The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, made famous by the many stories written about them by this author, are to perform a one-off behind-closed-doors 'show' for one of their all-time biggest fans, the former US Secretary of State, Dr Henry Kissinger.
D...
London UK - There was jubilation in the Tory Party today when recent rumours of a return to politics by Baroness Thatcher were confirmed.
In a surprise visit to the Tory Party conference in Brighton Baroness Thatcher (132) took the podium and conv...
Arsenal 1, Hull City 2 (TWO) - Premiership newcomers Hull City left out experienced players Nick Barmby (58) and Dean Windass (63), opting instead to send out their junior squad featuring players such as Geovanni (13) and Cousin (11).
The tactic p...
Scientists at the John Denver University, West Virginia claim that comics, idiots and half-wits, live on average fifty years longer than the 'serious tossers' of the world.
"Paul Newman is dead"
Professor Pitkin said " the recent death of Paul...
Sources close to the palace have revealed today that HRH Prince Philip (103) has changed his viagra supplier. Not only has he abandoned his prescription supplies from Boots but has insisted on using a foreign generic brand.
HRH has been overheard...
There was more penalty controversy at the JJB Stadium this afternoon as Wigan Athletic overcame their richer and more illustrious opponents, Manchester City, in a thrilling game which saw the Latics run out 2-1 winners.
Valencia and Zaki, from the...
This article was written by Chessie May Doowhistle and will be appearing in the next issue of Housewife Haven & Sanctuary Semi-Monthly Magazine.
GOP vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin has only given four interviews since she was picked by John McCain to be his running mate. The first three interviews were with Charles Gibson, Sean Hannity, and Katie Couric. I am proud to say that I wa...
KARACHI, Pakistan - Pakastani President Asif Ali Zardari has issued a warning to the United States that it had better stay out of Pakastani territory.
"We are tired of the Americans coming over here and acting like they own the damn place." Zarda...
Scientists from West Viginia, Mountain Mamma University, have conclusively proved that 'tabloid journalists' are almost entirely composed of 'scum matter' it was revealed yesterday in the October Journal of British Physiology and Necrology.
"Count...
Washington DC-- Congress was faced with the biggest challenge in generations over the weekend and decided to look away at the last minute. No one wanted to write a check for $700 billion! After a weekend of threats and tears, House Speaker Nancy Pel...
Famous Bear-Baiting TV host Jeremy Kyle is to host the Most Annoying Most Annoying Programmes countdown on BBC Three.
BBC Three has shown a number of these Most Annoying shows, with such topics as Microwave Ovens, Television Couples, Transvestite...
As the first step in its new initiative to popularise cricket in those countries which are unfamiliar with the game, the MCC (Marylebone Cricket Club), which is the sport's governing body, today issued a new, short explanation of the game.
This is intended to clarify the imagined complications that deter many would-be players.
A SHORT EXPLANATION OF CRICKET
A game of Cricket has two team...
In the midst of the recent problems on Wall Street, Barack Obama has experienced a surge in the polls. America, it seems, feels more comfortable with Obama than John Mccain when it comes to handling a financial crisis.
"I definitely will be vot...
FA Man : So Bothroyd, you have requested this personal hearing in relation to the Charge brought against you of Bringing The Game Into Disrepute, directing abusive and/or insulting words towards Head Boy Stuart Attwell, and you had the temerity to question what is clearly a perfectly valid decision made by one of our Prefects Nigel Bannister, I'm sorry Mr Bothroyd, but that's 50 lashes of the Cane...
Health and Safety officials are set to ban the use of anvils in all cartoons.
Mr Christopher Lod from the organisation 'Safety in Cartoons' has issued the statement. 'We at S.I.C would like the complete ban of Anvils from cartoons. We feel that th...
A recent ban on Alans in the Western Hemsiphere has been lifted. The ban, which was only enforced in a number of places has come as a relief to Mr Alan Allen from the Preserving Alans society.
He told us: 'It is something of a relief. I mean it w...
Chicago/Sun Times - Responding to constituents' cries for cash to get through the week, the Presidential Candidate pledged relief by announcing a new chain of pawn shops will open in Major cities in the US backed by a coalition of Democratic Mayors...
A 79 year old Czech Grandmother had a big shock Tuesday last when she found Elvis Presley alive and well in her basement.
She had just started spring cleaning and was searching her lower room for equipment when a light came on and the distinctive...
Indian government officials have announced that the Taj Mahal, a large mausoleum located in Agra, is being turned into the nation's largest McDonalds Restaurant where it will provide Indian pitta bread and pappa dums in place of sesame seed buns and...
Eric Cantona is set to join up with his old Manchester United teammate Mark Hughes at Manchester City in the next few days.
Former Manchester United hero Cantona has been tipped in recent years to one day take-over the managerial throne from Boss...
Washington,DC/ Wall Street Journal - Secretary of the Treasury, Henry Paulson, today proposed a national lottery to dispose of a significant amount of sub prime mortgages in default.
Paulson's plan would mandate that state lotteries no longer use...
Legendary actor, philanthropist, and all-round good guy Paul Newman has died at age 83 from complications due to cancer and clogged arteries as a result of a lifetime of red meat consumption. He was well-known for his classic quip, "Why go out for ha...
According to an inside source (Bruce Mclaren's small intestine), Mclaren bosses blew literally billions of pounds betting on ferret racing in the early hours of this morning. Due to the overwhelming debt that the company bosses have landed themselves...
Congressman Ron Paul singlehandedly resolved the global economic crisis Sunday morning. The former presidential candidate used a little-known clause in the Constitution to take over the government.
"I had enough," said Dr. Paul. "Those idiots have...
Dear AssFrFred$$G:
Will God forgive Henry the Eighth if England gets a Catholic Queen?
GK Chesterton's Lover
Dear Lover, GKCL, that is...
The apostacy of Henry the Eighth will always bee n a grave sin for the Roman Church since the Vatican lost lots of very valuable property including the Holy Grail, Excalibur and StoneHenge. Catholics, British and otherwise have been thirsting for...
Observers were left horrified today as U.S. politician Hilary Clinton exploded.
The 60-year-old Democrat left witnesses shell-shocked after detonating in Washington DC while delivering a speech on health care.
Washington resident and Hulk Hog...
Paul Gascoigne's fans are about to see him like never before - as horror movie villain Freddy Krueger!
The 41-year-old former England International is following fellow footballer and part-time chimney sweep Vinnie Jones into the acting business b...