Spoof news stories from Monday 3 March 2008
Youngest Rockefeller Raises Purebred Poo
It has been recently discovered that Frank Rockefeller, after dissing Standard Oil, decided to raise purebred cattle for purebred poo. It seems that the youngest Rockefeller believed that the money wasn't in oil at that time. That it was in state...
Keegan Runs Away Again
It has been strongly suggested today via various sources that Newcastle United manager and former England supremo Kevin Keegan, has run away.
Latest US poll confirms: Americans are not racist; they're just misogynists
WASHINGTON: Well-known US pollster John Zigzag has just confirmed what the American media has always known but clearly avoided mentioning.
Obama Responsible for Y2K, say rumors
Was Barack Obama responsible for the Year 2000 Crisis (commonly known as Y2K)?...
Harry's combat duty has made people feel better about being Taleban says NATO
Kabullshit - (Ass Mess): Nine out of ten Taleban warlords say their sense of self-esteem has soared after seeing gingernut Prince Harry mincing round in designer combats and £250-a-pop Raybans on their home turf near Kandahar.
Alex Jones Makes One Last Stand!
DENVER -Almost four years since the search for the elusive Alex Jones began comes word from Homeland Security Officials that the former radio talk show host turned cult leader has taken his own life following a tense stand-off with f...
Texas taco shop owner claims Obama's image can be seen in tortilla
ALAMO, TEXAS: Miguelito Gutierrez, owner of Taco Delicioso told reporters outside his taco-shack that the image of Barack Obama appeared on a tortilla when he pulled his stack out of the oven.
Angels, Athletics, Astros all A's?
The Anaheim Angels, Houston Astros and Oakland Athletics continue their court battle over rights to the nickname A's. For years the Oakland Athletics have also gone by the name A's dating back to their time in Philadelphia.
Ricin Scare a "Gross Misunderstanding" According to FBI, Hotel
The FBI concluded that ricin found in a Las Vegas hotel room resulted from a "gross misunderstanding" between a guest and room service. Room service staff misinterpreted a request for "rice and coke" as "ricin coke", str...
Jamie Lynn Juno
Academy award nominated 'Juno' is to be made into a Broadway musical, staring non other than... Jamie Lynn Spears! The preggers sixteen year old sings the theme tune to her show 'Zoey 101' and is said to be "thrilled" by the...
Study: Breast Cancer 3-day actually takes 4 days
The very popular charity walk, The Breast Cancer 3-Day, has participants crossing the finish line 24 hours after their scheduled arrival time. "God, it felt like we were walking for 4 days," said a visibly frustrated walker, Cathy...
Prince Harry conspiracy and blackout more complex than we thought
Apparently applying the adage "Any publicity is good publicity, especially if your magazine's name is transcendentally insipid," the Australian women's weekly New Idea defied an officially-requested news em...
A Sneak Peak at the Bush Presidential "Library"
Washington, D.C. - A general organizational outline of the proposed George H. Bush Presidential Library was leaked to the press today.
Tom Cruise Grows Beard For Latest Role
Heterosexual Scientology-loving Hollywood heartthrob, Tom Cruise has grown a beard to portray Rumpelstiltskin in his latest movie. The star - who is married to a woman, and likes having sex with women and only women...
Men Equals Dogs, Women Equals Badgers...
It has come to my mind, that men do show some similarities between themselves and dogs. However, women have similarities between themselves and badgers. Here is what I have noticed:...
"What Goes On In a Woman's Head" Study.
A Duke University study has shown some insight into the mind of women. They have not 'cracked the code', but they are now understanding more about what women mean when they say certain things. Offering $1,000 to 100 subjects, researchers have found out the meaning to the following:...
Curse of Sharapova's loins rages unabated as Scots wimp Murray trounces Federer in straight sets shocker
Dubai - (Ballsup Mess): Unseeded Scottish twenty year-old wimp Andy Murray was revelling in his Dubai Open first round victory over world No 1 top seed Roger Federer today after the champ crumpled in helpless straight sets impotence.
Harry News Blackout "Just the Tip of the Iceberg"
The press leak detailing Prince Harry's exploits in Afghanistan could lead to further revelations about senior royals' covert operations, a worried Buckingham Palace insider revealed today.
ELF Burns Gore's House
Former Vice President Al Gore's summer home was one of four luxury homes in Seattle burned down today in an attack that appears to have been committed by the Earth Liberation Front (ELF). The ELF has been associated with other arson attacks in Wa...
Jersey Horror Dig Strikes Oil
Police and forensic scientists digging at the site of the Jersey Children's Home Murder Mystery, haven't yet found any further evidence of foul play, but have instead struck oil.
Top 7 Signs in Florida
We saw some great signs on our recent trip to Florida. Below is a Top 7 list. Three of these are real signs we actually saw, and four are made up. Can you guess which are real? Scroll down to the bottom and I'll list the real ones.
Machete attacker arrested
Monkey, the face of PG Tips was arrested earlier today after attacking a bin man with a machete.
Jersey Horror Dig Reveals Lost Ark (2008)
Police and forensic archaeologists digging at the Haut de la Garenne Children's Home on the island of Jersey, have turned up an unusual and valuable item in the form of the Lost Ark, the box made famous by intre...
Kid rescued on cue
Tri-state rescue teams waited nearly four hours for the Live at 6 News Team cruiser to arrive before pulling 4-year-old Autumn Yancy from a storm drain on Monday.
Another Model found In Seine
Following the grim discovery of former Supermodel, Katoucha in the river Seine in Paris by the French police on Thursday, yet another model has been found less than a mile away.
Imran Khan recalls Diana tryst bust-up
London - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Former Pakistani cricket hero Imran Khan has testified at the Princess Diana inquest and has blamed former England rugby captain Will Carling for the break-up of their amour.
Blair to lecture at proposed new Bush Mausoleum & Library
Dallas, Texarse - (Backhander Mess): Ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair will be address a fully paid-up audience at the Southern Comfort Methodist University on Wednesday following the recent announcement it has been chosen as the official last resting p...
Haut de la Garenne: Thatcher's brother was school janitor
St Helier, Jersey - (Colditz Mess): Detectives dismantling Jersey's house of horrors care home have found evidence behind a filthy, ancient china cabinet that former UK Prime Monster Margaret Thatcher's brother was employed as the school'...
Not every complaint against Haut de la Garenne is true
Not every complaint against Haut de la Garenne is true - by Sister Breathless Sobriny...
Jersey Horror Dig Latest
Police and forensic scientists excavating the site of the Jersey Children's Home in their search for bones, have revealed that they have made a significant discovery in their investigation - soil.
Prince Harry Doesn't Like England Much
Prince Harry, sent home from The War in Afghanistan in disgrace by military commanders, has told reporters he doesn't like England very much, and wishes it would sink.
Prince Harry In "UK is Pants" Shocker
Returning hero, Prince Harry, has caused a stir by branding his homeland as pants!...
Oil surges to $2,498.00 per barrel
Higher demand, lower supply, an uncertain stock market and unrest in the Middle East have forced oil prices to levels never seen before in the annals of history. Oil closed yesterday at $2,489.00 per barrel.
Rambo 4 Sucks Utterly: Banned in Britain, Burma
(Hollywood) Sylvester Stallone has threatened to expose Britain's 'killing fields' if the ban on his latest Rambo flick is not lifted.
Prince Harry returns from Afghanistan, as do all other British troops
Prince Harry was recently ordered to return from Afghanistan, his deployment there being deemed too dangerous for a Prince of the Royal Blood. But in a surprising development, all 5700 British troops in Afghanistan were also brought home for the same...
McCain Accepts Know-Nothing Party Endorsement!
Immigration issues have played an important role in US politics across the decades and the centuries. The 1850's, the 18880's and the early 1900's have all been times in US elections where the issue of immigration has shaded the political...
Venezuala set to invade Disneyland
Venezualan potentate, Hugo Chavez, has unleashed the full might of the Venezualan army -some 11 tanks, 84 soldiers and 47 battle-hardened Chihuahuas- in a "revenge" attack against Disneyland.
Crips Come Out Fo Hillary; While Bloods Declare Obama as Der Bro!
Political experts across the country are trying to puzzle their way through the results of this year's Democratic Primary elections and are asking: why has the Hispanic vote been such a mystery?...
"Victoria's Secret" CEO Causes Rash of Store Picketing and Pandemonium All Over The U.S.
Citing 'Victoria's Secrets' "hot-to-trot-in-the-sack-fancy-call-girl-undies-boutique-for-hotties," recent losses, CEO Sharona X. Turkey recently stated that, "The chain has gotten 'too sexy' and is returning to its...
DaSpoof.Com Editors Send Pointer to Rehab!
TheSpoof.com's editors have had some difficulties to say the least with contributor, Pointer. They complain that this contributor comes and goes as it pleases and that its contributions have little regard for the details of good writing.
"Filthy" Tony Resko Friend of "Pure" Obama!
"Filthy" Tony Resko has been a devoted friend to "Pure" Barack Hussein Obama for years now. Resko recently indicted for all manner and means of corruption has backed bho since his kindergarten days in politics.
Space Aliens Tossed Out of Vegas Casino
Las Vegas, Nevada (IPP) - When the flying saucer first landed everybody thought it was a Las Vegas gag. Then they realized that this was the real thing - the first landing of extra-terrestrials on Earth.
Dr. Jeckyl and Hanna Montana
Miley Cyrus had been diagnosed with a rare multiple personality disorder brought on by ingesting a potion created by Dr. Henry Jeckyl from the Jeckyl and Hyde Institute of Los Angeles California. The chemical potion derived from a mixture of Aloe Ver...
Ashes to Ashes Star David Bowie Vows "I'll Kill Off Ziggy Starbucks"
Ashes to Ashes star, David Bowie, has shocked execs at auntie Beeb by sensationally quitting the top show in a row over money.
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