Spoof news stories from Monday 10 March 2008
Kentucky introduces bill banning anonymous internet posting
WTVQ in Lexington, Kentucky recently reported that state representative Tim Couch wants to make anonymous internet posting illegal.
Blair trapped in same high class hooker sting that netted NY Gov Spitzer
London - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair is the latest victim of a huge international vice sting on the Emperor's Club VIP, a $2,000 per hour hooker club that has already netted New York Governor Eliot Spitzer.
Al Gore scores at Lahore whore store
Former US Deputy Al Gore was caught with his eye off the ball yesterday while on official business in Lahore, Pakistan.
Miley Cyrus dresses like a Vagina and Zac Efron dresses like a Cock
Teenagers all across the globe have been banned from accessing magazines, televison and their computers by frustrated parents following the leaking of an image of explicit images of Miley Cyrus and Zac Efron in '...
Don't Drink the Water
A recent study has shown, that there are drugs in our drinking water. America is not the only country this has happend to, it appears that almost all countries have this issue.
First Gay Turd Found
What has been though to be a 'gay' turd has been discovered by a trainee proctologist from Versailles. The turd was discovered in the 'Brown District' of Gay Paris last night.
Sex Scandal Links Enron, Micron Technology, Samsung Money with Prostitution Ring
NEW YORK - Some of the hundreds of millions of dollars in litigation penalties paid by major US corporations including Enron, Micron Technology and Samsung likely made its way to prostitutes charging as much as $5500 per hour.
Obama is Dark Lord, admits forging Ring of Power
Senator and Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama has privately confirmed his involvement in a sinister plot to overthrow international Forces of Good with the world's most Evil creation: the One Ring of Power.
Professor Gilgallygaggle Invents Funtasmitastic Thingamibob
Startled scientific writers were amazed at the unveiling of another incredible invention by genius scientist and all-round lovely man, Professor Gilgallygaggle from Harvard University.
Laura Bush's Pussy Goes Missing
In the early hours of the morning news broke that staff at The White House were in a state of panic as Laura Bush's pussy had gone missing.
Blogger to Orlando Bloom "I'm Sorry"
Entertainment blogger Lamey Spitajones writes an open letter apology to British actor Orlando Bloom for "toxic" remark she made on her site a year ago. On the blog, named after her, she writes how she was wrong about blaming him for Kate Bo...
Mystery of Camilla suicide cop excluded from Caribbean freebie
Wiltshire - (Rioters): Mystery surrounds the suicide of a police bodyguard found with fatal gunshot wounds at Camilla's Wiltshire house today.
Apocalypse hits UK
Britain is bracing itself for a further bout of Apocalypse and Armageddon tonight after millions of people were left wet and cold.
Goat has 'Oats' with Man
A goat has been found guilty of lewd behaviour after being caught having sexual intercourse in a shed with a man in Khartoum, Sudan.
9/11 Truth Movement Becomes Public Enemy Number ONE!
WASHINGTON D.C - FBI Chief Robert S. Mueller, III announced today that the entire 9-11 "Truth Movement" has secured the number one slot (just ahead of Usama Bin Laden) as the most vicious and heinous enemy to public safety...
Which Fat Bastard ate the Queen's Swans?
Sparks were flying at Buckingham Palace yesterday when the Queen was informed that somebody had eaten all her swans.
BBC Declares War on Germany
As if it's not busy in Iraq and Afghanistan, Britain will soon be facing another war with a former enemy - Germany.
50,000 Cheltenham punters stranded as storms wreak havoc with Irish ferries
Cheltenham - (Disaster Mess): Up to 50,000 Cheltenham Festival-bound Irish racegoers have been left stranded by the storm which threatens to deprive UK bookmakers of their annual mug-punters' £50 million rake-off.
Colombian-registered crack sub drifting in Thames estuary
London - (Ass Mess): A Colombian-registered nuclear powered crack cocaine-smuggling submarine The Kursk III is drifting dangerously in the Thames estuary.
Barbara Walters Autobiography Filled with Kinky Sex
(New York, NY) The publishing event of the year--the Barbara Walters autobiography-- will be released in April. The book is shocking; filled with tales of sex, sex, and more sex.
FA Cup To Be Seeded Next Season
The FA Cup, the world's most exciting football competition, is to be seeded next season in a bid to avoid the embarrassing situation that organisers have found themselves in this year, with only minnows
Taj White House?
Gerorge W Bush and indeed all of Washington was left totally speechless following the results of a recent archaeological dig. The archaeologists, who had originally set out on a small-scale search for Bronze Age relics, instead found something that w...
90% males are 50% female
What is "female" without the "male"? This isn't a question put up because it's "yes brainer" (as in opposite of "no brainer"), but because there is immense depth in these few words.
The Spoof to Sue the Sun Newspaper for Plagiarism
The Chief Executive Officer of The Spoof has announced that The Website is to sue The Sun Newspaper for Plagiarism.
Jersey Horror Dig Unearths Ned Kelly Bones
Police and forensic scientists digging at the site of the Jersey Horror Home have found, what they believe to be, the bones of infamous 19th-century Australian outlaw Ned Kelly.
Massive Storms Hit U.K- Huge Loss of Life and Property
A massive storm front swept across Britain last night causing a deluge of rain as 100 mile per hour winds ripped across cities the length and breadth of the country. Floods swept away up to 60 people in Wales alone, where the epicentre of the storm w...
English Cricketers Humiliated by Kiwis
One hundred eighty nine runs! That was the margin leaving British cricketers' mouths agape and bats adrippin'. Britain's crack cricketers looked right silly swinging and swishing at the Kiwis' pitches.
Red Phones, the new Princess of Phone Phasion
With all the talk of red phones around the Democandies campaign, telephone companies are predicting that their once top seller, the Princess phone, may have a 21st century rival. Red Light Districts are ordering them by the car-load and Vladmir Putin...
Hills, Bills and O! Bama
The roller coaster that has been the Democratic Primary season continues its insane loop de loop! The dnc, also known as dilation and cutter age, has announced that the new Democrat Presidential ticket will also be a fall season sit-com called
Huge European space garbage and toiletries truck launched into orbit
Europe's new ATV orbital garbage and supply ship launched yesterday from French Guiana on an urgent mission to resupply the space station with toilet paper and a few more of those tasty little mints to place on bed pillows.
Brett Favre Cries Like Baby
Grizzled Green Bay quarterback Brett Favre officially announced his retirement from the sport at a press conference a few days ago, but his speech was overshadowed by the discomfiting sight of a grown man expressing emotion and blubbering like a litt...
Wogans Spoon Gaffe
It has been revealed today, that Sir Terence Wogan has been bulk buying copious amounts, of peanut butter. It would seem, he has a particular craving for this spreadable delight.
NBA Stunned by BYU Racial Discrimination Lawsuit
The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) confirmed today that Brigham Young University (BYU) has filed a racial discrimination lawsuit against the NBA. BYU's claims allege that "the NBA was reticent in hiring proportionate percenta...
London Marathon granted shit and piss license
The London Marathon is to be granted a special license that will prevent runners from being prosecuted for defacating and urinating while completing the 26 mile course.
Sen. John McCain Adopts Col. Kurtz Apocalypse Now Personna
U.S. Presidential hopefull Senator John McCain appeared before the press and a large crowd in Pennsylvania yesterday dressed in a bright orange kaftan surrounded by a group of followers carrying automatic weapons and what seemed to be the severed hea...
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