Funny story:  "Blame Name Shame For Change" Experts Say

"Blame Name Shame For Change" Experts Say

Cocks have shrunk. Balls have dropped. Bottoms have fallen out. - Yes, embarrassing names are beginning to die out. And it may be a direct result of having the piss taken out of you at school. Experts believe that emigration can only count for a smal...
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Funny story:  Below Decks, Chapter 21   On the Good Ship Lollipop

Below Decks, Chapter 21 On the Good Ship Lollipop

Below Decks, Chapter 21 On the Good Ship Lollipop It should be noted, of course, that no ship in this chapter is named Lollipop and that the things sucked on in this chapter in no way resemble lollipops or are made of sugar. In fact, nothing in this chapter is really that sweet as The Buggerall has been at sea for almost a year and the poop deck is really getting full and there are now fiftee...
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Funny story:  Britney Spears Removes Top

Britney Spears Removes Top

LOS ANGELES, CA - Linda Lovelace has been an assistant to Britney Spears for nearly three years, but says she never thought the day would come that she might get to experience something like this. "I know to some people it might not be that big a de...
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Funny story:  Ever gone to Northern Ireland, and found out your boat has been blown out of the water by terrorists?

Ever gone to Northern Ireland, and found out your boat has been blown out of the water by terrorists?

Have you ever wanted to visit Northern Ireland, and just as your boat approaches Larne it gets blown to pieces by a 10,000 pound bomb? Then fly there with Ironyair, the world's safest airline. As your Ironyair jet touches down at Belfast's Mad Dog...
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Funny story:  "Foggy Mountain Breakdown" Causes Patrons' Spontaneous Chase Sequence at County Fair

"Foggy Mountain Breakdown" Causes Patrons' Spontaneous Chase Sequence at County Fair

Chaos broke out at a recent Tennessee local county fair when a performing band played the banjo favorite "Foggy Mountain Breakdown" and the patrons began chasing each other around in vehicles and even on foot. "It was surreal. Everybody was r...
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Funny story:  George W. Bush Shoots Dick Cheney In the Face

George W. Bush Shoots Dick Cheney In the Face

AUSTIN, TX - Former Vice President Dick Cheney is in critical condition after being shot in the face by former President Bush at the latter's Prairie Chapel Ranch in Crawford, TX. According to witnesses, Bush saw a squirrel foraging at the base of...
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Funny story:  Sean Penn To Star In New Three Stooges Film

Sean Penn To Star In New Three Stooges Film

Oscar winner Sean Penn is trading in the drama for some serious laughter (and a few eye pokes) in his next big screen role. Penn will star in "The Three Stooges," a representative for MGM has confirmed to Access Hollywood. He will play "Stooge"...
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Funny story:  Terrorist Plane Spotted In Booger County

Terrorist Plane Spotted In Booger County

A small airplane clipped a private house on the Boogertown Road, Wednesday afternoon according to Booger County Sheriff "Hup" Giddy. No one was injured by the plane but farmer Elmer Bucket hurt his arm throwing a pitchfork at the plane, just missing...
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Funny story:  A dazed "Brown and out"arrested for revealing his "stimulus package" to startled shoppers

A dazed "Brown and out"arrested for revealing his "stimulus package" to startled shoppers

A dour Scottish man was today arrested in Washington in an attempt to display what police describe as a" huge fiscal stimulus package" to frightened shoppers. Startled onlookers describe a rather dishevelled and haggard looking man with flabby jo...
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Funny story:  March Madness: North Carolina Upset By Chopstick State

March Madness: North Carolina Upset By Chopstick State

MEMPHIS - In one of the most astonishing upsets in NCAA history, the highly favored North Carolina Tar Heels have been defeated by the lowly-ranked Chopstick State Fighting Egg Rollers 107-13. Tar Heel coach Roy Williams was so stunned that he had...
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Funny story:  Stone-throwing vandals thanked the BBC today, for telling them the exact address of Royal Bank of Toytown chief Sir Fried Eggwin

Stone-throwing vandals thanked the BBC today, for telling them the exact address of Royal Bank of Toytown chief Sir Fried Eggwin

In Scotland's capital city of Edinburgh, hundreds of people looking for someone to blame for that bank's financial problems streamed towards Sir Fried Goodwin's house, after the BBC showed the exact street and house number of that house on its televi...
View 'Stone-throwing vandals thanked the BBC today, for telling them the exact address of Royal Bank of Toytown chief Sir Fried Eggwin'
Funny story:  Kuyt is better than Messi

Kuyt is better than Messi

This is the incredible view of "Fat Spanish Waiter" Rafael "ranting" Benitez. "Fat" Rafa claims that Dirk Kuyt, the poor Dutch "winger?", has better skill on the ball, is faster and generally better looking than "that midget Messi". "That midget" is...
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Funny story:  Lebouf set to star in movie based on popular childrens toys

Lebouf set to star in movie based on popular childrens toys

DreamMovies Pictures in association with KeyGrip films has announced Shia Lebouf is set to star in an upcoming action film based on a series of popular children's toys. Movies about toys are the latest craze sweeping Hollywood. Producer Jerry Gol...
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Funny story:  Angelina Not Bothered After Brad Pitt Lets Ex Girlfriend Jennifer Aniston Have A Stroke Of His Penis - For Old Times Sake

Angelina Not Bothered After Brad Pitt Lets Ex Girlfriend Jennifer Aniston Have A Stroke Of His Penis - For Old Times Sake

Actress Angelina Jolie has said she is fine after discovering that husband Brad Pitt has allowed his former girlfriend Jennifer Aniston to stroke his average sized penis! Aniston, who was just passing the Pitt/Jolie house heard a familiar noise em...
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Funny story:  Angelina Furious After Brad Pitt Allows Ex Jennifer Aniston To Stroke His Massive Cock!

Angelina Furious After Brad Pitt Allows Ex Jennifer Aniston To Stroke His Massive Cock!

Actress Angelina Jolie is said to be furious after discovering that husband Brad Pitt has allowed his former girlfriend Jennifer Aniston to stroke his massive cock! Aniston, who was just passing the Pitt/Jolie house heard a familiar noise emitting...
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Funny story:  Spandau Inmates To Reunite

Spandau Inmates To Reunite

Former inmates of Spandau prison are to reunite for a special world tour. The tour has come as a surprise but those involved say that it is just what they need right now. Tony Von Hadlei, a former inmate said "Ya, it is true. So true. Funny how it se...
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Funny story:  A proof reader's nightmare!

A proof reader's nightmare!

In promulgating your esoteric cogitations or articulating your superficial sentimentalities, and amicable philosophical or psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity. Let your conversational communications possess a compacted conciseness, a clarified comprehensibility, a coalescent cogency, and a concatenated consistency. Eschew obfuscation and all conglomeration of flatulent...
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Funny story:  Chris Hoy: "Bran Flakes Have Ruined My Training Schedule

Chris Hoy: "Bran Flakes Have Ruined My Training Schedule

Chris Hoy, Olympic cyclist and hero of the nation, has told how an addiction to Bran Flakes has ruined his training schedule. The popular breakfast cereal is fine taken in moderation. But Hoy has become so addicted he has developed an embarrassing pr...
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Funny story:  Michael Vick Released From Prison - Heads Straight To Pet Store

Michael Vick Released From Prison - Heads Straight To Pet Store

Suspended NFL star Michael Vick has been released from jail in Kansas and made his first stop a Pet Store - where he purchased a poodle, which he will name Arthur. "I am reformed man, dogs ain't for fighting they are for loving" said the former At...
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Funny story:  Redcrapp: My Grapes Are Sour

Redcrapp: My Grapes Are Sour

Harry Redcrapp, cheeky cockney used car dealer and Spurs manager has announced that he is suffering from a nasty case of sour grapes. "I got the most 'orrible sour grapes, mate. And I really hate the Italians because they do not suffer from this. Thi...
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Funny story:  My 25th wedding anniversary fortnight of hell!

My 25th wedding anniversary fortnight of hell!

Day 1. Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried. Day 2. Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me something I don't know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed. Da...
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Funny story:  Britone Quits Sofa

Britone Quits Sofa

After 10 years of displaying her cleavage to unemployed layabouts Firm Britone has announced "I'm quitting". The daytime tv host wants to spend more time with her family, who have our sympathy. Britone also wants to move into more heavyweight poli...
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Funny story:  Jeb Bush's Love Child Caught Abusing Children

Jeb Bush's Love Child Caught Abusing Children

A scandal is brewing that could affect the 2012 Presidential run of former Florida Governor Jeb Bush. The adult love child of Jeb Bush and his former prostitute mistress Legi Slature, a Ms. Flo Comprehensive, who also goes by the rap name of F-Cat...
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Funny story:  Obama Sports New Beard At Press Conference

Obama Sports New Beard At Press Conference

DATELINE:WASHINGTON-- President Obama enjoyed showing off his new beard to everyone last night at his press conference. It is the first time a president has worn facial hair since Teddy Roosevelt over a century ago. Mr. Obama has been growing the...
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Funny story:  Fern Britton to leave This Morning

Fern Britton to leave This Morning

Presenter Fern Britton, who is rumoured to be a large woman, is leaving this morning. She had originally planned to leave this evening, but that was changed at one stage last week, to this afternoon. However, plans appear to have gone swimmingly w...
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Funny story:  New UK Party Promises Stimulus Packages

New UK Party Promises Stimulus Packages

A new political party - the UK Stimulus Party - has been launched today, promising to 'give Britain the stimulus it needs in these troubled times'. Speaking at the launch conference, Party Chairman Eric Mainsvoltage said, "The UK Stimulus Party wi...
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Funny story:  DEFLATION! - Britain hits deflation as prices rise 3.2%

DEFLATION! - Britain hits deflation as prices rise 3.2%

For the first time since the great depression, Britain is in deflation - a period of falling prices. Inflation rose by 0.2% to reach 3.2%, sending economic experts and commentators into panic about plummeting prices. 'Falling prices are terrible,'...
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Funny story:  "Rex Tillerson to walk the plank!" Obama orders Geithner

"Rex Tillerson to walk the plank!" Obama orders Geithner

Washington AC/DC - (Big Oil Mess): President O'Bama has ordered Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner to dump Exxon-Mobil CEO Rex Tillerson "into the nearest deep sea crude well" according to this week's BigOilShagger! magazine. The move follows the sup...
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Funny story:  Students' chant initially confuses media, viewers, other fans

Students' chant initially confuses media, viewers, other fans

Philadelphia, PA -- At the Wachovia Center on Saturday afternoon a raucous chant echoed through the rafters during the NCAA men's basketball tournament second-round matchup between the Villanova Wildcats and UCLA Bruins. Initially, both television an...
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Funny story:  Golly late for work - Stuck in Jam!

Golly late for work - Stuck in Jam!

Golly the much loved King of Jams and Mullah of Marmalade was today dreadfully inconvenienced when his Chauffeur Driven Limo got stuck in a traffic jam this morning. "I've got a business to run" fumed the culinary genius as he abandoned the car an...
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Funny story:  HBO Movie "The Special Relationship" Takes On Clintons, Blair

HBO Movie "The Special Relationship" Takes On Clintons, Blair

The political and personal relationship between President Bill Clinton and British Prime Minister Tony Blair is the focus of a movie for HBO penned by "Frost/Nixon" writer Peter Morgan. If "The Special Relationship" gets the go-ahead, Dennis Quaid...
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Funny story:  The Apprentice has been pulled from airing the latest session!

The Apprentice has been pulled from airing the latest session!

Sir Alan Sugar is said to be furious at news that tonight's episode will be the last. The BBC have said that after reviewing the first of the series they have decided that it's not what they want to be backing in a shocking twist. The Apprentice, whi...
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Funny story:  Steven Gerrard To Go Back To School Over Bad Grammar

Steven Gerrard To Go Back To School Over Bad Grammar

Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard, the man who, according to Zinedine Zidane, is "the best and most exciting player in the world at the moment", has come in for strong criticism over his incorrect use of the English language, and is to go back to scho...
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Funny story:  The Secret History of New Labour

The Secret History of New Labour

Following the excesses of the Hard-Line Labour movement post 1979, and successive Election defeats under Michael Foot and Neil Kinnock, a growing faction within Labour realised that without change they would be relegated to a footnote in political history. EARLY DAYS The movement, meeting in secret under the guise of Commons committees, called itself the Guardians of International Truth and...
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Funny story:  I Am The Very Model of a Modern Labour Minister

I Am The Very Model of a Modern Labour Minister

After all the Jade Goody stories of recent months (years?), I thought it might be pleasant to introduce some culture, and a little verse, to the pages of The Spoof. So, let's have a little bit of Gilbert & Sullivan: I am the very model of a modern Labour Minister My words are often cynical, my motivation sinister I know the laws of England though for me they don't quite register From...
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Funny story:  UK Alzheimer Society Wishes Jade Goody A Speedy Recovery

UK Alzheimer Society Wishes Jade Goody A Speedy Recovery

The UK Society Of Alzheimer's Sufferers has written to Jade Goody wishing her a speedy recovery after they remembered she had been diagnosed with cancer. "We wish this woman well - and hope she is soon back on our TV screens soon" repeated spokesm...
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Funny story:  Armstrong Shrugs off TdF Injury Fears

Armstrong Shrugs off TdF Injury Fears

Legendary cycle racer Lance Armstrong has insisted that he'll be able to compete in the Tour de France, despite fracturing his collarbone in an horrific crash last week. The rider, who has won the gruelling TdF seven consecutive times, was injure...
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Funny story:  Having Your Bread Buttered For You

Having Your Bread Buttered For You

People who prepare their own sandwiches from early childhood instead of relying on a pre-packed lunchbox from their parents or someone else preparing their sandwiches for them are more likely to be successful and positive in life than those who expec...
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Funny story:  President asks for moratorium on formation of improv groups

President asks for moratorium on formation of improv groups

President Obama today urged all Americans to refrain from forming any new improv comedy groups for at least ninety days. The President stated "We Americans are a creative people, and I salute the American spirit and energy, but I swear, if I se...
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Funny story:  Accrington Man Is A Bit Annoyed

Accrington Man Is A Bit Annoyed

Steve Gaunt, of Accrington, has recently voiced his opinions on the global economic crisis and the reasons behind it, it was revealed by his close friends and family. "I'm just a bit annoyed, really. The credit crunch is really hurting me and my...
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Funny story:  Teaching of students to be banned

Teaching of students to be banned

It has emerged from a university that teaching students maths, English and other lessons, stops there minds from writing stuff like this. Professor fumbler has said that "this sort of learning can seriously damage a child's brain and we should use...
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Funny story:  Sir Fred Goodwin's Windows Smashed

Sir Fred Goodwin's Windows Smashed

The Edinburgh home of former Royal Bank of Scotland boss Sir Fred Goodwin has been damaged overnight. Windows of the house and Mercedes S600 car parked in the driveway were smashed. The police are appealing for witnesses or anyone who may know w...
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Funny story:  Irish Taoiseach's revenge for IRA lavatory pictures rumpus

Irish Taoiseach's revenge for IRA lavatory pictures rumpus

Dublin - (Global Piss Process Mess): Irish Teashock Brian Cowen is mulling revenge on the Provos today after enduring public humiliation of having nude pictures of himself 'taking a(n arms) dump' hung in two Dublin art galleries. Ever the smug bas...
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Funny story:  Haïti Claims Turks & Caicos Islands are theirs

Haïti Claims Turks & Caicos Islands are theirs

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Tuesday - République d'Haïti President, René Préval, announced that the troubled Turks and Caicos Islands are to be annexed as Haïti's newest province and renamed 'Bohio', meaning "rich villages" in the ancient Taino/Arawak language.
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Funny story:  Phone Company Invites you to Adeline's

Phone Company Invites you to Adeline's

In an embarrassing mix up for all concerned the nation's largest phone company invited it's customers to Adeline's instead of "add a line", going so far as to include a phone number and address for Adeline's Diner in Bismarck, South Dakota. More t...
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Funny story:  Google Street View stands their ground!

Google Street View stands their ground!

After thousands of complaints to Watchdog, Google has said no to the idea of removing Street View, there new feature that allows you to walk the streets cities around the world from the comfort of your own home. The idea was thought up by Google...
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Funny story:  Gordon Brown promises to give Barack Obama a "fiscal stumulus"

Gordon Brown promises to give Barack Obama a "fiscal stumulus"

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown is on his way to Washington, at the request of the US President, to provide a "fiscal stimulus" to Barack Obama. The President said that he is looking forward to meeting Brown, whom he once went for a walk with...
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Funny story:  Is Kris Allen leaving his wife for a mysterious statuesque vixen?

Is Kris Allen leaving his wife for a mysterious statuesque vixen?

Hollywood, California - Reports are emerging that American Idol contestant Kris Allen is leaving his wife for another woman. Reporters and paparazzi have packed up their bags after waiting out in front of OctuMom's lawn and did a mass exodus to t...
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Funny story:  President Obama announces "Cracker Tax"

President Obama announces "Cracker Tax"

Motown legend and more recently President of America; Barrack Obama has just announced the introduction of his latest idea - The "Cracker Tax". "It's basically a tax on white people" beamed the leader of the free world addressing congress this mor...
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Funny story:  DJ in Gay Sex Arrest Shocker!

DJ in Gay Sex Arrest Shocker!

A Radio DJ and well-known homophobe has been arrested for gross indecency, it was revealed today. The presenter, who makes (too) much of his heterosexuality and who was recently reprimanded for unpleasant remarks concerning the sexuality of singer...
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Funny story:  IPL To Be Known As SAPL

IPL To Be Known As SAPL

The Indian Premier League, or IPL, which has now been moved to South Africa amid worries over the security of players due to play in it, will now be known as the SAPL, according to cricket chiefs who met yesterday in Johannesburg. The tournament w...
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Funny story:  Government Launch New Anti-Terror Force

Government Launch New Anti-Terror Force

The Government today announced the creation of a new, 60,000-strong volunteer force to take the war against extremism and terror into the streets of Britain. A development of the 'citizen justice' concept that brought us the Traffic Wombles and th...
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Funny story:  Why sheep are better than women

Why sheep are better than women

1. Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth. 2. You can get a better grip on a sheep's ear. 3. Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather. 4. Cottonmouth is easier to get rid of than a social disease. 5. Nuttin' beats mutton. 6. Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towel. 7. Sheep won't drink your liquor, smoke your weed, snort your coke, and then tell you t...
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Funny story:  British Penises Visible from Space

British Penises Visible from Space

Astronauts have reported that the Great Wall of China is a man made structure that can be seen from outer space. The ancient thousands miles construction has held this unique honor since the beginning of men in space. But recent observations fro...
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Funny story:  Big Brother Commands British Educational Curriculum in Honor of St Jade Goody

Big Brother Commands British Educational Curriculum in Honor of St Jade Goody

Since the death of newly canonized St Jade Goody, the Reality TV show that catapulted her to heaven itself has been appointed Secretaries of British education. Parliament spokesperson, Lady Pop Kulture Pearls explained: "For years now we h...
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Funny story:  New World Order pox monétaire est acmetal ACME - Amero meurt

New World Order pox monétaire est acmetal ACME - Amero meurt

ASSbronzage, Kazakhstan - Après ma source canadienne Noball-Prix de la Vienne Obertrien Undellmien professeur, Ursultannien Azarbayevnien dictateur, ici a été adoptée par la groupe Bilderberg offrir, pour le plan de déjà convenues New World Order mon...
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Funny story:  This Day in History - March 25

This Day in History - March 25

Today is Wednesday, March 25, the 84th day of 2009. There are 281 days left in the year. Today's Highlight in History: On March 25, 1965, the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. led 25,000 marchers to the state capitol in Montgomery, Ala., to protest the denial of voting rights to blacks.20,ooo voted to get their black asses out of the backward south and move among the northern racist whites. On...
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Funny story:  Insurance Ogre's Boners Turn Bonuses to Poo

Insurance Ogre's Boners Turn Bonuses to Poo

Clever witch Blackrack and her worlock hubbie, Mullpointgard cast a spell on GAG insurance ogre and their bonuses and bailouts turned to poo. Poo is the newest, latest world currency that can only be spent on doing good. GAG millionaire bonus babies...
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Funny story:  Vista Takes Europe by Storm

Vista Takes Europe by Storm

Warsaw - Vista took Poland by storm yesterday in a Blitzkrieg maneuver infiltrating and bypassing outdated Polish defenses based on Commodore 64 hardware and DOS software. Despite fierce resistance by partisans hackers the Vista software quickly...
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Funny story:  PETA Members Disappear

PETA Members Disappear

Norfolk VA: Police were called to the PETA world headquarters today when a neighbor reported strange noises outside the building around dusk. When the police arrived, they found a totally empty building devoid of anything but a tank of sea kittens...
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Funny story:  Jade Goody Estate Sues Candy Manufacturers

Jade Goody Estate Sues Candy Manufacturers

Lawyers for the estate of the late Jade Goody have sued a large multi-national candy making company for trademark infringement in International Courts (through the United Nations). Attorney Mark Schaeffer said that "we have determined that the com...
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Funny story:  Sperm Bank To Offer Some Relief

Sperm Bank To Offer Some Relief

A sperm bank has taken steps to beat the crunch. Following a downturn in business the Nova Mews Sperm Bank has identified ways to move forward. Those making a withdrawal will see a significant reduction if they buy in bulk. For example, if they pu...
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Funny story:  Spoof Writer First To Leave UK to Comply With Population Reduction Edict!

Spoof Writer First To Leave UK to Comply With Population Reduction Edict!

Bristol,UK/ Population Control News - PM Brown's environmental expert, Jonathon Porritt, said today that half of the island's population "had to go" if it was to survive! Spoof Writer Buck Pissgums, was the first to make his way to Southampton and...
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