Funny story:  Twat Nav Causes Cotswold Chaos

Twat Nav Causes Cotswold Chaos

A Cotswold village was cut off from the outside world for over a week because of a stranded lorry. The driver was misdirected through the village of Snide by his vehicles Twat Nav. The system is a cheap navigation device developed in Turkmenistan.
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Funny story:  The Spoof Bucks Trend, Announces It's Moving to Print Media to Fill Void Left By Hundreds of Failed Iconic Rags!

The Spoof Bucks Trend, Announces It's Moving to Print Media to Fill Void Left By Hundreds of Failed Iconic Rags!

Dubai, UAE, / News from Economic Journalistic Summit - Following close on the heels of US Journalistic news that he Rocky Mountain News was closing its doors after 150 years of journalistic excellence, that Hearst's San Francisco Chronicle was not f...
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Funny story:  Nelly the Elephant returns to the circus

Nelly the Elephant returns to the circus

In a move which has angered animal rights activists Nelly the Elephant returned to the Big Top tonight. Twenty years ago Nelly packed her trunk and said goodbye to the circus. She was answering a call made by the head of the herd, far far away. H...
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Funny story:  Celebrity Chef's Restaurant Closed In Poisoning Scare

Celebrity Chef's Restaurant Closed In Poisoning Scare

Chef Harry Bummitall has had to close one of his restaurants following several customer complaints. 'The Fat Fuck' in the picturesque Cotswold village of Boil-on the-Bum closed this morning. Several customers had been taken ill. They suffered vom...
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Funny story:  Hull City Manager Refuses To Give Up On Top Four Spot

Hull City Manager Refuses To Give Up On Top Four Spot

Hull City manager Phil Brown has spoken to journalists in an interview before Sunday's vital Premier League clash with Blackburn Rovers at the KC Stadium, and says he has refused to give up on a top four finish for the Tigers. Hull, who have not w...
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Funny story:  Obama - "Area 51 - Open All Hours!"

Obama - "Area 51 - Open All Hours!"

Honouring his pre election promise to break down red tape and state secrecy President Barack Obama is to officially announce that Area 51 is to be opened to the public by July 2009. Not only will Area 51 be opened to the world but it will become t...
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Funny story:  St David's Day doomsday shocker

St David's Day doomsday shocker

London - (Armageddinouttahere! Mess): Biblical prophecy onanists have warned the transit of two-tailed Comet Lulin hails a terrible end for the Hellfire Club puppet monarch's reign this Sunday. "The comet augurs the fake dynasty matriarch choking...
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Funny story:  Budget Airline May Charge For Toilet Use

Budget Airline May Charge For Toilet Use

Europe's largest budget airline, might start charging passengers for using the toilet while flying, it was announced on Friday. "One thing we have looked at in the past and are looking at again is the possibility of maybe putting a coin slot on t...
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Funny story:  Cops issue CCTV images in hunt for Radioactive perv

Cops issue CCTV images in hunt for Radioactive perv

London - (ReUterus & Toxic Ass Mess): Police hunting a dangerously 'radioactive' absconder from a child porn court case have issued CCTV images of the main suspect and his accomplice. The dastardly duo are pictured spreading toxic fecal matter...
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Funny story:  Sweet maker adapts to changes

Sweet maker adapts to changes

The makers of small rubbery indigestible sweets for 4-year-olds, have been hit hard by a shortage of raw materials in the credit crunch. Latex from Malaysia and Thailand has become 300% dearer in the last year, so the manufacturers are looking at...
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Funny story:  UK retailers forced to reduce prices

UK retailers forced to reduce prices

British retailers, including Carpetright and DFS have had to drasticaly reduce prices to keep going through the credit crunch. DFS have introduced a buy-now, pay-in-one-year credit-free scheme for sofas already reduced 50%. Carpetright have had t...
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Funny story:  Ryanair man to charge for access to house

Ryanair man to charge for access to house

A Ryanair employee is thinking of charging his wife £1 each time she uses the toilet in his house. He says the charge is necessary to keep down the cost of flushing. The employee says he is also planning to introduce pay as you go charges for the...
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Funny story:  American Idol's "Legs Girl" Told To Walk

American Idol's "Legs Girl" Told To Walk

LOS ANGELES - Jeanine Vailes, the bartender whose wardrobe consists of 17 denim short shorts was told by the "American Idol" voters to head on back to the bar as fast as her much-publicized legs will take her. Both Paula (Abdul) and Simon (Cowell)...
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Funny story:  The Phoenix Coyotes Are Moving To Greenland

The Phoenix Coyotes Are Moving To Greenland

PHOENIX - The Phoenix Coyotes of the National Hockey League have announced that they will be moving north, way up north to Sukkertoppen, Greenland after the 2009 season. Co-owners of the Coyotes Jerry Moyes and Wayne Gretzky are upset at the team'...
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Funny story:  Universe Ends. Dow Jones Rises 50% On News.

Universe Ends. Dow Jones Rises 50% On News.

(New York-NY) The universe officially ended today, but in a surprising reaction the Dow Jones average rose fifty-percent. Its highest gain in, since time no longer exists those details were unavailable as of this writing. The fifty-percent gain p...
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Funny story:  Jade Goody Sexy Page 3 Picture Exclusive

Jade Goody Sexy Page 3 Picture Exclusive

Jade Goody, the former Big Brother contestant who was married to criminal Jack Tweed this week, is in the news again, after it was announced the News of the World have bought exclusive rights to publish her raunchy portfolio of sexy topless photograp...
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Funny story:  American Idol's Male Version of Tatiana Del Toro Eliminated

American Idol's Male Version of Tatiana Del Toro Eliminated

LOS ANGELES - Nick Mitchell and his alter ego Norman Gentle were both eliminated from "American Idol." The 27-year-old Mitchell sang "And I Am Telling You I Am Not Going" after which judge Simon Cowell said, "Oh you're going. Bet me Buckwheat. You...
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Funny story:  Batman Laid Off As Recession Hits Gotham City

Batman Laid Off As Recession Hits Gotham City

The depth of the recession in the US became even clearer today with the news that Gotham City has despensed with the services of Batman. The caped crusader, who has been on payroll of the city's police department since the late 1960s was given the...
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Funny story:  O.J.Simpson, Cellmate Announce Engagement

O.J.Simpson, Cellmate Announce Engagement

O.J. Simpson and his cellmate, Ernest "The Slasher" Belcher would like to announce their engagement as of this past Wednesday. The proposed marriage will depend on whether California ever passes their law or not. While most people know the famou...
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Funny story:  Antique chair breaks all records

Antique chair breaks all records

An antique chair belonging to French fashion designer Eve Saint Lawrence broke all records at an auction held in Scunthorpe earlier today. The chair, made from wood, complete with wooden finish, was used by Saint Lawrence to sit in when she used t...
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Funny story:  Greece Used To Push Olives Up The Lesbos Agenda

Greece Used To Push Olives Up The Lesbos Agenda

The Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has put pressure on the Greek government to increase the production of olives on the island of Lesbos. Lesbos has traditionally been a major grower of olives and Italy has come to rely on them for use in...
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Funny story:  Holocaust Row Bishop In New Storm

Holocaust Row Bishop In New Storm

Bishop Richard Williamson who recently caused widespread controversy with his views on the holocaust found himself embroiled in a new row when he commented that he was not a firm believer in Jesus. In a conversation overheard in the Dog and Duck i...
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Funny story:  Freddie Flintstone Injury Hell

Freddie Flintstone Injury Hell

England all rounder Freddie Flintstone is out of the rest of the test series against West Indies. He suffered a back injury picking up his wallet following payment by the Indian plenty plenty league. "I felt a strain, but no twinge of guilt" said Fli...
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Funny story:  Teen queen, Brenda Song & Rob Pattinson Dating

Teen queen, Brenda Song & Rob Pattinson Dating

Brenda and Rob, both 20, are set to star in the upcoming indie film, Burning Star. The pair have been seen on a date and apparently, they been seeing each other for several months. The pair reportedly wear matching rings, and have kept their relat...
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Funny story:  Jessica Simpson Loses Three Pounds

Jessica Simpson Loses Three Pounds

LOS ANGELES - Jessica Simpson appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and cheerfully announced to Ellen that she had lost three pounds. Ellen told her that she was proud of her and she added that she could not believe the shit storm hoopla that the...
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Funny story:  Bowkers Last Supper

Bowkers Last Supper

The cockerel crows and the ghoul has arisen. It's the last supper for the East Coast Main Line Crucified Richard Bowker is a graduate of the Richard Branson school of management but with none of the aptitude. Flitting from job to job and leavin...
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Funny story:  Midget Punches Man in Testicle

Midget Punches Man in Testicle

Dublin - Midget boxer Shaun McFlane was arrested for taking his craft to the streets on the weekend and repeatedly punching Eric O'Donough in the testicle. Both parties were at Markham's gym when the altercation occured. Mr. O'Donough had paused t...
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Funny story:  NASA Demands A $13 Billion Bailout

NASA Demands A $13 Billion Bailout

CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida - The Assistant Director of NASA, Bradford Ian Friendfield, has written a letter to President Barack Obama demanding that the United States government provide the NASA space program with $13 billion. Friendfield said that b...
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Funny story:  Radioactive Paedophile On The Run

Radioactive Paedophile On The Run

A radioactive paedophile is on the run in Ireland. Don Ewin, former principal at Selafield College of Nuclear Physics, is thought to have fled to the Emerald Isle once he started to feel the heat. He is wanted for suspected counts of child pornograph...
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Funny story:  The Jonas Brothers Take New York By Storm

The Jonas Brothers Take New York By Storm

While the Jonas Brothers made their way through New York City last week to work the TV talk-show circuit and show up at the TV networks, an army of young female fans awaited them at every stop. In the grand tradition of the Beatles in their day, f...
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Funny story:  Economic & Moral  Malaise Spills Over to Noted Spoof Writers: Angst, Sexual Dysfunction, Lack of Self Esteem Run Rampant!

Economic & Moral Malaise Spills Over to Noted Spoof Writers: Angst, Sexual Dysfunction, Lack of Self Esteem Run Rampant!

Glastonbury,UK/ Somewhere Adrift in the Mist of Uncertainty - Continued anxiety over the deterioration of the World's fast spreading virus of moral bankruptcy, has now spilled over to the Bastion of the World's Last Chance for Hope: the ever dimini...
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Funny story:  Airlines Tax Relief: Flyers Inconvenienced

Airlines Tax Relief: Flyers Inconvenienced

A budget airline is considering charging for the use of the toilets on its flights. Ryanair has said that it may introduce a £1 charge for using the in-flight toilets. They say this will be a standing charge and it will be £2 if you want to be se...
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Funny story:  Evangeline Lilly Not Leaving Lost!

Evangeline Lilly Not Leaving Lost!

Since there's not been a scandal for three whole days about LOST, this is good news to most of it's fans. In case you haven't heard, the Hollywood Vinewine is now reporting that "Lost" star Evangeline Lilly has auditioned for fall pilots and that...
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Funny story:  Sir Paul steps out with new all wooden girlfriend

Sir Paul steps out with new all wooden girlfriend

Former Beatle Sir Paul McCartney has been seen out and about this week with a mysterious woman, and his agent has confirmed that he and Victoria Woodentop, 39, are in fact a couple. Victoria, a sales executive for a lumber company, lost her limbs,...
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Funny story:  Maxwell Man Completes Steinbeck Novel

Maxwell Man Completes Steinbeck Novel

Sitting at his favorite booth at the Hoot N' Holler restaurant and drinking his sixth cup of Joe, local farmer/carpenter Buddy "Arthur" Joe Brooks looks as normal and well-adjusted as can be. Yet, there's more to this 49-year-old than first meets the...
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Funny story:  Airline in Mile High Bog Rip Off Storm

Airline in Mile High Bog Rip Off Storm

Economy airline Brianair is today counting the cost of its plans to charge passengers to use the toilet on board. The plan-£1 for a piss and £5 for a shit-proved extremely unpopular. Billy Nomates spoke of his shock "I always travel with them bec...
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Funny story:  Economy Airline to Charge for Oxygen

Economy Airline to Charge for Oxygen

Brianair, the cheap airline, is considering further cost-cutting measures to keep their business running quite literally on a shoestring budget. One of the measures being considered is to give passengers an oxygen tank each and to charge them for...
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Funny story:  Abstinence Program Giving Chimps Blue Balls

Abstinence Program Giving Chimps Blue Balls

Seattle, Washington - A new government program designed to encourage abstinence among primates has spread the dreaded teenage ailment "Blue balls" to chimps. The World Wildlife Fund, the organization originally pushing for the program has now admitte...
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Funny story:  Irn Bru Banned in England

Irn Bru Banned in England

In a move indicative of a widening gap between Scottish and English law, the British Government today introduced a law which bans Irn Bru from sale in England. Ministers point out that if Scotland can take unilateral decisions along these lines, the...
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Funny story:  Jennifer Aniston: I'm "still over Brad"

Jennifer Aniston: I'm "still over Brad"

Jennifer Aniston, ex-wife of Brad Pitt, has said that she is "still over" him. In a short interview with The Spoof, she said: "It's long over between me and him. And I'm over him. Still over him. "I saw him at the Oscars the other night, but th...
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Funny story:  Arse about Facebook

Arse about Facebook

Facebook has completely changed its mind about how to control access to its users' information. It says a user will now have full control and will be able to access all information and delete it if required. The user they are talking about is a M...
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Funny story:  A DESPERATE plea to all of you out there

A DESPERATE plea to all of you out there

My dear dear friends, I pray that God finds you and keeps you in good health. I communicate this email to you to say that I am not sharing the same luck. Last week a sum of money due to be transferred into my account was seized by the banking authorities who said they needed it for the financial crisis they were in. This money was supposed to feed my family which I have managed to get ve...
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Funny story:  Brighton Homocycles in fights with 'Dikes on Bikes'

Brighton Homocycles in fights with 'Dikes on Bikes'

Brighton solves urban congestion problem by introducing 'Homocycles'. 'Tug' Buttman head of transport services at Brighton City council claimed that, "We have bicycles, tricycles, and hetero cycles and felt compelled to introduce the Homocycle in ord...
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Funny story:  New ITV detective drama: Brum

New ITV detective drama: Brum

ITV bosses have spotted an area of crime drama that they have yet to cover, and are moving quickly to fill the gap. With the rest fo the British Isles covered, from PC Plum in the Shetlands, to Bergerac in the Channel Islands, there is not an area...
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Funny story:  British Teenie Humpers Hit The Mark 50% More than their Elders

British Teenie Humpers Hit The Mark 50% More than their Elders

No one quite comprehends how it is that a 13 year old boy from Hackneye can fertilze his 15 year old squeeze and mature and well developed British males can't get their fertile and very feminine fully grown ladies with child. Puritan party lead...
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Funny story:  Feb 26 - St Gabriel, Patron of Masochists

Feb 26 - St Gabriel, Patron of Masochists

Orphaned ay four, ravaged by every disease known to man before puberty, Gabriel decided that he would dedicate his life to the god who had been so good to him. The jesuits ask him if he was out of his mind and sent him to the Passionists, a religious order that was famous for accepting candidates who were out of their minds. Gabriel of Our Lady of sorrows quickly rose throught he ranks of the...
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Funny story:  Scot Sir Fred Claims Purse Moths Have Consumed his £16M Pension

Scot Sir Fred Claims Purse Moths Have Consumed his £16M Pension

The Royal national bank has lost 24 billion this last year under the leadership of Sir Fred of Scotland. Most of that loss will fall on the broad but weary shoulders of the islanders of John Bull. When Lord Awl Myners realized that Sir Fred was makin...
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Funny story:  British Woman, Winslett Disgraces Nation by Winning at Golden Globe and  Oscars

British Woman, Winslett Disgraces Nation by Winning at Golden Globe and Oscars

Kate Winslett has brought honor to the acting profession of John bull's Island with a Golden Globe for Redemption Road and an Oscar for The Reader or at least one would think so. But the brilliant and buxom star has been under a barrage of criticism...
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Funny story:  Travis Chimpburgers Top Dollar Menu at Zoo Food Court

Travis Chimpburgers Top Dollar Menu at Zoo Food Court

The tragedy of Travis the fourteen year old pet chimpanzee who loved a little merlot with an accountant's liver has been resonating with animal lovers, wine connisseurs and IRS agents. But no one expected that the meat industry would get its opposabl...
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Funny story:  'Survivor' The Bush Legacy - A New Reality Series

'Survivor' The Bush Legacy - A New Reality Series

In this years revised version of the reality series 'Survivor', the new format depicts nations and how they have fared through world changing events. The theme of the first season is 'Survivor- the Bush Legacy' showing how individual nations have...
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Funny story:  Creationists "deny existence of Darwin"

Creationists "deny existence of Darwin"

The recent wars between creationists and Darwinists have reached fever pitch with the recent announcement that creationists have argued that Darwin didn't even exist. Darwinists have refused to respond on the grounds that their opponents are moron...
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