Israel - (Reuterus & Bad Ass Mess): Pleading jet (s)lag and a pinched nerve in his abdomen, President Bush somehow managed to persuade Israeli PM Ehud Olmert today to take him to a holistic Tel Aviv brothel run on Kabbalistic principles by singer Ma...
Hampstead, North London - (Sad Ass Mess): There's no fool like an old fool. And Lev Leviev, Israel's top diamond geezer, has fallen for the oldest estate agency trick in the world and bought a hideous pile of tacky tat in North London's...
Embarking on his first ever visit to the Middle East, George Bush has admitted that he is the biggest threat to world peace.
John McCain successfully bused in enough illegal aliens from neighboring states to win the New Hampshire primary. He has already sent them down the road to Michigan for a second round. "Romney hasn't seen anything yet, we got a convoy going!...
OTTAWA, Canada - A Government White Paper has been leaked, outlining a draft for Canada to buy the United States. The plan contends that the strength of the loonie, the country's proven oil reserves, its unlimited natural resources and strong fis...
Pahokee, Florida (IPP) - Dr. Upp Chuck's latest book on how to meet women has hit the top of the best seller's list this week as both men and women flock to bookstores trying to find a copy of the popular book.
Hollywood, California - Just moments after a representative for the Spears family, appeared on the "Today" show, accusing Dr. Phil of betraying Britney and the Spears' family trust, lawyers for the Spears filed for a temporary restraini...
Jerusalem - George W Bush presented a radically new plan for Mideast peace today.
London - (Reuterus): Desperate royal wannabe Kate Middleton spent her 26th birthday in the Chelsea Snatch & Scrot-Rot Clinic after returning from a break in Barbados covered in green oozy pustules.
Con-nought Square, London - (Worse Ass Mess): After years of wriggling, denials, hideous obfuscations and downright massive Opus Dei whoppers ex-UK Prime Monster has admitted that the current elder son of the Pretender to the Throne, Prince William,...
London - (Bad Ass Mess): All members of the IRA puppet monarchy were routinely bugged by the Anti-Terror cops to stop them murdering one another according to testimony in the Princess Diana inquest today.
WASHINGTON - The House Oversight Committee plans to hold hearings on January 16, 2008 into the illegal use of steroids and other enhancing substances by players in Major League Baseball. Current players, Andy Pettitte, Roger Clemens, Andy Knoblauch a...
Kabul Afghanistan (MSNBC) - Due to the skyrocketing costs of running a Jihad new Al-Qaeda CTO (Chief Terrorism Officer) Al Abama Schawama has inked a deal with New Dehli based Rajhans Industries to manufacture their IED's (Improvised Explosive De...
Concord, New Hampshire (IPP) - A hot air balloon enthusiast has successfully filled a hot air balloon by playing a cassette recording of the presidential candidates speeches into the opening of a hot air balloon.
London - (Reuterus): Giant replicas of Princess Diana's fanny, Heather Mills' missing leg and a sunbed-ready Camilla are on the Culture Secretary's shortlist to grace Trafalgar Square's empty plinth.
Hopes of a fairy tale outcome in the US presidential elections were boosted yesterday when Hillary Clinton, the nice-looking white female, soared to victory in the Hampshire election.
Emma Watson, the teenage Harry Potter sensation, is set to play the teenage Maddie McCann in a new musical that's going to sweep the box office this spring. The blockbuster, directed by Love Actually's Richard Curtis, will al...
In an unprecedented move, the Belgian government has decided to cede sovereignty to its former colony of the Belgian Congo, now the Democratic Republic of Congo. Belgian diplomatic sources claimed the deal could be wrapped up as soon as next month.
Police yesterday stormed the homes of violent football hooligans, trashing flimsy council front doors across the country in a bid to put Britons worst off-pitch offenders being bars...
After years of drunkenly stumbling around clubs and landing face down in the gutter as paparazzi snap away, rapidly thinning B-list actress Tara Reid now insists on being carried wherever she goes.