Spoof news stories from Wednesday 18 June 2008
Big Brother Alex Thrown Out Of House For Being A Gangsta
Alexandra de-Gale, the Big Brother negress who has been shown the most disrespect in the entire history of Black People, has been thrown out of the House for allegedly making a claim that she is a gangsta
New Alternative Energy Source: Your Own Blood!
A brand new, efficient fuel for our energy addicted nation - Blood. This new idea is coming straight from the scientists right here in our own city, Hell Hole, Texas!...
Ikea shares plummet as same-sex couples now expected to register at Wal-Mart, Kmart and the Piggly Wiggly
Los Angeles, California - As same-sex couple gain mainstream acceptance in society, companies like Ikea, which were among the first corporations to advocate homosexual rights by running TV and print media ads featuring a gay couple selecting furnitur...
Massive police manhunt for felons who sang their way out of Jail
In what they are calling "Operation Find the Lyrical Gangsters," Scotland Yard yesterday launched an intensive search to locate four convicted criminals who crooned their way out of heavily guarded Belmarsh high security prison.
Miley plans on quitting Hannah Montana
Our very own reporter, Debbie Greene recently sat down with Miley on set of her new Hannah Montana movie for a heart-to-heart talk. Tish, and dogs joined in.
Big Brother Sex Orgy Pulled As It Wasn't Disgusting Enough
Today's controversy in the Big Brother house centred around a Sex Orgy Task that had to be edited-out of highlights as it was nowhere near disgusting enough.
Lakers coach punches out reporter
In a shocking turn of events Lakers head coach Phil Jackson punched out a reporter from ESPN.
Al-Qaeda Asks for Congressional Funding
Al-Qaeda sent a letter to Congress requesting $2 billion in funds in continuing the war in Iraq. A spokesperson for the terrorist organization said that funds are low and they need the money to help President Bush continue the war.
Martinism grows
The antics of Chris Martin, the lead singer of popular beat combo Cold-play have led to a number of copy cat incidents.
CNN and ABC News To Be Moved To Children's Channels
American news networks CNN and ABC News are to be moved to children's channels.
Kiddies TV channel spokesman Phil Smith said: 'Yes, we've bought up CNN to air at our prime time of 5 til 7, for the 10 to 14 year-olds. We're confident that such simp...
Ugly Women are to be banned from the City of London unless they wear a Bhurka
On Sky Television News today Boris Johnson the new Mayor of London announced that from next Month all ugly women entering the City of London must wear a Bhurka.
Who Are Hull City?
Football fans in Scotland, Ireland, Wales, the south of England, and in fact in every part of England outside Yorkshire, were scratching their heads and asking: 'Who are Hull City?'...
Dems Bulldozed
Following the 2006 Mid Term Elections the Democrats had constructed a commune on the Great Lawn in Washington D.C.
BT to make announcement
Fears over the safety of 600 call centre jobs at British Telecom appear to have been eased with management executives saying that an announcement will be put on hold.
US Attacks Iran; Martial Law Declared; 4 More Years of Bush?!
As of noon today the United States of America is under martial law. This action was taken this day at 6 AM June 18, 2008 when the US military invaded Iran.
Rap is 'not crap' says Lil' Wayne
American rap star Lil' Wayne today claimed that rap 'is not crap'.
CIA psychopath advised Pentagon on torture denial
Washington AC/DC - (OMFG Mess): 'Torture is largely interrogation foreplay' was the official mantra of a top CIA lawyer advising Pentagon stooges on sucking up to rabid warmongering Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld the Senate Armed Services...
Police Investigate One Of Their Own In Hooligan Incident
West Midlands Police are investigating one of their own officers, after CCTV footage of a pitch invasion at a Birmingham City game at the end of last season revealed a familiar face.
Baboons To Drive Edinburgh Buses
Today in Scotland's capital city of Edinburgh, its major bus company Lothian Buses announced that they were replacing their drivers with baboons.
MCC Outlaws Kevin Pietersen's New Grip
The MCC has announced that, after much deliberation and soul-searching, it considers the new grip used by England cricketer Kevin Pietersen to be unfair, and has banned players from using it.
Pietersen was told earlier this week, that his switch-...
Wimbledon 2008 a strain on the NHS
The annual Lawn Tennis spectacular at Wimbledon looks set to place a particular strain on NHS services this year, with demand for ambulances, heart pacemakers, defibrillators and ACE inhibitors looking set to outpace supply.
Reggie Kray's Skeleton Escapes
Police have launched a massive nationwide hunt following the announcement that the skeleton of Britain's most notorious criminal mastermind Reggie Kray has escaped from a London cemetery and was last seen hitchhiking to Cornwall.
Nintendo Announce Dr Kawashima's Potty Training
Fresh after the success of 'Brain Training', 'Brain Training 2' and 'Learn To Cook Food in the Kitchen Training', Dr Kawashima's latest offering is targeting mothers of the videogaming world, which make up a staggering 0.0...
Ministry of Stripteasing Finds Fault with School Uniform Burlesque!
British broadcasting has recently been tightening up on their standards for stripteasing; thus the establishment of the Ministry of Strip teasing.
NFL Influences UK Football for the Bad!
US National Football League ruffians have been dragged into court for any and all manner of high crimes and misdemeanors. These American "rude footballers" have assaulted, drugged and raped their way into prisons and penitentiaries and comm...
Bush, Brown and Sarkozy: White Men Can Jump!!!
On the Bush Failed Well Euro tour 2008, leaders of France, the UK and of course, the US of A worst President ever, George W Bush have gotten their groove on by jumping all over Iran.
AskFrFred44giveness Seen Protesting California Gay Marriage Ceremony
Picture the poor soul at the gay marriage ceremony of two octogenarian lesbians who have been together for more than half a century. There he stands armed with his preprinted placard reading: "Homosex is a Sin!"...
California Comes Out of Depression: Gayconomy!
Gayconomy has struck the Golden State! While states straight across the US of Hetereosexsuality are malingering in the quagmire of Bush domestic and foreign policy, the state of the golden boys and girls is booming with the gaynomic stimulus of gay m...
Similarities and Differences Between McBush and Somanabush
The TheSpoof.com political analyst, Cora Uption, discusses the similarities and the differences between McCain and Bush:...
China Persuaded by Bush to Choose Socialism and Dictatorship!
Bush misadministration failures have pushed China's steps toward free market capitalism and democracy back in the direction of socialism and dictatorship.
Gullible English believe that the Stone of Scone is the real one
In 2008, despite it being common knowledge in Scotland for over 50 years, gullible English people still believe that the Stone of Scone is the real one.
Hull City - Club Record Transfer Deal Imminent
Football's most wanted manager, Hull City's Phil Brown is thought to be about to shatter the record fee ever paid by Hull City. The clubs two previous million pound plus purchases, Dean Marney and Caleb Folan have proved their worth but if Hu...
Surgeon General's Messages
Washington DC: The Surgeon General announced today that a new set of realistic warning messages will be placed on billboards around the nation.
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