Funny story:  Fr. Francois' Confessional #06

Fr. Francois' Confessional #06

Dear Fr. Francois: I am a 31-year-old plumber from FugginCold, MN. I think of myself as a good Roman Catholic. I am a member of the Knights of Columbus. I have a big sword, too! My problem is that I can't get my wife to perform oral sex on me. She says "It stinks!" What can I do to make oral sex more desirable for her? Signed, Stumped Dear Stumped: Take a fucking bath once in...
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Funny story:  Harry and Victor Patch Update

Harry and Victor Patch Update

In a further bizarre and unwanted twist the bodies of three Great War veterans are to be exhumed to prove "beyond reasonable doubt" that a 111 year old can indeed just die. A government spokesperson - who did not wish to be identified for fear o...
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Funny story:  Furry Fury:  Dog bites man!

Furry Fury: Dog bites man!

SOD, W.Va.-- In a twist to the old "Man Bites Dog" story, Fermayla Douche, a 21-year-old transsexual, paper "person," was severely bitten by Cujo, a Rat Terrier, while delivering TheSpoof.com, Sunday morning. He was air lifted to Matewan General Del...
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Funny story:  Top 15 Job Openings Out There

Top 15 Job Openings Out There

Top 15 Jobs Still Available: 15. Boa Constrictor Neuterer 14. Limburger Cheesemaker 13. Obama's Official Tail Wiper 12. Actuary 11. Fart Analyst 10. Circus Freak 9. Sperm Collector 8. Restroom Janitor at the Big Chili Cookoffs 7. Stuntman for Suicide Bombers 6. McDonald's Employee 5. Tyson Chicken Chaser 4. Buzzard Feeder 3. Calendar Photographer For M...
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Funny story:  Hughes Swoops For Pulis

Hughes Swoops For Pulis

Manchester City boss Mark Hughes today confirmed that he is looking to make an innovative leap in the transfer market by signing Stoke City boss Tony Pulis on a long term contract. "This is the first step of my new plan to dominate the Premier Le...
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Funny story:  Test Match Special to have more sex appeal

Test Match Special to have more sex appeal

One of Britain's best loved insitutions - Test Match Special - has been told it needs to modernise and appeal to a wider audience. In a memo circulated today, the commentators have been given the following new guidelines to make the show more appe...
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Funny story:  The Obama Health Care Plan Exposed

The Obama Health Care Plan Exposed

The Obama Health Care Plan, which is set for a Congressional Vote after the end of summer vacations, is over 1500 pages long and is written in very small print size technical legalesse. Researchers at the Houston School of Linguistics, however, have...
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Funny story:  Lethal injection fried Jackson

Lethal injection fried Jackson

Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): A heady cocktail of whorse-doping agent ketamine, the ultra-short acting barbityrate sodium thiopental, popular Bel Air paralytic pancuronium bromide and a maintenance dose of potassium chloride has been found by Michael Jac...
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Funny story:  Michael Jackson was pregnant Mohammed Al Fayed tells press

Michael Jackson was pregnant Mohammed Al Fayed tells press

London - (Reuterus): Just hours before his death Michael Jackson phoned Mohammed Al Fayed to say he'd missed a period and was pregnant with Dodi's baby. The Harrabs boss's statement today confirmed what everyone had long suspected, anyway, but ha...
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Funny story:  Ceekaii Tells all

Ceekaii Tells all

Budding Actress Ceekaii today revealed all about how much she ispires to be a successful actress in the industry. A normal kid from Scotland who has dreams of being the future of films and television series. Jakki : So tell us Ceekaii what was it like for you growing up ? Ceekaii: Well, pretty normal actually. I lived in a normal house, normal street, attended a very normal school with othe...
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Funny story:  Tom Felton Gets New Girl

Tom Felton Gets New Girl

Today it emerged that actor Tom Felton has a little bit of real magic in his life in the form of new girlfriend Ceekaii. The stunning unknown has been spotted out with the actor on several occasions. She is said to be a dancer but hopes one day to be...
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Funny story:  Bait Shop Holds Take a Kid Fishing Day

Bait Shop Holds Take a Kid Fishing Day

San Francisco, CA.-The Fulton Street Bait Shop, located on the fishing pier at Harbor Point, is holding it's annual "Take a Kid Fishing Day" sale this coming Saturday. There will be lots of eager children just waiting for the chance to catch that big...
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Funny story:  "The Beer Summit Four" To Film A Beer Commercial

"The Beer Summit Four" To Film A Beer Commercial

NEW YORK CITY - President Barack Obama, Vice-President Joe Biden, Professor Henry Louis Gates, and Police Officer James Crowley have all agreed to film a beer commercial for Coors Light Beer. The gentlemen known collectively as "The Beer Summit Fo...
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Funny story:  Kenya Declares Obama Birthplace A National Monument

Kenya Declares Obama Birthplace A National Monument

Mudhouse, Kenya-- The nation of Kenya is celebrating the birth of its native son, Barack Obama on August 4th. The struggling, Third World nation will celebrate the event without the 45th President, he's too ashamed of his roots. The birth site is a...
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Funny story:  Byrd wants Bush's ass jailed...Wants LBJ dug up and rekilled

Byrd wants Bush's ass jailed...Wants LBJ dug up and rekilled

CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- Sen. Robert C. Byrd, D-W.Va., introduced Senate legislation on Tuesday to impose fines and/or prison terms on presidents and White House officials who mislead Congress into approving legislation for military interventions. The E...
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Funny story:  David Crosby will donate sperm to Adam Lambert: "So long as he don't spit!"

David Crosby will donate sperm to Adam Lambert: "So long as he don't spit!"

David Crosby is known for donating sperm to homosexuals who want to become pregnant. He donated sperm to "fellow" musician Melissa Etheridge so that she, and "fellow" lesbian partner, at the time, Julie Cypher could have children together. The two...
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Funny story:  Kenny Chesney: "I Did Not Cause Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson's  Breakup"

Kenny Chesney: "I Did Not Cause Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson's Breakup"

NASHVILLE - Country music icon Kenny Chesney told Kuyuki Kamakura, a reporter for Sports Illustrated that he is not the reason that Tony Romo dumped girlfriend Jessica Simpson as some of the national tabloids are erroneously reporting. Chesney adm...
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Funny story:  Sarah Palin: "Folks, I'm Happy, I'm Happy, Please Believe Me, I'm Happy"

Sarah Palin: "Folks, I'm Happy, I'm Happy, Please Believe Me, I'm Happy"

WASILLA, Alaska - Ex-Governor Sarah Palin held a press conference at The Crazy Caribou Bar & Grill in downtown Wasilla to dispel the rumors which have been running rampant that her and husband Todd are getting a divorce. The good-looking 45-ye...
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Funny story:  President Obama Names Hugh Heffner, Bunny Czar

President Obama Names Hugh Heffner, Bunny Czar

At a press conference this morning and still a little hung over from yet another beer summit last night, this one was with the Germans and those people can swill it down, President Obama named Hugh Hefner as the Bunny Czar. "Someone has to look af...
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Funny story:  Gary "Hacker" McKinnon fears for his butt hole as exradition looms nearer!

Gary "Hacker" McKinnon fears for his butt hole as exradition looms nearer!

Deranged Gary "The Hacker" McKinnon has pleaded to the British high court to change their sentence, accept the fact that he is a fucking Loony and let him go to jail in the UK. Hacker (soon to be new "San Quentin Bitch") Gary is so frightened of a...
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Funny story:  Top Ten Cloves:  Newly Discovered Facts of the Prof. Gates - Sgt.Crowley Debacle

Top Ten Cloves: Newly Discovered Facts of the Prof. Gates - Sgt.Crowley Debacle

News Item: The Facts Of The Gates Case 10. Reason Prof. Gates didn't want to step outside was that PBS film crew hadn't set up yet 9. Since the person that made 911 call, and didn't know who he was, a "Meet The Neighbors" block party being planned 8. After Obama statement, Prof. Gates kept running up, standing next to Sgt. Crowley, wearing a "I'm With Stupid" T-Shirt 7. Prof...
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Funny story:  Obama Girls Plan Theme for President's Birthday

Obama Girls Plan Theme for President's Birthday

The daughters of Barack Obama have decided to throw him a themed party for his August 4th birthday. The theme? The Wizard of Oz. With that in mind, what movie related presents will the sisters give their father? Las Vegas oddsmakers are putting the possible gifts at the following odds: A brain (30%) One of the two things he needs most, but probably impossible (even though they might tr...
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Funny story:  The White House Beer Summit: aka The Presidential Leak

The White House Beer Summit: aka The Presidential Leak

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Reporters covering the White House Beer Summit were kept away from the 'Happy Table' by a distance of 50 feet so that they could not hear the conversation between President Barack Obama, Vice-President Joe Biden, Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates, and Sgt. James Crowley. So the president, the vice-president, the policeman, the professor, and Mary Ann all sat around drinking...
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Funny story:  Obama sits on Gates and Crowley

Obama sits on Gates and Crowley

Washington,DC - Sgt. James Crowley of the Cambridge Police department and Professor Henry "Skip" Gates of Harvard sat down with President Obama today in the Oval Office. The following is a transcript of their conversations as released by the White House press office. Obama: Welcome Skip - Welcome Sgt. Crowley. Sgt. Crowley: Thank you Mr. President. Prof. Gates: Thank you Mr. President...
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Funny story:  Israeli police hunt for murderers of thousands of people

Israeli police hunt for murderers of thousands of people

Israeli police were today hunting for murderers that killed thousands of people in one of the worst crimes in modern history. Police Chief Detective Uri Nazi said from Tel-Aviv: 'We are hunting the most despicable and cowardly killers in recent ti...
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Funny story:  Women prefer short, pencil-thin penises

Women prefer short, pencil-thin penises

The truth revealed By Fr, Francois Dubois, S.J. I hold a Doctorate in Divinity; I am not a medical doctor. Regardless, I am regarded as somewhat of an expert in the field of human sexuality, and especially an expert regarding Roman Catholic sexuality. In fact, it was me who counseled the Holy Father, Pope Benedict, to resign as Pontiff in order to marry his lover, Longdongo (see Pope Quits:...
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Funny story:  Britney Spears & Lady GaGa Collaboration!

Britney Spears & Lady GaGa Collaboration!

Legendary pop princesses and bitches Britney Spears and Lady GaGa will be both teaming up to record a new song, a hit (oh yeah!) together! Yay! The song which will be written by Spears and Lady Gaga with the help of big-time producers Richard Viss...
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Funny story:  Palestine to United Nations: "Did You Get That Thing I Sent You"?

Palestine to United Nations: "Did You Get That Thing I Sent You"?

Palestinian leaders announced Friday their disappointment in the United Nations' unanimous decision to abandon the program it had established to trade food and medicine with the rogue state in exchange for disarmament. The decision was reached upon r...
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Funny story:  Fr. Francois' Confessional #05

Fr. Francois' Confessional #05

Note to self: I'd better be exceedingly careful with this chick! Daddy told me to never lose my head over a piece of ass, but, hey, she's hotter than black top on an August afternoon in central-Florida. Dear Sister in Christ: Thank you for returning my collar. I lost it while screwing in a new light bulb in the chanda...chanda...in the light fixture above where you put the dining room...
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Funny story:  Obama Regime Vows to Defend Socialism

Obama Regime Vows to Defend Socialism

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Washington is ready and willing to start a dialogue with Havana, American President Barack Obama said in a press conference Saturday, but warned that "political and regime change are not up for negotiation." "I was elected to de...
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Funny story:  Miguel Karam Turns Down Appearance On 'Hannah Montana'

Miguel Karam Turns Down Appearance On 'Hannah Montana'

One of the most shocking news in the news today is the Miguel Karam-Hannah Montana scandal. Apparently, Lebanese teen act Miguel Karam was invited to make a cameo on the hit Disney Channel sitcom "Hannah Montana" in the show's fourth and final sea...
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Funny story:  Selena Gomez Calls Miley Cyrus "A Pussy, A Real Slut!"

Selena Gomez Calls Miley Cyrus "A Pussy, A Real Slut!"

Disney dolls Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez are at it again but now, it's all because of Selena. The Wizards Of Waverly Place starlet called Miley Cyrus "a pussy, a real slut who doesn't know how to sing or act, put by Disney just like that, publici...
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Funny story:  Study reveals why British women cannot estimate size "for shit"

Study reveals why British women cannot estimate size "for shit"

Sir Isaac Newton wrote, "English women cannot estimate size, for shit!" Scientists throughout the British Isles have been stumped by this phenomenon for seven centuries, if not longer. TheSpoof.com's Skoob1999, an "amateur" cultural anthropologist,...
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Funny story:  Astronauts Take Industrial Action

Astronauts Take Industrial Action

In indubitable news, astronauts on board the International Space Station have launched a sit in for better wages and conditions. They are protesting the lack of due care and concern show by their NASA masters on Earth and are refusing to submit their...
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Funny story:  Danny Williams Wins Booker Prize

Danny Williams Wins Booker Prize

Although it hasn't been announced yet, prolific author Danny Williams is strongly rumoured to be this year's Booker Prize winning author. Danny's book, 'How To Get To The Top Of The Charts Without Really Writing Anything' has been praised by lumin...
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Funny story:  Michael Phelps to Entertain Duff Gardens Visitors

Michael Phelps to Entertain Duff Gardens Visitors

WILLIAMSBURG, VA - Michael Phelps signed a deal with Duff Gardens after he outraced Serbian rival Milorad Cavic to the wall again Saturday in the 100-meter butterfly at the 2009 Championships in Rome, Italy. Both men beat the record of 50.01 seconds...
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Funny story:  Spunky Sperm Wins Marathon Swim After Terrible Ordeal

Spunky Sperm Wins Marathon Swim After Terrible Ordeal

A spunky sperm named Brian today revealed to Spoof.com reporters how he emerged from a horrifyingly traumatic ordeal to emerge as supreme champion in the world's toughest test of swimming endurance. Brian lived on a small planet which was frequent...
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Funny story:  Madonna Wins The Ugliest Female Arms In The World Award

Madonna Wins The Ugliest Female Arms In The World Award

LOS ANGELES - The Society For The Right To Bare Arms has just named Madonna as this year's recipient of The Ugliest Female Arms in The World Award. Society President Ginger Montebudello, 53, said that the singer won 'hands' down. She added that Ma...
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Funny story:  Republicans and Blue Dog Democrats form New Party

Republicans and Blue Dog Democrats form New Party

Washington DC: Following the heated debates over the Health Care Reform bill in both houses of the US Congress, a bipartisan decision was made to realign the American political parties. The Republican and Democratic Party leadership evaluated the...
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Funny story:  Laxative Laced Cupcakes Put Pelosi on Pot

Laxative Laced Cupcakes Put Pelosi on Pot

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and her staff spent the day in the bathroom Friday as Montezuma's Revenge hit with full force. A plate of laxative laced cupcakes delivered by an "anonymous fan" had the Congresswoman and office workers "on the runs...
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Funny story:  Kanye Not King of Pop, Cola and Soda!

Kanye Not King of Pop, Cola and Soda!

NEW YORK,NY, USA Rapper Kanye West issued a strongly worded statement today, addressing his disappointment that he is no longer a serious contender to become the successor to the throne of the late King of Pop, Soda and Cola, Michael Jackson. "I w...
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Funny story:  Gordon Brown in Hiding

Gordon Brown in Hiding

Latest reports confirm that Gordon Brown and the rest of the Cabinet were hiding in a Downing Street cupboard whilst America insisted on having Gary McKinnon dragged off to the US of A to be made an example of. Gordon reacted angrily to the accusa...
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Funny story:  Thought Police Vaporize 1984

Thought Police Vaporize 1984

When Justin Gawronski of Michigan recently turned on his Kindle 2, he was shocked to see the digital copy of George Orwell's "1984" he purchased vanish before his eyes along with all of the notes he took regarding the dangers of totalitarianism. "...
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