Spoof news stories from Monday 17 March 2008
Guinness announces new world record
The Guinness Book of World Records today announced a new category of world record and a winner of said record.
Gandhi revealed as an asshole
A press conference was held today at the National Peace Museum in New Delhi, India to announce the expulsion of Mahatma Gandhi as a member of the country's National Peace Society.
Gandhi was one of the world's most beloved leaders of nonviolence and...
Obama Embroiled in Scandal Over Controversial Comments Made by People He Knows
In the wake of controversial statements made by a former minister at the church Barack Obama and his family have attended for nearly 2 decades, come accusations of several other statements that have been made by people Obama knows well. Perhaps the...
Madonna livid at reports linking her to Norwegian socialite's dumped body
London - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Madonna is hopping mad at a London newspaper that said the butchered body of wealthy 23 year-old Norwegian socialite Martine Vik Magnussen was found 'less than five minutes' walk from her Marylebone home...
We Know What You Did Last Summer - BT Admits Phorm Lies
Top telecoms provider Bangalore Telecom (BT) , India, has admitted after pressure from customers that it secretly used its customers data to test Phorm's data-pimping (see target-marketing under "buzzwords",source; BT sales management m...
Not Enough Votes for Anti-Turd Bill
Capitol Hill- In an attempt to rid himself, once and for all, of the turd stories that circulate through TheSpoof.com, Dr. Maxwell lobbied today to have Congress step in. Many of the Congressmen and women agreed with Dr. Maxwell that turd stories wer...
Prison Break star wins zit squirting contest
Prison Break star Wentworth Miller won a large wager today when betting against a marginally talented writer who decided to try his hand at betting.
Queen Elizabeth II issues restrictions on use of "queen" word
By Royal Decree, casual use of the word "queen" will no longer be allowed, Buckingham Palace announced today.
Man's ability to remove threads baffles scientists
British scientists of note are investigating a man from Plymouth whose acute eyesight and extraordinary dexterity may shed light on how the human body's nervous system works.
Heather Mills McCartney sells domain name for £24.3 million
Soon-to-be-divorced from a Beatle Heather Mills McCartney, aka Mucca, has become one of the richest women in the world after masterminding the sale of her domain name for a reported £24.3 million.
Peter Gammons Denies Steroids Use
Eminent baseball journalist and broadcaster Peter Gammons has sworn before a grand jury that he has never taken steroids or HGH in his long and distinguished career.
Yummy Daniel Radcliffe Splashes Out On Chocolate Factory
He is young, gorgeous and filthy rich. So what does Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe spend his well earned(?) cash on? A new pad? New clothes? Apparently not, his new splurge is a £27.2 million chocolate factory. We are sure that this will impress...
Lady Spoof Writers Agree to Referee Size Contest
Queen Mudder, Carina-Eta, Gail Farrelly, Jenny Bigtits, and other female Spoof writers, having grown tired of the current pissing contest between some of the males on the site, have agreed to referee a contest at the annual writer's picnic to see whi...
New Mossad blogsite seeks help from The Spoof
Cyberspace - (AssoCIAted Mess): Mossad - Israel's security service - has launched its very own blogsite and immediately appealed for help from the internet's most raucous satirical website TheSpoof.com for a makeover of its laughings...
Potter Stars Caught Red Handed!
Harry Potter and Ron Weasley were caught red handed in well known erotic muggle club 'shagtastical'.
Harry Potter Has Been Too Nosey For His Own Good!
In a freak accident involving a sheet of glass, teen heart throb and actor Daniel Radcliffe has lost his nose.
Bill Oddie Arrested For Watching Dippers & Beavers
Former 'Goodie' and Wildlife Presenter Bill Oddie has been arrested at the Highland Widlife Centre Car Park in Kingussie, Scotland for watching Dippers and Beavers, he insisted "I was only there as an observing 'twitcher'."...
Ken Livingstone's sperm donation from developer
London - (Rotters): An official probe has revealed London mayor Ken Livingstone received a secret sperm donation from a convicted fraudster property developer keen to see his erection tower over St Paul's.
Shannon Matthews ADOPTED By West Yorkshire Police
(Up North) Earlier reports that Shannon Matthews, the 9-year-old schoolgirl missing for three weeks, had been abducted by West Yorkshire Police, were innacurate says a police statement. The gi...
Another Giant Crane Falls On New York Apartment Building
In the second such incident within the last week, a giant crane fell onto an apartment building in New York City, causing extensive damage, and leaving Mayor Michael Bloomberg with an enormou...
Ebony and Ivory miscast by Hollywood
Hollywood is misinformed about the number of white people who have blacks as best friends and should start portraying such relationships more realistically on TV and film, according to a report released by the National Alliance of Caucasians on Monda...
Mills gets £25million 'to keep her gob shut'
London - (Fetid Ass Mess): Heather Mills' £25million divorce settlement is forged on a lifetime gagging clause about the real authorship of Beatles lyrics accredited to the fraudulent Lennon/McCartney songwriting partnership.
Corporate Sponsorships Move From Sports to Cities
Corporations have, for several years, sponsored athletic events and named stadiums after themselves. Jack Murphy Stadium, named for a famous sports figure in San Diego history, became Qualcomm Stadium when that company offered millions to the city t...
Shannon Abducted By West Yorkshire Police
Shannon Matthews, the nine-year-old schoolgirl who was found by police after going missing for three weeks, has been abducted by the policemen that found her, according to reports from local residents.
Brad Pitt hates Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie - everyone
Straight out of the back seat of the yellow taxi comes the overwhelming truth that has the world reeling. For a Hollywood variation Brad Pitt is now the talk of the town.
World War 3 Will Be Completed In Time For Olympics
The Chinese government has made assurances to the International Olympic Committee (IOC) that the Tibetan Crisis is not really a crisis at all, and that should World War 3 break out in the next few we...
All Depressed Policemen to be Transferred to Bridgend
Chief Superintendent Plod the Spokesperson for the Association of Chief Police Officers, has announced that all depressed Policemen serving in the UK, would immediately be transferred to South Wales Police, and be based at Bridgend.
Basil Brush Apologises In BBC Race Row
Popular TV presenter Basil Brush was today embroiled in a sordid racism row which threatens to damage the reputation of the BBC establishment.
JP Morgan admit to error
In an startling news JP Morgan admits, due to a typing error, they have actually purchased the British survival expert Bear Grylls.
Part two: Olie, The Ole Married Man - Your Marriage Advice Columnist
Dear OTOMM,
I recently, well, really over the last ten years or so, spent tens of thousands of dollars for high-priced sex with hoes. I...
Stolen Oil Profits and Halliburton Without a Straw!
Great Green Gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts, mutilated monkey meat, pulverized porpoise puss, and me without a straw.
Philippines is sinking
MANILA, PHILIPPINES - Philippine President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo has already announced a moment ago that due to the worsening status of global warming here on earth, sea levels have increased by a great amount thereby making majori...
High-Priced Sex Entrepeneurs Tell It All!
When XXX-NYS Governor Eliot Spritzer's decade of sexsual sprit-ZING! was sprayed all over the news, Thespoof.com not excluded, high- priced hookers wanted to have their say. Thespoof.cum, sexsual department of the satirical website of a similar n...
McCain Imprisoned in the Baghdad Budget Inn!
In a terrible twist of fate, Arid Zona Senator, John "Son of Cain" McCain on a campaign trip to Iraq has been captured by insurgents and imprisoned in the cruelest hellhole next to US POW camp, Abu Graib.
McCain Goes to Iraq to Declare The Hundred Years' War!
Repub Candie John McCain, self-proclaimed foreign policy guru, visited Iraq for the umpteenth time. but this visit is different. Prior visitations involved investigations into troop strength or morale boosting drop-ins on soldiers.
All Hail OC Chairman Mickey Mao; Disneyland proposes new "You're Not the Boss of Me" city ordinance before the Anaheim City Council
Anaheim, California - Darkness once again dawns on the not so distant horizon. A stone's throw away, arising as always from where you would least expect it, this time the "Happiest Place on Earth." In the latest example of Orange County...
Mexican man still wishes to live in United States
(Tijuana, Mexico), Enrique Gonzales, a 33 year old Mexican laborer, says he would still like to live in the United States even though his country now has a higher standard of living.
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