Funny story:  Poll: Trust in Polls Lowest Ever!

Poll: Trust in Polls Lowest Ever!

Warsaw - An overwhelming majority of Americans have lost faith in the ability of polls to lead the nation, according to new poll of 1000 registered Americans.
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Funny story:  Greeks win Lesbos Case - Lesbian Banned!

Greeks win Lesbos Case - Lesbian Banned!

Campaigners from Greece's third biggest island today won a court injunction banning the use of the word Lesbian.
View 'Greeks win Lesbos Case - Lesbian Banned!'
Funny story:  Dangerous Pirate Boards USS Lincoln

Dangerous Pirate Boards USS Lincoln

May 1, 2003, aboard the USS Lincoln (CVN 72), President George W. Bush (xliii) stood under a banner (Mission Accomplished), in a naval aviator's combat flight suit (sporting a 12-inch codpiece, which was probably a urine bag for when he pissed himself), after his first trap (lingo for successful landing on an aircraft carrier), and stated that "major combat operations in Iraq have ended&q...
View 'Dangerous Pirate Boards USS Lincoln'
Funny story:  Sound and Fury Takes Toll on Obama, Poll Finds

Sound and Fury Takes Toll on Obama, Poll Finds

Senator Barack Obama's aura of inevitability in the battle for the Democratic presidential nomination has diminished after many of his most loyal supporters reported enjoying the novels of William Faulkner, according to the latest New Yor...
View 'Sound and Fury Takes Toll on Obama, Poll Finds'
Funny story:  Thurman 'frightened by lack of publicity'

Thurman 'frightened by lack of publicity'

Hollywood actress Uma Thurman said today she was 'panicked' and 'frightened' by not getting enough publicity.
View 'Thurman 'frightened by lack of publicity''
Funny story:  Eliot Spitzer stays schtum as DC Madam found dead

Eliot Spitzer stays schtum as DC Madam found dead

New York - (Ass Mess): Disgraced former brothel enthusiast and ex-New York Governor Eliot Spitzer has blanked reporters following the news of Deborah Jeane Palfrey's sudden death.
View 'Eliot Spitzer stays schtum as DC Madam found dead'
Funny story:  Foreign laws 'are sold as British'

Foreign laws 'are sold as British'

A significant amount of laws thought of as 'local' or 'British' actually come from abroad, a BBC investigation has revealed.
View 'Foreign laws 'are sold as British''
Funny story:  Farmer's Inflatable Pig goes down on him

Farmer's Inflatable Pig goes down on him

A Californian farmer who purchased an inflatable pig on eBay this week for just $50 thought he had a bargain until the porker was posted to him in a shocking state (that's the pig - not California!).
View 'Farmer's Inflatable Pig goes down on him'
Funny story:  Emma Watson Lets Herself Go

Emma Watson Lets Herself Go

There must be some serious rivalry between the Harry Potter stars because today, after hearing about Daniel Radcliffe's new found mingingness, Emma Watson too let herself go.
View 'Emma Watson Lets Herself Go'
Funny story:  German child with Air-Raid Siren causes Havoc In Shrewsbury

German child with Air-Raid Siren causes Havoc In Shrewsbury

A German toddler has caused untold mayhem in a British town by playing with an air-raid siren passed down to him by his great-great grand-Furher Adolf.
View 'German child with Air-Raid Siren causes Havoc In Shrewsbury'
Funny story:  2002 Kentucky Derby winner Whore Emblem can't get it up for Japanese fillies

2002 Kentucky Derby winner Whore Emblem can't get it up for Japanese fillies

Hokkaido, Japan - (Horse-bollox Mess): Fabled 2002 Kentucky Derby winner Whore Emblem has gone lame in the matrimonial stakes at his Shadai Stallion Station Japanese stud farm home.
View '2002 Kentucky Derby winner Whore Emblem can't get it up for Japanese fillies'
Funny story:  Dutrow bullish about Big Brown superstar

Dutrow bullish about Big Brown superstar

Louisville, Kentucky - (Thoroughbred Mess): Unbeaten 3/1 Kentucky derby favorite Big Brown is the bees' knees' to trainer Rick Dutrow who has dismissed kiss-of-death fears for the colt's outside draw of stall number 20 as nothing more tha...
View 'Dutrow bullish about Big Brown superstar'
Funny story:  'I'm wicked and I'm lazy'

'I'm wicked and I'm lazy'

Gaz Swanton from Salford, Manchester is OFFICIALLY Britain's laziest individual.
View ''I'm wicked and I'm lazy''
Funny story:  Arsene never really liked Changing Rooms

Arsene never really liked Changing Rooms

Arsene Wenger has blamed the current housing market slump for his team's loss of form. At one stage, The Gunners were 5 points clear with bookies paying out on them winning the Premiership at a canter.
View 'Arsene never really liked Changing Rooms'
Funny story:  Last train to Clarksville, Essex

Last train to Clarksville, Essex

Train companies were warned as to the problems faced by passengers traveling home on Thursday and Friday evenings when city workers traditionally have a few beers in readiness for the weekend. Trains leaving Liverpool St on these nights after 10.30pm...
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Funny story:  Wii are Family

Wii are Family

As the Wii play station craze continues to rise, 'reality holidays' are set to prove popular meaning that the general public can now visit exotic locations without ever having to leave their home.
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Funny story:  Ping Pong Cowell

Ping Pong Cowell

ITV1 reality show 'Britain's got Talent' is under the spotlight after contestant Sharon Fairclough proved 'a little too hot to handle'.
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Funny story:  Time Magazine publishes Top 100 Hellfire Club Crooks of 2008

Time Magazine publishes Top 100 Hellfire Club Crooks of 2008

New York - (AssoCIAted Mess): Time Magazine has published its annual list of the top 100 most successful Hellfire Club crooks of 2008.
View 'Time Magazine publishes Top 100 Hellfire Club Crooks of 2008'
Funny story:  Daniel Radcliffe Lets Himself Go

Daniel Radcliffe Lets Himself Go

It is a sad day for all us 'spotty' teenage girls around the world as Daniel Radcliffe formally known as Radders is pictured leaving his Fulham family home, looking frankly awful.
View 'Daniel Radcliffe Lets Himself Go'
Funny story:  Parents of future tennis star don't think Lil-lets can help Wimbledon dream

Parents of future tennis star don't think Lil-lets can help Wimbledon dream

It would appear that the advertising campaign in the 80's where Lil-lets were seen as the "feminine route to freedom" and could "help with playing tennis and other games during times of tension" were all a sham.
View 'Parents of future tennis star don't think Lil-lets can help Wimbledon dream'
Funny story:  Gobal Warming is a myth

Gobal Warming is a myth

Scientists are increasingly concerned about the genuine threat of 'global freezing'.
View 'Gobal Warming is a myth'
Funny story:  Records are there to be broken

Records are there to be broken

Karen Matthews, Mother of Shannon has contacted the 'Guinness Book of Records' to enquire what the highest number of arrests within one family stands at.
View 'Records are there to be broken'
Funny story:  This man could kill YOU

This man could kill YOU

As the race to be London Mayor hits the home straight and 'hots up' Boris Johnson has addressed the growing issue of Noise Pollution.
View 'This man could kill YOU'
Funny story:  Elton Still Number 1

Elton Still Number 1

The Daily Mail has sensationally admitted that it in fact faked Princess Diana's death to create interest and headlines.
View 'Elton Still Number 1'
Funny story:  Amy won't venture South

Amy won't venture South

Amy Winehouse has sensationally made headlines for the first time this year by not actually making the headlines.
View 'Amy won't venture South'
Funny story:  Changing Lanes

Changing Lanes

A pensioner was reliving the moment he could not get off the M25 and drove round it twice before being rescued.
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Funny story:  Strange but True

Strange but True

A steward inside Old Trafford has found a Manchester Utd fan who is actually from Manchester.
View 'Strange but True'
Funny story:  Austrian incest nutter's eldest grandchild pregnancy rumors

Austrian incest nutter's eldest grandchild pregnancy rumors

Amstetten, Austria - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): An omerta style wall of silence has descended on Amstetten CID amid press speculation that the eldest grandchild of incest nutter Joseph Fritzl is herself pregnant.
View 'Austrian incest nutter's eldest grandchild pregnancy rumors'
Funny story:  Moscow Police Happy over the 'Plastic Fans' Final

Moscow Police Happy over the 'Plastic Fans' Final

Moscow Police were today celebrating F.C Chelskis victory over Liverpool. Our reporter was allowed a brief interview with Vladimir Killthemov "Chief of Security".
View 'Moscow Police Happy over the 'Plastic Fans' Final'
Funny story:  US Fairly Confident That Al Qaeda Leader was in That Library They Bombed

US Fairly Confident That Al Qaeda Leader was in That Library They Bombed

MOGADISHU, SOMALIA - The US military is claiming to have killed Aden Ayro, the leader of Somalia's deadliest terrorist cell, in an overnight airstrike - or at least they're pretty sure he was somewhere was in that library they bombed.
View 'US Fairly Confident That Al Qaeda Leader was in That Library They Bombed'
Funny story:  "MC Jazzy Jeff" - Sky Sports' Stelling Moves into the Weddings Game

"MC Jazzy Jeff" - Sky Sports' Stelling Moves into the Weddings Game

The days of stuffy toastmasters stiltedly clinking champagne glasses and barking dry, emotionless orders to your nearest and dearest may soon be over, with the news that Sky Sports are rolling out their successful football results service format onto...
View '"MC Jazzy Jeff" - Sky Sports' Stelling Moves into the Weddings Game'
Funny story:  Leeds United Suffer Further Penalty

Leeds United Suffer Further Penalty

Leeds United, the League One side who today appealed against a 15-point penalty given to them at the start of this season, are set to be penalised by a further 5 points, it has been revealed.
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Funny story:  Superdelegate Bill Clinton Endorses Obama

Superdelegate Bill Clinton Endorses Obama

(Washington DC) Politics makes strange bedfellows and there may be no one stranger than Bill Clinton. The ex-president turned the tables on his wife and endorsed Obama for the presidency.
View 'Superdelegate Bill Clinton Endorses Obama'
Funny story:  Avram Grant Voted Best Chelsea Manager Since...

Avram Grant Voted Best Chelsea Manager Since...

A survey amongst Chelsea fans after last night's 3-1 Champions League victory over Liverpool, has shown that a significant number of them regard Avram Grant as the best manager since Jose...
View 'Avram Grant Voted Best Chelsea Manager Since...'
Funny story:  David Blaine holds Mike Easley underwater for 17 minutes!

David Blaine holds Mike Easley underwater for 17 minutes!

American magician David Blaine set a new campaign stunt record yesterday by holding North Carolina governor Mike Easley, who said Tuesday that Ms Clinton "makes Rocky Balboa look like a pansy" and possibly derailing Hillary Clinton&...
View 'David Blaine holds Mike Easley underwater for 17 minutes!'
Funny story:  Albert Hofmann, Swiss Chemist who Discovered LSD, may be Dead at 102

Albert Hofmann, Swiss Chemist who Discovered LSD, may be Dead at 102

Chemist, Albert Hofmann, who was pronounced dead back in 1978 at 72 and then was again pronounced dead in 1989 at 83 and once again was pronounced dead in 2001 at 95, was once again pronounced dead this week at 102 years old.
View 'Albert Hofmann, Swiss Chemist who Discovered LSD, may be Dead at 102'
Funny story:  Wombles to Play Glastonbury

Wombles to Play Glastonbury

Following news that Welsh raver Shakin' Stevens is to play this year's Glastonbury, we can exclusively reveal the news that The Wombles, who were big in the 1970's, will play this year on The Pyramid Stage.
View 'Wombles to Play Glastonbury'
Funny story:  Inhabitants of Paedo up in arms over Lesbos publicity

Inhabitants of Paedo up in arms over Lesbos publicity

The inhabitants of the island of Paedo (referred to as Paedophiles), off the coast of Austria, are livid regarding the recent publicity surrounding the Greek island of Lesbos.
View 'Inhabitants of Paedo up in arms over Lesbos publicity'
Funny story:  Mayor opens squatters' advice centre where squatters moved in 6 months ago

Mayor opens squatters' advice centre where squatters moved in 6 months ago

The mayor of Burnley, Bea Enpea, has opened the country's first squatting advice centre for layabouts, drug-addicts and fake Big Issue sellers who can't be bothered working and paying for a mortgage.
View 'Mayor opens squatters' advice centre where squatters moved in 6 months ago'
Funny story:  Manchester crooner Morrissey dropped by label for releasing happy song

Manchester crooner Morrissey dropped by label for releasing happy song

The singer Morrissey, real name Morris Day, and a brother of Green Day, is being dropped by his music label for releasing an upbeat song.
View 'Manchester crooner Morrissey dropped by label for releasing happy song'
Funny story:  Ron Paul's New Book Number One on Amazon

Ron Paul's New Book Number One on Amazon

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) -- Ron Paul's Republican presidential campaign has set campaign fundraising records and captured more delegates during his presidential run than some of his high-profile Republican rivals, and now his new book is tops on A...
View 'Ron Paul's New Book Number One on Amazon'
Funny story:  Papa Panzer: Can Roman Catholicism Become Gay Again?

Papa Panzer: Can Roman Catholicism Become Gay Again?

Religion writers, who usually clean the toilets, were given the assignment of continuing the interrogation of Pope Benedick. The topic of this interview is the Catholic doctrine concerning homosexsuality.
View 'Papa Panzer: Can Roman Catholicism Become Gay Again?'
Funny story:  OPEC Out for...Blood?!

OPEC Out for...Blood?!

Leaders of OPEC have been rumored to have had recent meetings on combining their efforts to market and produce a new fossil fuel alternative.
View 'OPEC Out for...Blood?!'
Funny story:  David Blaine Sets Levitation Record by Lifting Oprah

David Blaine Sets Levitation Record by Lifting Oprah

CHICAGO, IL - The crowd was hushed. David Blaine's face was the picture of pure concentration. Oprah sat patiently in her signature interviewer's chair. Then suddenly, with a gasp from the crowd and a squeal from Oprah, the chair began to...
View 'David Blaine Sets Levitation Record by Lifting Oprah'
Funny story:  Bush Names Ketchup an Entree in School Lunches

Bush Names Ketchup an Entree in School Lunches

In the hard times in the Reagan years, ketchup was named a vegetable in public school lunchrooms by Republican appointed nutritionists. In the age of childhood obesity, schools have been moving to healthier lunches and nutritious breakfast programs i...
View 'Bush Names Ketchup an Entree in School Lunches'
Funny story:  Paula Abdul Names Jack Daniels Her American Idol Twice!

Paula Abdul Names Jack Daniels Her American Idol Twice!

American Idol Star Judge Paula Abdul regularly votes for Jack Daniels as the best performer on American Idol despite the fact that none of the candidates are named Jack or have the surname Daniels.
View 'Paula Abdul Names Jack Daniels Her American Idol Twice!'
Funny story:  Obama Campaign Chooses Official Flower

Obama Campaign Chooses Official Flower

In an attempt to portray both a down to earth populism and find a metro sexual sensibility, the Obama campaign has named a campaign flower. The dandelion has been chosen to represent the ubiquitous nature of Barack's support, its resilient abilit...
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Funny story:  Snooker: The Breaking of the Cherry Breaks Box Office Records

Snooker: The Breaking of the Cherry Breaks Box Office Records

From Rocky to Beerfest XVII, films have used sport as the inspirational vehicle for the myth of human accomplishment. The washed up Philly cheese steak rises to culinary delight, the beer gut becomes haute decor.
View 'Snooker: The Breaking of the Cherry Breaks Box Office Records'
Funny story:  Woman Spotted At Iron Man Movie Premiere

Woman Spotted At Iron Man Movie Premiere

(New York) The Loews Cinema in Times Square was thrown into a state of turmoil during a special midnight screening of Iron Man when a person believed to be an attractive woman was spotted among the crowd of single overweight male moviegoers.
View 'Woman Spotted At Iron Man Movie Premiere'
Funny story:  Obama and Clinton Both Drop Out

Obama and Clinton Both Drop Out

DNC Chairman Howard Dean announced today that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have both given up any hope of winning the Democratic nomination. Their campaigns have given him notice within minutes of each other.
View 'Obama and Clinton Both Drop Out'
Funny story:  Wife Leaves Hubby for the Weather Channel

Wife Leaves Hubby for the Weather Channel

Cornie Johanssen of International Falls filed divorce papers today to his wife of 20 years for leaving him for the weather channel.
View 'Wife Leaves Hubby for the Weather Channel'
Funny story:  Third grade teacher arraigned on Federal firearms possession charges for having handgun in class -- blames school budget cuts and statewide testing

Third grade teacher arraigned on Federal firearms possession charges for having handgun in class -- blames school budget cuts and statewide testing

Santa Ana, California - Arrested on federal charges for having a handgun and bullets in her third grade classroom in early April, the teacher entered a not guilty plea in a Santa Ana courtroom today. Through her attorney, she insisted she never inte...
View 'Third grade teacher arraigned on Federal firearms possession charges for having handgun in class -- blames school budget cuts and statewide testing'
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