Spoof news stories from Wednesday 27 February 2008
Earthquakes: 'Why don't you name us? Is that too much to ask? Just give us names.'
Many earthquakes have stepped forward to question why they are not given names much like their natural disaster cousins-the hurricane.
Things Recquired on Applications
This is a list of things that need to be put on applications, to better separate people from each other.
Journal of Macho Hits On Men's Sexual Concerns Regarding Women
In the upcoming April, 2008 issue of the prestigious "Journal of Macho," an article by Dr. Zauber Flöte provides critical information as to why men have a ball-busting time with women sexually.
Our Esteemed Duncan Whitehead
Duncan is an amazing person. He's witty, he's funny and he is very smart. He appreciates the finer things in life. He also knows a good thing when he sees it. He speaks the truth with sincere honesty.
Harry Potter under fire from Ministry of Magic
It appears that the authoress of the Harry Potter series, and her rival religious factions, have come under fire of the Ministry of Magic. It seems that the books on Harry were not Ministry approved, and they are appalled that J.K. would tell the wor...
Ralph Nader Chooses Joe Lieberman as Running-Mate
WASHINGTON, DC -- About a week after the nation let out a collective groan at the announcement that Ralph Nader was running for President of the United states yet again, very few people acted surprised when earlier today Nader declared that he had ch...
TheSpoof.com to open new toll-free "1-800-How Am I Writing" phone line to encourage even more reader feedback and participation
London, England - We have all seen them on the back of commercial trucks (Lorries). Stickers that encourage people on the road to call "1-800-How Am I Driving" to report any driver irregularities. Well, now readers at TheSpoof.com will have...
Hillary Finally Gets Bill Back
Multiple photos have been released of Hillary Clinton leaving Barack Obama's house in the early morning hours. Last night, she released why.
British Whorse Society Thrilled As Daniel Radcliffe Named West End Naked Newcomer of the Year for Equus Role
London - (Bare Ass Mess): Harry Potter actor Daniel Radcliffe has been honored by the British Whorse Society's top gong, the West End Naked Newcomer of the Year, for his nude torso role in Equus.
Kate Bosworth is a Prisoner
Kate Bosworth is a prisoner. It's a guilded cage for sure, but she's a prisoner. The starlet of Blue Crush has become a pawn in the hands of a mysterious and powerful woman. That woman by the name of Robin Baum (know as Darth Baum to many) has her under her thumb and forces her to portray a certain image. We got a lot of anonymous tips from people who work and know Kate, however, they refu...
Obama leads Clinton, McCain among urban, suburban and turban voters.
After the big brouhaha raised by the release of a photograph showing Barack Obama in traditional Somali dress complete with headgear; and the ensuing howls of "racism" levelled by his camp against the Clintonites - comes wo...
Haut de la Garenne house of horrors: sniffer dogs tailing Bush sicken
St Helier, Jersey - (Abomination Mess): Police sniffer dogs at the former Haut de la Garenne child molester horror camp were taken violently ill today after being being given an old pair of y-fronts belonging to George W Bush.
Unfortunate Man's Life a "Misery"
A blind, mute, fingerless man has described how difficult his life has been in a fascinating new book.
Peter Pan:"I am finally able to get Neverland back!"
Much in the way that Michael Jackson had 'stolen' the Beatles out from under Paul McCartney, he had done the same to Peter Pan. In a savvy and brutal business manuever several years ago, Michael Jackson stole Neverland. He did this to his clo...
9/10 Cats Dislike Jimmy Carr
Jimmy Carr was announced as one of the hated men alive in a poll of wild urban cats. They believe that his TV show 9/10 cats is insulting and derogatory. Carr was unavailable for comment yesterday but was said to be in a cat-astrophic state of despai...
The English are snobbish, arrogant, pompous, two-faced, emotionally retarded, ignorant, thick, lazy, happy living on the state, foot-in-mouth, absolute plonker and his woman
From my many travels and several posts abroad, the general consensus throughout the World is that the English are just about the most unpopular race and the last people you would ever wish to meet.
Florida Announces Key Viagra
Florida Governor Charlie Crist announced today that Islamorada, one of the Florida Keys, is being renamed Key Viagra. The change is expected to boost tourism both by addressing fears about Muslims and by encouraging tourists interested in improving t...
Nuts To Complain About TV Commercial
A TV advert for Nutella has had to be cut because the advertising watchdog ruled it exaggerated the hazelnut spread's nutritional value. The advertisement maintains that adding it to toast can produce a balanced breakfast.
Michael Jackson To Sell Neverland
Michael Jackson, the failed pop star and suspected paedophile monster, is to auction-off his entire Neverland estate, estimated at $250million, to clear a debt he owes on the property.
North Koreans Hungry For Prog Rock
Rock icon Eric Clapton has been invited to play a concert in North Korea, an official of that country has announced to TheSpoof. If he accepts, it could open the door for other has-been Prog Rock musicians
Earthquake Could Have Been A Small Terrorist Bomb, Say Police
The earthquake tremors felt by many insomniacs across the UK on Tuesday, may actually have been the result of the early accidental demise at a Terror Training Camp, of a wannabe al-Qaeda terrorist, s...
Diana circus protesters scale House of Commons
London - (Contemptuous Mess): Over 500 anti-Princess Diana fiasco protestors have scaled the House of Commons and are encamped on the roof after a 1am earth tremor sent them scuttling for shelter.
Alex McLeish Defends Training With Cadavers
Alex McLeish, the Birmingham City manager, has defended a controversial training technique whereby players tackle dead bodies leading to the horrific injury to the Croatian national and Arsenal player Eduardo at the feet of Martin Ta...
Evolution Theory Debunked
Dr. Ivan Agenda, Professor Emeritus of Philosophical Twaddle at the Free University of Central Kansas (FUCK) revealed today that he now has incontrovertible proof that evolution theory is "a bunch of made-up crap".
Madonna's swansong album tribute to fraudster property developers
London - (Hardcore Ass Mess): Perennial peroxide entertainer Madonna-Kebab is to release her swansong album for Wannabe Brothers entitled Hardcore Candy - a tribute to UK fraudster property developers Nick and Christian Candy.
Bandar intervenes to save Jackson's Neverland dreams
Santa BarbaraWalters, Ca - (Thriller Ass Mess): Sordid Arabia's Prince Bandar has offered to pay tribute artiste Michael Jackson's debts after bailiffs threatened to auction his Neverland site and donate the proceeds to Unisyph.
Earthquake Rips Through UK As People Sleep On
A relatively massive earthquake measuring an enormous 5.3 on the Richter Scale has 'rippled' through the UK causing widespread joviality among residents the length and bread...
COBRA meets amid tsunami fears as Russian nuclear sub sinks off Grimsby coast
Menwith Hill - (Tectonic Mess): UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown has chaired an emergency COBRA meeting this morning following widespread tsunami fears.
Germany poised to reclaim lost war territories
Berlin - In a desperate bid to relaunch her dramatic slide in the opinion polls, Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany has indicated that she would be pressing for the restitution of Germany's lost territories at the end of the last World War.
FDIC Purchased by Taco Bell as Dead US Banks Soar
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - Fast food giant Taco Bell has purchased the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) as the number of effectively dead and insolvent American banks soars into the thousands.
'Toe-Tapping Larry' Seeks Dance Partner
(Washington) Idaho Potato Larry Craig is offering college seniors a rare summer-job opportunity: the chance to fetch coffee and tidy toilets in his Capitol Hill office while he fights to withdraw his Minnesota guilty plea.
Earthquake! - North-South Divide About to Get Bigger
The famous North-South divide in the U.K is about to get bigger as experts predict that the our little Island is being ripped in half by forces beyond our control.
Householders clear up after Earthquake
After most of England was hit by the biggest earthquake since the 1990 Barnsley "Big One" in the early hours of this morning, householders near the epicentre face the daunting task of clearing up.
Monica Ready For The Next Cigar, This Time, Half and Half
Ask Bill Clinton what the highlight of his Presidency was and he'll tell you it was sucking on a big fat cigar after a great political success and getting regular BJs from a chubby "Biblical" intern, Monica Lewinsky, sucking on Bill'...
Clemens, The New Incredible Hulk!
Only green with envy of those Major League Liars who had the good sense to shut up and stay away from Congress, Roger "Muscle-Bound, Family Guy" Clemens actually told a reporter that some people think that he is "sitting around with hi...
Democrat Debate Debacle
Home of the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame, Cleveland (named after the awesome cleavage of its first Governor's wife: Two-ton Tonia) became the site for sore eyes of the, perhaps, last democratic debate of the Primary season and a debatable debacle it...
Bushes Demand Name Change
Hedges, shrubbery and foliage of all sorts have begun in unprecedented to fashion to demand that they no longer be referred to as bushes.
Economists Find New Nomer For US Financial Disaster: Bushnation
You have heard of inflation, deflation, stagflation and depression but economists have been in search of a new name for the total wreck of an economy reeked by the Bush (worst president ever) regimen.
New Keats Poem Discovered
Archaeologists digging in London have discovered a book of manuscripts purported to have been written by the late English poet John Keats. The work was found between the walls in a house that was not previously known to have been inhabited by Keats.
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