The Spoof : 16 Sep 2008 spoof news stories

Bank Holds Customers To Ransom

In a turnaround of events, a bank in Oxford Street today held up multi-millionaire businessman Sir Richard Branson. Eyewitnesses said that all was normal until he (Sir Richard) reached the front of the queue, when suddenly the bank manager appeare...

Credit Crunch Revealed

A confectionery group today revealed that the whole credit crunch was a covert advertising campaign that got out of hand. "The Credit Crunch is actually our new chocolate based crunchy confectionery snack aimed at the Kit Kat sector of the market.

Gordon Brown runs a p*** up in a brewery.

Gordon Brown was absolutely delighted today after succesfully running a p*** up in a brewery in London. "I think this shows the doubters a thing or two" said a happy Prime Minister. "It has cost the nation some £12 million however the results spea...

King Arthur returns to save Britain

King Arthur of the Britons returned in a blaze of glory to lead the country out of the impending recession. Having spent hundreds of years standing by he felt the time was right for his return. "My first act will be to restore Camelot as the ce...

"Another Movie" Flops, Critics Say It Needed A Comical Breakdancing Scene

Another Movie, the newest spoof film from the writers of Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Disaster Movie, badly underperformed in its opening weekend, grossing only $2.8 million. Although the previous spoof films of writers Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltz...

Boy Band 5 to star in a remake of Summer Holiday

Late 1990's boy-band, 5, are all set to appear in a remake of the classic Cliff Richard film Summer Holiday. The film is to be made as part of a new series of reality programmes. The first series, to be shown on BBC2 is called Boy Bands on Film, i...

American Public decide not to vote for new President

In a shock move, many millions of Americans have decided not to vote for a new president. Mr Um Bongo, from Minnesota said: 'We voted last time, look what we got. I don't know anyone who voted for the President, and we were still stuck with him. N...

Salman Rushdie's Mushy Peas

Literary heavy-weight Salman Rushdie has found a novel way of fighting the Credit Crunch, following the launch of his own name brand of Mushy Peas. The food, well loved by northerner's are another string to the bow of the Midnight's Children autho...

Dai the Welshman

An Independent film, Dai the Welshman is said to be rocketing to the top of the critics list when it is released in October. The film follows one day in the life of Dai, a Welshman who thinks philosophically about life. He is seen racing around th...

UK Tabloid Hack Writes "Real" Story And Collapses

In a sensational bizzare twist the "Daily Spoof" can reveal a UK tabloid Journo has actually "written" a real story. The last time this phenomenon was witnessed in the UK dates back to 1901 when Queen Victoria popped her clogs. The headline at t...

Man City finally sign a Ronald

Manchester UK: Man city moved quickly today to sign Ronald McDonald from the giant burger chain McDonalds. After attempts to sign various Ronalds, Ronaldhino from AC Milan, superstar Ronaldo from Man Utd and fat boy, not slim, brazillian Ronaldo,...

The Meaning of Life Cracked by e-book Guru

Christine Carter, author of a series of e-books aimed at helping desperate women get laid, has discovered the meaning of life and it can be yours for just $77 dollars a month. Only last year Carter cracked the secret psychology of all men, much to...

McCain Claims to Have Invented Blackberry, Raspberry.

A spokesman for the McCain campaign claimed today that the senator had been instrumental in the invention of the blackberry. He also claimed credit for inventing the raspberry as well. The blackberry has been consumed by humans since at least t...

What an angry Bill Clinton really told Obama!

Despite publicly stating "I'll do whatever I'm asked to do", an angry Bill Clinton barely acknowledged Obama's presence during their famous tete-a-tete a couple of days ago. An anonymous source stated: "Bill basically told Barack he could kiss hi...

International Council Issues Toilet Seat Use Guidelines

The World Toilet Lid Courtesy Council issued a new set of recommendations for toilet seat use Monday. Citing toilet seat position a the number five cause of divorce worldwide, the council believes their new guidelines will increase family harmony and...

Tina Fey (aka Sarah Palin)

NEW YORK CITY - An assistant to Governor Sarah Palin has stated that 'Salmon Sarah' really liked (and approved) of comedian Tina Fey's impersonation of her on NBC's Saturday Night Live. Amy Poehler mimicked Hillary Clinton, but it was Tina's on-t...

Chernobyl UFO brings down Ukraine government

Ukraine - (Toxic Mess): A skull and crossbones UFO seen hovering over the former Chernobyl nuclear plant may have triggered the collapse of the Ukrainian government according to Pentagon sources. The Viktor Yushchenko/Yulia Tymoshenko coalition ha...

Sarah Palin Is Actually Spoof Writer Gnarly Erik

Republican nobody Sarah Palin isn't really a nobody at all, it has been revealed. For Sarah is, in real life, none other than the revered former writer from TheSpoof.com, Gnarly Erik! 'Erik', who wrote some 9081 stories for TheSpoof.com, before he...

Ewan McGregor & Charley Boorman's New Adventure - The Long Way To Proxima

Charley Boorman and Ewan McGreggor have announced their new adventure, which will be made into a documentary to be shown on BBC2 and National Geographic in the near future. This time they will mount their 'Off-Earth' rocket bikes and start to make...

Oil Plummets To $0.00

New Yawk NY-- The price of oil plunged to zero early today, shocking both Wall Street and Main Street. The price of oil was over $150.00 a barrel only two months ago. Oil futures for October are actually below zero, adding to the confusion. Market an...

Barack Obama - Freddie Mac-Daddy and a Fannie Mae Ho

Sept. 2008, Center for Responsive Politics came out this week showing that Barack Obama was the 2nd largest recipient of cash from troubled financial giants Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, who were in deep doo-doo this summer and they were facing going b...

Leading Tories feel your pain

Tory leader David Cameron and Shadow Chancellor George Osborne have opened up to nation, describing how the credit crunch is affecting them and their families. At a joint appearance on ITV's This Morning, they detailed the steps they have taken to a...

Lehman's Lemmings - Big City Fat Cats Start Jumping Again!

In a scene reminiscent of the Wall Street Crash in 1929, stock brokers all over the world have been lining up at office windows and jumping. New York, London and Hong Kong have already seen thousands throwing themselves to their doom in response to t...

Walmart Buys Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch and AIG

Narrowly averting a massive meltdown, Wall Street firms Lehman Brothers and Merrill Lynch, along with insurer AIG, have all found a buyer. After weeks of intense negotiations and panic in the financial sector, and shortly after Lehman filed for bankr...

Putin calls it Palin's Folly as Ice Princess Seeks to Resell Alaska to Russia

When Secretary of State William Seward set about to persuade skeptical mainland America to purchase the gigantic frozen north of Alaska from cash poor Russia, his plan was mocked as Seward's Folly. Now that the Republicant effort of Mccain-Plain has...

Sarah Palin Nude: Confessions of a Spoof Writer

Sarah Palin Nude -- sounds silly, doesn't it? That's what I thought when I wrote my spoof. I've been writing spoof news - joke articles for website thespoof.com - for about a year and a half. I stumbled on the site one day on a Google News search and I was hooked. First some background: TheSpoof.com is a poor man's The Onion. The Onion is probably the leading "fake news" website. It is professi...

Real John McCain Found Bound and Gagged in High Chancellor Cheney's Bunker!

Long time supporters of one time Maverick John McCain have been incredulous about his recent abandonment of the straight talk express for the kiss your ass local. McCain has been making all stops to venerate the lobbyists, intolerant religionists and...

Pro-Life Palin and Her Pro-Death Hobbies!

Sarah Palin wants to protect every fertilzed egg, blastocyst, embryo fetus and new born human child while she would kill every Alaskan wolf with a Russian Kalachnicoff from a Chinese made heliocopter. There is no caribou or moose safe from slayer Sar...

I am Woman Hear Me Roar! Uh-oh.

We, my wife, daughters and I, just watched Greta Van Sustern's interview of Sarah Palin's husband in Alaska and my wife says, after they showed him and his racing snow machines "Well, they might run him for president one day" and I laughed. Trying to be "cute" and in my best chauvinist voice I said "What are you talking about, that's woman's work now!" And they looked at me like I was referri...

German Roman Catholic Pope Tells French to Use Algorhythmn to Make More Catholics!

Celibate Roman Catholic Popes have been telling married faithful to use the rhythm method of family planning also known as Vatican Roulette for centuries. Large catholic families have brought home to Rome great mounds of money from this unscientific...

Arms Runners Bush-Cheney Triple Weapons Sales to the Free World's Future Enemies!

US sold weapons are still being fired at Western Allies in Afghanistan. Left over from the arming of the Mujahideen and their leader Osama Bin Laden, America's feverish desire to arm the world has time and again come back to bite Uncle Sam in his ski...

Red W and the United Socialist States of America

The lazy-unfair economy of Republiclueless Bush has bailed out so many failing corporations that capitalist no longer can describe the state run economy of the USSA. Bear Stearn, Freddie and Fannie Mae-Mac, Lehman, Merrill Lynch and dozens more c...

Spoof news stories from Tuesday 16 September 2008