Victims of last year's nationwide flooding have suffered unprecedented trauma that has led to some people developing a fundamental fear of water, rendering them unable to undertake routine tasks...
In order to placate the American public's fear that medical aid is not high on his agenda, President George W. Bush has issued the following statement.
Speaking from inside the Yaoundé Intel Basketball Arena in the capitol city of Cameroon, a spokesman for the Baka pygmy tribe addressed a gathering of American sports writers. The following is the verbatim transcript taken at that meeting.
Hollywood CA -- Angelina Jolie decided to give birth to her twins in Antarctica. She will have her children on the Ross Ice Sheet surrounded by squawking penguins and curious sea lions. The twins will be the first humans ever born on the Ice Continen...
Police and anti-crime protesters have called for the "Ermine 5" to be brought to justice. The gang have brought terror to many as they make decisions which fly in the face of common sense. It is thought that the gang are addicted to drugs-m...
Today the Chancellor of the Labour government, Alastair Darling, announced that 25 million pounds of taxpayers' money was being lost every day. 'Yes', he admitted, 'it's true! Nobody knows where it goes, it just disappears like ma...
The tennis world was stunned today when one of the leading women players chose to wear a pair of shorts.
Here are the Zimbabwean president's 10 favourite songs:...
London - (Tyrannical Mess): Whitehall irony watchers are twitching nervously ahead of Friday's Veterans Day festivities as Prime Monster Gorgon Brown's most terrifying legal adversaries prepare to sue the shit out of his one year'...
After polls indicate Presidential candidate John McCain is losing ground with Hispanic and African American voters, McCain announced the hiring of his newest campaign advisor, radio personality Don Imus.
A top Asian police officer in London today didn't make a claim of racial discrimination. Assistant Commissioner Tarique Ghaffur made the announcement on BBC Radio 4 that 'I'm not making any claim of discrimination, I'm just doing a paid job like a gr...
New Yawk NY-- The Phizzer Company's new pill--Exxxtend--has been giving remarkable results in early tests. The pill is designed to lengthen the penis. Some men have seen their members grow by as much as ten yards after only a few days on the pill!...
In a surprise move, FIFA today announced that the 2010 World Cup would be held in Zimbabwe.
In response to recent accusations of plagiarism, Dr Raj Persaud has told the press that he has removed the copy and paste keys from his computer (Control, C and V).
The much vaunted 'moving' skyscraper scheduled to be built in Dubai by 2010 has announced it will move to the popular Spanish resort of Benidorm.
African statesman, potential Nobel Peace Prize winner, despot and murderer Robert Mugabe was today initiated into the International Anagram Hall of Fame.
Amstetten, Austria - (Lurid Mess): Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl's hellish concentration camp basement is to be moved lock, stock and fetid barrel to Kentucky's Creation Museum.
Popular supermarket chain Cesto has unveiled plans to screen pornographic material within all of it's UK stores.
A former Vicar from Grimsby is taking Arab terrorist organisation Al-Qaeda to the European Court of Human Rights.
Rome - (God's Banker Mess): Nobody in the Vatican has broken out in giant oozing pustules all over their fetid Nazi body" amid reports a new witness to the 1983 murder of a fifteen year-old Vatican girl will testify against him.
Henman Hill, that last bastion of Englishness, is to be renamed Eaton Enclave after yesterday's unexpected Triumph of the Will of Chris Eaton, over Serbian Boris Pashankovichski...
Omaha, Nebraska - In an unlikely event, the actor chosen to play Anakin Skywalker's deaf brother Wayne in an upcoming TV mini-series "The Skywalkers", was Local fry cook Rodney Simon.
Paul Ince, the new Blackburn Rovers manager, today vowed to return the club to its successful, heady days of the early 90s when it won the Premiership title, also promising to bring in countless Black Players, to mak...
Yesterday Gordon Brown who has just served twelve disastrous months as Prime Minister and Leader of the Labour Party appointed Mr Monkey Woods has his Spin Doctor in a vain attempt to win back the confidence of the British Electorate.
Fort Collins, CO - On Wednesday night at 8:15 p.m., CSU students Vicki Bell, Damon Thompson, and Reginald Bale successfully initiated and completed a threesome.
Salt Lake City, Utah - In an attempt to make the beehive states already confusing liquor laws even more mind blowing, Utah governor Hyrum Smith III introduced the "Sippy-cup law".
After Shaquille O'Neal's racy rap that called out former teammate Kobe Bryant, his special deputy badge was taken away from him by the Maricopa County Sheriff. This enraged many people because they thought Shaq was just being funny and didn&#...
Doctors treating TV vixen Heather Locklear say she is still incredibly sexy and hot despite being hospitalized in an Arizona facility for anxiety and depression.
New York - Now that hot summer days are upon us those well-off look forward to a weekend in the Hamptons or Poconos. Rising costs of living have led to a novel exchange program to make summer holidays more affordable for all, remarkably even...
New York, NY - Today it was announced that radio shock-jock Don Imus will be stripped of everything black.