Funny story:  Wacko Jacko's Nose Now New Jewels!

Wacko Jacko's Nose Now New Jewels!

LOS ANGELES, CA, USA Speculation concerning the location of Michael Jackson's missing prosthetic nose ended today when it was revealed to have been in the possession of concert promoters AEG since it disappeared during the autopsy of the late King o...
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Funny story:  UK Oral Sex Inspector Seconded To USA

UK Oral Sex Inspector Seconded To USA

A British based inspector of oral sex practices is to be seconded to the United States in a bid to assist America in its quest to weed out substandard oral sex practices over the Atlantic. Jerry Gobbla will depart the UK from Heathrow tomorrow mo...
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Funny story:  They Call Me Mr........?

They Call Me Mr........?

I really the love media and the public's request for more black male teachers in the classroom. You will immediately put an end to the high numbers of under performing Afro-Caribbean children. You are a symbol of respect and a role model. What I like is the intense level of pressure to be a good teacher, the wonderful lack of support and acidic comments from the support staff. The way...
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Funny story:  Poison to the people

Poison to the people

An investigative journalist Steven Holmes has made the incredible claim that people are being kept under control and poisoned by sodium fluoride which he says has been historically used as a tool to oppress populations. Steven went further and sai...
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Funny story:  World Champion Fudge Packer Admits Hobby Changed Eye Color

World Champion Fudge Packer Admits Hobby Changed Eye Color

Thomas Craig, world famous as the World Champion Fudge Packer, admitted today that his well known brown eyes used to be blue. "I've had so much packed in me that even the color has started to affect me." "I'm thinking about asking Linda Ronstadt...
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Funny story:  Unartistic America - a book review

Unartistic America - a book review

Published quickly on the heels of their book on public scientific literacy, Unscientific America, Chris Mooney and Sheril Kirshenbaum have released their newest book Unartistic America, which tackles the low art literacy in America, it's consequences, and what should be done to change the situation. In a recent Pew poll, only 73 percent of Americans could identify the subject of the Mona Lisa a...
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Funny story:  Top 14 Worst-Selling Books

Top 14 Worst-Selling Books

14. Rabbi Shaker's Big Tips On Circumcision 13. Dr. Seuss: Horton Smells A Fart 12. Chicken Soup For The Kidneys 11. Stephen Hawking's Big Book Of Practical Jokes 10. 101 Ways To Straighten Up And Act Like You Have Some Sense Whether You Do Or Not 9. How To Build A Solar Shithouse 8. The Joey Of Sex 7. Best of The Classic Amish Barn-Raising Limericks 6. 2001 Ways To Get...
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Funny story:  HMS Cunnilingus licked in submarine races

HMS Cunnilingus licked in submarine races

Famed British submarine, HMS Cunniligus, was beaten by the Italian entry, Fellatio, in Wednesday's International Submarine Races held off the Greek coast. "It was the third time this month that the Cunniligus was licked," said Cunnilingus's Comm...
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Funny story:  Amy's a Closet Coke Clepto, Claims Ex!

Amy's a Closet Coke Clepto, Claims Ex!

NYC, NY, USA According to her soon-to-be ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil, British singer, major druggie and full-time idiot Amy Winehouse allegedly stole cocaine from (then) super thin supermodel Kate Moss at a star-studded bash in New York held at...
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Funny story:  Scientists Alarmed As Fat People Evolve Into New Species

Scientists Alarmed As Fat People Evolve Into New Species

New York, NY-- Leading scientists from the acclaimed Gordo Instiute issued an alarming report today regarding overweight people. The scientists noted the morbidly obese have started growing flippers, fins and tails. The scientists believe they coul...
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Funny story:  French Tickler Arrested as Illegal Alien

French Tickler Arrested as Illegal Alien

A French Tickler was arrested in East Sandusky, Ohio, early Wednesday morning, as he attempted to rent an automobile from Hurts Rent-a-Wreck. Police were alerted that a "real weenie, covered in a studded latex condom," was attemting to rent a vehicl...
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Funny story:  Smart ink has mind of its own

Smart ink has mind of its own

Bare Paints has developed a digital ink designed from smart silicone and carbon compounds. Circuits are formed utilizing the available volume of the ink. Surface area is similarly programmable. Plans are in the works for a Neiman Marcus Christm...
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Funny story:  Jon Gosselin Loses Sunglass Tan, No One Recognizes Him

Jon Gosselin Loses Sunglass Tan, No One Recognizes Him

Los Angeles, CA - Back from a whirlwind tour of the underground scene, Jon Gosselin arrived at LAX and complained to his companion, Cutie duJour, that no one was paying any attention to him, including the dozen or so photographers at the paparazz...
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Funny story:  Taylor Swift described as "slow child" says former track coach

Taylor Swift described as "slow child" says former track coach

Ron Paul, Track and Field Coach at Gator Bait High School in Pervert Harbour, Florida, told reporters, Tuesday that country music hottie, Taylor Swift, was "Such a slow runner she couldn't even catch a cold." "When I was coaching Taylor at Wyomiss...
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Funny story:  Romo Vs. Simpson, All-Out War?

Romo Vs. Simpson, All-Out War?

Not only has Tony Romo, star quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys broken up with his girlfriend of two years, Jessica Simpson, but the two have really been going at it with boxing gloves ever since Romo found messages on Simpson's recorder from another...
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Funny story:  ABBA Revival By Party World Company

ABBA Revival By Party World Company

Lebanese indie company Party World Company has signed on to "revive" all-time sensation ABBA's music and work. The company will be setting up a website (the name is still unknown for unknown reasons) that will include the group's bio, music, music...
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Funny story:  Syrup of Figs for Ronnie Biggs

Syrup of Figs for Ronnie Biggs

HMP Belmarsh - (GBH Mess): Great Train robber Ronnie Biggs is being given the works at the Royal Freak Hospital's swine flu unit after being admitted for complications to his offshore bank account pin numbers. Prison governor Dave Screwback told J...
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Funny story:  Local Boys Planning to surprise Schoolmates with 'Big Event'

Local Boys Planning to surprise Schoolmates with 'Big Event'

Local boys Kevin and John have told a local radio show that they have a "big surprise" for their classmates and teachers when they resume school after the summer holidays. The moody boys - who spend much of their time in the woods and watching gay...
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Funny story:  Local Woman Refuses To Answer Any Questions About Relationship With Michael Jackson

Local Woman Refuses To Answer Any Questions About Relationship With Michael Jackson

Local woman Patricia Pinkleton, 49, has refused to answer any questions put to her about an alleged relationship with dead pop icon Michael Jackson. Mrs. Pinkleton, from number 29 Handbury Street, is known locally as somebody who listens to the ra...
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Funny story:  Rihanna Wants To Do A Movie

Rihanna Wants To Do A Movie

Barbados sensation Rihanna is without any doubt one of today's biggest hit-makers. Off of one album, she spawned five smash hits. She's sick of music and wants to "desperately" do a movie! "I've been touring and working so hard lately on my Good-G...
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Funny story:  Dryer and Sock Manufacturers Reach Agreement

Dryer and Sock Manufacturers Reach Agreement

After months of bickering, major manufacturers and distributors of socks reached an agreement with major clothes dryer makers over the commission percentage of socks eaten by dryers. "We are indispensable to the sock industry", said Maytag spokesp...
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Funny story:  Local Man Fury Over Missing Fred Astaire Film Festival

Local Man Fury Over Missing Fred Astaire Film Festival

Local man Hugh Ryan was furious with rage after arriving at his local cinema and discovering that he was 50 years late for a Fred Astaire-themed film festival. Mr. Ryan arrived in full swanky regalia of top hat, coat and tails, but upon entering t...
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Funny story:  France Declares War on US...Immediately Surrenders...Requests US Aid to Rebuild Shattered Economy

France Declares War on US...Immediately Surrenders...Requests US Aid to Rebuild Shattered Economy

France declared war upon the United States, Wednesday, surrendered unconditionally, and requested US financial aid to rebuild its devastated economy-all within ninety seconds. A humbled Sarkosky signed the instrument of surrender before United Natio...
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Funny story:  Notts County Announce Massive Fall In Season Ticket Sales

Notts County Announce Massive Fall In Season Ticket Sales

Notts County, who last week secured the services of the former England manager Sven-Goran Eriksson as Director of Football, have announced the rather depressing news that season ticket sales for the coming campaign are at a record low. County, the...
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Funny story:  'The Adventures of Charles the Royal Bear', by Memory Dawned

'The Adventures of Charles the Royal Bear', by Memory Dawned

As darkness fell in dreariest England, people began heading home from their work for their dinners, some on buses and some on trains. But in one railway station in the centre of the city of London, a strange sight could be seen, for sitting all alone on a suitcase was a small royal bear, with a sign saying 'Please look after this royal. Thank you.' But all the people were so busy heading home t...
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Funny story:  New Twilight Screen Play By Pattinson, Myers In The Works?

New Twilight Screen Play By Pattinson, Myers In The Works?

The rumor that ran through the crowd at the San Diego Comic Con is beginning to take shape. Although Twilight stars Pattinson, Stewart and Lautner were the screaming highlight for the weekend blow-out, a rumor began going through the audience abou...
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Funny story:  President Barack Obama's White House Beer Party

President Barack Obama's White House Beer Party

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama invited Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr., and Sgt. James Crowley of the Cambridge Police Department to partake in a good-old fashioned, good ol' boy, "Beer Party." A White House spokesperson stated that t...
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Funny story:  Parliament to vote on Obama's proposal:  Will UK become 51st US state?

Parliament to vote on Obama's proposal: Will UK become 51st US state?

Parliament announced today that it will vote Friday on US President Barak Obama's surprise proposal to accept the United Kingdom as the 51st state of the United States of America. Liberal MP, Ron Paul VII, told reporters gathered outside 10 Downing...
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Funny story:  Police find tongue out perverts

Police find tongue out perverts

Interplod today uncovered a massive international pervert ring involving millions of people worldwide. Details are vague so far but one insider who spoke annonymously said ''we've found evidence of postage stamp licking on an unprecedented scale''.
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Funny story:  Cash for Concubines

Cash for Concubines

Washington, DC - The Obama Administration has just announced yet another way to spend millions of our tax dollars on bailouts that will surely invite the most corrupt to take advantage. One such bailout program, "Cash for Concubines" is aimed at...
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Funny story:  Scientists: Swine Flu Placebos Mutating

Scientists: Swine Flu Placebos Mutating

A stern warning has been issued from the United Nations World Health Organization today that the placebo used in testing the Swine Flu vaccine on volunteers has led to the mutating of many placebos. "I got the Swine Mumps", says one volunteer for...
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Funny story:  Ridiculed al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade up in arms over "Bruno" film

Ridiculed al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade up in arms over "Bruno" film

The al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade is said to be furious over Sacha Baron-Cohen's portrayal of them in his film "Bruno". Their leader, Ali Bingo, brother of Mecca Bingo and a chap with a beard, imitation Ray Ban glasses from China and a tea towel on his...
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Funny story:  Historical Marker Relocation Perplexing National Park Service

Historical Marker Relocation Perplexing National Park Service

Historical markers are generally placed at sites where something significant happened in the past. Often, they mark places where famous people lived or died or historical events occured. Generally, the National Park Service is responsible for placi...
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Funny story:  BuckwheatsButt Experiences 4-Hour Erection WITHOUT Male Enhancement Drug!

BuckwheatsButt Experiences 4-Hour Erection WITHOUT Male Enhancement Drug!

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - While dropping off his latest spoof about gay-ass fudge packers at the pool, The Spoof's reigning champion of toilet humor reportedly became so aroused, he experienced an erection lasting more than four hours! Prostate speciali...
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Funny story:  More Expenses for Corrupt Bastards

More Expenses for Corrupt Bastards

Despite public anger over MPs expenses claims of up to £200,000 a year from everything from garden gnomes to thoroughbred racehorses the law is to be changed to make it even easier for them to claim even more expenses of up to £500,000 a year. Th...
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Funny story:  Amy Winehouse Prefers "Iced Tea With Cocaine And Cayenne", Shoots Lipton Commercial

Amy Winehouse Prefers "Iced Tea With Cocaine And Cayenne", Shoots Lipton Commercial

In a still unpublished interview with Us Weeklie Magazie, soul songstress Amy Winehouse explains what her favorite drink is: iced tea with cocaine and cayenne! She said it "makes [her] feel so good she forgets that alcohol is good or drugs are nice o...
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Funny story:  Man Marries Fat, Juicy Turd In Civil Wedding

Man Marries Fat, Juicy Turd In Civil Wedding

San Francisco, CA-- An unidentified man married a beautiful, juicy turd at City Hall today. The turd was described as 'radiant' and 'joyful' and there were many brown tears of happiness. A last minute attempt to stop the wedding by Republicans and...
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Funny story:  Palin resigns to escape dark

Palin resigns to escape dark

Vice Presedential Candidate Sarah Palin has resigned as Governor of Alaska 18 months before the end of her term in office. It is believed she did not want to go through another period of six months being kept in the dark. Alaska has 6 months of d...
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Funny story:  Berlusconi: I'm The Man Behind the Obama Presidency!

Berlusconi: I'm The Man Behind the Obama Presidency!

Rome, Italy/ Entertainment News - Italy's Renaissance man, 73 year old Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi modestly announced today that he was the straw that stirred the Obama Political Cocktail that has been responsible for America's rise in VUI ( vot...
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Funny story:  Conservative Bias Exposed in Spoof Print Media

Conservative Bias Exposed in Spoof Print Media

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Conservative bias has trickled all the way down to spoofs and satire, according to a study conducted by the San Francisco Onion over the past few months. Results seem to indicate it's okay to make fun of Michael Jackson at The...
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Funny story:  Seven arrested in USA on terrorism charges

Seven arrested in USA on terrorism charges

Seven people were arrested and appeared in court today on terrorism charges. The seven arrested were all dwarfs including Doc, Grumpy, Bashful, Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy and Dopey. Doc was first in the dock followed by the others. Grumpy was furious t...
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Funny story:  Dr. Conrad Murray Takes Near-Lethal Dose of Propofol

Dr. Conrad Murray Takes Near-Lethal Dose of Propofol

HOUSTON, TX - Michael Jackson's personal physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, self-administered the powerful anesthetic propofol in an amount that nearly killed him today, said a source close to the investigation of the singer's death. The Texas-based ca...
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Funny story:  Katie Price At Parental Advice Clinic

Katie Price At Parental Advice Clinic

Katie Price (aka as Jordan or Booberella) and one-time singer Peter Andre were once the toast of British Chav society and their love seemed as eternal as that of equally class act Jack Tweed and Jade Goody. Katie herself once said, "I would wait or s...
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Funny story:  Man Tries to Help the Environment

Man Tries to Help the Environment

To the Editor of the Los Angeles Times: The other day a nice lady on the radio said "a person could help the environment and save energy by planting an organic garden, raising their own animals and buying only local produce." I wanted to do my part so I took action. I have ripped up my lawn both front and back, to grow my own vegetables. I have additional designer vegetable pots hanging fr...
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Funny story:  Personal Robots - The Great Prophet Nostradumbass

Personal Robots - The Great Prophet Nostradumbass

The Great Prophet Nostradumbass predicts that 180 years from now people will have their own personal robot or even robots to do chores for them. The robots will be human looking and will have human voices and not the robotic tone voice as envisaged by Sci Fi writers of today. Even the eyes and the hair on the robot will look so realistic that it may take you sometime to realise whether you...
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Funny story:  Martians & Moonies - The Great Prophet Nostradumbass

Martians & Moonies - The Great Prophet Nostradumbass

The Great Prophet Nostradumbass predicts that 200 years from now humans will have settled on Mars & the Moon. The atmosphere in each case will be altered to suit humans and cities and towns will be established on the Moon & Mars. People born on Mars and the Moon will not be earthlings they will be Martians and Moonies.
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Funny story:  Deranged Redneck Spoof Writer Blows Up San Francisco Onion Headquarters

Deranged Redneck Spoof Writer Blows Up San Francisco Onion Headquarters

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - A less than regular contributor to The Spoof known as Morse drove a Yellow Rider truck full of explosives to California late last night and blew up the San Francisco Onion's home office. Security cameras caught site of the vitr...
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Funny story:  Tit-for-tat missile tests by Pakistan and India: is South Asia fragmenting?

Tit-for-tat missile tests by Pakistan and India: is South Asia fragmenting?

[Al-Nakhli, New Delhi, July 28]: India has expressed 'disappointment' with Pakistan after the latter test-fired its deadly new 'Lamba Tulla' missile - a variant of the North Korean Long-Dong missile - on 27 July. Initial reports indicate that the...
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Funny story:  Vampires Union Protests Recent Hollywood Portrayals For "Douche Bias"

Vampires Union Protests Recent Hollywood Portrayals For "Douche Bias"

With the runaway success at both the box office and bookshelves of the "Twilight" series and the critical buzz surrounding HBO's TV series "True Blood," vampires are enjoying a new heyday in Hollywood not seen since a run of vampire films in the 1970...
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Funny story:  Police Officers Demand Bulletproof Undies

Police Officers Demand Bulletproof Undies

After years of continuing advancement in lighter and lighter bulletproof vests, police are now asking that an effort be made towards the development of the bulletproof undies that never chaff. "For the past 30 years the Kevlar vests we use almost...
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