NEW YORK -- After one year - how time flies, it just seems like yesterday,of the Presidential candidates roaming the country for support in an election, which is eleven months away, WTF NEWS in New York sent a reporter to ask the following question:
CAN-BOORA, AUSTRALIA: Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, Aussie cricket players succeeded in taking this 'gentleman's game' to unbelievable lows this month during matches against India.
TEMPE, AZ -- Scientists and language professors at Arizona State University have joined forces to take the ambiguity out of the use of the word "fuck".
WASHINGTON, DC -- While addressing a meeting of the Office of Drug Control Policy (ODCP), health specialist Jacqui Chan warned of a potential epidemic of abusing what she called the next meth or crack cocaine, jenken.
Recall, if you will, a pan shot - the camera moving slowly and surely across a plate of fancies in a Boston tea shop. The light slants in at an angle, bisecting the angel cakes as the face of Katherine Hepburn looms into view like a Spanish omelette. The camera now zooms in on her mouth as she takes a bite from a mini-roll - the camera, it seems, is moving towards those lips. Now it's insid...
Teen disney superstar Zac Efron finally has something to say to the media concerning the claims of a female co-star, who told TheSpoof.com that Efron always walks around without knickers on in the morning.
"Cant a guy get a little breeze down ther...
SOUTH CAROLINA - DEEP SOUTH USA - As a badly bruised and discredited US media tried to pick itself up the floor following the N. Hampshire prognostication gone wrong, there was more shocking news on the horizon.
Mathematicians at Harvard University have announced that one of the most perplexing numerical problems ever posed has finally been solved. The conundrum that has appeared in academic literature since the 14th century was finally cracked by a team of...
Gordon Brown and Alastair Darling are to star in a special episode of the popular science fiction series Dr Who. The duo are set star as members of a strange race, "The Scots", which infiltrate English society in a subtle attempt to rule th...
There were rumors about the New Hampshire voting technology before the primary, and when Hillary Clinton won after being polled twelve points behind by her own people, curious minds, without dandruff, started scratching their collective heads.
Washington D.C.- Did you have fun last year? If you did, it could cost you! Congress is trying to pass a measure that would tax people's fun. Sen. Pat Leahy D-VT, is the bill's sponsor.
(New York-NY) We never thought Ed would agree to it, and it's not like you haven't e-mailed us about bringing on a younger co-host. So meet Amber Colt. Now, you, yes YOU, decide if Amber should come back or not. Wherever you're viewing this, please vote by leaving a comment or e-mail on the site. Thanks!...
Washington AC/DC - (Ass Mess): "It's gonna be bad, bad, bad if the Clintons get their snouts in the trough once again," Federal Reserve chief Ben Bernanke said today.
In order to improve the club's fortunes this season, Newcastle chairman Mike Ashley has suggested that the 1994 film "The Shawshank Redemption" might be the ideal choice to replace Sam Allardyce, who was sacked this week.
Citing potential statistics on Global Warming, environmentalist champion Al Gore challenged the world to halt production of carbonated beverages such as soda and beer. "We must reduce unnecessary CO2 emissions," droned Gore, sipping a flat...
London - (Worse Ass Mess): The Governor of the Bank of England said today that he has become the latest credit card ID fraud victim after somebody cloned his identity, obtained over £60 billion "and gave it all away to the Northern Crock Bank.&q...
Crawford, TX -- The Bush Administration announced today that hurricane names shall henceforth commemorate key members and incidents in its administration.
Wales is preparing itself for a new generation of nuclear power stations after Gordon Brown listened to critics who said new stations will be expensive, dirty, and dangerous, and decided to put them in Wales.
Washington D.C. (Washington Post) - President Bush's meeting with Palestinian leaders and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas got off to a great start yesterday. On an impromptu conference call with Israeli and Iranian leaders the group came to a...
Off The Wall Street, NYC - (Bad Ass Mess): Ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair is set to become a banker (sic) following reports he has joined the board of Northern Crock's parent company in New York.
Barack Obama was riding high into New Hampshire, confident of repeating his Iowa victory over Hillary Clinton. "I'm young, I'm black, I'm articulate, I'm telegenic, I'm minimally qualified. How can I not beat the bitch again?...
Seattle, Washington - In response to McDonalds announcement that it has changed it menu for the first time in 30 years to include free Wi-Fi Internet access and over rated gourmet coffee, Starbucks also announced changes to its own menu as well. Star...
The Baseball Hall of Fame finally selected Goose to join the Bambino, the Say Hey Kid, and The Duke. His bust will now adorn the same hallowed halls that hold the Yankee Clipper, the Splended Splinter, Mickey, and Hammerin' Hank.
In the wake of the beginning of the primary/caucus season, Senator Ted Kennedy has made is usual announcement: "If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve."...
A small town in Nevada ravaged by flooding has become the victim of the latest White House goof. Instead of receiving the assistance and funding that residence need to hold back the waters and rebuild after the storms, they are instead, apparently,...
NEW YORK, NY (AP Newsliar) - An early version of Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" has been discovered in the upper west side building where the famed American poet and author once lived.