People in the UK are always saying that 'Eggs is eggs' according to popular folklore. But for BNP Leader Nick Gryphon these words turned out to be portentous.
Gryphon was pelted with eggs and almost omelettised by outraged protesters in Westminste...
"Hang on, I didn't exactly say that," former Prime Minister Tony Blair told a packed room of international journalists. Including us. "I didn't say I was going to return from the political wilderness to lead my people to the promised land. Unlike som...
Katie Price and Peter Andre. Once Britain's favourite celebrity couple, rivaled only by Mickey and Minnie Mouse.
Now days,they detest the ground they walk on.
Today. 'Crapfest Magazine' can exclusively that Katie Price has found new love with...
The worlds leading Psychologists today released a report stating that walking may be bad for your mental health. This shocking 600 page document is based on recent interviews given by former Astronaut Edgar Mitchell. Mitchell was part of the 1971 Apo...
Reminiscent of the rising fuel costs and the seizing of the credit markets in 2008, coupled with the stock market plunge of early 2009, airlines have been faced with many difficult financial issues. The recession that began in early 2008 has clearly...
Barry Bonds and his beauty of a wife, Liz Watson, are reportedly splitting up. This is according to several showbiz internet sites and radio sports talk that are reporting that Watson has already filed for a legal separation.
Bonds, as every base...
The recent suicide/accident of popular actor David Carradine has led to a rash of calls on the Suicide Watch Line and after more than 10,000 calls, responder Doctor James Houchins says "They may be right."
"You look around at this country with ten...
Pyongyang N. Korea (FTB newswire) Next month world leaders will gather in Istanbul Turkey for the redundant Global Conference on Global Warming 2009. Notably absent will be Kim Jong Il of North Korea. Jong Il, dictator for life, of the world's newes...
As Harry finished his homework for the day, writing an essay about the importance of saving gender awareness whales from being harpooned by sarcastic satirists, the telephone rang, and it was his girlfriend Hermione on the line.
'Come round to my place now, Harry!', she said, 'an evil warlock has been spotted in my garden!', for she lived in Downing Street in Westminster, and soon the pair were...
A 7-year-old schoolboy had the 'find of his life' when he discovered no less than a 7-leafed clover.
Alexander Burns was skiving from school when he took his dog for a walk with his father, a poacher, on private land adjacent to a nature reserve a...
A series of catastrophic failures and defeats in a never ending sequence of ineptitude continues to dog British sports, ultimating in a shameful defeat by Holland (who? Do they play cricket anyway?!).
Newly appointed Sports Minister Skoob 1999 has...
As vile, embarrassing BNP leader Nick Griffin attempted to act as if he is a real political leader, and has anything to do with 99.9% of the British people's views and attitudes, he received that ultimate British political sign of being despised, and...
According to a Dr. Perford Fong at MYN University in Rockport, Illinois, the common chicken nugget passes though a person's body with very little change.
"After entering through the mouth, past the flapping tongue and going into the esophagus, the...
London, UK - As the result of a failed cooking show outside parliament featuring chef Jamie Oliver and vegetarian advocate Heather Mills-McCartney, BNP leader Nick Griffin pelted with eggs outside Parliament, having been caught in the crossfire betwe...
In a change to his normal recent behaviour, outspoken former Chat show host Michael 'Parky' Parkinson has remained silent.
Following recent out-bursts about things that should not concern him, the friend of Sting, Katie Melua, Miss Piggy, and Bill...
Washington, DC - The office of Homeland Security issues the following directive to states bordering on Canada.
FACT: Geese originating from Canada caused the near disaster of flight US Airways 1549.
FACT: The border of Canada and the U.S. is po...
The International Air Transport Association, at a highly secret unpublicised public meeting in Upper Kalskag, Alaska, today announced a world-wide policy to protect the public from the dreaded SWINE FLU VIRUS.
Speaking at a press conference after...
As Sherlock Holmes came to in the Musician's' Ward in St. Paddington's hospital, in Darkest Belgravia, he was for a second puzzled about his whereabouts. 'Watson', he said to that doctor, who was examining the chest of a female nurse in the corner of the room, 'stop what you're doing, we need to get back to finding Moriarty.'
'But Holmes', Dr Watson said, as the girl put her blouse back on, 'su...
After Captain "Sully" Sullenberger's amazing landing in the Hudson River earlier this year, he has been on every news network and several talk shows plus there's even talk of a book and/or movie.
Many were afraid that several more pilots would try...
London - (Sorcerer's Apprentice Ass Mess): "Yeah, kinda prescient 70s hunch I guess," was Mick Jagger's comment today following the announcement that Sir Alan Sugar had been appointed official government smack dealer to the unruly.
"Sure, ya gotta...
Major decided to get a better feeling of what had actually happened to his poor uncle, so gave the man enough rope to play until the woman said, " Yusef can you teach me wife donkey riding?'
Now, Major's adrenaline level reached its peak, but self-controlled himself so that his long awaited plan would not be jeopardized; therefore, he, as calmly as he could, said, "Yes. Let me put on my shoes."...
Foreign Secretary David Millipede has announced a radical shakeup of international policy, following a recent conversation with James Naughtie on the 'Today' programme.
Announcing the new policy, Mr Millipede said that the new approach signified '...
Scientists have manufactured a material which they claim is the hardest substance ever known or created by mankind, according to reports today.
Scientists at St Anal's College Oxford created the material, which they believe has significant potenti...
U.S. oil companies showed true patriotism this week as they committed to their traditional summertime raising of gas prices at a time of great recession and economic difficulties. As millions struggled with layoffs, high debts, foreclosures and unemp...
Pop star Mariah Carey is bragging about how much she has been ramming down her maw while making her latest album.
The soon to be released Full Piehole has inspired Carey to cram her gush with more bulk than she usually puts up her tush.
When...
David Carradine as the wise martial arts guru of the old hit show Kung Fu taught his disciple Grasshopper many valuable life lessons about grabbing rounded stones from the palm of the master, defending the innocent and the defenseless with pointy sti...
After Survivor, Big Bother, Millionaire and Dance, Sing, Puke and Shit, most telly critics were predicting that the reality show had run its course. When I'm a celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, Preferably in a Limo hired disgraced Illinois Gov Rod Blago...
This year on Omaha Beach on the blood blessed shores of Normandy, British, French and American veterans of the D-day invasion gathered to memorialize their fallen comrades. What made this year different was not just the presence of Obama, Sarkozy and...
The world of world religions was shocked by the unorthodox practice of the Dalai Lama appointing his own reincarnation. the revolutionary move appears to have been prompted by the Chinese government's refusal to acknowledge the recognized leader of T...