Spoof news stories from Wednesday 26 March 2008
Carla Brunei and David Cameron are the royal cuckoo's parents
Windsor Castle - (ReUterus & Royal Ass Mess): France's first Madame Carla Brunei Sarkozy and UK Tory leader David Cameron were named today as the biological parents of the Pretender to the Throne's heir of the dog apparent.
Youtube - The Cinema experience
Straggly bearded Multi-millionaire and train driver Richard Branson has unleashed a brand new idea on the world.
Sarkozy - Britain and France have "never been so close"
In the first speech of his state visit President Sarkozy has heaped warm praise on Britain. Praising Britain's courage, dynamism and strength he urged both countries to "overcome our long-standing rivalries and build together a future that w...
David Attenborough's next series - Life in my backyard
Television Legend David Attenborough has revealed the ideas behind his next series. It is to be called 'Life in my backyard'.
Vanessa Hudgens to Star in a High School Musical Sans Wildcats and Disney
Vanessa Hudgens, of nudy pic fame, will be stepping out of the Wildcat shadow. She will also be stepping away from Disney.
Jordan voted best writer, ahead of Dickens
Human wife of Peter Andre, Jordan has recently been voted the best writer, ahead of such names as Charles Dickens.
Rupert Grint To Write Best Selling Novel
Ginger actor Rupert Grint who stars along side Daniel Radcliffe as idiot sidekick Ron in the Harry Potter films has announced today that he is writing a book that WILL sell millions.
Secret Plan in Place For Bush and Cheney to Buy and Sell "Iraq War" Weapons and Goods After War Ends
"The Special Spense Report. Never At Your Expense! Just Keep It Hush Hush!"...
Obama Lashes Out
An Angry Barrak Obama struck back at the Clinton Campaign following an ad that aired last night in Pennsylvania.
Pig ignorance to be allowed on UK aircraft in the EU
Rude self obsessed annoying people are to be allowed to annoy the hell out of fellow passengers on aircraft in the EU under new rules announced today. In a move welcomed by arrogant gits with no regard for others the ignorant will no longer be confi...
John McCain Freaks in Vietnamese Restaurant
"The biggest mistake of my life." - That's how Lawrence Goldman, a life-long friend of Republican presidential candidate John McCain, described his lunch with the Arizona Senator at Thanh Hien, a Vietnamese restaurant in suburban Phoeni...
Postman Pat now Racing Driver
Following many of the recent changes to the Postal Service, Postman Pat, or now Pat, has decided to become a Racing Driver.
Wayne Rooney given new words to use for dissent
Footballers are feeling the pressure following the Football Association's recent campaign against dissent towards referees and the dismissal of Mascherano during the Manchester United game on Sunday. However, many believe that being prevented fro...
Nudists Move Out of Mousetrap Factory
A strike at mousetrap factory, which has been at the center of a protest by a group of nudist workers, has finally ended with both sides agreeing to a peace deal.
Woman Who Appears in Picture Frames Has Home Burgled
The lady, who appears in the picture that accompanies every picture frame you purchase, has been burgled while out on her latest photo shoot and ironically the only thing stolen in the robbery was a picture of herself
Tom Cruise: "I am the Lindbergh Baby!"
Hollywood multi-millionaire actor Tom Cruise has admitted to authorities that he is indeed the fabled "Lindbergh Baby".
Rev. Wright Slams Easter Bunny, Hillary Clinton Lies About Easter Celebration
A new video of Barack Obama's pastor, Reverend Wright, has surfaced on the internet, this one of Rev. Wright's Easter sermon. Rev. Wright expressed his outrage towards the childhood legend, the Easter Bunny.
Hermione Granger Teenage Pregnancy.
Know it all witch Hermione Granger has disgraced Hogwarts school by being the first pupil in a century to fall pregnant whilst attending.
Hillary Dodges Sniper Fire In Bosnia
Claiming to have been dodging sniper fire after landing in Bosnia, Hillary Clinton has instead been caught on video meandering on the tarmac, greeting the welcoming committee, all smiles, perfectly groomed shoulder length page-boy, longer than Javier...
Do you know who I am?
Shocking reports just launched show that many people actually know who a lot of people are.
Obama plays an ace black card - but Hillary wins with a magnificent pair
In the red hot poker-heat of American politics, Hillary Clinton shocked her supporters yesterday when she got her amazing boobs out at a press conference in wonderful West Virginia.
World's media will turn to spoof writers for April Fools news
THE world's print media will be turning its attention to spoof media websites and publications on Tuesday in anticipation of following up a host of world exclusives.
Daniel Radcliffe Loses His Fortune
Yesterday Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe had the world at his feet- he was loaded, he had millions of girls willing to die for him and he had a dream job. But this morning he finds himself alone, penniless and out of a job.
Pub Doorways Now Most Popular Places In Britain
Pub doorways and the entrances to shopping centres have now become the most populated places in Britain, according to smokers' groups.
Jerry Hall: Mick caught crabs from Carla Brunei
London - (Lurid Ass Mess): Mick Jagger's ex-missus Jerry Hall has told reporters of her pubic lice horrors after the ageing rocker slept with Carla Brunei, current spouse of the French president.
Giant meteorite brought gas to Scotland
Ullapool - (Ass Mess): A giant gas-bearing meteorite that smashed into waters off the Scottish coast about 1.2 billion years ago brought the North Sea's fabled cash-cow of liquid natural gas to the area.
Scientists stumped as Clinton's nose continues to lengthen
The scientific community has admitted been baffled by the mystery illness afflicting Democratic liaress Hillary Clinton. The rare ailment, which has only been noted a handful of times in history, is called Liaritis or The Pinoccio Effect.
Mrs Sarkozy's sexy snaps revealed!
Sun Exclusive! - Prince Phillip is said to be among the most enthusiastic bidders on the steamy photographs of Carla Bruni, slutty wife to French president Nicolas Sarkozy, which are set to be auctioned at Christie's early next month.
Phillip, a...
Hillary Clinton: I was WWI Fighter Pilot
Fresh concerns were voiced about Hillary Clinton's credibility when she announced she had been a decorated fighter pilot in the First World War, despite that having taken place almost 30 years before she was born.
Lowton conducts sensory deprivation experiment using TheSpoof.com writers
"The aim of the project is to obtain basic information on how TheSpoof.com writers will react in situations where nothing is happening," said Lowton aide Victor Frankenstein.
Pope Ate My Cock!
Gossip columnists, tabloid journalists and Italian fellatioists were reeling after chicken farmer; Sicilian Giuseppe Pollo told reporters that Pope Benedict the Sixteenth ate his cock.
Biologist Discovers God While Researching in Antarctica
It is the universal question that we all ask ourselves at some point in our life: What does God look like? Nobody has been able to offer up any reasonable answers to that question until now.
The Jesus Diet Saves!
When was the last time you took a good look at your crucifix? What? You don't have a crucifix? What are you, some sort of Satanist, or Atheist, or philanthropist?...
"Brain-Dead" Okie to Star in New Reality Show: R U Smarter Than a Brain-Dead Okie?
An Oklahoman man, Neander Thall, was declared brain dead by Tulsa Medical Center and Beauty Emporium doctors on July 4, 2005. Just this very week Mr Thall walked out of the hospital under his own powers. Neander's family and friends were there to...
Bush Thanks Four Thousand for Dying for EXXON!
Worst President ever, GW Bush gushed real tears, like the oil gushers that made his grandfather, his father and his own lazy, under achieving ass rich, when he thanked the four thousand American corpses and the countless bereaved loved ones left behi...
Johnny McC Don't Know The Difference Between Shiites and Shinola!
When Iranian leaders discovered that after five years of war and 4,000 dead US soldiers that Bush Redux, Johnny McC still had not learned the difference between Shiites and Shinola, they proposed that the fifty rival sects in Iraq all switch uniforms...
Beaver Falls, MT Site of First Discount Hoe House, The Hoemporium!
As stock prices cascade and the housing market goes to hell, as food and gas costs ejaculate upward, no one could pre-dict what would happen in the high Priced Hoes market.
The Detroit Tigers Sign Gary Coleman
The Detroit Tigers have confirmed that Gary Coleman will be their backup catcher for the oncoming season, as part of the Dontrelle Willis package.
The Diff'rent Strokes star will be catching for the ex-Marlins pitcher as GM Dave Dombrowski hopes t...
Obama counting on relatives to put him over the top
WASHINGTON, DC--It has emerged that Barack Obama is the third cousin, once removed, of over 845,000 Americans. The Geneo-Political Consulting Corporation of Alexandria, Virginia revealed the information after being hired by the Obama campaign last we...
George Michael to tour U.S. after picking up "Bed, Bath and Beyond" as sponsor
London, England - After a four year long successful run in Europe former "Wham!" member, George Michael, plans to cross the pond and play in Canada and the United States, continuing his tour. The decision to extend the tour came when Michae...
M25 to become a Lazy River
Ken Livingstone, the Mayor of London, today announced that he is to back a feasibility study into the possible transformation of London's infamous ring road, the M25, into a lazy river more normally found in amusement parks.
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