey Buys The Boston Celtics

CHICAGO - Talk show host and self-made billionairess Oprah Winfrey has just completed a deal to purchase the Boston Celtics. Winfrey, an avid basketball fan, who said that she was bouncing a pillow while pretending it was a basketball at the age o...
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Funny story:  New Show Britain's Next Top Politican tipped to be a ratings winner

New Show Britain's Next Top Politican tipped to be a ratings winner

Channel 621 have come up with a brand new TV show to rival hit game show Deal or No Deal and Britain's Next Top Model. BNTP is the brain child of television executive Gordon Clown. It will feature twelve politicians, as selected by a panel of pol...
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Funny story:  Simon Cowell Sues Budweiser, ALA Woody Allen, For Using Horse's Ass On Billboard

Simon Cowell Sues Budweiser, ALA Woody Allen, For Using Horse's Ass On Billboard

Right after filmmaker Woody Allen reached a five million dollar settlement with American Apparel after suing the clothing manufacturer for unauthorized use of his likeness on a billboard, Simon Cowell has sued the Budweiser Beer Company for the unaut...
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Funny story:  Possible 10,000 year old salsa container

Possible 10,000 year old salsa container

A recently found artifact from the Chilean rain forest has scientist baffled. The object has been carbon dated to be at least 10,000 years old. While inspecting it,it was found to have some cryptic symbols on it which, experts agree, translates as...
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Funny story:  Where Were You On D-Day?

Where Were You On D-Day?

French President Nicolas Sarkozy reacted angrily to accusations that he had snubbed the British people by failing to invite British royals to the D-Day celebrations on June 6th. "They were not invited because none of them were there," M Sarkozy sa...
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Funny story:  Adam Lambert To Record a Duet With Hollie Steel

Adam Lambert To Record a Duet With Hollie Steel

SAN DIEGO, California - American Idol runnerup Adam Lambert has stated that he will be recording a song with Britain's Got Talent contestant Holly Steel. The 10-year-old Steel, who is the biological granddaughter of Julie Andrews first wrote Lambe...
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Funny story:  Britain's Got Talent Susan Boyle To Sing Before FA Cup Final

Britain's Got Talent Susan Boyle To Sing Before FA Cup Final

After her stunning recent entrance onto the world singing stage, and last weekend's qualification for its final, Britain's Got Talent star Susan Boyle is set to reach an even wider audience after being invited to sing the national anthem at Wembley S...
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Funny story:  Susan Bloody Boyle In Four Letter Word Rant At Police

Susan Bloody Boyle In Four Letter Word Rant At Police

Hairy angel, Susan bloody Boyle, who is not as good at singing as she'd have us all believe showed true diva class by throwing a wobbly at her Wembley hotel yesterday. The 'never been kissed' (now there's a surprise) diminutive Jockinese crooner r...
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Funny story:  MP Julie Kirkbride Says She'll Go - If The Price Is Right

MP Julie Kirkbride Says She'll Go - If The Price Is Right

She spent over £1,000 of taxpayers money on a photo shoot in an attempt to glam up her image by posing with a haystack, but now Conservative MP for Bromsgrove, Julie Kirkbride, has finally bowed to public pressure and proffered her resignation. PROVI...
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Funny story:  Wills and Kate  'cracking up' as French £30 million cocaine bust scuppers royal wedding paycheque

Wills and Kate 'cracking up' as French £30 million cocaine bust scuppers royal wedding paycheque

London - (Bogota Ass Mess): The seizure of 684 kilos of cocaine in a Highgrove House 'Man & Van' in the Pont d'Alma Mater underpass where Princess Diana died has totally scuppered Prince William and Kate Middleton's royal wedding ambitions. Th...
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Funny story:  Burglar Bill to stand for Parliament

Burglar Bill to stand for Parliament

Following the recent announcements by several celebrities that they were going to stand against discredited MPs, another famous character has decided to throw their hat into the ring. Step forward Burglar Bill, best known from his adventures by Al...
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Funny story:  Julie Kirkbride worries that criticism of MPs may deter thieving scum from standing as MPs in future

Julie Kirkbride worries that criticism of MPs may deter thieving scum from standing as MPs in future

According to recent reports, Ms Kirkbride is concerned that criticism of her use of the MPs' expenses system might deter crooks from standing for Parliament. She is understood to be concerned that thieves that are currently working in the private se...
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Funny story:  Ferguson Blames CL Final Defeat On Hay Fever

Ferguson Blames CL Final Defeat On Hay Fever

"It was the hay fever that beat us here tonight," Sir Alex Ferguson moaned at the Estadio Olimpico in Rome as Manchester United were given a footballing masterclass by Catalan Giants FC Barcelona, who ran out easy winners by a 2-0 margin. Although...
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Funny story:  North Korea A-Bomb Test Was Just a Lot of Gas

North Korea A-Bomb Test Was Just a Lot of Gas

Washington, D.C.-The supposed test of a nuclear weapon by the rogue nation of North Korea was really just an unintentional release of "natural" gas by the country's energy ministry. North Korea, which has been stockpiling flatulence from it's pop...
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Funny story:  Robert Pattinson Signs For Breaking Dawn!

Robert Pattinson Signs For Breaking Dawn!

Even though it may be two whole years away, Robert Pattinson has already signed to do Twilight 4: Breaking Dawn. "I realize we just got through filming New Moon and are still finishing up Eclipse, but I wanted to go ahead and commit myself to doin...
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Funny story:  Boyle and Brand to be 'The New Professionals'

Boyle and Brand to be 'The New Professionals'

Top film producer Steven Spielberg is planning to bring back another slice of nostalgia by reviving the TV classic 'The Professionals' as a full length movie with a modern twist. Affionados of the series will remember with affection the thin plot...
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Funny story:  Susan Boyle Donates Car to Diabetic Elves

Susan Boyle Donates Car to Diabetic Elves

Two diabetic elves were made very happy last Tuesday, when they got their first car from singer and socialite Susan Boyle. "It was a pleasure knowing that I helped a couple of diabetic elves get the true meaning of friendship," said Susan Boyle,...
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Funny story:  Woman With World's Largest Vagina Visited by Ghost of Johnny Cash

Woman With World's Largest Vagina Visited by Ghost of Johnny Cash

RENO, NV - While spending a night at the Reno Casino Hotel, the woman with the world's largest vagina was visited by the ghost of The Man In Black, say sources. Initial reports suggest the hotel was built on the same spot Cash allegedly shot a man,...
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Funny story:  Sir Alex Ferguson thought to have passed away following Manchester United's defeat

Sir Alex Ferguson thought to have passed away following Manchester United's defeat

Paramedics, doctors and other medical experts were rushed into the football stadium in Rome straight after the final whistle to attend to what they thought was an extremely ill Sir Alex Ferguson following Manchester United's defeat at the feet of Bar...
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Funny story:  Manchester United To Learn From Barcelona

Manchester United To Learn From Barcelona

As the post-mortem began this morning on Manchester United's Champions League 'humiliation' by Spanish giants Barcelona, sources close to the club promised a major restructuring to more closely resemble the model and characteristics of their conquero...
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Funny story:  The Morning After: With Losers Man United.

The Morning After: With Losers Man United.

The general mood is sombre in the foyer of Del Pizzahuttio, the plush hotel Manchester United chose to stay in for the duration of their visit to Rome for The Champions League Final clash with Barcelona. At the large window next to the main entra...
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Funny story:  A WWII Japanese One-Man Sub Hits The Santa Monica Pier

A WWII Japanese One-Man Sub Hits The Santa Monica Pier

SANTA MONICA, California - The Santa Monica Pier had to be closed today due to some damage that was inflicted to it when a World War II One-Man Japanese Submarine crashed into it. Captain Takamatsu Fujisawa, Jr., of the Japanese MiniSub 107 was sh...
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Funny story:  Kim Jong-il's Radioactive Pork places third in Korean BBQ Cook Off

Kim Jong-il's Radioactive Pork places third in Korean BBQ Cook Off

PYONGYANG, North Korea - We've all heard about the double-rainbow that heralded Kim Jong-il's birth. We've heard about his knack for hitting holes-in-one at will and the operas he's composed, listened to the tales of his remarkable sexual prowess an...
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Funny story:  Gov. Schwarzenegger To Release One Million Prisoners

Gov. Schwarzenegger To Release One Million Prisoners

BEVERLY HILLS - CNN is reporting that California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has just informed them that he will shortly be releasing one million prisoners who are currently incarcerated in the California prison system. The governor said that h...
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Funny story:  Shakira Performs At The White House

Shakira Performs At The White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The hip-swiveling, Colombia singer Shakira performed at a White House dinner in honor of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. The erotically sensual Shakira performed her hits including "Whenever Wherever," "Ready For The Good Time...
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Funny story:  Spoofer Pointer Claims : "I Tapped Supreme Nominee at Cardinal Spellman, High"

Spoofer Pointer Claims : "I Tapped Supreme Nominee at Cardinal Spellman, High"

Spoofer Pointer has jumped all over the news that the United States President Barack Obama has nominated Judge Sonia Sotomayor to be the next Supreme Court Justice. Pointer has told everyone who would listen and plenty of the people who already i...
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Funny story:  Chris Brown Releases New Rap Video: I'm no  Animule!

Chris Brown Releases New Rap Video: I'm no Animule!

After his animalistic beating of his girlfriend and fellow Rap artist Rihanna, chris brown has been trying to climb back up to the days of his Sesame Street hoodlum daze. Brown tried to reingratiate himself with decent citizens of PBS: "Yo, yo..
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Funny story:  UEFA Championship Merges with So You Think You Can Sing

UEFA Championship Merges with So You Think You Can Sing

The miserably slow game of European football is believed to be one of the leading causes of suicide among sport fans around the EU. Morticians throughout the European union claim that most of the corpses that they see died of football related boredom...
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Funny story:  £5.00 Fee For 500th Spoof News Story Too Much For Crap Writer To Take

£5.00 Fee For 500th Spoof News Story Too Much For Crap Writer To Take

Crap Spoof writer Skoob1999 has finally given up the ghost on writing articles for the popular satirical website TheSpoof.com after being landed with a bill for £5.00 for the publication of his 500th Spoof article. 99er Skoof told us: "They don...
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