There was dramatic news for chip-lovers this afternoon, when John McCain revealed that from September, his convenience food company will cease to produce the tasty, fast food potato treats.
Nuno Betancourt the former Extreme guitarist has been released by Colombian Fark rebels. He is expected to begin working on a new album of insipid ballads in the next week.
There was disappointment on Centre Court tonight, as the Andy Murray Crowd failed to live up to its previous high standards, underperforming to such an extent, that Murray was buried by number 2 seed Rafael Nadal.
Dirty Central, Alabama - The Deputy Sheriff, Sergeant Piggers, has said a giant fire has amassed near a slew of mobile home trailers at 8pm, endangering every concerned property owner in the area.
Richard Dawkins the British Atheist and free thinker has revealed that he was behind the global creationist movement, shocking supporters and right wing rednecks alike.
Able Seaman Prince William the second-in-line to the Throne has been banged up in Kingston Jail, Barbados after being caught by the Barbarian Navy of smuggling £40million worth of Cocaine.
Starbucks, the Seattle based coffee house chain has announced it will close 600 stores and axe 12,000 staff in an effort to leave more room for milk.
Washington, D.C.- At the White Press Conference this afternoon, President George Bush announced his plan to combat global warming. The plan, entitled "Fuck Al Gore," calls for the designing of 2 large-scale air conditioning units, one plac...
New research from American scientists has suggested that Romans could not sail against the tide in their ships, and that the dates attributed to their 55 BC landings in southern England are wrong.
Radio personality Don Imus shocked listeners recently when he said he didn't like peanut butter, or as he put it, "that sticky oily stuff" that he claimed adheres to the roof of his mouth.
London - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Relentless self-publicising entertainer Madonna is set to dump her gormless husband Guy Twitchy and get hitched to Yohane Banda, father of her adopted son David.
In a surprise move, the Queen's husband Prince Philip entered the US Presidential election today, as an independent candidate.
When asked why was doing such a thing, he said 'Well, the fools can only spell X, so they may as well spell it for me, t...
Caribbean - (Huge Ass Mess): A right royal storm has broken out after an unnamed sailor on HMS Iron Puke was found to be carrying 'up to five kilos of high grade cocaine' up his arsehole today.
Joey Barton, the Newcastle United player who was found guilty on Monday of assaulting one of his ex-teammates whilst he was at Manchester City, has decided to give up playing football, and to turn, instead, to
SHARM EL-SHEIK, Egypt. News leaked to a reporter covering the African Union summit has implicated foul play in the mystery illness of Zambian President Levy Mwanawasa. He was rushed to hospital on Sunday and the head of the Egyptian hospital where he...
Many Hillary Clinton supporters still have a problem supporting Barrack Obama.
Cheyenne WY, July 1, 2050: Today the Governor of Wyoming officially opened the last remaining section of the Wyoming Area Intrastate Public Transit Initiative (WAPITI) subway system.
Philadelphia PA -- Condoleeza Rice abruptly left a security conference here today drenched in tears. The conference was between the NSA, FBI, DHS and other agencies about the catastrophic space alien invasion expected 08/08/08 at precisely 08:08:08 G...