Scientists working on research into the effects of Global Warming have said that they believe the climate of the Earth is being altered due primarily to the excessive use of toilet paper.
The BBC has announced that Paul O'Grady, the chat show host and 'comedian' responsible for ugly Liverpool slagbag Lily Savage, is to be the new face of the Ten O'Clock News after he was made an MBE in...
Wayne Rooney and his new wife Coleen are at the centre of a huge health scare tonight, after it was announced that the unlucky pair have tested positive for Foot & Mouth disease.
Miami, Florida - You can imagine the surprise Dan Wilkins, 42 (father of three small children), had when he was suddenly awaken by the point of a cold knife held to his neck while he was sound asleep in bed early Sunday morning.
It was bound to happen. If you can't nail a Presidential candidate in a vocal or written faux pas, then, certainly, the next best thing is the spouse, especially if he or she is a good friend of the microphone on the Presidential stump to the Whi...
Petrol prices in the UK have reached unbelievable levels due to yesterdays declaration that there is only enough oil left in the world to last another three weeks.
Barack Obama is not really coloured, it was claimed today.
It was announced today that Robert Mugabe will be the next President of the USA.
Speaking from his run-down farm near Harare, Mr Mugabe said: 'Yes, the FBI got in touch with me this morning. They said they wanted someone who could rig elections, f...
Zac Efron has shocked family, friends and fans alike by his new choice of companion.
The Republic of Ireland today voted 'No' in the vote about its future in the European Union, but it was ironic that Ireland itself is still divided with a border, unlike the nations of the mainland EU.
(London, England) - Caught frolicking naked on her college grounds, Britain's Princess Eugenie says she did it to connect with commoners and to "show off my naughty bits, of which I am quite proud."...
American President George W Bush today did a day's work, the first in his short and uneventful life, as he usually just sits around watching sports on TV and drinking Jack Daniels with ice. Of course, he occasionally reads a speech on an autocue, but...
Today, Guantanamo Publications brought at a new version of its famous encyclopedia, and here are a few of its revised entries:...
This morning's revelation that Robert F. Kennedy, who died on the night when the Democratic presidential nomination came within his grasp 40 years ago, and Barack H. Obama, who was only six years old at the time are not, in fact, the same person...
A bill to extend the rights of men to stare at women's breasts for up to 42 days has narrowly been passed by the House of Commons. Many of those who suggested that Gordon Brown's ability to stay on as Prime Minister rested with the controver...
The annual Trooping the Colour in London was abandoned halfway through the event this morning, when Her Majesty the Queen yawned, and swallowed a fly.
At a BP service station in England today, an American tourist filled up a badger with 5-star super unleaded.
Speaking from his car, Andrew Thomson said: 'Yep, I keep forgettin' that these crazy limeys use different words for things, it's damn' con...
Vatican - (Holy Ass Mess): The Pope yesterday conferred the Vatican's highest military honor on President George W Bush and awarded him the Holy Swastika Medal for services to gagging the God's Banker murder probe that conceal Joseph Ratzinge...
After controversies over racism, sexual behaviour and violence, BB9 was facing new calls last night to regulate itself after contestants were asked, as part of a weekly task, to remove their own intestines in order to provide a better shopping budget...
Whorse Guards Parade, London - (Spotty Ass Mess): Up and coming Hellfire Club tribute artiste Princess Eugenie has celebrated the Queen's Official Birthday Suit Parade with a naked split beaver fly-past photo-montage opportunity.
In a hard-fought battle between final contenders Dudley in the West Midlands, the Liverpool Borough of Toxteth, the London Borough of Tower Hamlets and Manchester's Moss Side, Dudley has won funding to house the National Hubcap Museum.
The decisio...
Fabio Capello, the England football manager, now speaks English to a better standard than many native-born UK residents, according to me.
Massachusetts Governor, Deval Patrick, the first African-American to lead the state has told the press that his lesbian daughter has announced that she is black.
These statistics apparently do not lie. The US of A is seen in a more positive light across the world: Mexico and Tanzania up 9%, Argentina and Nigeria 6%,Poland, China and India 7%, Lebanon 4%, Russia 5%, South Korea a whopping 12%.
Ads across all possible media have been blaring the shocking message that families across America should get Dad a Hummer for Father's day. The advertisements have been denounced in churches and synagogues and mosques across the US of A. Even fem...
Media majors' mens' fraternity MSNBC has been shut down after its frequent and vulgar attacks on one particularly smart and assertive woman.
Bush, having learned some anti-democracy lessons from his favorite Pakistani dictator, Pervez Musharraf, dissolved the US Supreme Court today after they decided that human rights in Gitmo are covered by the Constitution.
Washington DC, August 2008: The Republican National Convention being less than one month away, Senator McCain has finally selected his vice presidential running mate.
Seven scientists paid to find a cure for mad cow disease simply sat on their back sides and did jack shit for almost a decade.