Sordid Arabia - (AssoCIAted Mess): George W Bush is to be honored in Ancient Roman fashion during his continuing tour of oil-rich Middle Eastern despotic kleptocracies.
London, England - Research on primates, our closest relatives, has revealed a startling connection between the sexual behavior of female monkeys and that of women: both species fake orgasms during sexual intercourse with their male counterparts.
Someone once advised to practice what you preach. In an effort to get the electorate to follow the leader, Gordon "Frankenstein" Brown has offered to donate his organ upon his death.
After the death of his pet poodle, Kevin Federline, ex husband of Britney Spears has announced to the world that he is going to start up a coffin making factory in the southern parts of Detroit.
Having not much to do because of industrial action in other countries, Portuguese air traffic controllers scannned the airwaves. Apart from the usual 'Find Madeline' broadcasts, the BBC World Service and the occasional inbound flight to the A...
The London Olympics scheduled for 2012 may have to be cancelled if the European Commission is successful in the legal challenge it is bringing against the UK government.
A government study involving data from the answer papers of over 200,000 pupils has shown a dramatic correlation between exam results and academic success. It also seems to prove conclusively that only those children who get the best grades can be d...
Following the successful completion of the rebranding of the McCanns in Portugal, it has today been revealed that the Team McCann brand has also been overhauled in Spanish territories too.
Jacksonvile Florida - Dwayne Jenkins, 27 a local self proclaimed 'dreamer' spent the entire afternoon on his couch smoking marijuana and listening to the song 'Lust for life' by rock musician Iggy Pop from the album of the same name.
News emerged today that award winning Lisbon based design agency E-Nova have been retained by the Find Madeleine fund to undertake a ground up rebranding exercise of key elements of Team McCann in order to increase their appeal in the Portuguese mark...
New Delhi, India- (World Muse Bureau): Cherie Blair, wife of former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, today converted to Hinduism. She visited the famous Akhshardham temple in New Delhi and took part in the traditional ceremony.
71 year old presidential candidate John McCain, recently won the New Hampshire Primary. Insiders with McCain's campaign say his success has to do with his new "turn down your music, young people" strategy.
Let's face it. I don't have a lot going in my life, so later today when I install my new shower curtain, I will live on that accomplishment for a week. Some people are multi-taskers. They can juggle a bunch of stuff into a day's life and still get the kids home from soccer practice, fry up a decent dinner for the husband, and then sexulate him once the kids are asleep (I hope to God. P...
David Beckham's ego had to be given life saving resuscitation after the legendary fashion icon heard that the "Golden Globes" were cancelled. Beckham, also known as "Golden Balls" had recently learned the word globe in his Eng...
London - (Bad Ass Mess): Serial fraudster and self-confessed Diana fellater Paul Burrell is testifying at the Princess's inquest for an undisclosed fee according to Royal Courts of Justice sources.
The BBC has found itself at the centre of a new row, just weeks after the highly damaging scandals of "Queen tantrum gate", "Name of kitten-gate" and "getting people to phone in and charging them even though they stand no cha...
South Carolina - On the heels of a stunning defeat in the New Hampshire primary the Paul candidacy came forward today with an even more stunning revelation. It appears that negotiations are "in the works" to enlist porn legend Mary Carey t...
Oldfactory publishing came up with yet another solution today for packaging a really old book, the bible, and making it seem new again.
Los Angeles - (Reuterus): An extraterrestrial inseminator is the prime paternity suspect today following reports that Christina Aguilera and Nicole Ritchie both gave birth at the same time in adjacent delivery rooms and the Seedy Signs Maternity Clin...
I have a real hate/hate relationship with telephones. Whether they are at work, at home, in other people's pockets, whatever...I can't stand the things.
London - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): MI5 top brass has given the nod for a policy revamp of automatic organ donation without anaesthetic for all bent public officials.
Henry Fayol (1841-1925), a French management theorist, said, "(An administrator) is somewhat similar to the conductor of a good orchestra -- he sets the score. But each player plays his own instrument." In movies, the music conductor and/or his instrumentalists can be acted out by actors. In sports, an athlete such as Marion Jones can win unprecedented five medals from the 2000 Olympic Games in Sy...
eBay - He dances, he sings, he cooks, and even cleans! He's the ever so wonderful, ever so eventful Michael Jackson. And he's up for auction on eBay!...
LONDON, England - A proposal by Gordon Brown allowing hospitals to take organs from dead patients without their explicit consent has critics saying it doesn't have a leg to stand on. It is to be modelled after a program in Spain...
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - Forced drugging; sexual degradation; being submitted to prison food; and broken toilet flushes going unfixed. This is but a fraction of the inhumane activity rumored to have occurred within the closely guarded walls of Guantan...
In a rapidly breaking story, it appears that many leading GOP politicians have been injured in an apocalyptic fire at a hitherto unknown "Snake Complex", including the long-shot racist candidate
I.T Expert "Jim Walker", a 22-year old resident of Washington D.C reports, "This morning when I woke up, I found a virus in my heavily-protected computer! Before the virus could do any damage, though, my anti-virus cleaned it. I tried...
TEHRAN (FMLiveWire) - The US navy has sponsored popular speedboat racing by Iranian navy enthusiasts in the Straits of Hormuz area of the Persian Gulf.
Berlin,Germany - The European Union was rocked today by the surprising and pointless surrender of France to Germany. No reason was given by the French government for the peculiar move as the French President had only this to say, "Today, we ful...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Despite facing a barrage from the liberal media of late, the Central Intelligence Agency remains adamant that two videotapes it destroyed in 2005 did not contain any evidence of agency operatives engaging in the torture of detainee...
New Mexico Governor and former U.N Ambassador and Energy Secretary Bill Richardson has withdrawn his name from the Presidential race. The Democrat was the only prominent candidate from either party that had a Hispanic background. Now, others seekin...
Nevada - Hillary Clinton fresh from her victory in New Hampshire where her watering eyes convinced thousands to support her, has vowed to make tears a part of her campaign. But will the strategy backfire in Nevada?...
How did that happen?...