The Spoof : Dec 2008 spoof news stories

Miley Cyrus Vagina Now More Popular Than Britney Spears Vagina

There was great excitement in the entertainment sector today when the results of a nationwide survey revealed that the vagina owned by Miley Cyrus is now more popular than that of Britney Spears. The vaginas, both very similar in design, are curre...

Pictures of Jessica Alba's shaved pussy shown to very interested Vanessa Hudgens

Sultry 'Sin City' hotty Jessica Alba has handed over photographs of her shaven pussy (her cat of course!) to High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens for further inspection. Alba says her cat had an accident involving a hedge trimmer at her Beverl...

Brenda Song & Rob Pattinson To star in Indie film, ''Burning Star''

Brenda Song and Rob Pattinson are set to star together in a new porn independent film called, "Burning Star". The new couple would like to appear in serious films for 20 year olds. Pattinson has one other movie to shoot and Song has one more seas...

Teen queens, Brenda Song and Selena Gomez have a surprise for eveyone!

Teen queens, Brenda Song and Selena Gomez are reportedly petitioning to appear on the cover of a magazine, but they want to do it fully nude. Song, 20 and Gomez, 16 are both planning to appear on the cover of the magazine (like Miley did not so l...

How to talk shit like a professional

Preface: This is another one of those "Jesus Budda self help advice columns". It's essentially shit. Which is good for the purposes of the article. Learning Materials: A human being with a voice box capable of emitting sounds(most likely yourself), a sarcastic tone, a light bulb (for use in darkened areas in which you need to see the person (s) you are about to talk shit to, a bag of drie...

Mossad Pension Fund hit for $900 million in Madoff Ponzi scam

Tel Aviv - (Sorry Ass Mess): The Israeli secret intelligence service is hopping mad after Off-the-Wall-St trader Bernard Madoff lost 95% of the Mossad's pension fund in his $50 billion hedge fund collapse. "How come we didn't see this one coming?"...

John Lennon: Ten Little Known Facts About Beatle John

SAN ANTONIO, Texas - December 8, 2008, will mark the 28th anniversary of John Lennon's passing. John, Paul, George, and Ringo (the Beatles) still remain the most famous band of all-time. Ten Little Known Facts About John Lennon: 1. He hated the G chord and never included it in any of his songs. 2. Most people thought that John's middle name was Winston. It wasn't, his middle name was M...

The Twelve Days of Christmas Revisited

In respect of today's economic climate the old Christmas song "The Twelve Days of Christmas" are in need of readjusting (Bringing it into 21st century). The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be the cash crop forecasted. It will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance. The two turtle doves represent a redundancy t...

Miley Cyrus, Vanessa hudgens and Jamie Lynn Spears in pregnancy scare

Miley Cyrus got the fright of her life when she got her home pregnancy test mixed up with friend Jamie Lynn Spears last month. The confusion arose whilst the two decided to try out some complimentary pregnancy kits Miley had received as part of a...

Zac Efron has Trouble with his Cock - wonders if he really needs it

Uh oh! Zac Efron is having cock trouble again and this time it's serious. The High School Musical prick just can't keep it under control. He's tried everything from tieing it down with garden takes, jamming it in a cupboard and even considering ge...

Brenda Song and Rob Pattinson Hook Up - For revenge!

Brenda Song and Rob Pattinson are reportedly a couple, well according to the voices in my head they are. And furthermore, my vivid imagination tells me that Song, 20, and Pattinson, 20, are hooking up for revenge. Pattinson dated Joe Jonas's curr...

X Factor Diana Vickers Shits Her Knickers Story just reached 100 Views!

There was amazing news from Monkey Woods' writers desk at TheSpoof.com this morning, when it was revealed that a story by the amateur scribbler and social commentator had, in only three days, racked up more than 100 views worldwide! The story, Dia...

Anne Robinson And Judge Judy Are The Newest Members Of The PussyCat Dolls!

The manager of the pop tarts Pussycat Dolls, has kicked out two members of the loveable hooker group and has replaced them with celebrity hard women; Anne Robinson and Judge Judy Sheindlin. The manager defending his decision said " The Pussycat D...

Scientists Find Howard Stern's Penis to be Smallest Unit on Earth

ENGLAND - In breaking news that is shaking the science world, scientists at Bourge' Laboratory located just outside Liverpool have discovered that the smallest unit of matter on Earth is not the atom which has been known to be the smallest unit on Ea...

Brenda Song and Joe Jonas Hooking Up again?

Teen queen, Brenda Song and teen heartthrob Joe Jonas were spotted again in my dreams, this time alone and flirting. Jonas, 19, and Song, 20, were rumored to be dating for a while in February to July of 2008. The two darlings denied it several ti...

Vanessa Hudgens' Ass Smells - Friends Complain about stepping in piles of Shit at her House and foul stench on her furniture

Vanessa Hudgens' ass problems just keep on getting worse! Now her closest friends are publicly complaining about the stench and the large amounts of of sticky shit that covers that stars carpets and furniture. It's now gone out of all control that...

Brainy fans storm the BBC as the 'Eggheads' haughty C.J is replaced by born-to-be bullied Barry!

Angry fans of the the hit BBC programme, 'Eggheads' stormed the BBC in two days time. Pushing Jeremy Vine to the floor, and kicking him around his pious knackers. The upset fans rampaged through the studios, armed with encyclopaedia's, trivia books,...

Diana Vickers Shits Her Knickers

Viewers of ITV's X Factor were shocked and stunned last night, when singing sensation Diana Vickers was eliminated from the competition, and, in front of milllions watching on TV, promptly shit her knickers. Show host Dermot O'Leary caught some of...

Adult film star humiliated by sex tape scandal

Adult film star Mandy Myst tearfully addressed members of the media yesterday and confirmed reports of a sex tape circulating around the internet that features her engaging in all manner of sexual behavior. The actress - known for engaging in all man...

World Record Peeing Record Broken

Uri Nator of the Gambia has just broken the world record for peeing, slashing the previous record held by Jimmy Riddle of Wolverhampton. Riddle's record was an astounding one minute seventeen seconds, but Nator waded in with five minutes twelve se...

Vanessa Hudgens slammed for Mexico's Naked Virgin of Guadalupe magazine front cover

Mexico City - (Naked Ass Madonna Mess): High School Musical starlet Vanessa Hudgens has been slammed for her tinsel-pubed Naked Virgin of Guadalupe on the December front cover of iconic glamor magazine LA FagHagSlagMag's Mexican edition. The publi...

Redneck Bible Interpretation: Genesis 1:1 - 2:3

The Story of Creation Genesis 1:1 - 2:3 In the beginning, before God got to creating stuff there weren't much around. 'Cept darkness and water. Nothing else, though. God would fix that PDQ. The first day God must've got tired of wandering around in the dark because He made light. I reckon He was happy with it 'cause He seperated from it the dark- sorta like you would put all your bolts in o...

Teen queen, Brenda Song Admits Dating Joe Jonas

JORENDA FANS rejoce! Teen queen, Brenda Song has finally comfirmed that she dated teen tunk Joe Jonas. After a long period of denying they were ever a couple, Song finally tells the truth. The two Disney darlings both denied dating for several months...

Man with Worlds Hairiest Balls says he sweats too much in hot climates

Johnny Crown, the man with the Worlds Hairiest testicles, says he gets incredibly sweaty when visiting hot climates. "I get so hot and sticky. My balls really start itching like crazy. I just need to jump into a cold shower to cool off", moaned Jo...

100 reasons why you're still Single!

Why are you still single? Possibly because you... 1.Call Grey's Anatomy simply "Grey's" 2.Have entertained the notion that "the Axe Effect" is real 3.Own tie-dyed gym clothes 4. Purchased your dining room set with Marlboro Miles 5. Are only gay when you're drunk 6. Have written poetry inside a Starbucks 7. Wink in a rakish manner each time you tell a joke 8. Have a ferret...

Heather Mills to be in UK Celebrity Big Brother January 2009

Heather Mills has jumped at the chance to be in Celebrity Big Brother after her plea for a private loo was accepted. Mills agreed to star in the reality TV show after reaching an agreement with bosses about having her own bathroom. The Sun repo...

Amy Winehouse In St Lucia 'Horse With Tits' Drama

Nutcase Amy Winehouse stunned tourists and locals alike by performing an outrageous topless dance on holiday in St Lucia. The tattooed Rehab singer bared her breasts for a bizarre hotel balcony boogie, before appearing on the beach to splash abou...

Akrit Jaswal, The 12-Year-Old Indian Doctor, Finds Cure For Boredom

Akrit Jaswal, the 12-year-old Indian boy, who has all the medical knowledge and experience of all the UK's doctors put together, has made a significant breakthrough in the search for a cure for boredom. Akrit is thought to have an IQ higher than E...

What Love means to 4 - 8 year olds

Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes. A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?' The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined See what you think: 'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenai...

Emma Watson thrilled with Daniel Radcliffe's stiffy

An ecstatic Emma Watson held a press conference today to tell the world of her excitement at seeing and holding fellow Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe's stiffy. The jubilant starlet was in high spirits as she explained the occurrence, which hap...

Jennifer Aniston: I Want To Be Brad & Angelina's Babysitter

LAS VEGAS, Nevada - Jennifer Aniston has revealed, in an exclusive interview, with ET's Mary Hart that she has decided to quit being a famous movie and television star and dedicate herself to being Brad and Angelina's full time babysitter. Jennifer, looking erotically sexy in a see-thru black teddy from Victoria's Secret talked candidly with Mary while on the set of her latest motion picture,...

Bush Shoe Tosser Signed By The Seattle Mariners

SEATTLE, Washington - The Seattle Mariners who in 2008, had the worst record in the American League (61-101) have just signed Muntazer al-Zaidi to a three year, $3 million pitching contract. Al-Zaidi is the Iraqi journalist who threw two shoes at...

Shaun Mercer Is A F*cking Cocksucker, Say 'Mates'

Shaun Mercer, the Liverpool teenage gang member of the Croxteth Crew, found guilty of murdering 11-year-old Rhys Jones in the city in 2007, is a f*cking cocksucker, according to fellow gang members. Mercer, ironically of Good Shepherd Close, was c...

Funny story: World famous astrologer says "Stars foretell that Pakistan territory will end up being divided within 3 months because of its own calumnies"

World famous astrologer says "Stars foretell that Pakistan territory will end up being divided within 3 months because of its own calumnies"

LONDON - Famous astrologer Crystal Ballz says "things do not look good for Pakistan". Ms. Ballz is well-known for her famous predictions including the election of Barck Obama, the breakup of Madonna and Guy Ritchie and the birth of the Brangelina tw...

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Barack Obama Finds Real Birth Certificate

Kenya? Hawaii? Indonesia? The truth has finally been revealed as President Elect Barack Obama has found another birth certificate (and this one does not have any white-out on it). A previous, obviously altered birth certificate that showed one ho...

Spring Fashion: Painted Camel toes

Paris, France: In a controversial and visually alarming display, Foofi, the designer enfant terrible, has introduced literally painted gentilia and buttocks as his Spring fashion line. Foofi's models paraded the run way with assorted garments coveri...

Vanessa Hudgens Photographed Trying to Sell her Ass Down a Back Alley

High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens was photographed by a paparazzo attempting to sell her ass to a burly Latino male in an alleyway beside a seedy Los Angeles donut shop. The actress was then overheard asking the man if he was interested in...

Steamy Centerfold Calendar, "Sexy Sirens of the GOP" Will Top All Holiday Wishlists

Wahington DC- Still not sure what to get your husband for Christmas? How about a calender featuring a few of the hottest, sexiest ladies...of the Republican Party! The steamy and controversial 2009 calender, "Sexy Sirens of the GOP" will be on sto...

UK Economy Booms Following VAT Rate Decrease

Wereinthemoney, England - The Labour government's plan to reduce the Value Added Tax (VAT) on goods and services from 17.5% to 15% took effect today with resounding results for the economy. The move to stimulate consumer spending and head off the imp...

Putin caught shagging ex-Olympic gymnast Svetlana Khorkina

Moscow - (Bolshevik Ass Mess): Russian Prime Monster Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin has been caught shagging former Olympic 'artistic' gymnast Svetlana Vasilievna Khorkina, now a Deputy in the Russian State Duma. Private detectives acting for Mrs Putin...

Jehovah's Witnesses to Deliver Mail

In a move that proponents say will save the federal government millions of dollars, the United States Postal Service announced today that the Watchtower Bible And Tract Society will begin having it's members deliver the mail. Known as Jehovah's W...

Cowboys to Unveil World's Largest LCD Monitor

Dallas Cowboys GM, President, and Owner Jerry Jones announced today that he will unveil the world's largest LCD monitor on Saturday, January 3, 2009, in the soon-to-be- retired Texas Stadium. Spanning 130 yards long and 30 yards high, this dual-sided...

Emergency Room Nurse Reveals Plaxico Burress Shot Off His Penis

A Nurse at the emergency room that treated New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress has revealed anonymously that he shot off his penis in the night club accident Thanksgiving weekend. Burress has been placed on injured reserve by the team pend...

Hobos Getting High on Battery Acid and Aspartame

DETROIT - Now that lots full of new cars are being abandoned, hobos are moving in to 'salvage' the battery acid and cook up a new treat for the street. Normally too sour to consume, the battery acid is mixed with pure aspartame to make a sweet tangy...

Santa tops CIA most wanted list

In a remarkable turn of events, the CIA (Criminally Insane Americans) have announced that Father Christmas is the CIA's 'Most Wanted'. Many notaries have topped this list in the past, most recently Osama Bin Laden of Al Qaeda, and Adolf Hitler. Bu...

Star Jones Regaining Weight But In Different Places

Friends say that Star Jones has packed on 35 more pounds - and sources say she's absolutely terrified the weight gain will drive away the man she hopes will change her life forever! Or, perhaps someone else who will change the rest of her life forev...

In Stunning Reversal, Springsteen to Donate Super Bowl Earnings to Bush Memorial

Singer/songwriter Bruce Springsteen, who has a long history of supporting far left, un-American, unpatriotic, and anti-Bush activities, shocked friend and foe alike yesterday by announcing he would donate the money he will be paid to perform at half-...

Nigella's Kids are Fed Up

It was revealed last night that the children of celebrity TV chef Nigella Lawson are fed up with their mother's cooking. Speaking on a rare interview on CBBC, Cosima Lawson (14) and Bruno (12) complained that life in the Lawson household was not like...

EastEnders Heather The Subject Of Court Action By George Michael After Crucifying 'Last Christmas' During Tonight's Episode

Heather Trott, the horrible, fat EastEnders slug, tonight became the subject of what could be a lengthy court battle with popstar George Michael, after she crucified his Wham song 'Last Christmas' in this evening's episode. Heather 'sang' the son...

Jade Goody forum causes Internet to crash

The Internet was shut down for an incredible 7 hours earlier this month following Jade Goody's announcement that she was going ahead with her cancer treatment during the panto season. Engineers working frantically to discover the cause, found tha...

Obama To Legalize Marijuana

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - President-elect Barack Obama announced on Thursday that his administration will quickly legalize marijuana. "I am preparing to end the costly and pointless federal raids on marijuana users," said Obama between drags from...

Sarah Palin & Nigella Launch Alaskan Fur Fashion Line

Bear Trap, Alaska - America and Britain's two most powerful female media figures have teamed up to launch an exclusive range of luxury furs. Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin often touted her hunting abilities during her campaign for the American Vice-...

Ann Coulter Movie: 'Diary of a Meth-Addicted, Pre-Op Transexual' to Begin Production

Hollywood, CA- It's official: vitrol-spewing, hate-filled harpy Ann Coulter's biography, Diary of a Meth-Addicted, Pre-Op Transexual will be made into a movie with the same name. The journals were written by Coulter from the ages of twelve to thir...

Lapland Park Scam a Huge Rip-off

A newly-opened 'Winter Wonderland' theme park has been described as a 'joke' and a 'scam' by thousands of angry visitors. Many people have demanded a refund of the £25 they paid to enter the Smegmadale Forest Lapland Leisure Park on the Hampshire...

Prepubescent 'Satanic Slag' album pic behind Scorpions online rumpus

London - (Lurid Ass Mess): Online disinformation agency Sickiepaedia has been banned in the UK after complaints about a picture of a prepubescent 'Satanic Slag' promoting German band The Scorpions's 1976 Virgin Killer album. The cover features a s...

Steven Gerrard Latest: Liverpool Fans Say They Will Do Gerrard's 'Prison Time' For Him

There was good news for Steven Gerrard today, when hundreds of Liverpool's staunchest supporters made a tremendous gesture towards the Anfield club and their captain when they said they would happily go to pison and serve time for him so that he coul...

Stoning the Devil at Hajj Turns Chaotic as Devil Throws Stones Back at Pilgrims

Mecca, Saudi Arabia - Three million pilgrims at the 2008 Hajj were stunned when the devil threw stones back at them. The stoning of the devil is one of a series of rituals during the annual pilgrimage to Mecca that every able-bodied Muslim is expecte...

South Korea's Most Beautiful Actress/Adultress

SEOUL, South Korea - One of South Korea's most famous actresses has been found guilty of adultery. In a high profile case the full-time actress and part-time adultress Ok-So-ri said that she is so sorry that she got caught having an affair with on...

NORAD Tracking Santa Threat

COLORADO SPRINGS (FMLiveWire) - Who says the Santa Claus communist threat doesn't exist? The military personnel here at NORAD charged with being the eyes in the sky are believers and are acting like the threat is very real. The North American...

Russell Brand Judges And Wins Stinking Vagina Competition

The lovely looking and scented, Mr Brand has amazed the world by being a judge on the world's most offensive vagina and walking off with the title himself. Mr Brand who has slept with over 5000 women (all conscious) and 200 vacuum cleaners of var...

Shoes Thrown at Bush in Baghdad

Handbagdad, Iraq - US President George W Bush declared both his presidency and his wardrobe completed today when an Iraqi journalist hurled shoes at him during a press conference on his farewell visit to the war-torn country. Ducking behind the po...

Boy Glues Pictures of Vanessa Hudgens to his Hand. Says it's the best Sex he's Never had.

14-year old Billy Bummer from Asshole, Mississippi says he has glued a picture he tore from a teeny magazine of High School Musical hotty Vanessa Hudgens to his hand and uses it as "inspiration" for marathon wanking sessions behind the bike shed at h...

Song and Gomez: We want to do serious movies!

Teen queen, Brenda Song and starlet Selena Gomez are considering doing Broadway, and have both stated that they want to do serious movies, that mean something to people. Song, 20, and Gomez, 16, most known for fighting with Miley Cyrus and dating...

Russell Brand Concert Tickets May Have To Be Sprayed!

Sleazy Sex-Loser Brand, is so sullied from his lurid sex life, his concert tickets may have to be sprayed with some form of liquid penicillin, say concerned malcontents. While scientists have dispelled the myth, 'looking Russell Brand directly in...

Zac Efron breaks his nose in freak basketball accident

Zac Efron has broken his nose in five places whilst playing basketball in a public park. Plastic surgeons were called to the scene immediately, but a spokesperson has announced that Efron "may never be attractive again." The world's markets were q...

David Bowie Is New Doctor Who

The BBC has tonight revealed that aging crooner, David Bowie, is to be the new Doctor Who, succeeding Scottish actor David Tennant, who is leaving the show to concentrate on his first love, Porn Films. Bowie, pronounced BOH-EE (with the BOH as in...

Bristol Palin's mother in law-to-be busted for five kilos of Alaskan Matanuska Thunderf**k

Wasilla, Alaska - (High and Dry Mess): Just days away from becoming a grandma to Governor Sarah Palin's eldest daughter's baby Wasilla resident Sherry L Johnston was busted this morning for growing 'up to five kilos' of the notorious Alaskan Matanusk...

Boy George is Fat and Guilty Say Smug Jury!

Fat Boy George O'Dowd, was found guilty by a group of people, that enjoy seeing celebrities brought to their knees. The 1980's pop sensation was found guilty of being fat, bald, and looking "very ordinary". He was also found guilty of the lesser c...

Droylsden to be thrown out of the FA Cup for ineptitude

Masters of the inept, Conference North outfit Droylsden FC are to be thrown out of the FA Cup despite their recent heroics for fielding an ineligible player. Droylsden were in the third round of the prestigious cup and set to play Chesterfield whe...

Camilla Bella Preggers, Guess Who's Daddy!

According to the leprechauns in my head, Camilla Belle is pregnant and is claiming that the father is Twilight heartthrob, Robert Pattinson. Belle is reportedly 2 and a half months along, Pattinson has still not been told. The two actors have...

Orders Pour In For Bush Attack Shoes

WASHINGTON (FMLive Wire) -- The shoe hurled at President George W. Bush has sent sales soaring for the Turkish shoe maker as orders pour in from Iraq, the USA, Congress, Iran, Europe and other developing and developed nations. The gray-brown, th...

Koo Stark $5 million life story admits she and Prince Charles are Kate Middleton's real parents

Sandringham, Norfolk - (House of Windsor Bollox Mess): A gut-wrenching dread is enveloping the Sandringham estate this weekend ahead of the Yuletide gathering of Puppet Monarchy impostors eagerly awaiting to get their hoary snouts into the annual squ...

Barry Manilow meltdown means O2 arena concerts cancelled after first night

Borey Manilow's series of concerts at London's White Elephant Arena have been cancelled after only one night, because on his opening night, the star started to melt under the lights. The promoter of the show, Con Bookingfee, explained that as Barr...

Michael Jackson to auction glitter glove, jacket, Tito

After years of rumors regarding the king of pop's worsening financial situation, Michael Jackson has reportedly agreed to auction some of his most prized possessions. Among them: a famed glove decorated with shiny sequins, a jacked worn during the fi...

Illini Gov Blagojevich Charged with Importing and Wearing Endangered Monkey Wigs

Among the charges brought against Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, the FBI accused him of illegal importation of endangered monkey hair wigs. The Governor unfortunately has been photographed wearing just such big furry hairpieces theroughout his tw...

Most Idiotic Nuisance 999 Calls of 2008 Revealed

A Smegmadale Jewish priest, Rabbi Sheldon Scrunt, dialled 999 when staff at Manchester Airport's W H Smuts bookstore would not allow him to use the toilet, then subsequently shit kittens when the plods turned up and arrested him for making a nuisance...

Lindsay Lohan's Lesbian Eatery

MALIBU BEACH, California - Actress Lindsay Lohan and her girlfriend, Samantha Ronson will be opening a new restaurant in Malibu Beach. The restaurant which is scheduled to open on January 13, 2009, is called, 'Lindsay Lohan's Lesbian Eatery.' Lindsay was interviewed by CBS's Katie Couric. "So tell me Lindsay why did you decide to open up a restaurant?" Lindsay replied, "Well Katie I have al...

Father Christmas arrested

Father Christmas was arrested yesterday when it was discovered that his "Naughty and Nice" list contravened the UK Data Protection Act. "After a raid on his home," said Detective Inspector Phil Inne, "we discovered on his computer a large list of...

Original Cast of Hair to Perform in the Nude

Audience after audience have left the Broadway revival of Hair disappointed that today's youthful actors just cannot relate to that special something that sixty somethings recall if they can even remember the Sixties. Producers of the show in a last...

Brains, Balls and Intelligence

Kings Bollocks College, London, England - A recent research study has found a link between intelligence and sperm quality in men. Analysing data from American soldiers who took IQ tests and gave sperm sample in 1985, biologists in London have...

Manchester United Players Don't Make Good Managers, Says Ferguson

"Just because a footballer has enjoyed a successful playing career with Manchester United, doesn't mean that he will make it in the field of management." These were the wise words of Manchester United boss, Sir Alex Ferguson, today after his side'...

Obama Buys Hawaii Ocean Front Estate: Camp Hussein to Replace Camp David as Presidential Retreat!

Hawaii/ Real Estate News - It was announced today that President Elect Barack Hussein Obama II had purchased a $15M ocean front estate that had been on the market for 5 years in a flagging real estate market. Aides say Obama "wanted a change" from th...

Massive dreidel-shaped Hannukah UFO appears over Madoff's Lipstick Building

New York - (Ponzi Ponce Mess): "At first we thought it was giant inflatable dreidel," neighbors of Ponzi-scam trickster Bernard Madhoff said today following reports of an ominous Hannukah UFO seen hovering over the disgraced trader's Lipstick Buildin...

Daphne From The Eggheads Is The Strongest Player - and God!

"Daphne Fowler from the Eggheads is not only the strongest player, she is the physically the strongest member on the Eggheads team and actually an Alien God", says a tearful and spineless, Jeremy Vine. "I have to make sure she checks all the answe...

Oil Industry to Bailout Auto Industry

Dallas TX: A representative of the "Big Three Automakers," Mr. Willie Sutton departed the ongoing Congressional Hill bailout hearings to fly (commercial air) to Dallas Texas. He attended a meeting with the Board of Directors of the American Petroleum...

Pam Anderson Wardrobe Malfunction Bit Over The Top!

The top-heavy Baywatch babe was taping a segment for the Osbournes Reloaded Show when during a skit her two famous assets came spilling over the the top of her extremely skimpy dress. "The Osbournes are blindfolded themselves and ask the guest que...

Ann Coulter To Donate Adam's Apple To Science

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Hoping to support Michael Behe's "piercing cry of intelligent design" with actual genetic evidence, Ann Coulter has vowed to donate her Adam's apple to science. Citing a "keen interest in real science," she pledged the genetic mat...

Steven Gerrard Nicked Over Night Club Assault Shennanighans

Liverpool FC Captain Steven Gerrard was reportedly arrested last night following allegations of assault in a Southport nightclub. Rumours that he was out drinking with fellow Liverpudlian Joey Barton have yet to be confirmed. The only informati...

Strictly Come Dancing Results

Strictly Come Dancing, the BBC dancing reality show plagued by controversy and cheating allegations during the past few weeks, has attempted to come clean with the viewing public, and has announced the results of tonight's showdown before the Live Gr...

Miley Cyrus reveals her family tree

Miley Cyrus, the current rising yet falling star, reveals her family tree about her and her family. The reveals all in an interview with Ok. She takes out a rolled out A2 piece of paper with her family treee. As the interview looked at the family tree, Miley talks about where she comes into the family. "The truth is, Billy Ray Cyrus isn't my real dad. My real dad is actually my uncle. My mo...

World's Oldest Web Page Discovered

Philadelphia PA-- Excited scholars at the University of Pencilvainia uncovered what may be the oldest web page ever written. The web page was on a tiny computer screen, located in Fish Hall. The dusty computer with flashing green cathodes was still...

Bush throws shoe at Cheney who misses but hits Iraqi reporter instead

Baghdad Iraq - US President George.W. Bush's surprise visit to Baghdad on Saturday ceased to be a surprise after he hit a famous journalist with his size 10 shoe. The president had been accompanied in the visit by his Vice Dick Cheney to witness...

Introducing: Pamela Anderson Designer Pantiliners

ST. LOUIS, Missouri - The Raveon Corporation, hurting from dwindling sales due to the fact that a lot of today's women are opting not to wear makeup has decided to get into the pantiliner business. So on Valentine's Day, 2009, Raveon will unveil,...

Derby County Still The Worst Team In Premiership History

Derby County Football Club, who were relegated from the Premier League last season, are still the worst-ever team to have played in the top flight, after West Bromwich Albion drew 1-1 with Portsmouth on Sunday, and surpassed the Rams' record-lowest t...

Funny story: Sex Change Weekends Are Here

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